posted August 15, 2003 12:13 PM              

Crazy thing is the creative part of me hates this other side of me. Especialy knowing how much I would enjoy such bloody work Im not at all happy with my self for these passions. Yet I feel I no longer have any controll over this age old part of my self. As in Ive no choice any more.
This probably all sounds skitzo but,,, realy does seem the parts of my self I once admired have all slowly died.
Unfortinatly I only know how to partialy read a chart. My rising being Aries doesnt give me enough of a explanation for all of this. Maybe all of this isnt even in my chart?
Either way, if someone could take a look at my chart and horoscope to try and find an explanation for this old demon's awakening within me I would realy apreciate it.

posted August 15, 2003 12:28 PM              

I didn't look at your chart, but I do believe I have been through something quite similar... and to make a long story short, my intuition tells me it's possible that a soul piece of yours (or a past life, as some might choose to call it) is 'awakening,' as you have phrased it.

It could be a part of you is diving into some old anger (old memories) from times gone past, and feeling the urge to 'fight it out,' which, in my opinion, is something very important to artists, musicians, creators and such...

If I may share, a few years ago, I re-called a piece of my own life spent as a soldier killed in battle, and YES! oh man, did the urge to fight ever come on me fierce! I too tried to find my way into the military, but was denied due to my eyesight.

In retrospect, it was the best thing, however, because in my creative endeavors as a writer, this fierce 'warrior' side of me not only helped draw out some fabulous artistic creations, but helped me in healing some painful and self-destructive tendencies of mine; in a nutshell, healing the parts of me that HAVE died many times before in battle.

Anyway, as a pacifist personally, I would encourage you to explore this side of you that wishes to fight; honour it, speak to it, listen to it, but try not to jump the gun.

anessene

posted August 15, 2003 01:35 PM            

Sorry I don't have time to fully look at your chart at the moment - I have to get some other things done re the astrology course.

However, I did notice that transiting Pluto has been (and still is) conjunct your natal Neptune. Pluto moves very slowly so you'll have this for a while yet...The good news is that Pluto goes direct at the end of this month. It's currently at 17 degree Sag and your natal Neptune is at 19 Sag - so while Pluto has been retro it's passed over your Neptune for the 2nd time. (2nd hits are usually the most noticeable). With this transit Pluto can "kill" your dreams, faith, fantasties etc. Pluto can "destroy" things - he wants change. He looks for potential problems....and then forces you to deal with them.... Pluto isn't gentle...he doesn't care - he just makes changes. The changes do turn out for the best in the long run
Sue

PS: You also have both Mars & Uranus transiting your 11th house (hopes and wishes). Mars will be making you want to take action with regards to your hopes and wishes (also re any groups you are involved with and your friends) and Uranus as we all know is unpredictable, bringing sudden and surprising changes.

PPS: Transiting Neptune is currently at 11 degree Aqua - so conjunct your natal Sun (10 degree). Neptune is currently retro so moving towards it's 2nd hit on your Sun. Neptune turns direct at 10 degree 24 min Aqua on 23rd Oct. So again this is a long transit for you. I use koch house sytem which puts your Sun in your 11th house - so you're having a lot of transitary action in that house at the moment.

posted August 23, 2003 03:07 PM              

Are you frustrated wanting to be productive in life, but don't know how? The military can sometimes be the easy answer. Think twice before you join. Some people I know have had great military careers, others I know used the military as a last ditch effort because they were frustrated at themselves and did not know any other option.

____________
Do I remember past lives? I sometimes find it difficult remembering what I did yesterday.

posted August 25, 2003 02:19 PM              

Kat- "make Love not war",,,if I do have a choice of course I prefer to have a career making art.,,,, Im not sure if I have to many options left now. Especialy since as Ive already staded I dont feel like Im even the one making the choices over these last few months. Desperation concerning money and finances is only a small part of it.

posted August 25, 2003 02:57 PM              

Your ascendant is aries which conflicts strongly with loving pisces and peacemaking Aquarian;
Ascendant in Aries, Mars in the Eleventh House
Aries is the first sign of the zodiacal belt and its natives seem also desirous of being "first" in all activities with which they happen to be involved. The cardinality of the sign makes you extremely active and capable of displaying ambition, impulsiveness, courage, and boldness in order to satisfy your desire for prominence in the world.
The general course of your life will be filled with many 'ups' and 'downs' and changes conforming very much with the psychological nature of your temperament. Whether you triumph or not in life depends on your ability to develop your most positive inborn qualities and, simultaneously, exert some control over your less favorable characteristics, such as a lack of prudence, and a certain disregard for the feelings and opinions of others.
Aries gives a tendency for its natives to be inclined to politics and public work. You should be successful (or at least attempt to be so) in any work or activity that necessitates pioneering ideas and/or a militant disposition. You also appear to have an ardent attitude in any project that somehow or another involves new concepts or original work and in which you are given a position of leadership. One of your problems is that in your love for achievement in novel projects you tend to destroy old concepts and former contributions which would, perhaps, have been useful for your endeavors. Impulsive, critical, despising mean or dubious acts, you will create many excellent friendships but also important enemies. Your life is rich in passion and ardent love. In sexual matters you are quick, aggressive, and to the point. You also are a lover of pleasures, which you feel with a bright, open, and sparkling character.

The eleventh house is the house of hopes, aspirations, wishes, friendships and general luck. There will be a tremendous amount of energy dedicated to matters concerning your friends (or friends that turn into enemies). The relations with people within your social life are not altogether satisfactory and there are contentions among acquaintances. You must control your impulses and out-spoken ways to improve this behavior.

By the way, mars is nearer than ever to earth, especially this wednesday!! Look out!!

I also did a travel chart on you, the north west Canada near Repulse Bay, is a huge energy source for you, with almost all of your planets and aspects crossing over in that area. Maybe go on holiday there, you'll be suprised!!

posted August 25, 2003 03:21 PM              

Not a bad summary at all. As far as Mars goes,,, you aint kidding! I think its afecting me alot more then most other peaple.

Either way, this wensday should be interesting world wide!

posted August 25, 2003 07:58 PM              

Do you wanna fight anyone/anything in particular or do u just have an urge to fight? Sorry i didnt find anything stick out in u're chart, but then again im not a qualified astrologer.

Cat. Pluto transit has definitely KILLED my dreams and aspirations. Thank God it's only there temporarily.

posted August 25, 2003 08:37 PM              

Have u tried prayer, meditation, or medication (j/k)??

posted August 26, 2003 01:55 AM              

Can u clarify what u mean by:

"what happened in my life may have only been the material plain's manifestation of something that happend or had to be from the higher plains."

For me Saturn in Virgo (5th hs) has had a big influence in my life. We both have this as a singleton because saturn is the only planet in the earth sign (virgo) so energy in our chart is focused here. You have saturn in the 6th hs. ??In vedic astrology, saturn in the 6th hs has something to do with destroyin the enemy?? Maybe u should check that out.

posted August 26, 2003 03:47 AM              

Saturn in the 6th??? I dont know,,, I havent come acrost any nterpretaion like that yet. I will totaly look into t though. I need to get better books.

A gemini rising version of me,,HHHHMMMMMMMMM sounds eqauly as interesting as my combo in the least!

Deep- Welcome to LindaLand.

I think its more like 60,000 years that Mars has been this close to us though.Preety intense times isnt it!

posted August 26, 2003 06:45 PM              

What is this “something big” that just happened in that other plain? And are u sure it specifically manifests itself into u goin to war?? War is not the answer, unless it’s in defense. Unfortunately doesn’t look like the world is headed any other direction.

posted August 26, 2003 11:50 PM              

In a nutshell,,,,every thing that happens here [in our material plain], is a mirror reflection of what goes on above. And vice versa. "Above" pertains to higher plains, dimensions, points in the illusion of time, the other side of our solar systems asteroid belt and many other things can be "above".

The wiser beings of above dont so much look down at war as they just dont recomend it,,because they are aware that war is a prmative action. Yet war and agresive action has existed in different areas of the Uni-Verse as long as it has existed.

"This somethng big that happened", hard to say as of yet exactly what could have happened up there. My over whelming urges to be on the front line of our next war are more like,,,,only the outcome of what ever happened to me above[or n other points of time],and what took place n my personal life a few months ago.

Let me put try and put it even more simply-
Life time after life time for about a 1000 Earth years now my soul has been involved in almost all of the greater wars and freedom rebelions. Usualy at the top of one side or another as a key player.

And I have come to believe that these last few lives Ive actualy[or atleast a part of me], wanted not to get involved n milltary action so I could persue other careers of interest. Then at the last minuit [rite before the "battle cry"] something happens to me that fills me with so much scorn and rage that I cant find any other safe outllet for the anger then to go into the war. And from their on the rest of each of these lives are consumed by a millitary career weather I wish it or not, except of course for the lives I fought for the "loosing side".

Ive also good reason to believe that its been the same soul these last few lives that's installed this madening anger into my heart.

posted August 27, 2003 01:47 AM              

If ure so convinced, then maybe u should join the marines. Just what are ure intentions? Do u intend to partake in the war just to unleash ure anger from past lives?

posted August 27, 2003 03:00 AM              

What I realy need to do is work more towards past life regresion,,,to get a karmic total recall.

At first I imagine being in the infantry will get alot of my anger and rage out, more so for what has happened to me presently.

Then I have plenty of ideas for what to do after they pay for my schooling for a millitary career.