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Author
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Topic: Dilemma
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asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 01:04 PM
  
So if anyone has any thoughts on this situation let me know: Basically, if you were me what would you do?Issue: I am in love with a man and have been for a little over a year. I really love him so much with all of my heart. We have a good synastry but our composite is very karmically infused and complex. We are not in a relationship per se at the moment due to some circumstances (cannot elaborate on this and will not).
Believe me, I have tried to stop loving him. But no matter what, I am brought back to him and our relationship keeps renewing and regenerating itself in a lot of great ways which is just beautiful. I met a guy who wants to commit to me and be in a long-term relationship with me that eventually leads to marriage: this is what he tells me. I do not have feelings for this guy so I honestly do not want to torture and torment the poor thing only because I am kind of lonely and am not with my true love at the moment. However, he really is a good guy and seems to care for me. Dilemma: Do I go with the man I don't love in hopes of getting married only to get married and be unhappy but have a certain stability or Do I wait for my love? Please help I don't want to be selfish and hurting others IP: Logged |
doommlord
Moderator Posts: 1036
From: israel
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted September 16, 2012 01:13 PM
do you want to fight for your happiness or settle on something that is not fufilling and might end up doing more damage?IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 01:17 PM
quote:
Originally posted by doommlord:
do you want to fight for your happiness or settle on something that is not fufilling and might end up doing more damage?
Of course I want to fight for my happiness. The problem is my mom does not approve (and neither would anyone else for this matter) of the man that I love. She seems to influence me a lot. However, she did say this: If you are going to go ruin this single guy's life who is looking for a long-term relationship and you aren't really committed in it for the long term then that's possibly even worse and that I should not mess with his feelings. IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 01:26 PM
To add:with my love I have my venus conjunct his moon and my venus conjunct his sun as our strongest aspects (less than one orb) and lots of other good ones. our most binding is my saturn conjunct his venus (talk about glue) with the other guy I have my moon sextile his sun (1.37 orb) and venus square venus (which is bad) I have venus in sag. he has venus in virgo.....but then we also have my moon in virgo oppose his moon (2.5 degree orb). my saturn trine his venus IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 36736
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 16, 2012 01:34 PM
My feeling as I read it is not to commit to the second guy. That is my gut feeling, for what it is worth.------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
doommlord
Moderator Posts: 1036
From: israel
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted September 16, 2012 01:41 PM
if you have true feelings of love towards the second man so you would be able to live with him but in my opinion if you dont have feelings for him you will end up finding a man to who you will have feelings and end up cheating...IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 212
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted September 16, 2012 01:56 PM
The heart wants what the heart wants, and you cant control that. You need to go with what will make you the happiest. You could end up marrying the other guy simply for a temporary fix, but in the end it wont last if your truly not into him.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 36736
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 16, 2012 01:58 PM
quote:
Originally posted by libraschoice77:
The heart wants what the heart wants, and you cant control that. You need to go with what will make you the happiest. You could end up marrying the other guy simply for a temporary fix, but in the end it wont last if your truly not into him.
Well said, dear Friend! xx ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 212
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted September 16, 2012 02:08 PM
^I have always tried to follow my heart  IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 3968
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 16, 2012 02:27 PM
Personally, I would say neither one is right for you.It sounds like their might be problems with the first one. The second one, you're likely to hurt him. Neither are good matches. I don't believe that following one's heart is always right. In some cases, yes, but as a very intense person, I can tell you that sometimes you need to let emotions run their course and pass, and NOT make decisions based on emotion or while you're feeling emotional. You have to use your head in love, not just your heart. Both are important. IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 02:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by libraschoice77:
The heart wants what the heart wants, and you cant control that. You need to go with what will make you the happiest. You could end up marrying the other guy simply for a temporary fix, but in the end it wont last if your truly not into him.
IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 02:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by libraschoice77:
^I have always tried to follow my heart
IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 02:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
My feeling as I read it is not to commit to the second guy. That is my gut feeling, for what it is worth.
I think you're right. The issue is I am feeling desperate as a young woman. Is it wrong to have sex with the second guy just out of curiosity? (I assume it would have negative implications on him since I don't have feelings for him) IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 212
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted September 16, 2012 02:52 PM
Only speaking from personal experience, if I would have stayed with that Scorpio man that mentioned in past posts I would be miserable. But people around me told me I should just marry him and be content with what I was dealt. I decided to take my leave from the relationship, mind you it was a few years. I knew I was never going to be fufilled in that union. And now currently I am so glad I made the decision I did. The second I met my Leo, I could feel he was the one for me, there was something in my heart that knew we belonged together. There was chemistry with us on all levels. Almost like deja vu, and now we are married, I never been happier. Just saying for some following the heart can work.IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 02:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by libraschoice77:
Only speaking from personal experience, if I would have stayed with that Scorpio man that mentioned in past posts I would be miserable. I decided to take my leave from the relationship, mind you it was a few years. I knew I was never going to be fufilled in that union. And now currently I am so glad I made the decision I did. The second I met my Leo, I could feel he was the one for me, there was something in my heart that knew we belonged together. Almost like deja vu, and now we are married. Just saying for some following the heart can work.
Oh the irony - the guy I don't want to be with is a Scorpio and not only bc he is a Scorpio but because my heart is occupied with a Sagittarius (like me)! I already had a bad experience with a scorpio and he was not the kindest, plus preventing my growth as an individual and I don't want to go there again. When I met my Sagittarius, I knew he was the one for me. Just like you said about your person! IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 212
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted September 16, 2012 03:06 PM
^It did take us awhile before we were married though. Sometimes love takes time...IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 03:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by libraschoice77:
^It did take us awhile before we were married though. Sometimes love takes time...
It does take time. I am ok with that. IP: Logged |
ail221
Knowflake Posts: 1275
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 04:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
Personally, I would say neither one is right for you.It sounds like their might be problems with the first one. The second one, you're likely to hurt him. Neither are good matches. I don't believe that following one's heart is always right. In some cases, yes, but as a very intense person, I can tell you that sometimes you need to let emotions run their course and pass, and NOT make decisions based on emotion or while you're feeling emotional. You have to use your head in love, not just your heart. Both are important.
I agree with RegardesPlatero, Either way you'll end up hurt because your not satisfied with either possible relationship, waiting for a guy who won't possibly commit to you long term can be emotionally draining and becoming involved with another man who is honestly more in love with you than you are with him. The grand question choosing between love or security. IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 05:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
I agree with RegardesPlatero,Either way you'll end up hurt because your not satisfied with either possible relationship, waiting for a guy who won't possibly commit to you long term can be emotionally draining and becoming involved with another man who is honestly more in love with you than you are with him. The grand question choosing between love or security.
Well thanks for telling me that I will end up being hurt either way. I was hoping it wouldn't be like that.
Wish people would be more careful in phrasing their sentences. I'm not trying to be rude or anything. I didn't say anything about commitment in fact I stated that I would not like to elaborate on what the situation is. IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 212
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted September 16, 2012 05:03 PM
Whatever decisions you choose to make, I do hope things work out for you in the end  IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 05:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Well thanks for telling me that I will end up being hurt either way. I was hoping it wouldn't be like that.
Wish people would be more careful in phrasing their sentences. I'm not trying to be rude or anything. I didn't say anything about commitment in fact I stated that I would not like to elaborate on what the situation is.
I have just never told him that I love him because I am too afraid. IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 05:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by libraschoice77:
Whatever decisions you choose to make, I do hope things work out for you in the end
Too scared to confess my love for him! IP: Logged |
ail221
Knowflake Posts: 1275
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 05:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Well thanks for telling me that I will end up being hurt either way. I was hoping it wouldn't be like that.
Wish people would be more careful in phrasing their sentences. I'm not trying to be rude or anything. I didn't say anything about commitment in fact I stated that I would not like to elaborate on what the situation is.
Woah there what is going on with mercury today. OK, I wasn't trying to intentionally hurt your feelings nor did I ask to you indulge into the details of the relationship with the first person. I am speaking from the point of view of someone who has seen this sort of situation before first hand. I am trying to be a realist in either situation someone is going to get hurt, unless you realize what you want,there are love songs written about this, movies, books etc. Which is why I said this is the grand question; head over heels love or a relationship with the security of knowing someone deeply cares about you to the degree that you feel safe. If you take that a offensive I am sorry I'll leave this discussion. IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 258
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 16, 2012 05:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
Woah there what is going on with mercury today. OK, I wasn't trying to intentionally hurt your feelings nor did I ask to you indulge into the details of the relationship with the first person. I am speaking from the point of view of someone who has seen this sort of situation before first hand. I am trying to be a realist in either situation someone is going to get hurt, unless you realize what you want,there are love songs written about this, movies, books etc. Which is why I said this is the grand question; head over heels love or a relationship with the security of knowing someone deeply cares about you to the degree that you feel safe. If you take that a offensive I am sorry I'll leave this discussion.
I am not that offended. I just feel like I am really without a choice either way and really screwed for life now. I know sometimes it takes time for love but I am very impatient. Also, I just don't have the same level of closeness as I do with my first one. Really in an unfortunate situation either way. Problem is that I don't get to meet new men too often so it is really limiting for me and I sense that I am missing out on sex/love. I'm in my early 20's. IP: Logged |
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