posted April 03, 2023 02:11 PM            

I discovered in my natal chart, I have sado conjunct Capricorn Venus in the 4th house. Venus squares Chiron(1st) and Venus opposes Lilith (10th). I have never had the best luck in relationships, but I used to blame that on my saturn conjunct my DSC and Chiron square Venus. But these things, can be improved, transformed and worked on. Now with sado in the mix, and from what I’ve read about it, am I doomed to always getting in these sado type relationships?

With my ex mentioned above, I can’t say I was the only victim. It took me a while to realize what was happening was wrong. (Him ignoring my safe word many times). But when I did, I still didn’t want to let go. I wanted more than anything for him to not want to hurt me physically during sex, but that was an impossible request. When I brought up him listening to my safe word, or trying sex that wasn’t CNC, he’d say I was kink shaming him. Time after time my boundaries were crossed. We were just so wrong for each other but I couldn’t let go. I became controlling and jealous. When I finally let go and ended things, he called me a narcissist and abusive.

There were a lot of good things about us too, which is why it was so difficult to separate from him but it was the best thing for both of us.

My ex before him, I cheated on. I wanted to make things work, he wanted to try. He kept me on a leash for 2 years of off and on again dynamic and it was a very low point in my life. But I stuck around until I couldn’t anymore.

After my last ex and I broke up, I was doing a lot of inner work. Realizing I have a pattern in my relationships and wanting to get out of it. I wanted to stay single for a while, but I ended up meeting a man who swept me off my feet and so far has given me everything I’ve wanted in a partner. Gentle, understanding, able to fix his mistakes, able to change for the better, dedicated, and every feeling feels very reciprocated and balanced. Not to say we don’t have problems, but I feel we could overcome anything together.

We both have Pluto conjunct the others sun. Lots of great synastry. Great sexual chemistry, in the beginning it was so strong you could cut it. His Eros on my NN. His mars on my Uranus. His Venus trine my moon, my Venus trine his Saturn. Although my venus and mars are in his 12th. My sado/venus squares his venus. And he has his sado exactly conjunct my sun. Now it’s got me worrying that this will turn into the same pattern as my previous relationships. Us hurting each other. Back and forth dynamic. Idk what to make of this aspect but it put a put in my stomach when I saw it. Although this is the only relationship I’ve had where there is a sado contact in synastry.

posted April 14, 2023 09:04 PM            

For instance; BDSM. The literal meaning for Sado asteroid touching on Sadism. I would have balked at the idea when I was younger, but the older I have grown the more I realize how deeply tied in and healthy it is for me to express and seek out those themes.

Now here's the catch; in CONSENTING ways. The second that sadism is used unconsentingly, you are going to find the backlash, and it won't be enjoyable.

Sadism, along with other BDSM themes, have a great purpose when explored in safe and consenting environments. It can be incredibly empowering to tap into that energy- especially when healing from a lifetime/experiences where it was witnessed or used against us.

But yes; I can also say I have run into plenty of partners who had horrifically unchecked sadism that they refused to truly own or explore, which led to it coming out in the most abusive sort of ways.

Even my current partner, who is aware and exploring alongside me, has this asteroid prominent in their chart. It's all about owning those dark and ugly parts of ourselves so they cannot be secretly used against us. We can recognize it a mile away if we are familiar with it.