posted January 07, 2013 07:55 AM
My Ceres conjunct Venus and Sun, is also square Saturn (Saturn squares Venus, but not Sun) and I can definitely identify with your struggle. I think the key for me with Ceres, was comprehending the part of Ceres which affords us "skills" for nourishing others. I have difficulty being affectionate toward others, but Ceres does not necessarily have to be affectionate in order to nourish. I find a lot of fulfillment in sharing experiences and skills (Ceres in Sag 8th House). I get that feeling of fulfillment when the rules of a relationship involve learning and spiritual transformation.
Part of Ceres's energy has to do with feeling like we "belong", and utilizing the skills she offers us can generate that feeling for us. When we feel like we belong, the feeling of safety arises and that can cause Saturn to lighten up.
Libra Ceres in the 4th has lots of great skills to pick from. Art that touches people deeply, the ability to relate with other people's memories and emotional foundations, the ability to generate a nonthreatening approach to people and gain access to their personal space, the ability to create personal spaces where people can come and relate, interior design, a general ability to respect other people's humanity and validate their past experiences, etc... With an Aquarian Venus 8th House, your uniqueness (a facet of your personality which Saturn may perceive as oddness or weirdness) may leave a lasting impression on people. Ceres can make that impression a very positive one.
Having respect for others is a beautiful gift which is as equally prized as affection. Ceres is sextile your Mercury, so all it should take is listening to your gut about when to open your ears or your mouth.
PS: Tell Saturn to suck it. He acts big and scary, but that's just his job.