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Author Topic:   RAPE-THE SILENT (GLOBAL) EPIDEMIC
Linda Jones
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posted November 19, 2013 06:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Linda Jones     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
* long post alert *

Here are the statistics for the U.S. (from Wikipedia)—

--> 91% of rape victims are female and 9% are male, and 99% of rapists are male.

--> Only 16% of rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police.

--> Factoring in unreported rapes, about 5% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail.

-->Contrary to widespread belief, rape outdoors is rare. Over two thirds of all rapes occur in someone's home. 31% occur in the perpetrators' homes, 27% in the victims' homes and 10% in homes shared by the victim and perpetrator. 7% occur at parties, 7% in vehicles, 4% outdoors and 2% in bars.

--> Source-US Bureau of Justice Statistics-
Rape by a Current or Former Intimate Partner--26%
Rape by Another Relative--7%
Rape by a Friend or Acquaintance--38%
Rape by a Stranger--26%

Rape is a very important issue that affects our personal, individual happiness and that of society as well. In this thread I’d like to focus on the rape of young girls (in high school and college campuses) and adult women in America (well, all over the world, actually, but since I live in the U.S. I can only speak about society here. But I’m pretty sure that what I have to say applies to men and women all over the world).

Please feel free to say whether you agree or disagree with my views, and also feel free to offer you own suggestions about what you think can be done to turn this situation around (in your own country if you don’t live in the U.S.).

Just to be clear … I’ve never been victimized. Still … this issue bothers me as I see it as one of the fundamental problems in society today. I’m going to try and offer some reasons as to why girls and women are being de-humanized.

What should be done fundamentally to stop this behavior? — In general, I think education, raising our level of awareness, open discussions, and urging each other to speak up and support women would be good for starters. [If the crime has already occurred, then I vote for stiffer punishments than are now being handed out in the U.S.]


THINGS MEN CAN DO TO STEP UP AND STOP RAPE:

· Speak Out - against demeaning and aggressive behavior against women. Don't laugh at jokes about violence against women. Speak out against images of women as dehumanized sex objects.

· Talk with People Close to You - start a dialogue about sexual violence or rape. Get different perceptions about this issue and truly listen to what they say on how you can prevent it, and accept that their feelings are real.

· Mentor and Teach Boys - what it means to be a responsible and moral man, who respects others.

What I’m hoping by posting this thread is an open discussion and awareness of this topic, not only here on LL, but also among yourselves in real life … your friends, your family—especially the male members—your brothers, fathers, cousins, uncles, etc.


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Linda Jones
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posted November 19, 2013 06:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Linda Jones     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think that when someone abuses our trust and hurts us women in the worst possible way imaginable, we need to turn to that person and say, “stop it, you’re hurting me, your behavior is unacceptable, you need to be held accountable for your actions.”

Going past the well known “rape is a crime of violence and power, not sex,” and the nonsensical (and repugnant) notion that women “invite” rape by dressing inappropriately (60-80 year old women are being raped … an 83 year old woman was raped this past summer in my state) …

I’m going to begin by giving an example of an American woman journalist who was gang raped by a local crowd of men in another country, while she was there on assignment (naming the other country is unnecessary because my purpose is not to incite). What stood out to me about this case was, that aside from the obvious horror of the crime, there was a stunningly lack luster response by men back here in the US, when they were told about the incident and asked on camera how they felt. A couple of men even seemed as though they were uncomfortable with the question, because, after mumbling something like “it’s not right,” they acted like they couldn’t wait to get off camera. The story quickly lost steam and got buried. About a week later there was a brief clip in the news about President Obama telephoning the woman journalist in the hospital to inquire how she was doing, and to express his concern.

I’m absolutely appalled that there wasn’t an appropriate amount of outrage expressed by Americans, especially men. PETA makes such a hue and cry if a celebrity is caught wearing fur. So much concern is shown for animals in general, but where are the care and concern for the women of this country?

Here’s another example I wrote about in my Kundalini thread … that of Michael Vick (professional basketball player). What is mind boggling to me is that in the US, people like him can be sentenced to several years in prison for holding dog fights for money (viewed as excessive cruelty to animals), plus face public disapproval and humiliation, and suspension from sports. Yet rapists, in comparison, are given a rap on the knuckles by our society and the justice system. And this is provided rapists get any sentence at all, since the burden of proof is always on the victim. Through such disparities, our society is sending the message that animals are more valuable than women.

Here’s another question … why do women have to fight for the same privileges as men when those privileges should automatically be ours by right? For example, why did the Suffrage Movement ever have to be established? Just so we might be “allowed” by men to vote? But shouldn’t that have been our right to begin with?

And can a society that does not respect nor care for its women, ever hope to flourish? I think not. If the responsibility of maintaining the moral fabric of society has been thrust upon women, and men disrespect the same women by continuously suppressing them through violence (including rape), intimidation, manipulation, and plain brainwashing (stuff like women should not get angry, be arrogant or cocky … they should be sacrificial, demure, yielding, submissive, seen and not heard, blah, blah) … will the moral structure of that society not collapse? And after such a collapse, how long will that society last?

We (in the U.S.) are so quick to point fingers at how badly women are treated in other nations … but the real and more important question is … how are we Americans behaving toward our own women?

Why are young teenage girls in American society today growing up with such low levels of self-esteem that they seek drinking as a way out of their misery … following which they are promptly raped by boys who are waiting for just such an opportunity? What morality is being taught to these boys that they somehow give themselves permission to take advantage of a drunken girl or woman, instead of helping and protecting her from danger?

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Linda Jones
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posted November 19, 2013 06:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Linda Jones     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There’s currently a silent epidemic of rape all across high school and college campuses in America … an epidemic that is being fueled by society’s DOUBLE STANDARDS towards women … DOUBLE STANDARDS that everyone knows about … yet shrugs off, or conveniently ignores and pushes under the rug. But our very acceptance of these double standards is what allows men to think they can get away with violence against women.

What is this double standard? It is an expectation that the females in our society should always conduct themselves at a level of moral behavior that is far superior to that of the males. Meaning, women should walk on water, but it’s ok for men to be “bad”. In fact the “bad-der” a man is, the more popular he becomes.

And how is this double standard being enforced in our society? By rewarding good behavior in females and rewarding bad behavior in males. IT IS THIS SYSTEM OF INAPPROPRIATE REWARDING THAT IS BEHIND THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WOMEN BEING ATTRACTED TO “BAD BOYS.” (Take note, Aquaguy, if you’re reading … since your perpetual and biggest complaint on this board seems to be … or at least used to be … about women who are attracted to bad guys).

To give recent celebrity examples of this double standard—when Justin Bieber used a mop bucket in the back of a restaurant he was dining at, as his personal urinal because he was drunk … he was not only excused by the media that said, oh he’s only 19, boys will be boys, etc., … but the teenage public actually swooned … saying, ooh he’s so bad. He did not offer an apology for this drunken antic (he later apologized for cussing out President Clinton after the latter spoke to him over the phone), showing an absolute lack of consideration that that mop bucket was a restaurant employee’s work tool.

At the same time, 23 year old Taylor Swift who is, imo, not only a terrific role model for teenagers and young women everywhere, but has proved beyond doubt that real talent presented without gratuitous sex, trumps everything that the music industry has to offer today. She has been in the music industry since her teenage years, has not been involved in scandalous affairs, gives such perfect answers when interviewed that she’s considered boring by the press, always dresses appropriately … in public as well as in her videos, and even oversees the business side of her brand by working closely with the managers handling her affairs. Is she for real? Yep, she is … and frankly … she impresses the heck out of me. Yet, she was criticized at an award show by the hosts, Tina Fey and Amy Fowler, for dating too many men. She needed to take time out and be by herself for some time, they said. Really? She has a dating history of only 2 men per year, dumps them when they don’t offer what she’s looking for (you go girl), then writes songs about them, and ends up making money off of those songs. What’s wrong with this strategy? Nothing, it’s perfect! Yet implicit in Ms. Fey and Ms. Fowler’s criticism was the innuendo that Taylor Swift was somehow being morally irresponsible by dating so many men.

See the double standard? See how a male is being rewarded for bad behavior while a female is being criticized, despite the fact that she’s an extraordinary example of appropriate behavior? And see how, in this case, two women are being another woman’s “worst enemy” by incorrectly and inappropriately criticizing her?

Why is this? Why do we hold women to much higher standards than men? So that women would have to do the hard work of upholding society’s moral bar, while men go scot-free? And why have women been brain washed to subscribe to this double standard? Is it because men make all the rules and women follow them unquestioningly… even if it means trashing and slamming other women so that this INAPPROPRIATE, UNJUST, AND UNEQUAL double standard can be maintained? Have we women been so numbed to our own needs that we don’t WANT to ask for more for ourselves from society? Why not? Don’t we deserve more … in terms of better behavior and respect from men?


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Linda Jones
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posted November 19, 2013 06:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Linda Jones     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Back to the rape issue …

In the case of a 16 yr old girl raped by three 17-year old high school football players in N. Carolina after they invited her to a non-existent “party” and got her drunk to the point of her passing out … the mother of one of the football players now claims (the case has not gone to trial yet) that it was her son (who is 3 times the size of the girl) who was raped by the girl and that this girl should be the one to be arrested and thrown in jail … that her son is so good looking and charismatic (he’s actually very low energy, imo) that he doesn’t need to rape a girl because girls are constantly throwing themselves at him! [I think of this as an example of a woman being another woman’s (young girl’s in this case) WORST enemy].

The question is … when are we going to hold boys and men fully accountable for their actions … instead of letting them get away with a rap on the knuckles? Why are high school and college football players being given such a sense of entitlement that they are allowed to think they can get away with a crime as heinous as rape?

And why, why are we expecting women to not only be the bearers of morality but also to bear the burden of having to defend themselves from men? And when girls and women are raped, why don’t men shout out their objections in support of women? Unless men support women … loudly and aggressively, … how can this behavior stop?

A 15-year old high school girl from Canada was not only gang raped, but was also ostracized by her entire school (including other girls) and social media when she complained. She withdrew from school, her family moved to a different town, yet her Father continued to receive death threats, and she was so hounded that she later committed suicide. Even after she’d killed herself, her peers continued to speak ill of her on social media. Why is the raped victim hated so much? And why are girls turning on girls who are raped? What causes them to side with the boys who have committed the crime?

Rape within marriages is not likely to be well documented because most wives probably submit to it, either wrongly believing it to be their wifely “duty”, or some other such pressure. One California wife however, managed to audiotape her husband raping her. The audio on the tape was enough to convict the husband even though he tried to defend himself by saying they were role-playing during sex. After he was behind bars, the wife pursued a divorce from him. Even though she was granted the divorce, according to California law, she was ordered to pay $ 1,000.00 per month in alimony to the ex-husband while he was in jail! She was infuriated by the insult added to her injury, and worked tirelessly to have the law changed.


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Kerosene
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posted November 19, 2013 06:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good info!!!!

not to mention bieber goes to Brazilian brothels..
media slaughters miley cyrus for being weird but totally ignores his sleazy antics..

I've even heard some of them say; Oh he's a boy what do you expect....
Really, really?
What am I.. a duck?

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Linda Jones
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posted November 19, 2013 06:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Linda Jones     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here’s what Lindsey Collen (female author) has said, “…what allows abuses like rape to exist at all [...] is something that is soaked in the whole fabric of society, and that when you add up all the insidious and often invisible aspects of patriarchy, then you end up with a balance of forces between man and woman, which allows a man, if he wants to, to violate a woman, and to know that he can get away with it.”

It is this unspoken “knowing” by a man that he can get away with it, that allows him to commit the act of rape. The lack of consequences for his actions gives him the necessary boldness to commit this crime … a crime that is so heinous that, imo, it is worse than killing someone. Why? Because the perpetrator of rape “kills” the victim even if the victim manages to stay alive physically. The “life” (or energy) of the victim is stolen, and because the humiliation, degradation, and dehumanizing accompanying rape are absent from the act of killing someone.

What is the underlying cause behind rape? Basically, it is society’s attitude toward women. Bear with me while I explain this further.

What I’m trying to do is to point out that the cause of society’s attitude toward women lies with the patriarchal world’s discomfort with one of the most important polarities within us—the female/male polarity (yin/yang). Generally … when we’re uncomfortable with this polarity within ourselves, we tend to bring one or the other side into prominence. Society has somehow decided that the male side is better and superior than the female.

Instead of realizing that the natural personality of every man and woman is the result of a dynamic interplay between the masculine and feminine, we’ve decided to declare that each personality is a static hierarchy, where all men are supposed to be masculine and all women feminine.

Meaning, men are supposed to have only masculine qualities and women only feminine qualities … even though we know that there’s bit of masculine in every woman (the white dot in the yang, or a bit of testosterone in every woman), and a bit of feminine in every man (the dark dot in the yin, or a bit of estrogen in every man)—this is the whole symmetrical circle of yin and yang showing the interplay of feminine with masculine—an interplay that is continuous and cyclical … instead of static and fixed.

Besides declaring that the genders are static, we’ve also decided to give men the leading roles and most of society’s privileges —hence a static hierarchy.

[Actually … historically men have pretty much just taken the privileges (making women’s lives much harder than they need to be … something that is agreed upon even by male psychologists today). And they’ve been taking privileges from women for the last 4000 years or so (from roughly 2000 years B.C.), … based on the coming of the Hebrews into Canaan (from the Old Testament), and their subjugation of the people of Canaan. The prevailing divinity at the time in Canaan was the Goddess. The male-god-oriented Hebrews not only rejected and wiped out the Canaan Goddess worship, but also used the term “Abomination” to refer to the Canaanite Goddess in the Old Testament. Many of the Hebrew kings were condemned in the Old Testament for worshipping on mountaintops, because mountaintops were symbols of the Goddess. So the Western subjugation of the female is a function of biblical thinking … people do as their gods do … more on this below]

Back to static hierarchy—the subjugation of the female and the superior status afforded to men has created an incorrect perception and outlook that has resulted in an over emphasis of the yang or male qualities of human nature such as—competition, aggression, rational thought, etc. (particularly in America). Consequently, the yin or female aspects of human consciousness such as—receptivity, wisdom, intuition, mysticism, etc., have been suppressed in our male dominated society. It is no wonder then, that there’s such an imbalance and asymmetry in our internal energies of yin and yang, as well as lack of peace due to repression of our natural feminine qualities.

Lao Tzu said that a fully realized human being is one who, “knows the masculine and yet keeps to the feminine.”


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Linda Jones
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posted November 19, 2013 07:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Linda Jones     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
More on the history of the Western subjugation of the woman—

The story of Creation in the Bible has similarities to the Creation stories in other religions and mythologies also. But it is only the Bible that has done women a great disservice … because it is only in the Bible that Eve has been cast as being responsible for the Fall, and therefore the downfall of mankind.

In the Christian story of the Garden of Eden, the serpent is the seducer … even though the serpent is revered and considered a positive symbol in other religions—in Hinduism, the most poisonous snake, the Cobra is sacred, as also the Serpent King in Buddhism. The serpent represents the power of life engaged in the field of time and death (our 3D material world), yet is eternally alive … its falling skin representing the world as its shadow.

So the serpent really affirms life … and the biblical viewpoint of seeing it as the seducer is really a refusal to affirm life. But then, according to the inherited biblical tradition, life is corrupt, and every natural impulse is sinful unless it has been baptized. The serpent brought sin into the world and the woman handed the apple to the man. So both the serpent and the woman are identified with sin. And, because the woman is the begetter of life (the implied Mother figure in the Garden), life itself is identified with sin. This “twist” is what lies behind the mythology of the Fall, which is said to be responsible for mankind’s separation from God, the Source.

Implicit in the story of the Garden of Eden is the Mother Goddess, but … when the Hebrews rejected the Canaanite Goddess in favor of a male God … they also rejected the implied Mother Goddess in the Story of Eve. With the birth of Christ, Mother Mary made a bit of a comeback, but not enough to erase the subjugation of women, because the status of the Goddess was not restored.

Deep in the psyche of most Christian based thought is the “finger pointing” toward women … women are the ones held responsible for the downfall. Why? Perhaps because woman represents life and man cannot enter life except by woman. But life is also suffering because it is a world of polarities (pairs of opposites). So it is woman who brings man into this suffering. And the subjugation of woman by man … is man’s payback for being introduced into the world of suffering.

Prior to the Old Testament, the Goddess was the significant deity. After that, the roles got reversed and the male became a significant deity. This is why I like Hinduism where the male and female divinities are in interaction with each other, with neither being dominant. And the Feminine Principle is not devalued.

It is the devaluing of the female that is responsible for the strife and competition with, and aggression and violence (such as rape) toward the female. And most likely it is the devaluing of the female for centuries that is creating an uprising, shown by female teen aggression today.

What can be done to make changes?

Firstly, men need to speak up in support of women and be critical of other men who intimidate, devalue, degrade, dehumanize, and objectify women.

Secondly, and I don’t mean to sound trite but, in the short term, I think women should stay away from alcohol. It appears to be the singular reason behind making women vulnerable to men. Alcohol affects men and women differently, and women are much more susceptible to a physical inability to move their muscles under the influence, becoming much more impaired than men, therefore leaving them open to easily being physically overpowered. So I would say, don’t drink especially when you’re around men … even if you think you can trust the man/men. [One college student recounted her story of being raped by a close male friend … someone she routinely hung out with and trusted. So when she got together with him on a Friday night to watch a movie at his place, and he offered her beer, she didn’t give it a second thought … until the next day when she realized that he’d raped her].

Thirdly, and in the long term (and I’ve said this on my Kundalini thread—page 6) …
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/004630-6.html

As women, we need to be able to start identifying with the Divine Feminine Principle … the Vehicle of life … within us. The essence of the Feminine Principle is—the giving of birth and the giving of nourishment. So, she is identical with the earth Goddess, Gaia, in her powers … this is something every woman needs to understand. And when you have a Goddess as the Creator, it’s her own body that is the Universe. She is identical with the Universe. She is time and space itself, i.e., our 3D world. Everything you can think of, everything you can see in this world, is a production of the Goddess. Everything is within her so that even the gods are her children. Understanding your Divinity or Shakti is understanding and identifying yourself with Gaia. You are Gaia, the giver of forms.

With this shift in understanding our true identity, we can feel empowered from within and not only stand up to … but also overcome repression and violence against us.

Ok, I’ve said enough . Now I’m very keen to hear what you all have to say.


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------------------
~ I have a DO NOT DISTURB sign on my imagination ... because I want to frustrate the twins ... Convention and Dogma

~ The moment I cease to seek the truth, or settle for the truth in the moment ... that is the moment I cease to be a seeker, and become a fundamentalist instead.

~ The truest acts of charity are never disclosed ... they remain a secret between Man, the doer and God.
Because Man knows that each charitable act is an opportunity for him to revel in God just as God avails of His chance to revel in Man through every act of charity.
For them both to continue to rejoice in each other, Man knows he cannot allow worldly accolades to distract him. So he continues to act in kindness ... secretly.

~ True meditation is the correction and lifting of our thoughts … from fear, doubt, and insecurity to love, trust, and faith.

~ moi ~

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Linda Jones
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posted November 19, 2013 07:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Linda Jones     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Good info!!!!

not to mention bieber goes to Brazilian brothels..
media slaughters miley cyrus for being weird but totally ignores his sleazy antics..

I've even heard some of them say; Oh he's a boy what do you expect....
Really, really?
What am I.. a duck?


No kidding! Thanks Kerosene.

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------------------
~ I have a DO NOT DISTURB sign on my imagination ... because I want to frustrate the twins ... Convention and Dogma

~ The moment I cease to seek the truth, or settle for the truth in the moment ... that is the moment I cease to be a seeker, and become a fundamentalist instead.

~ The truest acts of charity are never disclosed ... they remain a secret between Man, the doer and God.
Because Man knows that each charitable act is an opportunity for him to revel in God just as God avails of His chance to revel in Man through every act of charity.
For them both to continue to rejoice in each other, Man knows he cannot allow worldly accolades to distract him. So he continues to act in kindness ... secretly.

~ True meditation is the correction and lifting of our thoughts … from fear, doubt, and insecurity to love, trust, and faith.

~ moi ~

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somethingexcellent
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posted November 19, 2013 08:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for somethingexcellent     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Meaning, women should walk on water, but it’s ok for men to be “bad”. In fact the “bad-der” a man is, the more popular he becomes.

This is rape culture...the very concept that everything in our society revolves around men. Women in media are sexualised for the pleasure of men and then demonised when they become sexual for their own pleasure - women can be sexy but only if it's for men. Men get off for free while women are asked

What was she wearing?
Why did she go to that party?
Why was she out at night?
How much did she have to drink?

It's sickening and I hate it. And before anyone (aquaguy) comes in and says, "not all men are like that"

That is not the f#cking point

How about you step up your game and say hey, you're right, this isn't an attack on the character of men, this is an attack on the actions of society. Men rape, and everyone knows that not all men are like that, so save it and instead do something helpful.

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Padre35
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posted November 19, 2013 09:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Eh, WTH, for the sake of discussion:

-Then put a camera into the brothel where Bieber allegedly went into to partake of their services

-Is the allegation that Bieber hired a prostitute, or that they were their against their will?

-Odd that the concern is over her being drunk, not whether or not if the male was drunk and she quite sober

-OP mentions the US, yet the thread starter mentions a global epidemic, granted the stats are more than likely more solid for the US, yet if one says "global" that would tend to mean "global".


Is a Patriarchal Society necessarily bad/dysfunctional?

Keep in mind, I'm a Saggie, conversations are the soul of our existence.

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aquaguy91
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posted November 19, 2013 09:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Linda Jones:


--> Only 16% of rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police.

--> Factoring in unreported rapes, about 5% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail.

[/B]



This is where all the rape stuff gets too crazy for me. How do they know these alleged rapes are happening if they aren't being reported? How can they even put that in statistics? I don't doubt that some rapes go unreported, but to say 80% of rapes go unreported is absurd. Maybe those 70 to 80% of rapes aren't being reported because... Wait for it... They aren't happening. Don't get me wrong I think rape is a serious crime and should be severely punished but I still think it is pretty rare despite what feminists say and want us to believe.

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Kerosene
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posted November 19, 2013 10:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"They aren't happening."
I can't believe you just said that... just leave this thread and go back into your mums basement.

I can assure you there are plenty of users on this site that have had at the very least near rape experiences... and maybe they didn't report it..
Being raped is humiliating and sometimes you don't want others to know.. or maybe they seek their own form of justice or perhaps they cared about that person.
Being raped is one of the most complicated experiences you will ever go through..

Why don't you use you think before you type but I'll blame that on your condition... or whatever..

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aquaguy91
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posted November 19, 2013 10:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
"They're not happening."
I can't believe you just said that... just leave this thread and go back into your mums basement.

I can assure you there are plenty of users on this site that have had at the very least near rape experiences... and maybe they didn't report it..
Being raped is humiliating and sometimes you don't want others to know.. or maybe they seek their own form of justice or perhaps they cared about that person.
Being raped is one of the most complicated experiences you will ever go through..

Why don't you use you think before you type but I'll blame that on your condition... or whatever..



I expected that response but im just asking an important question. How do they know these rapes are happening if they aren't being reported? How can they even put this in statistics? There's no way to know.. I personally think alot of this stuff is nothing more than fear mongering.

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12muddy
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posted November 19, 2013 10:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ah yeah, this hits a sore nerve.

I was born and grew up in Asia and it's bad in my country. It comes from the Confucian teachings that emphasizes female subordination to men.

Was nearly raped twice and harassed on many occasions, just because of my breasts size - "She was flaunting her t*ts". When I was harassed by some boys at school, naturally I objected and got into a fight. The Headmistress punished me but not the boys, coz "Boys will be boys".

Now, from what I've experienced and observed in the western world, it's pretty sad too, but it's good that there are more people who're willing to stand up against misogyny.

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DeepFreeze
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From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013

posted November 20, 2013 01:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's very difficult for me to even wrap my mind around rape.
I mean I know it's out there and happens all the time. I just... it's one of those things that is so far out there for me I can't even begin to imagine the mindset of a rapist. Do you know what I mean? I'm just like... "WHAT?!"
I don't get how a guy can do that but I know it happens.

I think the statistics are probably from studies. As in, when participants are asked they say, "Yes. I was a victim of rape." Yet, at the time the rape occurred and to this day, they had never reported it to police.
Just anonymously gave the answer to the study group.

I can't recall details but I remember reading about The Democratic Republic Of Congo in Africa. I think it was as recent as early 2000's or late 90's. It was invaded and the invaders were told that for a certain weekend that they could rape any woman that they wanted - and they did. Many thousands of women were raped that weekend. It's still a very large problem there. I watched a documentary about it once too.

Anyway, it's just unbelievable. It truly boggles my mind.

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Ceridwen
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Posts: 12331
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posted November 20, 2013 01:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Linda Jones,

Aquaguy,

I don´t believe statistics either; however I think the exact percentages is not the core-issue.

Imo one girl (woman) or one boy (man) being raped is one too many.

However, it is also true, that there are many more being raped than those reporting it (to the police).

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PixieJane
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From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted November 20, 2013 02:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
One thing that interested me was a documentary on a vicious all-male crime syndicate that sounded so vile that they must be sociopaths, and yet they had a strong zero tolerance policy against rape, as in if any of their members engaged in it they were executed (illegally). I had to say that was quite the contrast to say the US Military and got me to musing on what sociopathy actually is and if their gang was just another form of patriotism in "unacceptable" (that is "patriotic" to an identity as opposed to the government) form.

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PixieJane
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From: CA
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posted November 20, 2013 02:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I got told "boys will be boys," too, but at least I got told thanks by more than one girl.

I was 12, it was a new school, and I wasn't sleeping well so I was in a lousy mood and not going to put up with it that day. I warned him multiple times to stop goosing me but he thought my objecting was hilarious. While going up the stairs I stopped half way up and kicked him in the face causing him to fall all the way down (there were many kids so he didn't fall hard but at the same time the kids also made it too hard for him to stop himself from rolling to the bottom) and then all the kids were laughing at HIM. I got called into the office minutes later where I explained what happened and got told "boys will be boys" and then the principal got mad when I responded, "And girls will be girls." Gods, I was so punished for that, though it's more complicated than that and given how brain drained I feel right now I don't want to get into that. But as so many kids saw what happened it spread through the school like wildfire and many girls appreciated it and told me so. And the boy continued to harass other girls but he never bothered me again.

But after I was the victim of **** rumors just before turning 14 my older male cousin made it clear that if anyone raped me, of any age or profession (including preacher) then he was going to mess him (or them) up so bad they'd commit suicide, and he didn't give a damn if they found Jesus and repented since then. I do believe that's why I wasn't raped. But if I had been I may not have told him because I wouldn't have wanted to lose him (to prison) when I needed him the most.

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Kerosene
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From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted November 20, 2013 03:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Fear mongering.. is that the best you can come up with to excuse that post.

The fact is that it happens all the time... more than you know...
Rape isn't alway this dramatic situation, where someone just jumps you in a park or breaks into your home.
It's so easy rape someone, especially someone that trusts you... relationships etc.
When someone tells you no, it's rape.. Simple.
it's important for people to be aware, I don't see why that's fear mongering.

Congrats, you don't have to worry about being raped because you're large 6'4 bloke...
Not the typical sexual object in Tennessee, who knows maybe you can try your luck at west hollywood?
Or is your 5'2 libra girl going strap you don't and force you to penetrate her against your will.
Maybe in your dreams?

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somethingexcellent
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Posts: 4122
From: vodka fine, I'm so divine
Registered: Nov 2012

posted November 20, 2013 03:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for somethingexcellent     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
aquaguy91: How do they know these rapes are happening if they aren't being reported? How can they even put this in statistics? There's no way to know.

Two things:

1. Your missing the point (which isn't a surprise, you have the awareness of a cow) if you're blowing things off as "fear mongering"
2. Unreported means unreported to the police. These are estimations but maybe they know these rapes happen because they're reported later? Or someone else reports it for the victim?

Look DeepFreeze is thinking centuries ahead of you!

"I think the statistics are probably from studies. As in, when participants are asked they say, "Yes. I was a victim of rape." Yet, at the time the rape occurred and to this day, they had never reported it to police.
Just anonymously gave the answer to the study group."

It always boggles my mind when the privileged are unable to see their own privilege. Ugh.

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aquaguy91
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From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted November 20, 2013 03:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Fear mongering.. is that the best you can come up with to excuse that post.

The fact is that it happens all the time... more than you know...
Rape isn't alway this dramatic situation, where someone just jumps you in a park or breaks into your home.
It's so easy rape someone, especially someone that trusts you...

it's important for people to be aware, I don't see why that's fear mongering.

Congrats, you don't have to worry about being raped because you're large 6'4 bloke...
Not the typical sexual object in Tennessee, who knows maybe you can try your luck at west hollywood?



I never said rape doesn't happen. My point was you can't really know how many rapes are being committed if they aren't being reported. As I said I don't doubt that some rapes go unreported but 80%+ ? Give me a break...

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Kerosene
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Posts: 10702
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted November 20, 2013 04:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

Maybe those 70 to 80% of rapes aren't being reported because... Wait for it... They aren't happening but.... I still "think" it is pretty rare despite what feminists say and want us to believe.


You're full of **** ... you could of at least edited your post.
You think you're so clever too... such a wordsmith.
I'm a ******* aquarius.. I'm the devil advocate.
You don't know anything about this world.

So my experience never really happened? oh okay..
No I didn't report it because I was 15, stupid, scared, and blackmailed...
Hmm my sister and my best friend, they're also special cases too I suppose.

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aquaguy91
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From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted November 20, 2013 04:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sigh* I never said some rapes don't go unreported. I just have serious doubts that it is as common as these statistics try to say it is.

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Odette
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Posts: 4198
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted November 20, 2013 07:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You'll find some answers here aqua:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110523173907AATHeJe

I liked this answer:

quote:
Hospitals and ERs keep track of types of injuries, for one thing. If someone comes in with genital or anal tears or bruising, and asks about STD tests, it's a pretty good bet that this person has been raped/sexually assaulted, even if no rape report is filed. By comparing the number of people who come in with these sort of injuries with the number of rape reports filed with the police, it's pretty easy to estimate how many violent rapes are not reported.

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Odette
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Posts: 4198
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted November 20, 2013 07:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Kero - Your posts make me feel inwardly ecstatic.


:edit: ^^ not referring to anything negative you said about aqua guy... but your posts on the topic.

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