posted December 05, 2003 09:52 AM              

first of all, a very big hug to you.. it's a lousy situation to be in..

*sighs* I'm not sure as to what to say, I don't have any answers, but what I do know is that a Virgo and Scorpio match is a good one. In Linda's books I read about these two, as if their lives together was perfect, a fairytale indeed. But nothing's perfect, we all know that..

People need space to breathe, in any kind of relationship. He ought to understand and respect that. Try reversing it: tell him to imagine himself being suffocated. No one can keep that up. He needs to trust you, trust the match you two make and let you live. You can't always stick by his side, every couple needs their time apart. How else do you keep things to talk about? My advice? Talk about it with'm, try make him understand that he'll have to change his ways a bit.. if you both still want to try this again, both still love each other, all you need to do is learn from your mistakes and do your best not to make them again...

I really hope this works out, dear, my best buddy Scorpio and I (Virgo ^^) have a marvellous communication going, so I have good hope about this. Keep your chin up and let me know how things went... if you'd like, that is.

posted December 05, 2003 12:39 PM              

No worries, though - you have your xerox-copy-fluid-running-through-your-veins Aqua Moon...I bet you'd do OK.

posted December 05, 2003 01:59 PM            

A Virgo, like the other mutables, cannot be kept in a box. You suffered the perverbial nursery ryhme "Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater....had a wife and couldn't keep her....put her in a PUMPKIN SHELL and there he kept her very well."

posted December 05, 2003 03:12 PM              

Hopefully you'll get over the pain and find yourself a guy who'll give you all of that comfy stability, without the stifling possessiveness...maybe a nice Aquarian? (BUWAHAHAHA!)

posted December 05, 2003 03:23 PM              

I have faith that you will heal. Work through the anger the best you can. Always be aware in those moments "who" is in charge during those moments, yOu or the past.

Lots of love and light to you.

posted December 05, 2003 03:33 PM              

*raises eyebrow*

posted December 05, 2003 04:41 PM              

I've posted in need of help as well, although our situations are quite different, I am currently separated from a "good friend".

However, I can relate to your situation in other ways. One thing I have to get out of the way, although it may not be your situation but I must get out of the way. I'm a 42-year-old, never married, attractive and smart girl. This lifetime has been rough for lasting romance. Several in earlier years were plagued with domestic violence.

It doesn't start off that way. It starts off VERY romantic. That's the first warning, when the guy wants to sweep you off your feet RIGHT AWAY. You have to pace yourself and slow it WAY down.

The second thing is when you are being told everything you want to hear. Don't think guys don't know how to do this well. They may not feel emotions like us, but they really know what buttons to keep pressing when you've laid your cards out. If you are willing to throw out the logic, they are willing to do the same, which by the way, only makes it that much easier for them.

The third thing is how they treat other people. If you think it is fine for them to be judgemental about everyone else, especially if it is in YOUR best interest, you are giving yourself too much credit. If he is judgemental towards others, he is a judgemental person.

Now, I know what you're thinking... if you bring this up to him and make him aware, it is your way of loving him and then you'll give him time to see it YOUR way. He'll pretend to make the effort, then when his screw up is too obvious he'll apologize profusely. You'll forgive him and the viscous cycle begins darlin...

I've volunteered at a domestic violence shelter in order to help others who are on the same path I was on. If you stop by one of those places and just tell them you need some brochures for "a friend", and read them, you'll see, there is a definite PATTERN etched in stone.

If you have the courage to walk in and explain your situation, do so. But I have the feeling you'll be too ashamed, and if I'm right, don't wait around for HIM to make you feel like Cinderella again for a little while. That's just part of the the cycle.

I may be wrong about this guy, but I'd rather side on safety than not. I don't know your exact situation. But if the jealousy itself is the culprit, just replace that word with "drugs" or "alchohol". How do you define a drug addict or alchoholic? When their behavior is interfering with a good life.

And so yep, you guessed it... YOU would be the ENABLER.

Bottom line. DON'T feel shame. One in three women have been or ARE in these emotionally or physically abusive relationships. That's why we HAVE to stick together baby!!

Back to astrology, I'm familiar with both the essence of Virgo and Scorpio. I have Venus and Pluto in Virgo and I have Mercury, Mars & Neptune in Scorpio. It's like day and night in one person. The negative side of Virgo is we catch ourselves frustrated at why others just don't do things our way. The negative side of Scorpio is putting our feelings WAY ahead of others.

The good sides of you may come together again, but not by ignoring the bad and trust me, in this life, no matter how much pain your are in for whatever reason, there are no free lunches. That goes for HIM too...

The 2 best books I've read which have SAVED me when it comes to understanding and dealing with difficult issues with men are:

"Men Who Can't Love" by Carter & Sokol
and
"If Men Could Talk" by Gratch

They are both easy reads. READ THEM - they will save you in a thousand different ways!!

with much love and support,

.gloria

posted December 08, 2003 02:30 AM              

I really didn't expect to have so many people helping me out.

Robyn, I'll surely keep you posted about myself.

Recently I saw him uexpectedly, from a distance. He was with his friends. I saw him smiling and that was something that I saw after a long time. Ya, you got it right. He puts up a frown whenever he's with me. But today when I saw him smile, I just felt that I could give the world for it. So I've decided that come what may, I'll stay away from him if that can make him smile. Please do let me know if my decision was the right one.

posted December 08, 2003 09:36 AM              

...and just because a scorpio doesnot satisfy a leos false and ridiculous ego doesnot mean you misguide people saying negative stuff about them!

pocco, scorpio and virgo are supposed to be pretty good together. its just that this scorpio cannot handle his emotions for you and so is possessive for you. bu then you broke without trouble. and i'm sure he doesnot keep on buggin you like a leo boyfriend would or make you feel as if its "its all your fault" like a leo guy. so take my advise. forget about love and just decide to be each other's loyal friends. and you will know what lies beneath him. trust me, 5 years with a scorpio and then a break up means either
1. he feels terrible more than you but respects your individuality or
2. like 'some' bad scopios he is playing dice with you!

anyway, for a virgo he is far better than it gets than a leo.

keep the faith...

posted December 08, 2003 12:50 PM            

I think that Archer and N have some growing up to do. On behalf of us grown up Saggies, we do not hate Leo's nor do we think they are filled with ridiculous pride.

Here is some advice to N and Archer,

Just because you have been rejected or angered by one person that happens to be a Leo, GET OVER IT. MOVE ON! There are plenty of other people out there to meet. I am ashamed that a fellow Archer would base their decision on only a few Leo's.

Let me add this:

posted December 08, 2003 01:28 PM              

But every sign comes in all shapes and sizes, even Saggies!

posted December 08, 2003 04:25 PM            

Hmmm, looks like we all kind of figured out that one huh? I think N / Archer will probably try to either add more "persona's" or change to a new one all together.

posted December 09, 2003 05:51 AM              

I'm glad you'll keep me posted *smiles* but I'm not sure whether or not you made the right decision about staying away from him. My first wonder when you say that is: what do YOU want? If you had the chance to have him back, with the possible solution to your problem, would you want that? If the answer is 'no', then you made the right decision, but if you're not sure... or if it's 'yes, I would want him back' then I still think you should consider to talk it over with him. Find a solution. I know Scorps can be possessive, but they're also very smart people, and surprisingly understanding once they see what the problem is ^_^ so I guess it's no different with your Scorp. Keep me posted, I'll check as often as I can, hun.. and I hope you're feeling ok.

Love,

posted December 15, 2003 09:25 AM              

I did try following your advice. I tried talking things out with him but it didn't turn out to be pleasant. He refused to listen to me and the communication turned out to be one sided. He accused me for the break up and sid that all these years everything that I said or did made him sour.

I tried to tell him that I did make tremendous efforts to keep the relationship stable but he didn't acknowledge my words at all. Moreover, he even told me that in the meantime he has been going out with other girls. I really didn't know how to react at that. I don't even know whether that's a lie or not. But at the end of it he told me that he really didn't want to meet me anymore.

Its been 3 days, I haven't called him up since. But I've feeling terrible inside. Somehow I have this strong feeling that whatever he said is not correct. I mean that probably he didn't mean to say those things at the very first place but he said them all just because he wanted to hurt me.

I'm very confused and miserable.