posted November 20, 2003 05:03 PM              

I've been learning so much here, you guys! I really love reading this site. A lot of times someone posts a question about something I would never have thought about, and then there comes a ton of answers, often with links to detailed sites on topic. I often spend HOURS reading through everything! (so my marriage suffers, so what...lol)

Because of all the reading I've been doing, and all the different paths I've looked down from all the questions, I'm starting to realize for myself a lot about myself. For me, this is the most primary use of astrology...to see what you have and what you don't and to make the most of what your life can be.

So I was reading about the north (true) node, and mine is 1st house sag, and this hit really home when I read that this life's work is to learn to assert yourself. And been reading about chiron, I have a 6th house aries chiron, coupled with a 7th house taurus moon. According to Bob Marks this can signify danger of an eating disorder (which I fight with), as a way of dealing with NOT asserting myself...i.e. I get angry about someone else (boss, hubby etc) and because I don't trust myself to stand up to them, I need to take the anger out on someone else, moi. I'm also a scorp rising, with a strongly placed Pluto in the 11th. I think this makes me VERY sensitive to peoples moods...which is one big reason I have trouble standing up for myself. I tend to think, well I can deal for myself with my emotions, but if I say this or that it will really anger/upset/hurt them and there's nothing to do to change it, so I'd rather have something that I can take care of.

whew! so, there is a point to this post, if you got this far lol! My question to you guys is, if you are really sensitive to people's emotions, but you really want to start asserting yourself, how should one go about that? Is there a way to learn NOT to feel other peoples emotions so much? And maybe someway to learn to shake off other people's crap emotions so they stop contaminating mine. For me the hardest area is hubby and boss. I really want to grow and want to mature, but I find that I'm stuck here. Wanting out of the devils circle (don't let anyone else get mad at you/take the anger out on yourself/binge/feel like crap so you let people take stuff out on you which makes you mad/take the anger out on yourself...and on and on), but still so stuck in it that I can't find the door out.

Any hints/advice/thoughts?

posted November 20, 2003 05:16 PM              

i'm in a similar boat as you, being sensitive to other people's emotions and motivations. i have cancer rising and moon in the 8th house. i can't help it, people like us just KN W. LOL.

my north node is in the 3rd house in virgo, so i'm suppose to learn how to communicate with folks in a way that they can understand me. i'm also suppose to learn how to filter out the things that are worth my time and energy.

for you, north node is sagittarius? try to think in terms of the big picture. gemini and scorpio are excellent with immediate details and emotions around them. it takes a sagittarius to snort fire out of their nostrils and burn off stuff that clutters up the subjects we need to focus on. hehe, just being light and silly, hope you don't take offense.

a 7th house south node in gemini may tend to lose themselves in the details of partnerships. this takes up a lot of energy that would drive anyone crackers

"if you are really sensitive to people's emotions, but you really want to start asserting yourself, how should one go about that?"

for you, think big---shrink to fit.

"Is there a way to learn NOT to feel other peoples emotions so much?"

yes. remember these emotions do not belong to you, they belong to someone else. take account to what you own in your personal space.

posted November 21, 2003 01:23 AM              

In any case, as you said you struggle with an eating disorder, I succumbed to a similar psychological phenomenon known as Deliberate Self Harm Syndrome (or just self-mutilation, for short). That was a very frightening time in my life, but thankfully I have gotten over my problems, and I guess I have learned to block out many of the negative emotions I once soaked up unconsciously.

I have also learned to stand up for myself much more than I once did, but I really think that, in my case, it was more something that came with a couple more years than something I taught myself. As far as the excess negative energy I do soak up (and, during the holidays, I'm ALWAYS stressed out when I go shopping.... all that tension and stress from so many people I just can't help but pick up), I tend to do some meditation/visualisations to cleanse myself of all the emotions that are not mine.

Well, I hope this helps, Nackie... at least you know you are not alone. Love and Light to you!

posted November 21, 2003 05:06 AM              

Honestly, it's just been the past few weeks that I realize it is because I can feel peoples emotions that makes me give in. I always just thought it was keeping the peace (I just read somewhere (Dafs site?) that geminis are the born peace-keepers), but that never explained to me the cloyingness I would get in my chest.

Aphrodite, you had a lot of good points. I loved the "think big, shrink to fit" lol. I'm gonna watch my son and see what I can use from his behaviour (he's a sag). He definetly knows when to draw the line, doesn't let anyone in his personal space when he feels he can't deal with it and is the WORST hothead and stubborn to boot, but although he gets angry fast it's, like you said, a dragon snorting fire and singeing all the bad things in the way, and then it's over and dealt with. Time to start in on that path, I guess, though it seems so very strange and hard to me.

Just gotta get over the wet palms and crushing chest at the thought of purposely going against people's will!

Thanks for the help, I've read the posts a few times and am keen to start--anyone offer to step in for my first confrontation? lol