posted April 19, 2004 09:24 AM            

What's up? Not much here. So did you finally pay your parent's electric bill? Or are you and your family going to live like the Amish?

Let's get together for a cup of something delicious and some interesting conversation. Give me a call tonight or tomorrow. My number is ___-___-____. I'm a pretty busy person, and I can't guarantee that I'll be available, but give a try. And please call before 11 PM because that's when my mom makes me go to sleep.

J-----

posted April 19, 2004 10:04 AM              

he's not humble is he? IS he sexy at least??

Yes it's good to have more friends to talk to, especially since you are a Mercury driven Virgo. Taureans can be clingy though, and so you will have to be clear about your intentions with the Gemini. Say I have a boyfriend right off unless you expect the Taurus to try and kiss you.

Taureans love to kiss, and if he takes you out, he may try and that would be awkward. Better to stab the problem up front. On the other hand if you expect that you will get it, Taureans like to please.

29 is not too old, but keep in mind he will expect a lot more from you,

posted April 19, 2004 10:14 AM            

quote:

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but keep in mind he will expect a lot more from you

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quote:

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you will have to be clear about your intentions with the Gemini

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posted April 19, 2004 12:11 PM            

How old are you? Is he really living at home with his parents?

At 29 years of age, most people are looking for a stable relationship that will lead to a commitment. Is that something that you want? I don't see Taurus men (and I have dated a few and been pursued by a few too many) as being the time to share a woman with another.

I don't think it would be too much for you to be honest and tell him "Hey, I'd like to get to know you. I am dating someone at this time but it is not that serious (or if it is then lay it on the line). If he tells you to hit the road, well then that is his right, at least you were honest with him.

At the same time, I am kind of taken aback by his written demeanor. He gave you a strict time to call him

"Let's get together for a cup of something delicious and some interesting conversation. Give me a call tonight or tomorrow. My number is ___-___-____. I'm a pretty busy person, and I can't guarantee that I'll be available, but give a try. And please call before 11 PM because that's when my mom makes me go to sleep."

Maybe he is just trying to be cute or funny - but at 29 years of age, playing games is just immature.

Also as far as expecting alot, Taurus males want to be the focal point in their mates life. Fixed signs are like that. Personally, I'd e-mail him back something just as quipy like:

"I too am a very busy person, but since my schedule seems to be more open and yours so packed, please give me a call when time permits. I look forward to hearing from you and sharing a cup of something delicious as well...I'll bring the Amish cookies..you can bring the light".

Good luck,

~Pidaua

posted April 19, 2004 02:57 PM              

However, like you said, it's good to have a friend to talk to, and he is someone you could learn from, even lean on from time to time. As for Sex, yes men at 29 will expect sex around the second month of dating you, no matter how often they see you, it's just the way it is. As a Virgo that will seem rushed, the only way to combat the Taurus libido is to communicate gently but firmly. Then his ego will not be hurt and he will be thankful for the guidelines. Taureans like boundaries.

So yes I would agree on telling him about Tony. He is special to you, and you have boundaries. Your new friend doesn't have to get sexual with you, I pull back if someone says something like that to me, but I would be hurt if I heard nothing.

Taureans do not like to be embarassed, and if he made a move and was rejected he would stalk off, or worse make you feel guilty and hurt.

I would talk about it in person, not on the phone or email, since Taureans like face to face contact for touchy subjects. He will respect that.

I do not think Taurus men are more wild, about sex, it's just that they don't know what you expect and they are super traditional and macho. They also like to be leaned on and so the feminine type that wants to be held is super attractive.

Oh and yes I would ask if he lives at home, sometimes Taurueans are just super home oriented, there's nothing wrong with that, unless you don't like it.
I mean I live a block from my mother! and I am very independent. I purchased a house for her. We are just into caring for our mothers.

posted April 19, 2004 03:38 PM            

I am going to give another stab at this - because now I have some background. First off VAA, your current dude - the Gemini is the one you spoke of beginning in 2002 right? And as of this year, he wants to be just best friends. Which is cool, because then you can go slow and get to know each other and see where it goes.

Now, enter the Taurus - which is about 11 years older than you ( I am assuming it is you that will turn 19 9/12/04, which is why you still consider yourself a "little" girl)

First off, you are still way young - and even if Linda Goodman believes chronological age is a myth, there is a HUGE difference in maturity between the ages of 25 and older. Meaning, you still have a lot to experience before you merge with an older man. By merge I mean "get involved" with. Also, ask yourself why he is interested in a woman that is barely legal?

There are alot of issues at hand here..the age difference, the living issue and trust me..should you decide to live on your own at any time - you WILL take issue with a man living with mommy at the age of 29 (unless there is some family crisis). No man should be living at home at that age.

As far as your "romantic ideals" that is also a testament to age. Older men are likely to send flowers, call and ask for a date. Take you out to dinner - hold your hand - and yes..it will progress to a commitment etc....I know because I am in that age bracket and if a man sent me cute little notes I would think he was odd.

Just because a man is direct does not mean he is a predator. A man who is directly going for someone that is barely legal...well that is a predator.

ONE MORE THING....if he is a Taurus..then his B-day is approaching, making him 30 years old..living with mom and hitting on someone that is 12 years younger. Wow...no wonder you are kind of weirded out..I would be too.

posted April 19, 2004 04:33 PM              

It's a commitment you make to yourself and others have to understand that. It's tough that the Taurus wants to be your friend, and he can be your friend but with Conditions.

You only have to think up some and be firm. Taurean men aren't so lovey dovey they can seduce you, they are like concrete, either you want it or you don't, it's a need thing. Taurus is not Libra, they are not mr. smooth.

They do not assert themselves that way, but he will make an offer, and it's embarassing for you to have to say something then. Do say something but the timing is important. I would say, I like you but I am not ready for a physical relationship with someone new right now, is that okay with you? There's this friend of mine who I have been going steady with for a while, and in any case, I am not ready for major responsibilites with a man.

But if you want to go play basketball sometime, or have coffee, that's cool, but I would like to split the check, or make it equal. I don't need you to take care of me, I can take care of myself. I am great to lean on to talk to as a friend though.

Once you don't let him buy you things, that's the signal to him that you are not "his", and he ought to listen.

Othewise, be prudent, don't give out your home address for a while, visit his family first and find out more about him before being alone with him, that kind of thing, I still do that! It doesn't change with age, I will still be careful about giving out my address when I'm 70.

posted April 19, 2004 04:39 PM              

Old movie,:

"Hey want a drink?"
"Oh I can't, I'm here with my boyfriend"
"Wow a beautiful woman like you, alone? Hey I will leave you alone if you show me the lucky guy who gets to be alone with you for the rest of the night, I just want to see him!"
"Okay, well, there he is over there with his friends"
"Oh, Oh, well I see he's too busy to talk to you, that's the guy huh? Oh poor girl...
"What do you mean, he's okay"
"No, no, that's okay I'll leave..."
"Wait, Wait...!"

Later they are in bed...

Just a scene that popped into mind, with Kevin Kline as the guy...It's so hard when a man wants to see the boyfriend isn't it? Especially if the boyfriend is kind of not so attractive? I always feel I have to produce one, it's called pressure baby! Welcome to who belongs to you! It's the game everyone plays, don't think you are less by yourself, but you will feel like that, for a split second, it's natural, only if you do-don't show it!

That guy must have been a libra

posted April 19, 2004 05:35 PM              

Whew! Don't I KNOW it!

VirgoAries -

I held out my virginity until I was 18 because I knew I had to be ready emotionally for the huge change it would bring in my life. If you feel like you are not ready yet, I would not recommend to you to expect too much "friendship" from the Taurus guy who's 29 years old.

It's your choice totally, but I'm talking of real-world experience here, not being predictive or absolute about where your head is right now. I mean, go have an innocent quick lunch or afternoon coffee 2 or 3 times just to get some experience there.

See how that goes and then take a break and assess the situation.

.gloria

posted April 19, 2004 08:46 PM            

Actually, I've known Tony since July 1999....going on 5 years now. And I'm loving hte "best" friend tone right now, especially when he sends me text messages out of nowhere. It's fun and flirty.

Yes, I will turn 19 this year on that date. I actually have a ring that Tony gave me, years back when we met. Maybe I'll take to wearing it more often now, as a sign that I'm committed, in heart/soul, if not elsewhere. Come to think of it, I am barely legal.... Woah, total revelation, as I never think of myself that way, as most people I've been interested are in my same approximate age bracket.

Ummm...bigger problem though....the "card" I gave him, stupid as I was at the moment, had most of my details on it, like e-mail, address and phone... How do I fix that mistake? or isn't there a way to?

True enough about the Tony relationship: he is my "boy friend", which, when said aloud sounds the same as "boyfriend", no need to elaborate.

Thanks for the similar stories you shared, pidua, that does help me feel better for my situation. It's nice knowing I'm not alone, and that their should be no guilt involved on my part about 'attracting' an older man, as it was his predator-type motives that brought this whole thing into play. I'm definitely not gonna 'call him' when he asked me to, as that fits right into the whole control pattern, and I refuse to be at someone else's whim for no good reason. You're right too, I would be freaked if a guy called to ask me out and sent flowers, but I'll let time tell on that one, as age does play a bigger factor than we give it credit for sometimes.

I see where you're coming from, Natasha, about the whole "don't let him buy you stuff", as it will give the wrong impression. Taureans, from my limited knowledge, see people as possessions as well.

Gloria, I am glad to know from your experience that older Taurean men are not so much into "friendship". I would really hate to get myself into a situation where I was uncomfortable, and ended up embarassing myself and the other person as well. Doesn't make for good memories.
Not that I advertise it, but I'm still holding out my virginity, as I consider it something only for marriage at this point in my life. Perhaps my view is colored by the fact that I come from an older, single unwed mother, who knows...but I want my kids to have the benefits of a father in their lives, and I'm pretty sure Tony is waiting til marriage too, so we have more common ground there.
Ahhh...::contented sighs:: I got another text message from Tony tonight about him hoping we visit soon too...

posted April 20, 2004 02:11 PM            

VAA -

I admire you holding onto your virginity - I did the same thing until I was 18 - but like you said - you need to know when it is right. You are at such a fun age right now to totally enjoy life. That best friendship - is better than most relationships and may lead to something beautiful. I think it already is

Someday the flowers and more artful pursuit will come and you will LOVE it...I like what you said about the flirty messages and notes...it's beautiful and so much fun to experience. You seem very "alive" and "spirited". It is that beauty and liveliness that will attract many potential suiters, never feel the need to hide that vivaciousness under a rock - because it is who you are and I am glad you will not let any man make you feel guilty for it!!!

Take care ---- and I am so PROUD of you (not that it means all that much - it is just refreshing to see someone with spunk - spirit- and a brain!!!)