posted February 14, 2015 09:53 AM            

I'd like to know if you have experience or just plain old good ideas for harsh aspects to someone's Mars in synastry.

With my boyfriend and I, we've had some serious struggles and astro-wise I'm nearly positive it has to do with the overwhelming number of afflictions to his Mars.

Basics:
Him: Mars in Libra in the 11th house, disposited by Venus in Leo in the 9th (conjunct Jupiter to amp it up!).
He has Mars square Uranus and Neptune in his natal (confusing and sudden anger), and a trine from Saturn.
Mars rules his 5th and 6th house.

Now, the horror begins with all of these aspects (from tightest to widest):
- His Mars square my Neptune (exact - my H6 ruler)
- His Mars square my IC & MC
- His Mars square my Saturn (my H4 ruler)
- His Mars square my Chiron
- His Mars square my Moon (my H10 ruler)
- His Mars square my Jupiter (my H3 ruler)
- and also square my Uranus (my H5 ruler)
- Also conjunct my Ascendant and BML

Then dispositor Venus, thank God has at least something positive:
- Conjunct my Sun exact and my SN (sun rules my 11th)
- Biquintile my Moon
- Sextile my Ceres and BML exact
- then square my Pluto (rules my 2nd)
- and sesquisquare my Saturn

And yes, I have all of these in my natal chart with my Ascendant and Sun.
The squares come from my 5-part Capricorn stellium and Jupiter & Chiron flanking my MC. The square from Pluto to his Venus is from Scorpio to Leo. Then the Saturn-Venus one from Capricorn to Leo. For clarification.

So, I'm just at loss at how to find a buffer & outlet for all of these. There's just so many of them. I feel really sorry for how much Mars action I trigger in him.

Funniest thing is he is an inspiration for me and my own issues with being direct, unable to deal with conflict and in expressing myself and anger more easily. After a long talk after a really tiresome fight, I told him that and he was so surprised and pleased to hear it. He really had no idea it is an example to me (though he's not that great at handling his anger either at times, like in sudden outbursts).

As tiring as the fights are (and they do trigger a lot of childhood issues & insecurities), I find it liberating. Like, I was one of these passive, pushover types who never dared to even give a peep, let alone stick up for what I need and say someone crossed the line with me. Line, what line? Nothing was too much for me until it basically destroyed me. It's just so disappointing finding out that while this is so empowering and transformative for me, it's a massive headache (and heartache) to him. Like it's perceived so differently.

So does any of you have any ideas or experiences with how to deal with these aspects. Any will do, but preferably the tight ones (I think Mars-Neptune, Mars-Saturn, Mars-IC/Moon and Mars-Chiron have been the biggest bad guys here).

Sorry for the huge text, I hope it will help in seeing the whole picture and how it plays out.

posted February 14, 2015 10:03 AM            

Mars in Virgo in the 11th, near the 12th house cusp. I interpret it as being in both.
- Mars conjunct Mercury (ruler of the 9th & 12th)
- Mars trine Saturn near-exact
- Also trine Neptune, IC, Moon and Uranus
- Sextile Jupiter, MC and Pluto
- Quincunx my Descendant
- Semi-sextile my Ascendant

Synastry:

Aspect grid:

posted February 17, 2015 08:09 AM            

But to minimize the headache (how Martian!), I think you need to find a way to keep the communication lines very open, and with that MErcury-Mars-conjunction you have excellent chances of that to happen.

Sure you will never be a subdued, quiet couple. But the fact you are together and love each other implies that this is what you need right now.
You transform together and that is the best way to handle Mars.

Another way would be gettng physically active together or engage in common projects where you can release a lot of energy.

Or have sex. Frequently.
That might release some of the energy as well.

Mars HAS to have an outlet, yes, but you are aware of the issues and that means you have a greater chance than most to be able to deal with them reasonably and constructively.

posted February 17, 2015 04:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
I find you do a superb job actually!
And what might be the source of conflict, also might be one of the biggest draws. Sure it probably is exhausting, but I guess those Mars-aspects also are one of the reasons he is attracted to you strongly.

But to minimize the headache (how Martian!), I think you need to find a way to keep the communication lines very open, and with that MErcury-Mars-conjunction you have excellent chances of that to happen.

Sure you will never be a subdued, quiet couple. But the fact you are together and love each other implies that this is what you need right now.
You transform together and that is the best way to handle Mars.

Another way would be gettng physically active together or engage in common projects where you can release a lot of energy.

Or have sex. Frequently.
That might release some of the energy as well.

Mars HAS to have an outlet, yes, but you are aware of the issues and that means you have a greater chance than most to be able to deal with them reasonably and constructively.

He will probably have to find a way to manage his anger though.

---

Hi, Ceri, thank you so much for your positive and thorough reply. Love hearing your astro thoughts here.

You think so? I was having just too many doubts, but maybe, that could be true. There is definitely no lack of attraction and chemistry, which is probably all of these Mars aspects like you said. And ruling his romantic 5th house may make it easier, too.
I want to turn this into a positive thing! It would just suck for this to turn into endless fighting... I know he doesn't want to, it's probably super tough on him with his Libra Mars, wanting peace more than anything. An Aries Mars may have been less bothered by those squares.

Haha, oh I hadn't even realized! Yes, true Mars and headaches. Funniest thing is, come to think of it, he loves getting head massages or me just running my fingers through his hair.

As for the communication, I agree. Thank God we have that. It just feels unfair with him getting that many afflictions while my Mars is almost breezing through. Direct, honest communication works best when we have a conflict, yes.

True. I have conceded we'll have these fights now and then and won't get to agree on everything (there's been an occasion where, in order not to turn into an ego clash, we really just had to agree to disagree). It doesn't take away that I love him, and I can love him even if there's stuff that's impossible to find a happy medium about. (We both have Libra stuff... it's HARD coming to that conclusion!)
Transforming together... I love how you put that. Yes, I'd love to do that with him and we are both changing.

^ Love your suggestion. Yes, we take walks together and just find a nice piece of nature to chill at. Good place to talk too and reconnect. We went on a walk through a new part of the woods this Sunday, and spent all afternoon there. Suits his Saggie Moon, I think.

Lol. Just going to say that yes, that helps a lot, too. It definitely releases some of that energy.

Glad you think the awareness is a great help. I hope so, too. We are very aware of our issues and can make the other person aware of it.

posted February 17, 2015 05:56 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Also, I find discussing openly what the other needs when they are angry helps as well. I mean having this conversation at a peaceful time.
Then, allow the other that outlet or space (space is what I need usually).
Expecting the other to deal with anger the way we do is a mistake I think.

Just my opinion.

---

Hi,

That has helped before, yes, good idea. Especially just listening to the other - he really appreciates that. Timing is key, too, I agree.

posted February 18, 2015 09:11 AM            

Sorry I'm late getting to this thread.

Not sure if you're aware of this:
But if you can shrink that aspect grid you won't have to scroll across to read the comments. It expands the whole thread.

Looks like Mars is a skipped step for him (squares the nodal axis).

So it will always be a central issue.

Your Chiron conjunct his SN node and your moon conjunct his NN...that seems like it would feel great, when Mars isn't interfering too much! Though his nodal axis is a difficult one...moving from reclusive and shy to extreme ambition.

Does he get angry when people seem to be tripping him up on his road to success, or when he's having problems with his social circle that discourage him, or....? I suppose, depending on what his triggers are, you can just be aware of them and try to foresee problems before they even happen (you're a Snake...good at that!) But I wouldn't even address them directly, as that might be a trigger in itself.

Seems like what he really needs is reassurance (which you are supremely good at) and honesty (another talent of yours.) So when you can sincerely compliment him, and he recognizes how substantial your words are, it will probably have a deep effect (as you said, when you praised him for enabling you to be more open about your feelings)...and that might silence Mars for a while.

posted March 08, 2015 04:06 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
Hi Rie

Sorry I'm late getting to this thread.

Not sure if you're aware of this:
But if you can shrink that aspect grid you won't have to scroll across to read the comments. It expands the whole thread.

Looks like Mars is a skipped step for him (squares the nodal axis).

So it will always be a central issue.

Your Chiron conjunct his SN node and your moon conjunct his NN...that seems like it would feel great, when Mars isn't interfering too much! Though his nodal axis is a difficult one...moving from reclusive and shy to extreme ambition.

Does he get angry when people seem to be tripping him up on his road to success, or when he's having problems with his social circle that discourage him, or....? I suppose, depending on what his triggers are, you can just be aware of them and try to foresee problems before they even happen (you're a Snake...good at that!) But I wouldn't even address them directly, as that might be a trigger in itself.

Seems like what he really needs is reassurance (which you are supremely good at) and honesty (another talent of yours.) So when you can sincerely compliment him, and he recognizes how substantial your words are, it will probably have a deep effect (as you said, when you praised him for enabling you to be more open about your feelings)...and that might silence Mars for a while.

Also I want to second what Ceri said, you are doing a good job with this already.

---

No, I don't mind, Faith! See how late I am.
Oh, I'm aware of the grid - I know it's expanding the screen, but I wanted the orbs for each aspect to be visible. Sorry for all the stretching.

Yes yes yes! You've got it, Mars as a skipped step: lessons he still needs to learn. I've told you he's done that cross country event and he goes out for a run often. The sports probably help him channel some of that tension.

As for Chiron and Moon on his Nodes, yes, that's been a big theme in our relationship. We seem to keep taking turns in helping the other with past, childhood issues, we're generally more accepting of each other's moods knowing it stems from that. He feels good around me, he's said that just being at home with me makes him relax and calm.

Haha. No, sorry, it's another expression of both signs. Though he does get annoyed when he wants to do his thing and there's people asking him something or drawing a line. I feel that's what he really needs to learn from his Cap NN - that there's a line for what you can and cannot do, especially with other people/society (Saturn in Aquarius). You know?

Aww thanks honey you're right, he definitely needs that. That Cancer SN (and Moon in the 2nd house of security) is very sensitive and can be quite dependent on others. But I'm supporting him all I can.
Telling him about inspiring me definitely touched him deeply, he was really surprised and glad to hear it. Hope it will channel that Mars yes.

Thanks! I know you're not on the boards for now, but wanted to reply anyway.

posted March 08, 2015 04:26 PM            

A year ago, I read this post on sasstrology:
http://sasstrology.com/2014/02/indicators-for-a-new-relationship-in-the-solar-return-chart.html

It talks about indicators for meeting someone new... and yes, it shows in both our charts. Has anyone had this happen to them as well?

My solar for 2014/15:
- Libra ASC and NN conjunct Natal ASC. I've read that having the Solar Return ASC in the same sign as your natal means it's going to be a special year for you. It has been!
- Aries DSC with Moon and Uranus conjunct the DSC. He's definitely a bit of all of those, and it shows partnerships having importance this year.
- Ruler Mars in Libra... which is his Mars sign. He even has a Mars-Node connection like in my SR chart!
- Neptune in my 5th and Chiron.
- Venus conjunct Jupiter... he has this aspect natally. In my SR it's in Leo, which is the sign of his Venus.
- SR Juno conjunct my natal Jupiter exact. I think it was close, by not too many minutes. He's a foreiger growing up in nearly the opposite surroundings as me. But our childhoods (Juno/Jupiter in Cancer maybe?) were very similar.