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Author
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Topic: Poem I wrote....what do you think of it? Is it to hard to understand?
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Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 02:20 PM
  
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Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 02:30 PM
I wrote this years ago and just opened it back up...
I had made a list of the ways my pain had split me in two and made it impossible for me to find happiness or feel loved when I was going in two opposite directions.It somehow evolved into this after 18 hours of trying to express my pain and understand what was going on onside me.
I'm not even sure how I typed this, I was trying to edit it some about 2 years ago and messed up the format. I couldn't figure out how id done the format to begin with or how to fix it. I had to take it to a computer guy to figure out and he even said it was very complicated, but he fixed it and put it into a PDF file so I can't mess it up again! Lol
I don't remember much of the night I wrote this so I'm pretty sure it was my higher self creating it, not me! This is the first time I've publicly shared it, I hope you like it, there is a couple ways to read it...my fav is jumping from one side of the page to the other the whole way down. You get the complete opposition I felt in my soul at that time.
Expressing this helped me understand what was happening in my soul, and helped me see what I needed to do to come back together. IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 02:36 PM
I'm not sure if this belongs under this topic or maybe under the health and healing?IP: Logged |
Astro keen
Knowflake Posts: 2027
From: UK
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 03:28 PM
Gabby, This is amazing. It encapsulates the deepest dilemmas and pain which many women undergo. You've nailed it.I really like the way you show the transition from co-dependent (that word probably did not exist when you wrote this) to a women who found herself. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 8753
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 02, 2014 03:57 PM
I really like it; it's very well done and deep, Gabby.The shape of the poem makes me think of an angel with outstretched wings. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 55733
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 02, 2014 04:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Astro keen:
Gabby, This is amazing. It encapsulates the deepest dilemmas and pain which many women undergo. You've nailed it.I really like the way you show the transition from co-defendant (that word probably did not exist when you wrote this) to a women who found herself.
Great insight, AK. ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 55733
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 02, 2014 04:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
I really like it; it's very well done and deep, Gabby.The shape of the poem makes me think of an angel with outstretched wings.
Yes, the shape is really beautiful and it is very soulful with a tremendous depth of feeling!
------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 42240
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2014 04:15 PM
Wow! I really really really like that!IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 05:13 PM
Thank you everyone!! It's really personal to me, personifies my darkest issue with pain and how it changed me into someone or something that wasn't really me....for a period of time I thought I was splitting in two. Maybe I was, but I refused to allow myself to fracture because then my kids would not have any help to escape the life I'd allowed them to be born into.I didn't initially mean to make it into a shape, but as I wrote it I started seeing it take shape, so I worked to defined the shape...I thought it looked like an angel also! Which I love because my asteroid Angelica sits on my DNA...so it feels like the shape is very fitting for my core self! IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 05:14 PM
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Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 05:14 PM
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Swift Freeze
Moderator Posts: 619
From: One World
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted June 02, 2014 05:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
I'm not sure if this belongs under this topic or maybe under the health and healing?
It's beautiful. If you're unsure which forum, For Yellow Wax And The Ants is a forum dedicated to creativity and expression. ------------------
Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams. IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 07:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Astro keen:
Gabby, This is amazing. It encapsulates the deepest dilemmas and pain which many women undergo. You've nailed it.I really like the way you show the transition from co-dependent (that word probably did not exist when you wrote this) to a women who found herself.
Your right, I had no idea what being co-dependent meant at that time!
All I knew is something inside me woke up one day and absolutely hated the "wimpy" part of me that allowed everyone to hurt me without any consequences.
For years I had been trying to work with these 2 parts of me and figure out what happened that suddenly created this kind of split in me....the split happened when I was 27, I was 32 when I decided to sit down and try to decipher what each side meant, how it operated and what it wanted.
What's funny is I have all these poems I wrote as a teenager about lost love and someone I was always reaching for but they were never there.
Poems about searching for someone who had abandoned me and left me alone to try to survive without them.
I never put it together until I wrote this....these 2 parts of me where trying to communicate and reconnect through my poems! They had disconnected, what's interesting is I have an unaspected virgo moon in 12th and my gem mars only has 1 aspect to it, it's an out of sign 5 degree trine to scorpio Uranus, but my mars is retrograde, so the aspect is separating so I think my mars is pretty much unaspected also!
If so it does kind of makes sense because my heart and my ability to defend myself do not connect with the rest of me, or each other! So feeling them both at the same time would be hard, n make you feel crazy, they felt like 2 separate energies, neither connected to the rest of me and both hating each other because they wanted completely different things.
I had stopped loving myself, and protecting myself...so one side of me was begging to be protected while the other side was becoming harder n harder because I refused to love myself and only gave love energy out....never getting any back or even trying to.
Some poems are sickening romantic and neptunian while others are dark and hard to read, plutonian and very angry for what had happened.
After awhile of working on this stuff I started to remember new things from my childhood...and eventually remembered the day my ability to analyze and think for myself disappeared. Everything after that day was like I became stupefied, completely mindless following anything anyone said without a single thought to how it would affect me.
I had to put away my ability to defend myself because my step father could see if my little mind was questioning his word and I paid for it...so it was the only way to protect myself.
I think what woke back up was the vigilant part of me, my in-house protector, my ability to think for myself and fight for my needs. IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 08:13 PM
Looking at my progressions for that time, I was having my Saturn return!
A lot of other things going on to!IP: Logged |
Sibyl
Knowflake Posts: 867
From: Uranus
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 02, 2014 08:21 PM
I love it Gabby, it is really touching. All we really want is someone who can accept our pain. IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 08:52 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Sibyl:
I love it Gabby, it is really touching. All we really want is someone who can accept our pain.
Thank you!! It's so true, all we want is someone who loves us enough to accept our pain and be tender with us when they get close our wounds. We can heal through their love, empathy and compassion, if they allow it. IP: Logged |
Barbiegirl19
Knowflake Posts: 4038
From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted June 02, 2014 09:04 PM
I love it Gabby!! Sooo beautiful spoke so many volumes to my soul.  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 55733
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 02, 2014 09:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Sibyl:
I love it Gabby, it is really touching. All we really want is someone who can accept our pain.
Well said, S! ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 09:39 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
I love it Gabby!! Sooo beautiful spoke so many volumes to my soul.
Awe, thank you Barbiegirl!  IP: Logged |
Barbiegirl19
Knowflake Posts: 4038
From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted June 02, 2014 09:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
Awe, thank you Barbiegirl!
You're welcome sweetheart. Who wouldn't want a woman like you!! Your mind is amazing Do you still write? IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 10:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
You're welcome sweetheart. Who wouldn't want a woman like you!! Your mind is amazing Do you still write?
Yes I do still write...it how I release my most intense emotions. Thankfully my poems get happier every year, whew! Lol IP: Logged |
Barbiegirl19
Knowflake Posts: 4038
From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted June 02, 2014 10:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
Yes I do still write...it how I release my most intense emotions. Thankfully my poems get happier every year, whew! Lol
Keep it up girly! I write too. Not poems but just about whatever pops into my head and it's the best thing you can do when your mind never shuts up lol. Best therapy! IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 02, 2014 11:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
Keep it up girly! I write too. Not poems but just about whatever pops into my head and it's the best thing you can do when your mind never shuts up lol. Best therapy!
That is so true..I love writing, it's so therapeutic. I doubt I would be sane if it wasn't for writing, lol!
But...I'm not saying I'm sane, can't claim that with 100% certainty....it's always up for debate!! I think sanity is overrated anyway, it's more for the boring ppl! Lol IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 8462
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 05, 2014 05:37 AM
Amazing, Gabby!------------------
Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma. Linda Goodman IP: Logged |
Gabby
Moderator Posts: 4025
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 05, 2014 10:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by charmainec:
Amazing, Gabby!
Awe, your sweet! Thank you! 
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Lindaland
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