posted October 31, 2020 07:43 PM            

I went on a date the other day with a guy i thought was more compatible but didn’t feel a spark. Only made me realise I miss this man and we’ve spent such a lovely day together with our kids. (Both single parents raising girls the same age.)

He’s divorced and has 3 children by two different women, he has sole care of his youngest daughter and we have an awful lot in common. I admire him and fancy him a lot; but yet, as soon as I think we are getting somewhere I end up saying something to hurt his feelings and we stop talking... all be it a few weeks or so before we end up reconnecting. Wth is going on?!

After he’s left today I feel like I love him, wish we could make it work but previously all posters said they didn’t think it was a good match, apart from Todd who said he could see a strong marriage indication surrounding the vertex placements or aspects.. I don’t know, it was a year ago now I looked into our charts...

Pleeeaaase tell me what you see and if we stand a chance at a future; he’s a Leo alright and the pride can **** me off but we have such a special bond.

Synastry
[img]https://i.postimg.cc/14kLN7Kb/AF5-FCC10-F034-4799-B5-AF-850-D26561-AEB.png[/img]

posted November 01, 2020 03:24 AM            

Boy he has some issues alright. He was in the army for 12 years high in the ranks. His father (who was his best friend) had a heart attack whilst talking on the phone to him and he found him dead, due to this and all the trauma of being a soldier he suffers from PTSD. He was in therapy when we met, and is in a much better place now but as much as he is fond of me he’s kept me at arms length..

Yet we have such a warm and homely bond, never argue when we are together and he’s the best dad I know, as a single mum he treats my girls the way I would want for them as a father. He’s just so lovable in many ways, strong and proud man, yet sensitive and silly. Unfortunately we’ve had 3 falling out over a misunderstanding over the phone or txt where I’ve said something which has hurt his feelings and he’s shut off from me.

Then I’ll go into the ex’s... he married while being in the army and had two children. Our two eldest daughters share the same name. His ex wife and kids live a few hours away but she causes him a lot of stress and had a nasty divorce/child custody battle which he fought for his kids for childcare arrangements.

He started another relationship and had a daughter same age as my daughter (a day apart in age) not knowing her very long and she ended up to be an ex addict. Seeming very normal at first (clean for years when he met her) he was completely unaware of her past history. When his father died he hit rock bottom, and with a young baby she introduced him to drugs.

This using only went on for a month before he realised the gravity of the situation and kicked her out and gained sole custody of his daughter. The mother fell straight back into addiction when their daughter was 6 months old and court drug testing she was unable to prove her sobriety - she has now made no effort to contact her daughter for 3 years (She’s only 4) Poor thing.

It’s obviously drama I could do without in my life, and this is why he’s been keeping me at arms length not wanted to get me involved.. although his ex wife lives hours away he has his older children every school holiday and is an excellent father to all 3 of them, his life evolves around them and I can’t help but love him for staying strong for his kids. Also being a single parent to a 4 year old is admirable to say the least...

I’ve had a similar experience with my girls dad, had no idea he was an alcoholic until my daughter was born and had to cut him out of our lives, apart from supervised contact which he doesn’t adhere to. We both understand eachother in that respect and are almost living parallel lives (2 daughters same name/daughters born a day apart).

I would probably have an easier relationship with someone else, and I did try and meet someone different this week, but it wasn’t him and made me miss him even more. Every time we take a break from eachother we end up speaking again and once again feel like an old married couple lol.. it really hard for us to say goodbye which we’ve ended up spending days together at a time, all be it acting as if only friends around the kids, to embracing eachother in moments alone... there’s a deep bond I’ve not experienced before, and in a nutshell I have much admiration for him and wish we could make it work. Although it seems easier when we don’t put any label on it, think our kids, family/friends want us to be together. Such a deep bond, no arguing even, just miscommunication and lots of baggage in the way!

What asteroids should I look for Todd? Hopefully something will swing it in our favour.

Here’s his natal
[img]https://i.postimg.cc/wBYPJc3J/BE4192-F0-286-A-49-BB-8425-F83-D0-C1-E14-B1.png[/img]

Here’s mine
[img]https://i.postimg.cc/wBYPJc3J/BE4192-F0-286-A-49-BB-8425-F83-D0-C1-E14-B1.png[/img]

Thanks for anyone who takes the time to Look into this... I’ve tried to move on but he seems worth the effort!

posted November 01, 2020 03:55 AM            

Composite
[img]https://i.postimg.cc/8PNK4PbJ/E75-F463-F-C159-41-C4-9698-D018485-C78-E6.png[/img][url=https://treetop100babynames.com/exotic-baby-names- boys]middle names that start with i[/url]

posted November 01, 2020 04:44 AM            

Synastry

[img]https://i.postimg.cc/YSFD8Xh8/B9-DDE152-2-CE3-4-C11-A470-A79-C7-D94-F70-D.png[/img]

posted November 02, 2020 03:26 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by abrightfutureahead:

Here’s his natal
[img]https://i.postimg.cc/wBYPJc3J/BE4192-F0-286-A-49-BB-8425-F83-D0-C1-E14-B1.png[/img]

Here’s mine
[img]https://i.postimg.cc/wBYPJc3J/BE4192-F0-286-A-49-BB-8425-F83-D0-C1-E14-B1.png[/img]

Thanks for anyone who takes the time to Look into this... I’ve tried to move on but he seems worth the effort!

Many thanks!
Lisa

---

You've posted the same natal chart. Is that him? Leo Sun/Mars square Pluto. He's dominating and can have quite a temper. He also has Sag Moon/Gem Venus widely influenced by Uranus. This means he's ruled more by logic than by feelings. Do not like to be too clingy.

posted November 02, 2020 07:01 AM            

Also I’m glad he’s more logical than emotional that suits my Libra moon/Gemini mercury and ascendant. He’s a very warm and proud Leo - my Juno in Leo I guess that’s what I’m seeking in a partner.
Emotional men scare me off... not fond of clinginess either and like my independence.

For some reason I can’t let him go... and going to make a conscious effort to make it work.

Here’s my natal
[img]https://i.postimg.cc/WbjdVLfg/B593-B79-E-78-E9-468-B-8-F92-5-EE69414-E591.png[/img]

posted November 02, 2020 07:21 AM            

Wow Todd, wish I got this message a little earlier. We have a time zone difference. We spent Halloween together had such a lovely day. Really missed eachother, he said he would come and see me yesterday but he let me down ( no fault of his own ) and I overreacted..

But he called me today and explained how stressed out he is and how he still wants me to come and stay with him at the weekend so I haven’t scared him off just yet.!

Silent stalwart friend it is.. I know the feelings are there for the both of us. Hopefully in feb/March we will get somewhere. I hope it’s for the long term - I’ll take it at his pace until then as do feel he is worth the while. warts and all !

posted November 02, 2020 07:31 AM            

I’ll keep things supportive and light and hope to tell you some good news in the New Year. I’m not a clingy person but it’s hard when you know the feelings are mutual yet we both don’t feel ready to call it official, although we are committed..

He’s asked me a few times to be his girlfriend and I let him down, he even told me he loved me before but I brushed him off.. guess it hasn’t been our time and even he said everything is so great with us until one of us tries to put a label on our bond then one of us freaks out and yet we remain like best friends/a couple anyway.

posted November 02, 2020 09:00 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by abrightfutureahead:
even though he’s told me if I ever got with someone else it would break his heart and he couldn’t be my friend anymore he’d be devastated. [/B]

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posted November 02, 2020 09:17 AM            

It sounds that way but he has asked me to be his girlfriend before and I turned him down, he actually said this to me not long after that, so not exactly how it seems..
he’s a single dad raising his 3 year old daughter and I’m a single mother to a 2 and 3 year old. He’s never once treated me with disrespect. Our relationship is mostly friendly due to us having 3 little girls running around - we don’t display affection in front of them, it’s more a little kids here and there when we are in private which isn’t often.
We’ve been seeing eachother a year now and probably slept together 6 separate occasions.. he’s very much a gentleman but shows me affected by secretly holding hands etc when girls arnt looking lol.

It’s a complicated situation. I was the one who said to remain friends before he said about I would break his heart if I went with someone else... he’s got some issues to work out and his priority right now is to be the best dad he can be... there’s no denying his feelings for me though. If anything I am the one to initiate anything sexual but he’s always talking about me to his family and friends and even when Stop talking for a few weeks he still keeps pictures of me as his screensaver on his tv...

I didn’t want to get involved as he has regular stress of his ex wife playing god with his older two kids:.. but I feel he’s worthwhile all the same!

posted November 02, 2020 12:40 PM            

As I said our moments of “off” have kept getting shorter, perhaps the moon conjunct Pluto in the composite keeps us from parting ways. We miss eachother a hell of a lot when we don’t speak, all be it a week or so before we end up connecting again. In the time we are apart we both find some creative inspiration thanks to the other persons input, we have a positive effect on each others lives so once we reunite it makes our bond stronger and the trust has come along slowly..

It’s funny any misunderstanding has been either via txt or phone and never when we are together, we get on like a house on fire. As someone who seems to bicker with partners and find things irritating about them this is new for me to have nothing but admiration and genuinely like the person he is. I usually friend zone any guy I actually consider a friend worth having. Let’s hope those loving transits will push us in the right direction. This has been a crazy year with lockdowns etc. I don’t think it’s been the right time for us yet, but I’m hopeful.!

His issues seemed not worthwhile for me before, but Now I know his children and the longer I’ve known him he has proven to be consistent and a good man. Time will tell I guess...

posted November 03, 2020 05:06 PM            

Do you think if come feb/March when these spontaneous devotion transits occur and we get together officially that this relationship could be long term? Spent 5 years without love now, which is difficult and lonely. A few terrible relationships including my girls father who you warned me about..

posted November 06, 2020 02:37 PM            

Some days he calls me 6 times and then some days I don’t hear much at all.. usually this behaviour would be enough to stir an emotional reaction in me, but after your accurate analysis and advice I am able to be empathetic to his situation (his step dad very poorly at the moment and issues with his ex wife causing him grief) so I shall be as cool as a cucumber and get on with things and have faith that when the time is right soon we can make something of our connection.!