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Author
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Topic: How can I win back my virgo boyfriend?
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ae7899t
unregistered
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posted June 22, 2004 04:09 PM
 
I "think" I've been dumped by a Virgo. I say think, because he's simply stopped returning my phone calls. We met about 4 months ago through a mutual friend and in the first month spent almost every day together (I work from home and he was in between jobs). He then took a new job and began to travel constantly.As a sensitive Libra he has said many things in the name of "honesty" that have been hurtful and I have told him so. Of course he says it's never meant in the manner it comes across as. It's also been very difficult to get him to express himself to me. I literally have had to ask him if he likes me to which he responds yes. The sex was incredible, but in recent months I've gotten the feeling that the only reason he's still been with me is for it. I've talked to our mutual friend about it and she says that while he really likes me, but he has struggled with his perception that I don't have deeper feelings for him (aside from sex). WHY HAS HE NEVER TOLD ME THIS HIMSELF? I'm in shock at how cruel he has been by simply dismissing me with no explanation. My friend says I should just move on, but he's only the 2nd man I've ever slept with and I truly care about him. My last communication with him was last week (in an enraged state) in which I wrote him an e-mail telling him that while I think he's a good person, he'll never have a quality woman until he learns to communicate. I know it was wrong, but my feelings were hurt. He has not responded to it. Is it impossible to get him back???
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astro junkie
unregistered
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posted June 22, 2004 04:19 PM
ae7899t -After reading your post and being concerned for you first and foremost, take it from this Libra with her Mercury in Scorpio - GOOD RIDDINS! You don't need that. Step back, let him get in touch with you and confront him if you must. See what you get in return. But don't dwell on him being the second guy you've been with. Believe me, I know how much it will hurt you if you continue to dwell on that. Life is a journey we can never fully control. Don't consider it a failure on your part, just learn from it and move on. IP: Logged |
Total Pieces
Newflake Posts: 2
From: Los Angeles, CA USA
Registered: Oct 2009
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posted June 22, 2004 06:05 PM
I second AJ on this one.We Libra's are always sensitive but you don't need to beg anyone to like you. If someone says something that is hurtful and you tell them so and they say 'didn't mean for it to sound like that' the next time the decide to give 'constructive critisim' they should try to word it so you can receive it. He chose not to so it seems to me he meant it the way you took it. Follow your friends advice (who knows both of you) and move on. Don't worry about what he didn't tell you...concern yourself with what he has done. He has said mean things and he has not returned your phone calls. Mr. Honest could have taken your call and said that he wants to move on. That would hurt but he would be 'honest' You deserve better. Sometimes people come into our lives to show us what we don't want or need. Take this realtionship as a lesson. Learn what you need to and move on. Someone who deserves you will be on his way... He may not come when you want but he will be right on time  Love,
Amber
(Libra)  IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 4783
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2004 06:12 PM
Welcome!  ------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
Special
unregistered
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posted June 22, 2004 06:24 PM
Hey ae7899t, the gals are right y'know in the circumstances it's better to back off, regardless of how much you want him back.. specially Virgos! Had an ex boyf Virgo I'll never forget  and the experience in retrospective.. is best left as a good lesson, and it has been.I wish you luck with how you choose to go forward  ------------------
"Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars." Serbian proverb IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted June 22, 2004 07:06 PM
Still, you may want closure. I would try and confront him by phone at least to tell him what you feel. You aren't begging if you aren't asking questions. Just write down some points you want to go over and read them off, then ask is there something you want to say? If you don't hear anything then hang up. At least you know he heard you, email can be deleted.Whatever the reasons, he is a moody guy. Earth men can be very wrapped up in their problems and not even realize what they've done. I find email venting not as satisfying, for some reason and you don't want to hold on to the pain, you deserve at least some venting. You will have a few more lovers, and friends. Even if you have 30 friends only 2 or 3 will be life long ones and so it's part of the experience. Do not get into the sex without seeing if he is capable of that good kind of communication, the kind of attention you need. Make him wait until you know he has it, anywhere from a day to a year. When you know, you know. Air signs need that communication! Take care Natasha
Taurus IP: Logged |
ae7899t
unregistered
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posted June 22, 2004 08:47 PM
Interestingly enough, I justgot a reply to my e-mail from him today saying that he apologizes for not communicating with me face to face (although he promises to do so "soon"--whatever that means) and that he has had some person issues that have forced him to make some changes in his life.He indicated that the last few times he saw me he felt as though we were simply physical (which admittedly..I felt also, so perhaps we mirrored each other's behaviors) and that wasn't enough for him. In either case, I feel a lot better that there is not something "wrong" that I've done and that ultimately we're just not meant to be together. IP: Logged |
Tītania
unregistered
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posted June 23, 2004 09:51 AM
If it helps, i think not just virgo, but every sign needs to know they are needed. If it works between you, make sure you find ways to show him that you care about him. little things, gestures, words, the way you look at him. When you make someone feel good about themselves, they like you for it, and you will get the same response back (unless they are heartless), because they will feel safe with liking you because they know they are accepted, and so will not be afraid to hide their feelings. We are all afraid of unrequited feelings, and it is even worse when that person knows you like them.. i think most people don't let on how they feel for fear of scaring the other person away.. that is why it takes some couples so long to finally say the three special words to each other.
he might not have had any personal issues in particular, maybe it was to do with his self worth.. he had to give some excuse if he wants a reconciliation, so don't start thinking that maybe something big happened in his life. it could just be that he thought you didnt like him, and so ran away to avoid the pain. Also take note of his slight elusiveness... he took a while to respond and he said he'll talk to you face to face "soon". Perhaps he wants a response, something tangible from you, before you are face to face, to show that you still want to have him around. It is much easier to face someone when they know you will not be hostile (like in the previous email you wtote!)Consider yourself lucky, you found a guy who wants more than just amazing sex... he wants a connection with you. if you two can make thigns work out, then good luck to you! IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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