posted April 02, 2023 03:52 PM            

Recently looked back at the composite charts of a couple past relationships and while I noticed a few similarities (the relationships I look back fondly upon all have Sun conjunct Mercury - fun times) there's this black sheep that I want to take a closer look at. I was hoping someone might be able to see what aspects may have symbolized the specific problems in that relationship that wound up dissolving it in the long run.

The relationship had been about several months long and the sexual side of it was great—this guy and I probably had the most sexual compatibility that I've ever had with a partner. But after a while it felt like sex was the only thing holding the relationship together. Getting together sucked a lot, too—I really liked him, he was noncomittal, we did a FWB thing because I was young and dumb and just really wanted his attention. (Never again with that junk!)

I always suspected that I was just not a priority to this guy and totally dropped everything to cater to his needs/wants. I played "sugar momma" to him the whole time. Guy was just kind of a deadbeat, always asking for money or for me to buy him things, lmao. Like I said, I was young and dumb, I didn't want to believe he was that kind of scumbag but the bright side is that I got out having learned what I'd never put up with in a relationship and I think I needed that hard knock to get it through my head.

Then there was the fidelity/cheating thing—I gave the benefit of the doubt but only found out after the end of the relationship that he often cheated/flirted with other chicks. He got with another chick less than a week after I broke it off for the last time (it was on/off for the last month) so that always felt to me like he was "collecting backup options" to jump right in on or something.

Looking at the composite, these are the red flags that stand out to me:
- Sun opposite Moon
- Moon opposite Mercury
- Lilith square Sun
- Lilith square Moon
- Sun square Chiron
- Venus square Chiron
- Pluto opposite NN

I feel like that Pluto opposite NN may have played out as my experiencing this and learning what not to put up with ever again (and luckily the lesson stuck.) I don't know if he learned anything from the relationship, though. Like I said, I really never got the sense that I meant a whole lot to him. He swore up and down that he did love me, maybe he /wanted/ to but... that could be that Moon opposite Mercury -- if he /was/ being honest, I wasn't reading it as such. I definitely feel Moon opposite Mercury contributed to not feeling like he was a good intellectual match (not calling him unintelligent at all, we just had very different interests and perceptions I think.)

I hate falling upon Lilith with the infidelity stereotype because I actually love Lilith energy, she's amazing, but this relationship had been the only one where I truly felt like lying/cheating was happening. It's also the only relationship I've spotted hard Lilith aspects in, too. Other relationships have unaspected Lilith or easy aspects and I never felt reason to feel like there was dishonesty/infidelity. So... funny how that works, I guess.

What aspects do you suppose might have contributed to feelings of not being much of a priority to the other person or elements of dishonesty?

I considered Neptune aspects but here, all the Neptune aspects were easy (Trines and a sextile) and some were even common in my other, more favorably-remembered relationships (Pluto sextile Neptune appears in all. Interesting recurring theme.) So I'm kinda stumped as to what specifically the composite chart warned of here beyond maybe all those Lilith squares.