posted July 09, 2019 03:53 PM            

So, I checked the location in my chart and found it almost exactly conjunct my Vesta (as well as Bellona, Soromundi, Truth) and by declination very closely parallel to my Sun. Don't know that I feel very damaged or injured in these facets of life, I'll have to think about it, but I thought I'd share in case anyone finds it significant. Maybe it can be used in synastry or transit?

posted July 12, 2019 11:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by athenegoddess:
Mine is at 9 Virgo conjunct Lilith at 6 Virgo sextile Sun 8 Cancer and trine Moon/Neptune at 8 Capricorn. Its also sextile Pluto. I'm being raped for my health energy.

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posted July 12, 2019 05:27 PM            

^ uhhhhhhh-- in a weird kind of way, that's a very very loose yet somewhat correct answer for Athenegoddess.

Her "9-11 Jesus" thread got locked WHILE I was composing a careful answer for her. Spent a LOT of time creating that post, which was poofed. (sorry AG). I would have put this response in THAT thread.
REF - http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum28/HTML/004905.html

(I was adding more 'asteroid-content' there, while I composed, too. *poofed*)

Since AG's dilemma is 'based' on religion, and the language and context used incorporates religious belief-system rules?, then, religion-wise, "surrendering" is the answer-- but surrendering to 'whom' is the concern.

What I was saying (before I got *poofed*) is that victims of sex-abuse (and narrow-religious dogma), can have the experience of having "projected" a different face ONTO the body of the perp.

I had been in groups of women who had been sexually abused. There was one woman who kept seeing the 'face of her Father' on the perp-body that was raping/attacking her during her very young childhood years.

Winds up that it was NOT her dad.

My input was that the Father's Face was 'imposed/projected' ONTO the perp, because 'in a vulnerable child's mind' the Father was "NEEDED" as her "hero!!" It was her mind's way of asking Daddy to HELP her, to HELP SAVE her from what was happening to her body. *tears*

There is such a thing also, as spirits, demonic-intended spirits, that can "attach" themselves TO the astral-soul experience. Some of these can 'give' the surprise sense as though a rape/sex-stim is happening (incubus?). Some experience this in the twilight-conscious zones between awake and asleep. I can imagine too, that if a person is having problems telling the difference between states of reality, that this would ALSO 'play-into' the demonic-thoughtform realms, where they 'confuse' the victim they are using as a "parasite".

"Lying spirits" … Deceiving spirits.
These can "project" a false-mask upon the face of perps.

ADD-- It is known by law-enforcement individuals who have done detective work, that individuals who are Ritual-Abuse perps, have been known to wear "masks" of super-heroes, (including religion), to 'confuse' law enforcement, doctors, teachers and parents, when the child is asked 'who did this to you?', and their answer is Superman, Batman, (Jesus), etc.
The masks were worn deliberately to evade being properly identified. Could have even been a relative.

Okay!! That was all "RELIGION"-based Talk.
AG obviously has had a Christian background, and received Wounding somewhere along the lines of this.

The way 'through' to a solution for that, may be based ON the belief-system that she is cultured from. Her being able to 'cry out to JESUS' for help, as her HERO, may play an important role in her becoming Free from harassing demonic-based spirits.

The vision of the Face of Jesus on the rapist, is like the example I gave about the woman who saw the False-Image of her FATHER's face on the perp who was raping her (for a long period of time).

WITH her Christian background, she can 'inside her self' inside her deep soul, access her Help in the form of crying-out to JESUS.

Also, that she would continue under her doctor's care (chemically?).

Calling a church prayer center, where they PRAY for the person who calls-- putting these under a "prayer Covering" for a month at a time, could also be beneficial.

Her staying away from curious dabbling in the 'darker-occult' for a while, would also help starve the 'attached-entity' that is energetically "using" her.

I would wish for AG to have some GOOD religious counseling for a bit (hopefully NOT so harsh-NARROW dogmatics), who could 'pray' with her, and be a phone-call away for her in time of need.

Other than that.... Follow her doctor's recommendations. This 'could' mean cutting out all religion? … but, I would think that would also not be correct, and be a hazard.

She needs Good and CORRECT Prayer Partners, and patient Counselors, to see her through.

If this is chemically-based, even more important that she has proper Team Support.

--
Thanks for allowing the *interrupt* Nadja! haha.
Sometimes!, this happens at LL.
You're relatively new here.

WE are a Family at LL -- with lots of Caring people looking out for others.
_____________________________

My Vauriot is Cancer.. in H7gem, conjunct asteroid Groom! trine Juno Scorp, if that means anything?
In my second marriage, I 'found out' on the wedding night (Groom), that I married someone who had hidden 'who' he truly was. I was a trophy-wife. I remember how his personality changed on the wedding night. I felt severe emotional pain (like a sword piercing-through and breaking my heart).
Being a single-person can be hard?
Being a married person 'stuck' in a wrong-relationship is some of the most 'grievous alone-pain' that a woman can feel.

I supposed it's the same with any partner-commitment-- where you find out that what you 'thought' you were getting, was an illusion (either yours {mistake}, or, it was done on purpose {trick, deception}.

posted July 13, 2019 10:52 PM            

But now I just stay away from all relationships. period.
Will never do that again. ever.

posted July 19, 2019 04:55 PM            

Vauriot has a 2-degree orb with Karma (3811). I have a theory that I committed suicide in a past life and that's why my current lifetime started out in the way it did. It's basically just picking up where I left off with issues I failed to learn in one or more past lives. Conjunct Karma, this aspect could mean that one day someone close to me commits suicide. While it's just a theory and I can't confirm this for sure, suicide is a very sensitive topic and for good reason. Whenever someone ends their life, their loved ones have to grieve and struggle with the emotional pain of an irreversible loss. The "karma" part of this would be feeling the same pain I inflicted on others in a past life.

When she's in a good mood, my sister can be really sweet and caring. Unfortunately, earlier this year, my sister was diagnosed with Major Depression. Even though she's adopted, she's somehow still a merge of my brother's issues, my issues, and her own issues. I think my brother began to keep his temper in check after learning what it's like to be screamed at, but my sister is worse than him. I believe she'd follow through with some of her threats and that's what terrifies me. She's threatened to kill herself and she's also threatened to call the police on our mom. Mom has been doing everything she can to get my sister the professional help she needs and to be a good parent for my sister, but she has already dropped red flags that her behavior could escalate during her teenage years and early adulthood. The main one is she has Reactive Attachment Disorder and, paired with a dignosis of Major Depression, I'm hoping she doesn't become a huge problem.

posted July 19, 2019 06:52 PM            

Since you believe in past-lives, then you must also know that there IS a resolve in your soul to get through all this. No matter what is going on with others that are close to you. Gently, so gently, see this as a test. You are 'able' to strengthen you resolve, and to pull-through.

And yes, our imaginations can't help rehearsing the 'what-ifs' and feeling the emotions which are involved.

The situation with your sister (with the parent(s), teachers, etc) seems outside of your own control.

Coping device.
The 'sense of control' you are using is your theory on asteroid Karma-- Taking on the responsibility-- like, you deserved this in some way-- that you deserve punishment for past-sins, for your 'guilt'. Some higher spiritual force is making you 'pay'? ??? The method of blaming your own self is one of the ways that people under whelming stress (and trauma), gains "some sense of control" in the situation. Of your own self.

Here's "another" what-if, okay?
What-if you sister pulls THROUGH this, like YOU did. YOU are still alive, in spite of what you went through before.

Your sister is younger--- this is HER turn to be an overcomer. Trust your parents, trust the school and 'help' system. Trust that there is "some tiny part or spark in her" that STILL wants to overcome her emotions.

Her dropping *Red Flags* MEANS that she IS asking for help. That's really really good.

In a way, she knows what she's doing.
She's threatening cops on your mom.
I know that this kind of threat must hurt her dignity as a mother.
TRUST that other outside authority (and other people she knows and confides in) are on alert (just as 'you' saw the flags).

You might not be aware if your sister 'senses' you or not? But as a sibling, YOU are important to her (adopted or NOT). Maintaining your self, and feeling your own feelings, she might pick up 'clues' from you. On an subliminal level, this is going to may an impress with her.

Be patient and gentle with your self.
{{If I were with you, I'd be there STRONG for you. BE a presence. Cry if you need to. I know you're a writer, and probably capturing MANY thoughts and feelings about this. .. Maybe some years from now, you'll publish some of the work you capture while you move through this.}}

posted July 20, 2019 01:09 AM            

Later in this post, I mentioned calling someone about getting a full psychological evaluation and she wants to do a more basic evaluation beforehand just to get more details about how I'm functioning. In stereotypical Gemini Moon fashion, I was telling Mirage about my concerns and then realized how off-topic my response was, so I decided to do a synastry comparison between the event chart of my appointment and my natal chart with Vauriot included.

On August 5th at 2 PM, transiting Vauriot in Gemini is in minor aspect to my natal Vauriot. It's also making a semi-square with my Mercury in Aries, the planet of communication, and, at 7 degrees in Gemini, transiting Vauriot is conjunct my Sun/Moon midpoint. Mercury in Cancer makes an exact trine to my Ascendant. If I recall correctly, many Cancers have a good memory, so I hope that this trine is a good sign. The Moon is also in Libra at this hour. Maybe this means the appointment is more pleasant than expected.

The transit chart's synastry with my natal chart is actually pretty accurate when it comes to the focus of the appointment. I've had trouble enjoying things and my quality of life has suffered as a result (Venus in Taurus in 6th house and Uranus is currently conjunct my Venus by transit), the transits to Mercury are suggesting my troubles communicating with people and with my mental health, and Moon in Libra and Mercury in Cancer reflect my focus on being sure the appointment goes as well as possible and I don't forget anything important that needs to be said. The exact trine from Mercury to my Ascendant hopefully means that day is one of my better ones in terms of my interactions with other people.

Vauriot itself suggests how much damage and harm has been done to my ability to experience fulfilling happiness and meaningful human connections by being in Gemini and conjunct my Moon/Sun midpoint. Issues with communication are emphasized greatly.

As a side note, the "additional tables" page on astro shows Uranus in Taurus as being Stationary Retrograde on this date. Uranus being Stationary Retrograde could indicate some kind of turning point with my overall health and I enter the early stages of making progress with my problem around the time it turns Retrograde.

----

The response I gave Mirage calms down a bit toward the end. The basic tl;dr is Saturn and Pluto are in Capricorn and square my Mercury in Aries. Saturn is Retrograde right now, which is giving me temporary relief before it turns Direct again and Saturn and Pluto build up to their 2020 conjunction in January. Their 2020 conjunction is square my Mercury in Aries too and I'm hoping my mental health is better by that point. Based on this paragraph, I'm going through a lot, but I know it'll pass and I will be fine. However, with the present in mind, this post is left unedited and as is.

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quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Here's "another" what-if, okay?
What-if you sister pulls THROUGH this, like YOU did. YOU are still alive, in spite of what you went through before.

---

quote:

---

You might not be aware if your sister 'senses' you or not? But as a sibling, YOU are important to her (adopted or NOT). Maintaining your self, and feeling your own feelings, she might pick up 'clues' from you. On an subliminal level, this is going to may an impress with her.

---

I'm not as worried about my sister as I am about myself right now. She's still a minor under our parents' care. Me? I'm an adult. I'm expected to be capable of getting help on my own without my parents needing to be around.

When I called someone about wanting to get a full psychological evaluation, my mental state fell from, "I'm going to get help" to, "What if the system prevents me from getting help?" The woman on the phone mentioned that my insurance company might not cover a full evaluation and I can't be sure that my problem is "bad enough" for my insurance company to cover it, because whatever is going on with me is affecting how I can communicate with other people. It's making me fall into constant confusion over the dumbest things, but I need to know what's going on. I need to do something. My quality of life has been affected by my inability to get relief from all this overwhelming stress that won't budge.

Since I don't know what my problem is, I'm desperate. The way I'm functioning doesn't match my current situation either. I've been trying to eliminate sources of stress from my life to calm down, get relief, and recover and my stress only keeps getting worse and my irritability keeps escalating. It has become very apparent that I need professional help to know how to address this and to figure out what's going on, but if nothing is actually wrong and if no one finds anything at all, I don't know what I'll do. My behavior is very odd. I'm not exactly able to remove anything else from my life and I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me.

I've already been put on medication for anxiety and it's working as intended. I don't think increasing its dose would help, because my medication is treating whatever symptoms are from my anxiety disorder.

The problem itself seems to be mental fatigue and exhaustion. When Saturn was conjunct Pluto in Capricorn earlier this year, it became very clear to me that something is wrong and I was doing just fine until Saturn showed up as a second square to my Mercury in Aries. Saturn is mostly just pushing me to do something about this. I'm just surprised that my stress levels don't seem to be budged at all by being on a medication for anxiety and I still seem to be freaking out and worrying about things, which I relate more to mental fatigue than anxiety.

There's just one issue. If mental fatigue is the problem, how come after all my efforts to eliminate sources of stress and take it easy for awhile, nothing has budged? My mental fatigue symptoms are worsening instead and that's very strange. I think my chronic procrastination issues are playing a part in this, but I'm always physically tired and worn out from all the mental fatigue that I can't will myself to overcome procrastination in the state my health is in now. The mental fatigue is probably also messing with my sleep quality.

I'm conflicted like this, because I can't tell what the source is. Is it psychological, a physical issue with my brain, or a spiritual thing? I'm building up to a Kundalini awakening and I've noticed that my mental health seems to worsen at night or when my crown chakra is heavily stimulated by Kundalini activity. It could be an ego-related issue and I wouldn't be surprised if, indeed, no one finds anything wrong with me.

My big problem here is I'm all over the place. I'm extra Gemini Moon in recent months, honestly. My moods change at a frequency amount of what feels like every 10 minutes. I assume the squares to Mercury are affecting my Gemini Moon, because Mercury rules Gemini. The "extra Gemini Moon" is just classic Pluto extremes.

One minute I'm okay. The next minute I'm panicking then 5 minutes later, I need something to eat and I'm about to watch a YouTube video.

Overall, I'm sure everything will be fine. I'll get through it, but Saturn and Pluto are not done being conjunct each other and I'm extra sensitive to transits from Saturn and Pluto. Them both being square my Mercury at around the same time just means even more hardship and extremes.

Regardless, no matter how much I freak out, once I've calmed down, I still know my situation won't be like this forever. This doesn't change my concerns about the system though. The healthcare system in the US is terrible and I don't know if it'll be any help.

posted July 20, 2019 12:46 PM            

This was a VERY long post, that I have now cropped down to 'the essential' ..

AT this time, your later-degree Gemini Moon
has transiting asteroid Phaethon on top of it, going retrograde.

3200 Phaeton .. can signify a sense of things being "out-of-control" (panic), and that care is required to maintain control, in order to guide or steer through this energy-phenomena.
- http://markandrewholmes.com/phaethon.html

Maybe you'll feel LESS panicked later as Phaeton clears the effects of its transit to your Gemini Moon?
{Hope so!}

You've got Neptune r conjunct Uranus r in Capricorn. These are being transited by Saturn and Pluto right now.
.. If you have Robert Hand's Planets in Transit, you might want to 'read' about this longer-transit. This energy connection can bring anxiety. Please read about it.
"This too shall pass"..

Take super-good Care of yourself.

Good luck on your counseling appointment in August.

________________________
ADD ..
Debra Silverman is a Psychotherapist and Astrology teacher. She has trained other counselors, and has a list of psychotherapists.
She's on youtube.
If you can afford one, you could get a consultation with her, or with someone she has trained (trainee would be at discounted price??!).

Why not use your astrology to help you find out 'what is wrong'(as you put it), at this time ?

Certainly, any student of astrology would benefit from having a certified high-quality astrologer do their chart-- You can learn about your self, AND, the personal experience of chart-delineation would also help you in learning how to approach telling other folks about their charts.

She's been in the business for YEARS-- but uhm, I don't want you to think she is 'ancient'??? LOL. She's deep and ancient in 'other' ways.

Again, Good Luck to you.
{{omg, I've got to take a break now.. I've edited this too many times.}}

posted July 20, 2019 06:43 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
Speaking about Lerena's post.
I don't have her chart data, so, I have some approximated information from a synastry chart she left in another thread.

---

Your response resonated with me. The treatment of mental health in the United States needs drastic improvements, because it's responsible for some of my problems, and, while the system isn't to blame for everything I'm experiencing, it's definitely complicating my ability to recover. Earth as a whole needs more compassion, kindness, and understanding and less emphasis on money and greed. We also need more people that want to improve living conditions for everyone, not just a select few.

As a kid, I grew up believing that the rest of the planet hates the United States. This was probably not true, but I still know that I never felt proud to be American. Yes, our country is far from the worst place to live and we do have modern luxuries. However, the healthcare system isn't my only problem with this country. There are many other things wrong with it that I'm equally as critical of.

posted July 20, 2019 08:09 PM            

Would have left it up, had I known you read it with indications you would respond later. I don't delete or change 'content' on acknowledged posts. Maybe tweak for clarity, but won't change the context.

Thank you for that well-written summary.

Thought that the content pertaining to your natal chart would get lost in the details of my editorial. haha

Yes, Lerena. I'd love the 'corrected' copy of your chart. Thanks.
If you post it here, either by link or image, I'll be able to make a copy. (You can delete it afterwards if you wish.)

posted July 21, 2019 12:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
I'm glad you read my original posted response to you. It wound up being very very long, and harder to read? Some folks don't like to read the longer threads.

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quote:

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Do an ephemeris (at astro com) for Phaeton-- Watch how long it takes to clear the conjunction with your Moon.

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quote:

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Yes, Lerena. I'd love the 'corrected' copy of your chart. Thanks.
If you post it here, either by link or image, I'll be able to make a copy. (You can delete it afterwards if you wish.)

---

posted July 21, 2019 01:35 AM            

Some asteroids can seem to play more prominently in individual's charts. So, where's your natal Phaeton?

posted July 21, 2019 12:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Some asteroids can seem to play more prominently in individual's charts. So, where's your natal Phaeton?

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The aspects listed on astro:
Moon sextile Phaethon - orb of 1 degree
Mars semi-sextile Phaethon - orb of 1 degree
Saturn quintile Phaethon - orb of 1 degree
True North Node in Capricorn trine Phaethon - orb of 2 degrees
Mean North Node in Capricorn trine Phaethon - orb of 4 degrees
Chiron square Phaethon - orb of 5 degrees
Phaethon trine Midheaven - orb of 5 degrees

posted July 22, 2019 03:34 PM            

Here's a cute theatrical version about the mythology of Phaeton. Scene acted by some older teenage boys.

(topic) The Story of Phaeton (by Graham D, March 2018) [3:01] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYxLrkbevgw

{In short-- Phaeton got a chance to drive his dad's, Apollo's, chariot(TheSun). Being as yet 'inexperienced' with managing the reins, he lost control of his horse-- and the chariot (The Sun's path) wavered to extremes (away from the middle of set-path of norms) through the sky. This caused things on land to catch on fire as he got too close-- then in overcompensating, went TOO far away which brought freezing temps. Chariot and rider were out of control, and Zeus zapped him.}

Saturn Quintile Phaeton ..
that's an inborn adaptive creative gift for finding 'control and discipline' around events and energies that appear to have gone outside the sense of being in control of it??

Rudhyar Sabian .. (whole degree)
29+ Aries, round up to whole degree = 30 Aries.
quote
PHASE 30 (ARIES 30°): A DUCK POND AND ITS BROOD.
KEYNOTE: The realization of natural boundaries.

After the preceding symbol this may seem anticlimactic.
What is shown here is that every form of activity has its limits,
and that even the consciousness that has been able to get a glimpse of universal order has to bring down to its own "karmic" field of operation the message of harmony it has heard inwardly.
Peace and inner contentment with one's essential destiny (dharma) is required to meet the everyday world.
The mystic may experience flights of imagination and transcendent vision, but he must return to the concrete earth and to his task in his social environment.
Extensive as the latter may seem, it is still very small compared to the galactic field;
it is indeed a duck pond compared to the ocean.
But it is there that the substance for concrete action has to be found, and every effective activity has to be focused;
thus the boundaries imposed by the very nature of this activity have to be consciously accepted.

This is the last stage in the last five-fold sequence related to the second scene, characterized by "Potency."
It leads to the third scene,
whose Keyword is "Substantiation."
Potency has to become substantiated - it has to mate with substance - in order to be effective power.
Power must accept the principle of FOCALIZATION.

- http://www.mindfire.ca/An%20Astrological%20Mandala/An%20Astrological%20Mand ala%20-%20Aries16-30.htm

(music) High Flight, poem by Gillespie Magee (words on screen, instrumental) [2:27] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNuqI8DpbBE

posted August 31, 2019 01:52 PM            

In declinations there's a parallel though
Vaurio t   28°42'55" S
Melusina  28°47'13" S
.
I'm trying to parse some kind of meaning from it all.
- I get the purity lost, so true! Hope challenged perhaps as well.