posted April 21, 2006 11:11 AM         

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest (she won...obviously not on brains...).

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my body,"
-- Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward .

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

And ..

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that
may or may not occur."
-- Al Gore, VP

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
clean air do we need ?"
--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football! l quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor .

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

posted April 21, 2006 11:21 AM         

It was perhaps not him who said:
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

It was perhaps:
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- Dan Quayle

"We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur."
- Dan Quayle

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Dan Quayle

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- Dan Quayle

posted April 21, 2006 12:06 PM         

quote:

---

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"

---

posted April 21, 2006 04:36 PM         

"Facts are stupid things."
- Ronald Reagan

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
- Dan Quayle

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
-George W. Bush

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."
- Vlade Divac, Basketball player

"I don't know all the certain words to word it."
- Vanilla Ice, on why he hired a ghostwriter for his autobiography

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
- Ivana Trump, on her first novel

"I invented the internet".
- Al Gore

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
- Dan Quayle

"Where the hell is Australia anyway?"
- Britney Spears

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole

"You can't just let nature run wild."
- Wally Hickel, former Alaska governor

"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
- Dan Quayle

And the best of them all.......

"Beyond its entertainment value, Baywatch has enriched and, in many cases, helped save lives. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to continue with a project which has has such a significance for so many."
- David Hasselhoff