posted December 02, 2005 12:02 PM         

I am sending you LOVE and LIGHT and MAGIC
NOW...

You are so very special
look within and you
will SEE
that it's all waiting for
you, A miracle a birth
Image the Life
that you want
and it will eventually
BEcome your reality
no giving UP

there is no such thing as failure
there is such a thing
as not trying

try try try

LOVE LOVE LOVE
FORGIVE FORGIVE FORGIVE

posted December 06, 2005 10:40 AM         

Love, and whitelight,
Angeldust.

posted December 06, 2005 01:01 PM         

I'm not trying to advocate medicine. However, have you discussed this with your doctor?

posted December 06, 2005 01:10 PM         

I googled a bit and found this site.
http://www.depressionalliance.org/

Maybe something to research.

posted December 06, 2005 06:04 PM         

And of course, you can talk about just about anything here without being judged for it. It's like a big therapy center (with an *awful* color scheme!)

posted December 06, 2005 06:20 PM         

Firstly, cyber hugs to you (((((LostInStrangeWorld))))).

I hope I can bring some love and light and happiness into your world, with some important words for a special person.

Love yoursElf.

You haven't said how old your son is. I am also a single-parent. I have a daughter 10, and a son 7 and I have been on my own for almost five years.

Even when there are happy times, like when your child does something totally amazing and beautiful, you have no-one to share it with and that can be depressing in itsElf. And when it comes to disciplining a child, as a single-parent, I am always questioning whether I was too harsh or soft.

Love yoursElf.

Parenting is a very hard thing to do. Nobody teaches us how to do it. We just have to do the best we can. And, not everybody is good at it either. Single-parenting is twice as hard, as you have nobody to bounce ideas off, let alone the fact that you are on duty 24 x 7 with very little break, little time for yoursElf.

Love yoursElf.

Try not to listen to other people's opinions of whether or not you make a good mother. It's really none of their business. They are not you. They can't for a minute know how you think and feel. They don't live your life and they don't battle with your fears and anxieties.

Love yoursElf.

I also know what it's like to grow up and try to live a different life to what you did as a child. My parents divorced when I was 13 and I waited 12 years into my relationship before getting married - just to be sure I was doing the right thing, and yet, here I am, separated and waiting for my own divorce to come through.

Love yoursElf.

LostInStrangeWorld, you speak of being a loner, and I want to share with you that there is nothing wrong with that. There are lots of cyber communities (like this one) that you can come to for support. And the beauty of an international cyber community is that there is always someone on line.

Love yoursElf.

Life is about duality. What goes down must eventually come up. There are positives all around you, but they take a special heart to see. Our perspective of life can be easily coloured. Step outside your door and go and hug a tree. Take a look at some beautiful flowers and wonder in the creation that is life. Feel and admire the life inside of yoursElf.

Love yoursElf.

You never know, living in a flat might actually be a positive step as you will be in a new environment and that will give you new opportunities.

Love yoursElf. I know I have repeated it throughout this post but it is so very important. Celebrate your life and your wonderful achievements. Make today the first day of your new life. Celebrate life and celebrate you.

posted December 06, 2005 09:44 PM         

I agree with what the others have told you. Support is so vital for mothers! Especially single moms, cause then you have to be dad also.

Every day parents do their best. Some days your best is better than others. This does not degrade your best. Every day just do your best.

"Tommorow is always fresh with no mistakes in it." Anne Shirley

IS there someone around you, that you could swap babysitting with? Like one day you take their kids and they get some free time, and then vice versa?

I will keep you in my thoughts with Love and Light to surround you and lift you up and help you be strong.

Love,

Goatgirl

posted December 07, 2005 11:08 PM         

I do understand what it feels like to be pregnant and feel so isolated and chained to your circumstance. So without hope.
I often feared my emotions would affect the baby's soul or emotional development, while growing inside of me.
But, it didn't at all. He's the happiest, smiling, most Loving little guy. Even though it is hard to do it alone at times, his Beautiful Presence gives me the strength. Each little Smile, makes each step so much lighter.

It may seem as if the storm's just too much to bear, but ride it out and follow Your own Heart. No ONE else knows but you. And you do know. Have faith in yourself. Your existance is no accident. Both of your children's future will depend so much on Your emotional well-being, so take this time for YOU. Don't rush yourself. Each day will show you more, naturally, in its time. There's a much grander picture of what is best for them in the long run than having a secure(materialistically) life. If you don't live your own Truth...how will they learn the strength to live theirs?

Go inside of your Self and revist all of those dreams and inspirations and beautiful facets of life that make you truly feel Alive. They ARE there. Even if they seem so buried under the pain. This Life is endless possibilities awaiting You. Don't believe for an instant that anything is impossible.

The Sun will rise for you again. You will know Love and Intimacy as you've yearned for. Look around you, in all the places (HERE!)...all of the stories of others who at one time also saw their whole life shattering before them, and somehow miraculously have picked up the peices and built an even Brighter Day from it.

This probably sounds like a bunch of BS when you are in the thick of it. I understand that too and felt the same. Love and Sunny Days and Hope! BLAH! At the time I felt no one in the world could ever understand and words seemed so meaningless and passed right by me (or so I thought until later).

Sometimes it's hard to know what to say as well. This is something that can come from NO one else but YOU. Shut out all of the other voices and search withIN. It's a lonely and harsh realization to realize that you are alone and will always be (spiritually~symbolically, I mean--not physically alone ). But it IS strengthening and empowering too.

posted December 16, 2005 03:57 PM         

I finally got the chance to relpy...I just want to thank you so much for your love and support; you people can really fill one's cup; it is now brimming/overflowing with the sheer love & light from your words.

I don't know what came over me that day- surely one great dark cloud- and now I am rather imbarrassed. I have deleted what I wrote in that first post.

I haven't slpit up with the man yet, but we do have our problems. I do tend to get darker moods during the winter months. Just lately, I have had low energy levels- so am going to find out what I can do physically....I do know about daylight simulation lamps but haven't got one yet. I probably don't exercise enough. May have low iron levels, etc. I will ask the doctor about it soon.

So, it is a big combination of things. There are times when I do feel optimistic and bright. Then there are times when I literally feel as if the negative forces of the universe have enveloped me, telling me that life is meaningless.....I do tend to think too much; to look for answers.

But my child is wonderful, he is full of wonder and life and gives life to me. When I look at the face of a newborn, I can barely hold back the tears, as I see God in a baby's face and in a baby's smile.
I am feeling the baby inside me kick a little now, so that has been very reasurring- I now feel we can begin to bond. I have a feeling it is going to be a girl, but I may be wrong; don't mind either way. I may be able to find out soon.

Anyway- thankyou for being there for me guys, it is appreciated. I do get lonely. That has been because of circumstances- moving a lot, changing interests, etc. I know I can get my life together. It'll just take some time. I am good at getting on with people- it is just finding the places to go then seeking out a special wavelength, I guess. I have become somewhat a hermetic philosopher.......

anyway, 'nuff of all that!

posted June 22, 2006 07:21 PM         

I have just been feeling down again, so reading this has helped me.

I have a wonderful baby- but I will tell you about him later in the Free-For-All forum once I figure out how to 'post-a-pic'!

I do count my blessings, don't get me wrong. Its just I've been struggling with things quite a bit just lately.
First of all, I moved back in with my mother (who I have a volatile relationship with-this gets me down). My boyfriend and I just didn't get on living under the same roof. One day, when he yelled, it was the final straw and I was going to finish with him but couldn't. Anyway, things calmed down once we had our own space again, then the birth of our child was such a wonderful experience. We discussed me getting a place of my own near him so we could be together but have our own space.
But now I'm asking the same question I've kept asking myS-elf for years- is it him I'm meant to be with, or someone I can share the same spiritual journey with and be true to myS-elf? Very confusing.It is for me to decide.

I've also been finding it hard to take care of a baby as well as a toddler, 3 in October. He has moon in Gemini, so has a short attention span. And when he's not getting attention/being entertained he gets into everything he shouldn't- he also does a lot of screaming and whining. I do get a little help now- so its not so bad.

I'm lucky to be a mother, but in another sense i feel very alone- so alone. I've not been getting out very much- i'm just getting use to that with two kids- plus i don't like breast-feeding in public (on a windy day, if i use a sheet/blanket, it may get blown away!). Tiredness means i have a lack of energy. I've just lost a friend i thought a lot of (major falling out). I feel so sad!

Do anti-dpressents work? I've never wanted to take them- i've always thought my emotions were effected by my environment/longings of the soul...but maybe thats what i need to balance out my moods? Maybe it isn't my circumstances. Maybe it's just me.

Better finish here.

Love, Moonlight & Elves

posted June 22, 2006 08:26 PM         

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down...

I feel really alone, too. Because of health problems I haven't been getting out much, either, and it's definitely not a great morale boost to be stuck at home, I know.

And have a falling out with a close friend.... oh man..that's not fun. I totally feel for you.

posted June 23, 2006 05:35 AM         

Well, its a comfort to share the boat with someone, just as long as we're not crossing the waters of the Island in 'Lost', eh?!