posted September 07, 2003 03:43 PM              

I'm sorry, Pid. You don't have to reply if you'd rather not. I'm just feeling a little disillusioned because the two of you are so well matched, astrologically speaking.
If THAT can't save the day, what the hell can? Doesn't anything last anymore?

Ooh-woe Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good ol days....

posted September 08, 2003 10:52 AM            

Sorry about the delay. I have been pretty buried at work and took the weekend to get out and about (I went to the Ren Festival out here in MD on Saturday and then to a BBQ on Sunday).

Well, Mr. Leo was let go from here on Thursday. We have a new CEO (yeah, that makes 4 in 1 year and 3 in the past 6 months). The new CEO is a Pisces that used to on the Board of Directors (another member of the "old boys club"). Well, he is nothing more than a puppet for the former Taurus CEO (who is now the Director of Science and remains Chairmen of the Board).

We have kept the Aquarius CEO (who is the CEO / President of my division), but rumor is he will be fired on Friday. In the meantime, we keep him and his $250,000 / year costs for reasons that I am not sure of. He has been trying to get me fired for the past 6 months, but every attempt has failed. Recently, he has neglected to invite me to required meetings and failed to notify me of cancelled meetings.

As far as Mr. Leo. I was crushed that we let him go. He and I made a great team, working wise and personally, and could get much done. The Aqua-CEO knew that he could severely damage the product line and my ability to get it exited out of the market properly by firing Mr. Leo. Of course Mr. Leo took it extremely hard. We both realized that this would prevent us from any contact until I could move out West.

I want to move out West, but I am worried about a few things. First off, he has two exes (one who is not totally an ex-wife yet) and he has a kid (not a problem for me), but he is deeply rooted in his small town in Idaho. Everyone knows hispast and like a typical Leo, he has experienced a lot of jealousy because he is so outgoing and popular. In any case, I am worried about that small town. So, before we could really address what was going on, it was sort of severed for us by this place.

When he was let go, he was upset, understandably, but I had warned him that I felt it was coming. In one sense, he started to give up about 3 months ago. He wasn't working as hard as he could and really kind of neglected some of his responsibilities. Almost as a way of giving the old middle finger to the company. It bit him in the rear and now he is paying for it.

What bothers me is that even when things were bad, I still put in 100% (I used to put in about 150% but I wasn't going to give that). I felt that in a way, I was carrying him when he would get into his moods. He started to drink more when we were out on the road and the last time he made a fool out of himself and he offended me. He was getting ****** about the guys flirting with me so he threw himself at some blonde woman. I knew he wouldn't cheat, but the fact that he was trying to get me angry and jealous made me furious. I was quiet about it until he started purring into her ear, loud enough for me to hear, and saying some of the things reserved for me. Like pet names.. and how he teases me about being high maintenance.

Anyway, I got him back to the hotel and back into bed and he conveniently forgot what a total a$$ he was to me. Sometimes, I have a hard time getting over certain things.

In any case, we have the residence issue, the ex-issue, the getting me jealous issue, the drinking issue, the work issue all to deal with. At one point, he was angry at me for what happened. I told him that I am working on things here on this end, but he needs to help me out. Of course, he will go into his cave for a while and maybe he will resurface with an idea, or maybe I just won't be waiting for him.

So that is the long, long, long......sad tale, of the Leo and the Sag (working in a Pisces company). LOL....we are still talking, I know this is hard on him.

Any advice Lioneye? I would really appreciate it and thank you for asking and caring. Everyone here means so much to me!!!

I do agree that he and I are very well matched Astrologically, I think that we can weather this storm. It is like Linda Goodman said. When souls are destined to be together, they will find a way. Well, maybe Mr. Leo and I will have to wait until our next chance in another life or maybe this is the catalyst to get us moving. It has been very hard on our relationship to deal with so much from a work place. There has been more than 3 times that we almost lost this project and our jobs. Maybe us moving on, getting different jobs and keeping in touch will be the motivation for us getting things together. He is still pushing for me to send my resume to the winery in Washington (which I will) and he really wants me out west.

Don't lose hope Lioneye. Things always work out for the best (I truly believe so).
Thanks again.

posted September 08, 2003 12:58 PM            

I hope things work out for you, pidaua.
I have no advice for you, you're an evolved soul who knows how and when to follow her heart (oh but love makes us deliciously foolish doesn't it? )...I just wanted to wish you well!

posted September 08, 2003 01:12 PM              

Well, G'Luck with yo Man Pid!

posted September 08, 2003 03:19 PM              

Ok, now let's separate the wheat from the chaffe.

Mr. Leo got worried about all the men flirting with you, perhaps thinking you might get the attitude "Heh heh... I could have any man in this room. Why am I stuck with HIM?" So, he felt it necessary to make you feel a little threatened as well. (titt*for*tat says the Cat.)
Or, he was simply saying "You better start paying more attention to ME, or you'll be sorry"
(and if you ARE neglecting to pay attention to him, eventually you will be sorry, if you care that is, cuz he'll find someone who WILL pay attention to him eventually)
That doesn't sound like a terminal situation, just a little cat and mouse game. No harm done, right? At least no permanent harm. Understand WHY he was doing that with that woman. My bet is he felt neglected or threatened and his pride was hurt as well.

Next issue. He doesn't work for the same company as you anymore. So that means you have to arrange to see him on your days off, which are probably scarce, aside from the weekend. And the company won't pick up the tab for airfare anymore. That could get expensive. That company sounds like a sinking ship to me anyways, so why are still there again? I forget what your reasons were. It doesn't sound like there would be much love lost there if you leave.

Anyway, Pid, both you and Mr. Leo are probably very employable in most markets, so I doubt if finding another job will be a big problem for either of you. But where should you be looking?

I think the two of you need to decide where this relationship is going, and you need to decide soon.
Then, if you mutually decide you don't want to lose one another, the next step is deciding on a mutually agreable city/town to live and work in. The next phase of this diabolical plan...you BECOME A NORMAL COUPLE. *cringe*. Perhaps consider getting a place together. *cringe*. I realize these things shouldn't be taken lightly, and who the hell am I to put that out there, but really. I not suggesting you sell your souls to the devil. Yes, it's meant to be a permanant merger, but God knows you still have escapes routes if it turns out to be a bad idea. I say, just DO IT. See how it goes. It may be just the thing you both need. This whole company firing extravaganza may be just the catalyst you two needed to step closer together.

Will there ever be a more opportune time? This is whole situation is adding up to be your window of opportunity to take this relationship to the next level. But someone has to take the reigns. Someone has to get in touch with their feelings about the other, and push one way or another.

It's transformation time for this relationship, Pid. Either kiss and say goodbye, or forge ahead. I say forge ahead at full throttle and don't look back. Start living your life together already for heaven sake (and the sake of that soul who's going to be your kiddo, and is getting a little impatient waiting for you two to get it together LOL..sorry had to toss that in there)

posted September 08, 2003 03:30 PM              

i know we don't chat with each other much. i just wanted to wish you all the best, and you will have all of it because you're a smart woman with pluto conjunct her ascendant

you have some very powerful transits going on in your chart. i have a good feeling things will turn out for the best in the end. a few transits are making you fight with old ghosts, and its best to take care of them before plunging ahead to newly undiscovered endeavors.

love,

posted September 08, 2003 03:43 PM              

It's a tough road but it does work, it take some time though. I have seen a Libra/Libra team work very well, but he had a wife when they met, and she was not his equal at work. They are happy but his children were very unhappy, it's tough with a child especially sons who look up to their father.

Can you get a vacation to spend time with Mr. Leo in idaho at his home so you can really get to know him? Without being in a man's home for a while, it's impossible to really know him, and then spend a couple of weekends traveling with no business purpose in mind so that you can get to know his vacation personality? They are two different personalities and once you have committed, it's very painful to see the other one if it lets you down. I highly recommend doing both before making any life decisions because you owe it to yourself to do that.

As for work, it's a separate issue right now because you are still working out what the problem is. Once you identify the problem with your work you can fix it, but allow the love life to take care of itself without too much emotional work from yourself. Mr. Leo has to be there for your emotional satisfaction when you need him, not the other way around. You are not there to pay attention to him right now. Once you have been to his home, and spent time with him on a vacation, you can see if you two click.

If you do then talk to him about your work life. Do not under any circumstances take any advice from him right now about where you should work or live until you know how he will fit into your life. He is not objective, and neither are you.

When you are together and it's clear, it's not working because you see no hope and know that you would be better off and happier apart, then do not talk to him about your work. Wait a few months and then resume a friendship. There is no reason not to be friends.

But right now it's too unclear to decide on a relationship, we all want the lover to hold up his end but sometimes that's not possible.

As for Jealousy I have always said, once jealous I'm out simply because it's about attention. The need to say something that he couldn't normally speak about. I prefer a more verbal approach.
It's saying here is something I'm doing and you have to react to it because I have the control. He obviously feels out of control due to issues in his own life, it's got nothing to do with you. He has a problem separating himself from you emotionally and that makes him feel uncomfortable.

Another reason for a little physical separation.
Respect is about the self respect you have too. It's about like you said, not forgetting what he just did. It's about the RE, remembering and asking for forgiveness and getting it. RE as in back again and again, the same as before and remembering what you do and do not like. It's about standards for yourself and not having to Forget.

It's about saying I see the way you want to forget this, but that's not all I see, and I want to forget too but that hurts. So you can you save me from this pain of having to forget and remember? What self disgust I would feel if I had to love you and hate you at the same time, can you stop that too?

He'll get it once but if he keeps doing it then all you can ask for is Peace of Mind Pidua.

posted September 09, 2003 12:58 PM              

So, Pid?....

Ok. I've come to terms with the possibly that things may have run their course for you two. It's a shame, but that's life.
It was nice while it lasted, and you two have nothing but fond memories to bring away with you. So, it's not all bad.

I have a feeling you haven't posted again in here because you're in a state of uncertainty...

I hope the wisdom that guides you when offering your spin on other people's dilemmas will guide you just as clearly here.

(ever notice how the clarity is so much better when it's someone else's struggle?)

posted September 09, 2003 03:53 PM            

Lioneye,

The reason I didn't post is that I have been so busy that I just haven't been around. I am working on this insane legal argument for the Taurus that is bordering on gross exaggeration. Basically, we will be lucky in we get any damages at all and may even have to pay our opponents legal fees (we're talking about a loss of over $6.0 Million)

I do need to get out of this company and I am starting to look for another job. I think I can have one secured within the next 1-2 months. In the middle of all this we have that new CEO, the pisces, who is definetly of the unevolved sort. I am not sure if we attracts top managers that are sneaky, but the Karma in this place is really wicked. This new one is a puppet.

Anyway, we had the exit strategy meeting on the product and they want me to humiliate myself to try and steal Mr. Leo's contacts. I will not do that, not only because of my own personal ethics, but because I am loyal to the people I have worked with and what they have done. I will not cut Mr. Leo out of the commissions that are due to him, not after what he has done for the company. Now, I do understand he flounders once in a while, but if any person under the constant threat of being fired would also have a hard time dealing. Man, this place is a real whirlwind.

Mr. Leo and I had a long talk yesterday and today. We both agree that this place has put a strain on our relationship, but it made us stronger as well. We also know that there was a major force that brought us together. I urged him to take some of the other offers being thrown in his way with some great companies. He can finally have the chance to start his own consulting business, which is what he always wanted. Leo's are so much happier being the big boss. In his mind, I will someday be working for or with him ( I am sure he would like the former. LOL). We always talked about doing just that, starting our own agriculture consulting business together or he would do it and I would partner at a later date. We have a close associate with his own biz (he is a perfect example of a wonderfully evolved Pisces) that is retiring within the next few years.

As far as me neglecting him? LOL...never, that is why he felt so bad about what he did. He was just doing the testing game. Truthfully, our way of relating on an affection, attention and sexual level is totally in synch. We never had a complaint that one wanted it too much or not enough or didn't give attention. I think he sensed that something was wrong under the surface just like I did.

Natasha,

I totally agree with you about the self-esteem thing. I think that Mr. Leo always felt he had the job because of me (which is kind of true) and that he needed to prove himself. I think this company was an excellent stepping stone for him (and me as well) and I am sure things will work out professionally.

For myself, I am just taking the time in exploring my options. I can't make any decisions regarding emotional ties or what lies ahead, other than what needs to be done. It almost like when things really start to go crazy, that's when a certain calm takes over me. All I can do is sit back and meditate on the right course of action. My career has always been important to me and I have to follow that path to where I will be happy. If it takes me to Mr. Leo, then all the better, if not, then it wasn't meant to be.

One thing is clear. I have to get out of this place. I will never grow as a person, professionally or spiritually, so it's past it usefulness.

Aphrodite,

I always appreciate your words. You seem to come up with something so direct and true, that it just blows me away. Yes, I know that I am getting hit with some weirdness. It seems like life is teaching me to follow the advice that I give to my own friends and family about following the right path. Old Ghosts? Yeah, that is for sure - last night this whole thing gripped me and I woke up crying, but I was ready for the fight today.

I do have to deal with some of my issues as well. It's funny, I sat next to a retired Psychiatrist who was also into alternative medicine / shamanism when I flew from Idaho to Phoenix last month. He picked up right away about me being "the little helper" always trying to take care of everyone, even at my own expense. He also said I was a pleaser, wanting to make everyone happy, but that I never let anyone get to close to me. Once that happened, I was liable to run. He was right. I have thought so much about that and it's true. Most of my life I have done what was expected of me, in my own rebellious manner, but still managed to do what pleased everyone else.

Now it's time for me to get on with it.

posted September 24, 2003 03:30 PM            

Yeah, I get that alot. It was pretty funny growing up because his friends had crushes on me and my friends (even though they were 4 years older) had crushes on him. That photo doesn't do him justice.

He is a fellow Sag, Scorp Moon, Sag Merc, Aqua Venus, Aries Mars. He actually has a lot of fire and water planets but is an Earth singleton.

We get along well and he is my bestfriend. I love his little boy, my little scorp nephew. He is totally bright and laughs all the time.

posted September 24, 2003 03:36 PM            

Seems that fate or destiny is on the side of Mr. Leo and I. Within 10 days of letting him go, the company decided to reinstate him and we are back on the project working on a licensing agreement.

I am in the process of either moving to another division (away from the Taurus) or taking a nice severance package when the product is transferred to the new company. I may even consult for the new one or take a position elsewhere.

So, things are still a bit weird, but it's funny how life works. Here we both wondered how two people who seemed destined to be together would have things change so abruptly only to have the test end in 10 days. But it proved a lot to us, basically what we mean to each other.

That doesn't mean there isn't a lot of crap to deal with and we are still untangling some of the issues. I think some of our problems deal with my Saturn squaring his Sun, Moon, Merc and conjuncting his ASC. While his Pluto does a number on my Sun, Venus, Mars and conjuncts my ASC.

posted September 24, 2003 03:41 PM            

Sometimes when I smile really big my head looks like a basketball. LOL....My bro teases me about it often.

I have an Aries moon, which may lend to my overall shape of face, but there is no Cancer in my chart.

My brother things astrology is kind of weird. He and I have major philosophical discussions (he and I both graduated from Concordia University - he went to the one in Nebraska and I was in Oregon). Needless to say, our backgrounds are deeply Lutheran, but we are also American Indian, so I lean towards the latter and have a more open belief system.

posted September 25, 2003 11:03 AM            

In reality, I have everyone here to thank. People on this forum seem to be so open and caring. I have sought advice and received it from so many of you and it has been a major source of strength.

I just hope that I have done the same for other.

posted September 25, 2003 11:35 AM            

Thanks Oxy, I always enjoy reading your posts too!!

I do have a huge smile and mouth, which helps contribute to the over all effect of the Aries moon. I also make a GREAT monkey face. I will have to get a pic of it and post it someday. I used to do it all the time to make my brother laugh when he was sad.