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Author
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Topic: I have a conundrum
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charlie
Knowflake Posts: 2613
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted November 12, 2014 02:13 PM
  
and that is this: The past few years I wished for 3 things. 1: a man that is able and willing to put up with my bs WITHOUT trying to father me into submission. 2: a job that makes me want to aim higher and makes me think which is important to me. 3: a child-preferably a son. None of this I got during my 18 years in USA for many reasons but since I believe everything happens for a reason I guess it wasn't my time then. 6 months after having faced my biggest fears and moved back home to Europe I got nr 1 and 2. GREAT! As it also happened nr 1 has a daughter that is in need of some mothering (the good kind) and that would have given me nr 3 as well, had I seen it that way but, she is not mine and I can't get over the fact that she will never be. I had a very bad miscarriage when I was 18 (not sure I can get pregnant again and I am getting older) and never really got over it. Does anyone understand me or am I a fool for thinking Universe hasn't given me all I wanted? You can be honest thinking I am insane. IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 599
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted November 12, 2014 05:10 PM
I don't think your insane. I'm surprised at how well some people get over not having some urge fulfilled.My grandma has a kind of old wives saying that being around children makes someone more likely to conceive and I have seen this. So the more you bond with your step daughter I would not be surprised if that helps. My step mum had troubles with miscarriage etc and she paid the most expensive Dr in England, a fertility expert, to treat her. One of the major components of this was she had to visualize having a child whilst listening to a tape. I don't want to overstep the mark but it always surprises me how key this was even to a scientific person. IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 9004
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted November 12, 2014 06:21 PM
I did a fasting cleanse to reverse infertility...my progressed composite with my husband turned favorable at the same time (though I didn't know it ~ I wasn't into real astrology back then.) But I spent a few years thinking I would only have one child.Now that I've had children I can see how easy it would have been for me to adopt and take another child as my son or daughter. Can you adopt, charlie? I know what you mean about feeling like you need to have a son. There have been times in my life that I've known with absolute certainty that I wanted something, and most times, I got it (Law of Attraction?) but still, there are some things on that list that I suspect I may never get (like staying at an ashram in India) and it's a heartache to consider that. Like an unfulfilled call of destiny. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 10159
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 12, 2014 11:34 PM
Charlie,
IMO sometimes we think we want something but then we see that the grass ain't always greener on the other side. You undoubtedly saw some of my posts in the past lamenting my singleness. But here lately I have come to realize that being single might be a blessing. The reason being is 3 of my close friends are married or in serious relationships with women and they are miserable. One of my friends is so tied up by his relationship that he has zero time for hanging with the guys. I haven't seen him in 2 years. The only way I keep up with him is through his brother and he tells me he sometimes goes a month or more without calling him! My friend's wife is completely neurotic and has tons of issues and he had a psychotic breakdown last year between dealing with her issues and stress at work. I have seen other things that have led me to my current feelings on romantic relationships but I won't bore ya'll with all of the details. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 47133
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 28, 2014 09:20 PM
 IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 47133
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 01, 2014 09:10 PM
Have things improved?IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 2613
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted December 02, 2014 02:21 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Have things improved?
Honestly, I feel indifferent towards the daughter most of the time. No feelings. Or they must be deeply hidden behind layers of concrete :-/ Sad thing is that I am not that cold!! She is just not mine.. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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