posted September 29, 2019 05:03 PM            

The thing is, wherever I go, WHEREVER, I atract many people who are wounded or have problems and they want my help.

I was living in a friend house for a week. She had a flatmate who is very depressed.
That guy never even talked to her.
They lived together for more than a year.

I go there for a week, and that guy told me his whole life and sends me many messages about his problems every day.

I went for a massage. One of the therapist was sad, somehow I ended up talking to her and now she is sending messages all day asking me for money.

Or... I was living in a yoga school.
I had to share room. I wake up in the morning, still sleepy, and my roomate is there telling me she was raped as a kid.

As I just woke up for me its a bit difficult to deal with such strong thing, like... first thing in the morning before I could even take a shower. It too much, also because then she went on and on explaning everything in the afternoon, in the evening,night... so I feel I cant have a moment to breath.

Even I worked in a shop one summer, and there was some grandmas who would come on sunday always just to talk to me about their family problems, my boss was laughing about what did I do to have that grandma club in the shop everytime I was there.

the thing is I dont have anything extraordinary I just listen and I am optimistic in general, thats it. I am not a healer or nothing like that.

But seriously , this always ALWAYS happens to me. And I love to help people if I can, and I like to know diferent stories and people but sometiems I can't deal with it.

If I was on a very high level, I know I will be able to do it, but I have to respect my own progress, and I am not there yet, I am not a Bhuda.
I know I could have such a strong energy that nothing afects me, but still I am working on my own things.

Also I feel the emotions of other people as if it were mine, so to hear a terribly depressing story, when I just woke up, really afects me.

Or... that same girl, she sends me at leat half an hour of whatsapp audios every day, telling me how much she hates man, screaming, telling me man are **** .

I dont believe that but you know... after all this negative talking , I feel afected, I feel my own optimistic ideas get weaker.

I am trying to cultivate my own sthremght and faith and I feel all this influences instead of nourishing me are nourishing my fears.
its not helping at all.

If it was my job it would be ok bcs it would be just for some time then I can just prepare myself to just simply remember that person is sufering and is talking about his or her own reality , and it shouldnt have any efect on my life or my reality.

I just right now don't know how to draw some boundaries.
If I become bitter like them I would not have anything to do in this world, so I have to protect myself a little bit.

the thing is... with my actual friemds, I never feel burdened or intoxicated.

I have many good friends, and some of them went to really hard situations, and I NEVER feel tired or intoxicated after listening to them even if we speak for hours.

Because I feel its an exchange I feel we love each other and help each other.

But with those other very negative people , I feel its not about friendship, I dont feel there is any exchange , or I dont feel they love me, I dont feel its about love.

I feel they just need someone to throw negativity on, or someone who makes them feel good about themselves and encourages them.
And that is me.

So they take that and cant leave it.
But its not a friendship.

This kind of people usually I have to hide all the good news in my life bcs they feel disturbed about others happiness.

But specially about that girl who was rapped, I feel so so sorry for her.
She says I am her only friend.
How can I just not talk to her? I feel too bad about it.

But I truly cant take it anymore. She hates everybody around her who is happy.
She destroys her own life by cheating on every guy she finds.

I am terribly sorry for her, but I just dont know how to help anymore, and I cant deal with all the milions messages she sends me.

I feel I am doing a very important progress in my own spiritual journey and I need for some time to be free from negativity around.

What to do? Not just with her, in general.
Its difficult for me to draw boundaries and sometimes it really eats up all my energy.

But now specially with this girl who is telling me I am her best friend and she has nobody else. What to do?
I am afraid she may kill herslef if I cut contact with her.

Plus I feel for real sorry for her.
I know if I dont answer one day she is just like ... so anxious thinking about why I am not answering.

And she has a big big issue with rejection.
It will break her if I go away.

But I truly cant take it anymore. I tried to tell her to please take professional help but she is not getting it.

posted September 29, 2019 10:20 PM            

Currently I am living in a
homeless shelter, and like you
lots of people seek me...

Here are some things I do to
be able to deal with everything...

I get up an hour before everyone
else. Shower, get ready in peace

I make sure during the day to get time away, by going to the
park or library, before leaving,
I let them know that I am working on something very important and can't be disturbed..otherwise, I would
never have any "me" time...

They can all reach me by text,
and know I shall answer as soon
as I can...

Directing people in a new direction, letting them know
I have said and done all I could. Be firm, otherwise we
shall become overwhelmed, there
is only so much we can do. People must learn to stand on
their own two feet. We do not
want anyone becoming codependent
on us.

Setting boundaries to fit your
life and purpose

posted October 02, 2019 05:01 AM            

Its hard for me to wake up earlier than everybody because sleeping is my weakness eheh... I need like 8 to 9 hours.

Some gurus they say this is not healthy and we shouldnt sleep more than 7 but still I can't.
But its a good time to start doing it!

I actually already told my roomate that I am gonna need time alone everyday in the library because I am writting a book.

I guess also its good to remember you are not helping people for real if you just do all they want.