posted January 21, 2004 09:09 PM         

Well she wanted to go over some things with me ahead of time so I can think about it and go to certain schools to see what they're like before the IEP so I won't go into the meeting clueless. There are a lot of options and I'm just as confused as I was before.

There is regular kindergarten which she thinks isn't a good idea.

There is regular kindergarten with some support from some therapist or something twice a month. Hardly anything. She doesn't think that's a good idea, either.

There is special ed kindergarten at his currect school with only special ed students - no 'typical' kids as peers.

THEN she talked about the classes at the school right by us and another school that are for exclusively autistic children. she told me to call them up and tell them I have an autistic child and ask to see the classes.

Hunter hasn't even been diagnosed as autistic! This is driving me crazy!! No professional has been able to label him as ANYTHING because he doesn't fit into an autistic, aspergers or anything else profile! He learns the most from the typical peers in his class now. if I put him in a special class with only special ed students that are at a level below him then what is he going to aspire to and how is he going to advance?! WTF am I going to do? I don't think a compltely typical Kindergarten is the best idea because he has his moody days and he's not a completely TYPICAL kid. I don't want to force him into something like that. But he can't go to a special ed class. I don't know about the autistic classes... That's slapping a big label on his forehead just because people can't figure him out.

His teacher has TOLD me he's smarter than all the kids in his preschool class - including the typical kids. He reads at a 1st or 2nd grade level. When he was 2 1/2 he was scoring as a 5 year old in half the tests they gave him. But then he has his issues... for instance yesterday he didn't want to go to school because he wanted to play on the computer here at home. I got him on the bus and when he got to school he gave them a hard time for half an hour because he refused to go into the classroom and wanted to sit outside instead.

or... One of the teacher's assistants had to have knee surgery so she's been out. Hunter likes here and there's a new assistant there. Hunter's not happy with that AT ALL and won't cooperate with her and it sort of ruins his whole day and makes him bitchy to everyone.

I just don't think they'd have the patience to deal with this in a regular kindergarten but he doesn't belong in a special ed class! And if he starts kindergarten in special ed does that mean that's going to be it for the rest of his school life?

i have such a headache.

posted January 21, 2004 09:38 PM         

Well.. on second thought, I would advise you to listen to your intuition on this matter. Decide where *you* feel Hunter would best be educated and then stick to your convictions on the matter. Don't let anyone push you into something you don't feel is right for him.

posted January 22, 2004 04:30 AM         

Ben is in pre-K this year, at a government school, and so far everything is fine - but man, I do not like the idea of it. I would do private for him if I did not pay so much in taxes!

I do not know much about your son, Amber, but I do recall certain references to him in some of your earliest dreams in which it could have been suggested (in my opinion) that he is indeed a special one.

I agree with Harpyr - trust in your intuition. And I agree with you - to hell with the school system!!!

I wish I could offer some real advice. Good luck!

posted January 22, 2004 09:24 AM         

The medical profession and, unfortunately, the teaching profession, are too quick to label our children, and then over-medicate them to make their lives easier. It's a sad situation.

Your child sounds very special. He's an individual who expresses himself, a quality that could be of great benefit when he is an adult. To suppress him so that life is easier for someone else would be a tragedy.

He's young, but he's bright. Perhaps even talking things over with him, letting him have some input into the decision-making process, may help you make your final choice. Perhaps you and he together can visit some of these schools and classes.

posted January 22, 2004 03:50 PM         

How does Hunter act at home? What I mean is, when he is supposed to do something that he doesn't want to do, how do you instruct him to do it? Maybe the teacher needs a little guidence in dealing with Hunter.

I think that the public school system is a big joke and that the majority of teachers don't care because they just can't deal with it. There are many factors, some being that parents will not allow any discipline, so even if the teacher gives the student a "time out" or loss of recess, then the parent is in there yelling at them. Then you have the all the fat cats at the Board of Education, making tons of money, telling the teachers how to vote, yet the money never trickles down to the teachers - so what do you have? Teachers with their hands tied and the students miss out.

My brother is a teacher in Idaho. Their system is different and teachers are awarded raises based on their merit as well as continuing education. The payscale is decent, but if the teacher doesn't perform, their out and replaced with one of the 500 or so teacher on the waiting list trying to get a job in that state. What you end up seeing in a situation like that is the ability to pick some of the top teachers because it is so competitive.

My brother has a Masters and taught for 2 years at a hard nosed private school before getting the job in Idaho. He beat out 170 other teachers for the position, but I think they lucked out. He is an awesome person that cares about his kids.

In any case, we just don't see that anymore. Look at where I live in Maryland. We NEED teachers, but the unions have so much control that they wage is low and they will not offer emergency creditionals for people with vast experience in a chosen field. For example, we have so many biotech companies that we have a glutton of retired chemists and biologists. This state refused to allow them to teach because they did not have that certification, so instead the children are learning chemistry from English majors that have no idea what the periodical table is. LOL..what a joke and they wonder why so many kids fall through the cracks and why this state has such a low test level (with the exception of a few of the very wealthy counties where the top teacher want to work).

We had a friend that was dating a special ed teacher from this area. She and her other teacher friends got drunk ALL the time (like so many of the teachers I knew that graduated from uni's in my area) and they had no problem going to teach the next day with a hangover. In fact, the special ed tramp had the nerve to say 'Hey, I just teach a bunch of retards, like they care".
Oh, my Ex had to hold me back after than comment because she almost went to class the next day missing some front teeth.

posted January 22, 2004 04:05 PM         

pixel ~ lol hysteria!! I'd be at the doctor all the time back then. I think it's sad that most women back then had to resort to a doctor and didn't know how to take care of their 'hysteria' at home on their own!

Ra ~ yeah I wish we could afford a Montessori school or something. Actually the private school I liked cost $19,000 a YEAR. Naturally, that is out of the question. I would homeschool but I really think the social interaction is VERY important for him.

trillian ~ ahhh over medicating the kids. Isn't it crazy that so many of them now supposedly need medications?? oh man... if any teacher suggests I do that to Hunter I think they better appreciate the plus sides to no longer having a head. I do plan on visiting all the classes. I'm making phone calls today

pidaua ~ Hunter seems almost perfectly normal to me at home. I say almost because of his speech delay. But he's up to 5 word sentences now.. it's just some of his words aren't clear yet and when he gets excited he tends to jumble everything up. When he doesn't want to do something I just put on the 'mommy voice' and he'll usually do it although sulk WHILE he's doing it. Or, for instance, I tell him to get out of the bath and he'll say no so I'll say "Okay but only 5 more minutes". When I tell him again 5 minutes later he usually doesn't have a problem with it.

It's just so aggrivating.

He's never had an official IQ test BUT when he was 2 1/2 we took him to the state regional center for testing because I was ONLY concerned about his speech delay. I mean, to me he seemed normal in every other way.

He scored at the level of a 5 year old in half the tests they gave him. The other tests he scored either exactly his age or a 3 or 4 year old. The doctor said he thought Hunter was autistic because he had problems making eyecontact and because he was acting anti-social.

Um.. yeah. Let me tell you why Hunter was ****** off that morning. Hunter usually woke up then at 11am. That morning the appointment was at 9am. I had to wake him up 4 hours early to go and he didn't have any breakfast because he was pissy to begin with. We go to a doctor's office where he's asking him to be in a good mood?? Well that started a bunch of therapists and experts coming to the house. One was his 'play coach' who would just play with him to see how autistic he was. After 3 visits she told me she did NOT know why she was there because there was nothing wrong with him.

Then behaviorial people would come. Hunter would greet them at the door and read to them and talk about Elmo and shock their panties off and they would be confused as to why it said he didn't make eye contact in his record because he did that GREAT and was very social.

He would, in that original set of tests at the office, diliberately not listen to what the doctor wanted him to do. The doctor knew this during some of the tests, though, and he was actually shocked by it. Hunter would do exactly the opposite on a couple tests and look pleased with himself. The doctor couldn't believe it. "Look he's doing it on PURPOSE"

YEAH HE'S NOT A SHEEP!

posted January 22, 2004 04:21 PM         

When my ex was a kid they wanted to put him into special classes because was failing and "acting out" in classes. His mom, a strong and stubborn Taurus, chastized the teachers telling them they were just too stupid to keep him challenged. She got him into the gifted program with the condition that if he did not perform, then it was off to special ed. Guess what, he excelled. Not only that he ended up graduating from college with a degree in Physical chemistry. That is the toughest major around. He chose chemistry because it just "came" to him"..LOL..just brilliant.

He went on to Georgetown dental school, became a dentist, tired of that, became a forensic odontologist / chemist moved up to include serologist and then DNA analyst. Now he he is not only the commander of forensic services, but he is one of the few qualified blood pattern analysis experts on the East Coast. HAH!! So much for special ed!!!

posted January 22, 2004 05:52 PM         

It seems to be the in-thing right now to put anyone who is different and misunderstood, into some kind of "prison". And a prison of the mind can probably be worse than a physical prison, especially to a child who is exhibiting the qualities of a non-conformist. In a world of individuals who conform because of one thing or another, it can be easy to get confused and doubt yourself. A situation with a child like this needs extra care and extra alertness on the part of the person who truly has his best interest at heart; someone who lives for him and knows him.
I remember when I first saw the picture of Hunter that you posted here. As soon as I saw him, I saw in his eyes something magical right there, not buried. You don't want to look in his eyes a couple years from now and think with regret about the magic that used to be in his eyes and the possibilities that were so obvious to everyone who even saw him.
He may learn in a certain way but what he needs is a teacher who can think "outside of the box" and a school who supports your child's individuality-that is a real school.

posted January 22, 2004 05:56 PM         

Montessori Schools offer scholarships and have regular fundraisers involving all families. I recommend looking into it.

Aphrodite

posted January 22, 2004 05:58 PM         

I wanted to also mention looking into Bach Flower Essences, if you haven't already.

Bright Light and Love,

posted January 22, 2004 06:50 PM         

There are knOwflakes who know much more than I do and I would sure appreciate it if they can fill in more!

In the meantime, here is a website you can browse through:
http://www.fesflowers.com/

posted January 22, 2004 09:21 PM         

Aphrodite ~ Vin just got a job again recently. If it stays steady and looks good then I'm going to look into Montessori. There's one right by us.

Jazzebel ~ most of the time Hunter really enjoys going to school. I'm not a terribly social person so I don't have people over really and I don't do the 'moms' groups so school is really the only place he gets to be around more people than just mommy and daddy. He likes playing with the other kids and all. Right now he's in an integrated program with 'typical' kids and kids with slight delays so I don't think kids make fun of him because he's not the only one.

I wouldn't really say he's anti-social. When he was 2 1/2 he was wary of strangers usually and now he is a little but there are times I go out with him where he will just say "HI!" to everyone we pass with a huge grin. He just wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. And if he gets upset he withdraws and trying to prod him out of it usually makes it worse. If he's upset the best thing to do it leave him alone for 10 minutes.

Change seems to upset him in the class room. I guess that's why his teachers also push the autism thing. He doesn't want a subsitute teacher - he wants his usual teacher!

posted January 23, 2004 04:12 PM         

This whole education thing reminds me of a story Osho told ... I will type it out when I get the chance.

posted January 27, 2004 12:42 AM         

Anyhow, the red lines are square and opposition aspects, the blue lines are trines and sextilles. The red triangle that you see on Hunter`s chart is a T-square, i.e. Neptune in the 11th house squares both Mars in the 7th house and the cluster of Venus/Moon/Saturn in the 1st house. Mars and the cluster in 1st house are opposite each other (hence the red line between them).