Posts: 71
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011

posted May 22, 2013 07:13 PM            

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We were talking last night as we do EVERY night I'm currently hitting the gym up for my trip to Miami and then Bermuda . Yesterday we were talking and I was talking about my gym routine he asked me how much I weigh smh lol .. I said a guy isn't suppose to ask a female that. He said this is me your talking to I can ask you if you're on your period lmao. This is your bro . I thought in my head bro? Not that again . A few years make when I was still undergrad ( college) he confuse to wanting to be with me In a little card/letter. But his signature at the end was your bro and them his name! That was confusing . He Is extremely lighthearted but can be emotional at times ( Sun Cancer Venus in Gemini ) I'm also the same but sensitive and stubborn ( Sun in Pisces Venus in aqua in 2nd house) he is the type to form relationships from a " friend ". What should I make of this ? Other than that he is super supportive of my endeavors / future and vice versa seems like we are a team))...though over the years we both stated feelings for each other at different times !

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Posts: 4928
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted May 22, 2013 07:15 PM            

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You're getting hung up on a phrase. He is trying to come off casual, but man...the guy confessed to wanting to be with you! He still wants to be with you but since you said he is your friend, then I'm guessing he doesn't know where he stands with you. So he's just that best guy friend waiting for you to date him and in the meantime will summarize it using "bro."

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Posts: 1702
From: vodka fine, I'm so divine
Registered: Nov 2012

posted May 22, 2013 07:48 PM            

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Me and my female friends share stuff like that all the time! I dunno, it doesn't seem weird or anything really. They could talk about their periods and it'll be g to me 'cause I am their BRO, BROSKII, or something like that lmfao! Once we even had a pretty easy going chat about pubic hair, trimming, and stuff like that! It's not really perverted, it just seemed like stuff to be curious about. It's the socially unacceptable stuff that is really not all that shameful to talk about.

I think it's socially conditioned barriers that make you uncomfortable with him asking stuff like that. Maybe some of the Pisces self-consciousness or sensitivity. ?

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Posts: 29962
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 22, 2013 10:39 PM            

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Moving to Sweet Peas.

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Posts: 71
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011

posted May 22, 2013 11:44 PM            

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You're right I'm guessing I'm getting caught up with the term " bro" I'm also looking at from my perspective which is when I like someone I don't use that term which makes it a little confusing .He even has went as far to talk about other females too me but in reality NOONE is checking for him

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Posts: 71
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011

posted May 22, 2013 11:56 PM            

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@Somethingexcellent somethings are uncomfortable like when one day he was talking to me about naked females in a mag lol...I said you know I'm a female and I don't want to hear about this he got offended and called me uptight ...it's just weird because I actually like him

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Posts: 2577
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted May 23, 2013 12:13 AM            

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He thinks his own subjective viewpoint is objective and the "default" model for all others and doesn't understand that had he been born different (gender just being one possibility) that he'd have gotten very different "software" (social conditioning) and life experiences that would give him a different (some subtle, some radical) view of the world (even with the same natal chart) and would react differently to things like questions of weight.

Hopefully he'll outgrow it.

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Posts: 71
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011

posted May 23, 2013 12:35 AM            

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@PlainJane can you break down a little more what you just said lol ...furthermore thank you for your insight

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Posts: 2577
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted May 23, 2013 12:50 AM            

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As a guy he wasn't raised to measure his worth in beauty or to be self conscious about his weight (not like a girl anyway). He also wasn't raised with likely sexual harassment that can get menacing, **** shaming, or the dangers of being a victim of male violence for being a woman (all too common according to FBI stats) so that he doesn't understand how talking casually about porn could distress you. He's not being mean, he's just ignorant. In a way, he sees you as "one of the guys." He does mean well but I know how annoying it can be, too.

And this is normal for people, they assume their own life experiences and social programming is universal rather than individual which leads to a lot of misunderstandings between people (particularly between men & women), though it's more complicated than that with some insecurity about fitting in tossed in the mix and also men & women who think they're normal (so if a woman likes bad boys then she thinks ALL women secretly desire bad boys even if they say otherwise, and we had a thread recently here where people talked past each other about women liking bad boys until it became clear posters were working with radically different definitions of what a bad boy even was while assuming everyone else shared the same definition, and thus confusion & chaos).

I even read about "reality tunnels" that different people have in Prometheus Rising when I was 17, but I was about 25 before I came to better understand just how different people are from each other without realizing it.

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Posts: 71
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011

posted May 23, 2013 12:58 AM            

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I understand I just find it confusing he uses the term " bro" when expressing feelings for me. It seems like an concealment to get close to me, but he is a good friend for the most part

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Posts: 1702
From: vodka fine, I'm so divine
Registered: Nov 2012

posted May 23, 2013 01:33 AM            

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quote:

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PrettyPisces: @Somethingexcellent somethings are uncomfortable like when one day he was talking to me about naked females in a mag lol...I said you know I'm a female and I don't want to hear about this he got offended and called me uptight ...it's just weird because I actually like him

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Hm. Well all right it sounds like he doesn't really know boundaries, plus he blamed you for it. Does he do this often? I mean, does it bug you?

Ahem, that aside, I thiiiink him calling himself your bro is just him trying to be endearing.

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Posts: 71
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011

posted May 23, 2013 12:06 PM            

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It does bug me ... I'm like dude I'm NOT gay! You're being extra right now lol. He did do this often until I put him in his place lol , then he went silent on me for a day lol. I think him say he's the bro is a way of him trying to be close to me so " endearing " is right lol

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Posts: 71
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011

posted July 18, 2013 10:22 PM            

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My friend whom I've been close with for years ( met as kids ) got in trouble with the law his mom immediately called me crying , the next day we had a convo talking and I asked her was he continue to stay in our hometown , she replied I'm moving outta town , and he is waiting to see what y'all two are going to do ! I was studded lol... His mom knows we are " just friends " even though I do have feelings for him . The next day it happened again she referred to be as " his girl". At this point I don't know if he told her that we are dating or if she just likes me ...Should I ask him did he tell her that or just tell him what she said ?---UPDATE INFO

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