Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted October 08, 2020 07:59 PM            

---

Dear Todd,

this is with my best friend since about 30 years... he's an ex, we lived together back in early '90s, but then we just became soulmates/best friends. He was quite in love with me back then, but I wasn't. To me, he was everything I was dreaming in a man, an artist who I could completely share our vision of life and the world with, anarchic philosophy, artistic projects, we used to talk for hours about all these things, we used to live in a very alternative way in the countryside, painting and playing music, always on the same page, even too much. Sometimes, I had the feeling he was my male version completely. But, despite all that, I didn't fall in love with him in the romantic sense... I could not live without him, but I just couldnt fall in love. He felt this and even though we were doing pretty well, his frustration grew more and more until we broke up. But our bond was too strong, and we kept being very close for the past 30 years...
he has always been the one supporting me in every situation and struggle. He was always there for me. In the meantime, we had relationships with other people, but we used to share it all and talk about our issues with our partners and so on...

13 years ago he had a daughter and he started to focus completely on her, they have a very special relationship and he's the best father ever. But since then, he started to detach from me, until exactly one year ago when we had a fight cause he had promised to help me with something but then he left me waiting for 4 months, he knew it was a very urgent thing and he never wanted me to call anyone else to do this, saying that he would do it, but then he never did cause he was always busy with his daughter, so at one point I started to get angry about this... well, I never called him back, and he never did either, and this to me meant that he just didnt care about me anymore...

I would like to understand if there's any chance for reconciliation... I am still angry for his behaviour and I dont want to get closer again if he no longer cares of me. But I miss him a lot.

Thank you, if you feel like checking this out.

IP: Logged

Posts: 4512
From:
Registered: Jun 2009

posted October 08, 2020 08:24 PM            

---

When the node squares the moon/mercury/eros-psyche midpoint I would think he will reconcile.
But as a personal note/criticism I think your preoccupations/obsession with your dream actor may be part of you in ex's frustration.
I may be speaking out of place but you seem to be preoccupied with a imaginary relationship to the detriment of you ex and daughter.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted October 08, 2020 08:35 PM            

---

Yes Todd, this is very possible and I have been thinking about this a lot. They also look very similar... the funny thing is that also my ex/best friend is an "impossible love" now, since he has a family now :-)

But I just would like the "friend" to be back, not the lover... should I make the first move? Do you think he still cares about our friendship?

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted October 08, 2020 10:54 PM            

---

Sorry Todd, I had made a mistake, his TOB was not correct, I have updated the image...
...it seems the nodes will be square to Moon/Mercury at around my birthday (!)

But maybe I misunderstood you, I thought you were referring to me as being in love with the actor for subconsciously missing my ex! He actually doesnt know about the actor, I never told him... we werent so close anymore when I met J cause he was always focused on his daughter... But he had a bad fight with my ex husband though, who is still a "family" person for me, my ex/friend never liked him....

IP: Logged

Posts: 4512
From:
Registered: Jun 2009

posted October 09, 2020 01:36 PM            

---

No I wasn't making any connection to your ex and daughter at all.I was just suggesting that your preoccupation with the actor may have grated on your ex.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted October 09, 2020 04:06 PM            

---

He didnt know anything about it... For me he was just too focused on his daughter and didnt care about me as a friend anymore... And if so, I would reconcile only if I knew he still cares, but he didnt show so far...

IP: Logged

Posts: 4512
From:
Registered: Jun 2009

posted October 09, 2020 07:24 PM            

---

But you mentioned your ex had been taking care of you when your "aliments" disabled you...he did know you were preoccupied with the actor?

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted October 09, 2020 07:57 PM            

---

My ex husband is the one who is still supporting me economically... my ex friend used to support me psychologically :-)) I mean, as a friend... sorry for the confusion!
Neither of the two knows about the actor :-D

IP: Logged

Posts: 4512
From:
Registered: Jun 2009

posted October 09, 2020 09:27 PM            

---

Oh..... Yes I was confused.
Best luck

IP: Logged

Posts: 306
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Jun 2020

posted October 09, 2020 10:17 PM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoika7:
Yes Todd, this is very possible and I have been thinking about this a lot. They also look very similar... the funny thing is that also my ex/best friend is an "impossible love" now, since he has a family now :-)

But I just would like the "friend" to be back, not the lover... should I make the first move? Do you think he still cares about our friendship?

---

Do you want tarot reading for this? 😁

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted October 10, 2020 12:20 AM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by AQUACap88:
Do you want tarot reading for this? 😁

---

❤️❤️❤️

...but you did tarots already for me! well, if you feel like doing it :-D my question is if G still cares about our friendship :-)

(but please, without obligation! 🙏 )

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted October 10, 2020 12:24 AM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by todd:
Oh..... Yes I was confused.
Best luck

---

It's my fault Todd, I didnt explain well! thank you ❤️

IP: Logged

Posts: 852
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 10, 2020 05:17 AM            

---

Hi Stoika7, I’m not too familiar with the situation and I don’t have the astrological skills enough to contribute yet, but as someone who has been having someone in mind but barely contacted, I would suggest maybe asking him out for coffee or something? Only that way you can truly know if he cares, and whether or not he cares you can get the feel of it and have closure. In my case I ended up asking the person in my mind for a coffee, and I’m looking forward to break this “illusion” and get a real feel of it instead of having my mind think about it non stop.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted October 10, 2020 02:06 PM            

---

Hi AriesLilith, thank you. I'm sick and cant go out for anything, but it would be weird cause we dont (didnt) usually hang out for coffee or stuff like that, we usually do things together or he would come over for dinner and talk for hours. But that is not the problem... for years we havent seen each other anymore cause he was always too busy with his daughter, and didnt come visit me even when I was very sick for years... I understand he's busy, but he just showed me he cares only about his daughter nd nothing else, it's not like we used to be. And after he kept me waiting for 4 months promising something he never did, I'm not the one to make the first move anymore. I have been searching him for years. This is not my idea of true friendship.

IP: Logged

Posts: 4512
From:
Registered: Jun 2009

posted October 10, 2020 10:05 PM            

---

Looking at the composite it very surprising you didn't get married,though I assume your anarchist life style precluded that.the composite is outstanding .
I can only think that the physical aesthetic was not alone hat you wanted.

It may be that you do not appreciate that time changes people,in eggs you never considered.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted October 10, 2020 10:17 PM            

---

What do you mean by "outstanding"?

Well, I think the only reason I didn't fall in love as much as he did is that when we met and got close I was trying to move on from my first boyfriend whom I loved madly... but then, I realized he (my friend) was likely "the one" for me when it was too late, i.e. when he was committed with someone else and had his daughter, and I was also married to someone else...
yes, I dont think we would have got officially married, but I am convinced that if I had fallen in love with him back then we would still be together now.... :-(

IP: Logged

Posts: 137228
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 20, 2020 12:44 PM            

---

Bump!

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted January 01, 2021 02:32 PM            

---

Hi Todd, Happy New Year! ❤️

My (ex) best friend just showed up. He sent me a whatsapp message with a hug and new year wishes, after ONE YEAR he had disappeared.
I am very angry and I don't understand what's in his mind... didn't he even realize it's been a year since he just disappeared? His message only made me cry and I don't feel like replying as if nothing has happened.
Or is he trying to test me and see if I am still mad at him?
What's going on??

IP: Logged

Posts: 286
From: London
Registered: Nov 2020

posted January 01, 2021 02:50 PM            

---

Hey Stoika love, just came upon this thread and just wanted to share my well wishes *hugs*. I have a close friend to me who has been in a similar situation and her "person" also reaches out to her like nothing has happened previously (broken off engagement). I hope you don't mind my input. My best advice is to not do anything rash and reflect over it. Maybe this may be his sign of reconciliation to test if you'll reply and if you may care. You've been friends with him for such a long time, he has to know who you are as a person and your personality well so be honest and true to you. <3

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted January 01, 2021 03:12 PM            

---

Hey lovely, thanks so much ❤️❤️❤️

Yes I am trying to understand "what I feel"... but also what sense it all makes, because he knows my situation, he knows I have serious health issues and I'm often depressed, I can't forgive him for having left me alone like that for one year, and since he has his daughter I just can't share things anymore like before, I can't recognize him. I mean I could reply happy new years, hugs, no problem, but it would be fake, cause I am hurted and I know things are not like before anymore, so it doesnt make sense to me. He said to another common friend that he only cares about his daughter and none else in the the world, and it's actually what his behaviour showed to me. So I dont understand now this message, what sense does it make? He's not the kind of person that cares about traditional stuff, wishes, new years eve, it's crazy.
Hugs ❤️

IP: Logged

Posts: 25
From:
Registered: Dec 2020

posted January 01, 2021 03:44 PM            

---

Hi lovely Stoika, Happy New Year,

First of all I want to wish you well soon 😙💕♥️. Secondly thanks for being such a wonderful, helpful soul.
Thirdly sorry for popping up like this I hope you don't mind. I read your thread as you already know I cant help you with astrology but I cant tell you my humble opinion if you dont mind.

What about calling him? What is there to loose? Call him and let him know how you feel.
At least you will be feeling better afterwards, no matter the response you get.
All this years of unconditional love can't just disappear in thin air.

♥️♥️♥️

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted January 01, 2021 04:20 PM            

---

Mary0 ❤️❤️❤️ Lots of hugs to you and Happy New Year! ✨✨✨✨

Thanks for all your lovely words!! ❤️❤️❤️

I love your straightforward way and advice! Yes, I know it's crazy to let it fade away like that, and that's why I am so hurt. The thing is that I have always been the one to reach out, always, for the past ten years, enough is enough, and not only with him, but so many friends have disappeared since I'm sick that I am not longer accepting any kind of fake friendship. For me it's a matter of self-respect and also that my concept of friendship can't be one sided I'm Aqua Sun :-))
But certainly it's not over and I believe I will have a chance to tell him how I feel. I just don't feel like replying at this moment, I'm too angry and when I am angry I have bad reactions (Aries Mars!)... I'm wondering if he still cares or if it meant nothing for him to send that message like if nothing has happened....

Hugs!! ❤️

IP: Logged

Posts: 25
From:
Registered: Dec 2020

posted January 02, 2021 05:37 AM            

---

I have a friend like that which I left behind and I can tell you firsthand that life do gets in the way. It's not that you want to leave your friend. Sometimes it's that too many things get in on the way. You get busy doing your thing and you prioritise other situations.

There is always love and probably will be but what is going on keeps you so busy that days pass and you realise that it has been ages since you haven't contacted the person that meant the world to you.

Some people are better at keeping touch some others just get lost in their head 🤣 or in whatever keeps them wake at night and time passes.

You certainly can't push yourself to do something that isn't in alignment with your feelings. Just try and keep yourself as happy as possible and whatever feels right to you so at least you can feel ok with yourself.
♥️

IP: Logged

Posts: 762
From:
Registered: Sep 2019

posted January 02, 2021 06:04 AM            

---

Hey Stoika, I'm sure he cares. You have a history and I don't see him sending a message just because. People leave and come back sometimes, it's just what happens (I'm sure you are no stranger to this either...)
However, you have every right to be hurt and angry. I would suggest replying when and most importantly HOWEVER you feel like replying when the time comes. Same as you, I would also want an explanation as to why he disappeared and where is his head at now...and certainly an apology..

Hope the negative/sad emotions simmer down soon, so you can act with a cool head. And even more so, I hope that maybe you can get your friend back..if he shows worthy of it♡♡

IP: Logged

Posts: 1671
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019

posted January 02, 2021 08:43 AM            

---

My sweetest girls! Yes of course it can happen what Mary says, just to make clear, I am not angry at him just cause he disappeared for being busy, but for a whole insensitive behaviour and he then disappeared as I was angry at him, not cause he was busy, so he's perfectly aware I am angry and his message doesnt make sense and makes me even angrier! I think he should apologise for his behaviour that also caused me a few troubles, instead of a silly nye message after one year of silence (escaping)!

IP: Logged