posted August 06, 2014 07:37 AM            

You are 19, right?

You haven't even lived a quarter of your potential life. There is so much of the world to see, there are so many things to do, there are so many people to meet. Do you really want to throw away such an opportunity?
All the countries and cultures you could visit, all the books, films, tv to digest. All the causes to get interested in, all the people to find out about, all the activities to try, all the music to listen to, food to eat, drinks to taste, sunsets and sunrises to see, laughs to be shared, tears to be hugged away.

Life is tough.

It may or may not get easier, that depends on how much you help yourself. It is not a free ride, no one is going to put you on their back and carry you through, so step up and make your own way.

You are worried about your current boyfriend. I know nothing about either of you or your relationship but considering you are 19, you may not have even found out who you really are, or what you really want. I don't know how many relationships you have had. It may very well be that this current relationship has stagnated you. Are you growing as a person within this relationship?

These feelings of pain, if they are linked to this relationship ending, maybe you should reflect on why that upsets you so much. From what little I understand, I would imagine that you don't think you are particularly worthy of love, have a low opinion of yourself and therefore don't think that anyone else would ever care about you. If that is true, then perhaps this relationship is a lie, you're holding on to him, because in your mind he provides you validation on your self worth, whether he actually does or not. This validation should really be coming from yourself and not him.

My point is, he is not making you feel this way. You are responsible for how you feel.

This will almost certainly come across as tough, but think of the millions of people, throughout history and now who are going through the same thing you are, all those who have coped and continue to cope.

I have had some troubled times in my life, and I bet there are plenty more to come.

The most important thing to remember, is that feelings are temporary. Don't do anything in a rush, give yourself 24 hours and sleep on it. Seek someone you can talk to, a family member, a friend, maybe even professional support.

posted August 06, 2014 10:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by whitewitch111:
....I think my boyfriend loves another woman... My cards say it and everyone else's does...I hate life..if its true I will kill myself..because no one will ever love me as much as he did! :'(

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I'm sorry, WW111. Please know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It may sound cliche, but it's entirely true. I have BPD, and when my condition was at its worst, I felt like you. If I suspected a lover or friend was 'abandoning' me or liked someone better than me, I felt suicidal and/or insane and would go on emotional tirades either to them or to my family members. It's embarrassing to think about, honestly. Romance was my and can still be my achilles heel, too. I'm still not perfect in this area, but the skills of mindfulness (from DBT) and digging deep within yourself to discover the true root of your motivations to want to rage, end your life, etc. is the key to healing, as I've discovered...and it's helped me improve. So there's hope. If you really feel suicidal over this, you need to examine yourself in a calm manner and try to reason with yourself about why suicide seems like the answer to any kind of problem, whether its an issue with a lover or hating your life. Suicide is an action you can take to change your life (in this case, by ending it). But other actions exist that can empower you and free you from the bonds of your pain. If you feel your life is not worth living and you deserve to kill yourself, I suspect you might have serious issues with self-worth. No one deserves to be punished in such a manner - everyone deserves happiness and you CAN improve your life without escaping it by choosing suicide or self-destructive but non-fatal behaviors. And, more important, it's extremely vital to realize that happiness comes from within YOU, not from another person or that person loving you.

Perhaps you have invested too great of an emotional, physical, financial, etc. security in this person. Perhaps you had a difficult early life and need to find fulfillment in someone else's love, because you don't love or care for yourself. There are so many reasons I can hypothesize as to why you may be feeling this way, however, only you know yourself the best out of everyone here. Try to rationalize, maybe even write down your thoughts about the heart of the matter for better clarity. If your boyfriend is seeing someone else behind your back, what does that say about him? If your boyfriend has fallen out of love with you, why does that automatically make you destined to be alone, never loved by someone in as fulfilling of a way ever again? Can you love yourself and feel happy if you're alone, why or why not? These are key questions to ask yourself and the beginning stages of the healing process. I recommend talking to a therapist about this if it seems appropriate to you. I just sense an intense inner pain from you about life in general, and it may help.

posted August 07, 2014 09:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
I'm sorry, WW111. Please know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It may sound cliche, but it's entirely true. I have BPD, and when my condition was at its worst, I felt like you. If I suspected a lover or friend was 'abandoning' me or liked someone better than me, I felt suicidal and/or insane and would go on emotional tirades either to them or to my family members. It's embarrassing to think about, honestly. Romance was my and can still be my achilles heel, too. I'm still not perfect in this area, but the skills of mindfulness (from DBT) and digging deep within yourself to discover the true root of your motivations to want to rage, end your life, etc. is the key to healing, as I've discovered...and it's helped me improve. So there's hope. If you really feel suicidal over this, you need to examine yourself in a calm manner and try to reason with yourself about why suicide seems like the answer to any kind of problem, whether its an issue with a lover or hating your life. Suicide is an action you can take to change your life (in this case, by ending it). But other actions exist that can empower you and free you from the bonds of your pain. If you feel your life is not worth living and you deserve to kill yourself, I suspect you might have serious issues with self-worth. No one deserves to be punished in such a manner - everyone deserves happiness and you CAN improve your life without escaping it by choosing suicide or self-destructive but non-fatal behaviors. And, more important, it's extremely vital to realize that happiness comes from within YOU, not from another person or that person loving you.

Perhaps you have invested too great of an emotional, physical, financial, etc. security in this person. Perhaps you had a difficult early life and need to find fulfillment in someone else's love, because you don't love or care for yourself. There are so many reasons I can hypothesize as to why you may be feeling this way, however, only you know yourself the best out of everyone here. Try to rationalize, maybe even write down your thoughts about the heart of the matter for better clarity. If your boyfriend is seeing someone else behind your back, what does that say about him? If your boyfriend has fallen out of love with you, why does that automatically make you destined to be alone, never loved by someone in as fulfilling of a way ever again? Can you love yourself and feel happy if you're alone, why or why not? These are key questions to ask yourself and the beginning stages of the healing process. I recommend talking to a therapist about this if it seems appropriate to you. I just sense an intense inner pain from you about life in general, and it may help.

If you feel like you want to hurt yourself, contact the Suicide Hotline at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. I hope this does not seem overly cautious to anyone, but when someone even mentions suicide, I am alert and concerned because I have lost someone in my life to suicide. It's extremely painful for all parties involved, and I don't want you to be victim to your feelings if they become too intense, WW111. Blessings and good luck.

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It was all in my head...I hate this disease... but thank you can we talk sometime maybe? Its nice to know another person with BPD who's not totally off the deep end with it...

posted August 07, 2014 09:08 PM            

Keep talking on here

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posted August 07, 2014 09:17 PM            

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted August 07, 2014 10:04 PM            

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted August 08, 2014 11:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by whitewitch111:
You're such a sweety Amy 'hugd'

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Hugs right back, WW. You are such a sweetie, too

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted August 08, 2014 02:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by whitewitch111:

It was all in my head...I hate this disease... but thank you can we talk sometime maybe? Its nice to know another person with BPD who's not totally off the deep end with it...

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posted August 08, 2014 02:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Thanks for what you shared, SS. You are a true, sweet angel

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posted August 08, 2014 05:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by whitewitch111:

It was all in my head...I hate this disease... but thank you can we talk sometime maybe? Its nice to know another person with BPD who's not totally off the deep end with it...

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Hey Whitewitch,

I just want to chime in to affirm that BPD can be managed.

Don't believe the hopelessness many so-called professionals express about its prognosis.

You can manage it.

I used psychology, but the path is different for everyone.

After 18mths of weekly therapy with a person-centred psychologist, I no longer meet the criteria for BPD.

posted August 09, 2014 08:37 AM            

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posted August 13, 2014 11:31 AM            

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.