Author
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Topic: How to help an alcoholic?
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teasel Knowflake Posts: 6228 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2014 11:14 AM
I tried writing about this on a private forum, and then deleted the post, because it felt too private. I might delete this one, too - I think I've only told one person here what happened over the past couple of weeks, via email.*edit. Never mind.
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teasel Knowflake Posts: 6228 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2014 11:16 AM
Actually, I should find an AA website. I keep meaning to do that. damn it. I haven't known who to talk to about this. The past four years have *sucked*. IP: Logged |
Violets Moderator Posts: 3777 From: Registered: Apr 2011
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posted June 02, 2014 11:43 AM
This is an excellent site, with numerous forums for a lot of different issues. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/ IP: Logged |
Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 3711 From: Asheville, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 11:45 AM
they have to find something else to fill that hole they are trying to fill with boozeIP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 55495 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 02, 2014 11:58 AM
quote: Originally posted by Padre35:
they have to find something else to fill that hole they are trying to fill with booze
Well said, Padre.
------------------ Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course. http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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T Knowflake Posts: 10693 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2014 05:22 PM
I found your email today. Very sorry to hear about this teasel. I'm going to write you later, I don't know what to say right now besides that I feel for you. For now, keep in mind that alcoholism and other addictions often have a physiological component that all of the talk-therapy or "filling of holes" or antidepressants won't fix. People often leave detox and slip right back into the pattern because the physical, nutritional, hormonal, genetic, chemical imbalances were not fixed [or even addressed]. And not because they are weak, because there are other predisposing factors, even bigger hurdles than just the emotional level ones.I wish I knew the right answer or had some solid advice as to what to do in your case. Unfortunately addiction is a complex and individual matter with no known cure-all that will work for everyone. It needs to be handled with the help of skilled professionals. And on many levels, not just emotional. If I can think of or come across info, methods, advice or anything that I think might be of help, I will send them your way. You will also need your own help in recovering whether she gets help or not. Hang in there. I know it's not easy. IP: Logged |
T Knowflake Posts: 10693 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2014 05:26 PM
Genetic and Physiological Components of Substance Abuse and Addiction Most people know that there is a correlation between substance abuse/use and decreased brain functioning. Substance use affects the way in which the brain processes chemicals and produces responses. The question is, do endocrine imbalances cause a higher prevalence of substance abuse?
If an individual has a hormonal imbalance, can this cause or indicate a possible substance abuse pattern? It is a difficult question to answer. There has been much research conducted in this area, but perhaps the most understood substance is alcohol. There is a debate over whether alcoholism is genetic. If one’s parents were alcoholics, does it predispose one to alcoholism? There is research that suggests that certain genetic patterns can predispose one to alcoholism. According to researchers at NIDA, there are clusters of genetic variations in certain chromosomal regions that are believed to play a role in alcohol addiction through communication between cells, protein synthesis and development of cells. Once alcohol addiction has been diagnosed, one can then look at brain functioning. When speaking of substance abuse, one will focus on the frontal structures of the brain. In one study which including neuroimaging the behavioral, emotional and cognitive processes that occur during drug use, the frontal cortical areas of the brain were found to be activated during craving, intoxication and binging episodes. Conversely, upon withdrawal from these substances, these areas were found to be deactivated. These are the same areas of the brain necessary for functions such as inhibition and processing. The researcher indicates that there is a physiological component present in not being able to just say no to drugs. Due to the clouding of the cortical areas, individuals may make decisions that are less than desirable. So these studies cover what happens in the brain when substances are used, but what about excessive drinking? Are there genes that, if possessed, my make one more likely to drink large amounts of alcohol? One study which took place in 2006 says yes. Studies were conducted with rats with varying predispositions to drinking alcohol. Meaning, some drank more and others less. Different chromosomes were identified depending on what the level of drinking was for that particular rat. Similar chromosomes have been found in humans in regards to drinking. Researchers were able to narrow down the various genes involved in this process to an isolated twenty. Implications for further research are excellent as a behavioral component has been linked to genetic leanings. It makes sense that children raised in families where substances were used by parents would be more likely to do so. Family history of alcohol use leads to an increased chance of alcohol use. The literature shows that children of alcoholic parents are four to eight times as likely to experience alcohol abuse. In particular, males who display lack of behavioral inhibition are more likely to have an alcohol abuse problem. Inhibitory behaviors include disregarding societal rules and taking risks. In one study behavioral characteristics of one hundred and seventy five male and females, between the ages of 18-30 who were non-alcoholics were included in the analyses. In this group, approximately half had a history of alcoholism in the family and half did not. Lack of inhibition was measured with two different tests. Researchers examined the cognitive and behavioral characteristics of 175 male and female nonalcoholics from ages 18 to 30. Of these 87 had a family history of alcoholism and 88 did not. Two different tests were used, one to measure the working memory of the individual and the other to measure the amount of inhibition the individual possesses. The results of the study correlate a higher level of inhibition and a deficit in working memory which indicates a predisposition to using alcohol. Those persons with a family history of alcoholism were seeking thrills, which can be termed risk taking behaviors. If the therapeutic community can put together all the different aspects of research that have been collected, this says a lot for future potential substance abusers. If a genetic risk can be identified, coupled with familial predisposition, future risks for substance abuse can be identified thereby eliminating further deficits. Alcoholism is most researched and best known of the substance abuse disorders. However, the fact that research has been found which details physiological components of cortical engagement in other substance use is encouraging. It opens the door to research which could identify an individual’s predisposition to substance use, other that alcohol predisposition. In terms of alcohol use in children of alcoholics, this research could very well be preventative in the same way that identification of the BRAC gene is for breast cancer. Identification of genes which would predispose one to an illness can lead to preventative treatment. For individuals with a genetic predisposition the popular ‘just say no’ technique probably won’t work. More will be needed to keep these individuals from drug use. For those individuals who have used and are currently going through treatment, learning to identify physiological urges through neuroimaging could help prevent future relapses. This of course, would be in conjunction with proper support from a trained substance abuse professional. - See more at: http://www.addicti onsearch.com/treatment_articles/article/genetic-and-physiological-components-of-substance-abuse-and-addiction_76.html#sthash.VtkZibrj.dpuf IP: Logged |
T Knowflake Posts: 10693 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2014 05:42 PM
http://www.adultchildren.org/ http://www.bandbacktogether.com/adult-children-addicts-alcoholics-addictio/ http://www.searidgealcoholrehab.com/article-adult-children-of-alcoholics.php IP: Logged |
T Knowflake Posts: 10693 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2014 05:57 PM
[i posted this here rather than email it because it could help others in a similar situation]IP: Logged |
teasel Knowflake Posts: 6228 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2014 07:32 PM
Thank you! She has more of an appetite, and has been walking a little bit - Dad was just touching her, ready to grab her if she started to fall, last night, but she walked part of the way around the bed, and did again this morning. I took her some of my rhubarb pie, this morning, because she told me that she was really hungry, which is cause for celebration. We've been giving her L-glutamine in something, every day, and I think that's helped to do just what it said it would: bypass something in the brain, and kickstart things again. I hope we can get her back to the way she used to be. She needs to build up her muscles again, and I hope that she'll be back to herself mentally, fully, again soon. She's there, but something's off, which I guess was just from the alcohol. I hope it's temporary. IP: Logged |
Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 3711 From: Asheville, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted June 04, 2014 12:10 AM
that is good news Teasel! I've read folic acid and B vitamins are really important for the recovery stage is it helps to rebuild tissue and important DNA functions iirc IP: Logged |
sesame Moderator Posts: 177 From: Oz Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 06, 2014 02:52 AM
Hi teasel, I do hope you can do something to help her. My mums about to die in the next week due to prolonged alcohol abuse over decades. Her kidney's gone and they're turning off dialysis.All the best, Dean. ------------------ I realized it for the first time in my life: there is nothing but mystery in the world, how it hides behind the fabric of our poor, browbeat days, shining brightly, and we don't even know it. Sue Monk Kidd, "The Secret Life of Bees", p79 Logically Magical Logic is Magically Logical Magic! (and vice versa!) Check out my free Chaldean Numerology Program based on Star Signs by Linda Goodman . IP: Logged |
Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 3711 From: Asheville, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted June 06, 2014 03:14 AM
quote: Originally posted by sesame: Hi teasel, I do hope you can do something to help her. My mums about to die in the next week due to prolonged alcohol abuse over decades. Her kidney's gone and they're turning off dialysis.All the best, Dean.
Must hurt, enjoy your time with her IP: Logged |
sesame Moderator Posts: 177 From: Oz Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 06, 2014 04:48 AM
Well, the problem is with this condition, she is always very tired and can't talk for long. I keep going up to see her, but really, we're all just waiting. It's very sad.Dean. IP: Logged |
Yin Knowflake Posts: 3323 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 06, 2014 08:06 AM
quote: Originally posted by sesame: Well, the problem is with this condition, she is always very tired and can't talk for long. I keep going up to see her, but really, we're all just waiting. It's very sad.Dean.
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Yin Knowflake Posts: 3323 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 06, 2014 08:08 AM
I'm sorry to hear that, Teasel. As for helping, I don't think you can, unless they want to help themselves first and it's not too late.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 55495 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 06, 2014 08:17 AM
I am sorry Sesame ------------------ Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course. http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 41621 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 06, 2014 01:24 PM
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fairaqua Knowflake Posts: 585 From: Registered: Feb 2011
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posted June 06, 2014 10:41 PM
I lost my mother to alcoholism a few years ago.It was really sad. I tried getting family together for a intervention, but everyone was afraid to confront her. Now, during holiday get togethers, its hard for them to look me in the eye.. I understand why they were scared and dont blame them in the least. My mom held onto a few things she just would never let go. She would sometimes hint at what bothered her (she had a boyfriend who committed suicide and left a note saying it was her fault, she saw a friends body being taken out after a house fire, etc etc). My grandma has come out that my grandpa wasnt the nicest man all the time..
My uncle died of a pill addiction 2 years before my mom. One of her younger brothers seems to be on *something* every time we see him. Its just a sad story for that side of the family. I stay far away from alcohol and drugs myself.
But anyways... The only thing that can help them is letting them know that you will support them only through treatment. I told my mom to not have contact with me if she was drinking after she blew up at me in a very public place. She sobered up and threw me a baby shower for my 2nd child. About a year later she was supposed to attend my sons 3rd birthday but ended up getting drunk and not showing up. I didnt talk to her after that. 2 months later, a couple weeks before my sons 1st birthday, my father called my SO and told him my mother had died.
I went numb for 2 years. I caused a lot of pain in mine and my SOs relationship.. After I realized that it stemmed from my mothers death I began to heal.
To help an alcoholic you must first take care of yourself IP: Logged |
IV XXIV Knowflake Posts: 258 From: Registered: Mar 2014
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posted June 06, 2014 11:30 PM
As with any addiction, the addicted must want to get better on their own, for themselves. I understand firsthand how difficult it is to witness someone you love, a parent nonetheless; someone who should be setting the right example for you, spiral out of control in such ways. It's truthfully heartbreaking and I think most people who haven't gone through it don't really understand how much it affects you. I offer this advice: remind your mother (or whomever it is, I had made this assumption due to your talk of your father helping) that you love them, that you will always be there for them, and that you are proud of their progress whether big or small. When it comes to getting clean, you need as much moral support as possible. Remind them that you (fortunately) have no idea what the battle they're fighting is like but you would like to help, if you can. There really isn't much you can do other than appreciate their decision and step toward sobriety, and express your gratitude for their progress. Baby steps are still steps. Don't talk much of alcohol or drink it around them, either. That's kind of a no-brainer, though lol. It's heartbreaking to know you can't help but sometimes there are battles you can't fight for others, no matter how much you try, no matter how much you love them, and no matter how much they want you to. It has to be a decision they make on their own and it's a decision they will make every single day of their lives. My mom always used to say, "once an addict, always an addict". I had always thought she meant that you'd replace one addiction with another, but she didn't. She meant that everyday she had to wake up and tell herself she chose sobriety for a reason and to continue down that painful path. It's not easy and many people relapse, but if you really want to do it, you will do it. For your children, your significant other, your job, your parents, or just yourself. You will find a reason and you will find a way. I wish you luck and peace of mind. I'm sorry if my assumptions were wrong. IP: Logged |
sesame Moderator Posts: 177 From: Oz Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 15, 2014 05:24 AM
Thanks for sharing your story,fairaqua, in my case, I'm not sure if anything could've helped.My Mum passed away last Monday @ 1225 peacefully in her sleep. Her funeral is tomorrow morning. I am comforted in the knowledge that she won't experience any pain further in life, but I will never know why she couldn't try to improve while she had the chance. Its weird that someone can give you so much passion for life and yet have none themselves. I think her challenges became too much, but she let that happen in the first place. I do hope others out there are more successful in their attempts at encouraging their family members to embrace life, but we sure couldn't. Heaps of love, Dean. IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 41621 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 15, 2014 12:24 PM
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