posted June 29, 2004 06:00 PM              

I don't know yet if this works for women. That is because women are not always looking for romance like men are. If that is the case then I look for 5th house and Leo moon or rising friends primarily but my double fire Mars can't handle it all the time. So I tend to find those with Leo/Aqua polarities in a chart. I have learned to tone down my fire or get it fulfilled in the world, and find many more male friends when I can't do that.

Since my Mars is strong, I do not have a huge preference for a certain sign, just that my friends are balanced and can keep me calm and serene.

But for women this theory is very iffy. It's really hard to get women to tell you if they are considering a man as a romantic possibility. Men are more blunt. For men it's been very accurate. So look at the planets in the man's chart that are in detriment first and determine the house. That will tell you a lot about the psychology of why he needs and depends on you.

posted June 29, 2004 07:11 PM              

His Mars is in Cancer in his 7th House (rules Libra). I'm a Libra w/ Mercury in Scorpio.

Like that?

Very cool. Thanks.

.gloria

posted June 29, 2004 11:38 PM              

So, Mars is in detriment in Cancer...so the house placement becomes very important in terms of what he looks for in a woman, like his Mars is somewhat disabled in terms of how it explores the subject of the house it's in? Is that right? So, my guy with his Mars in Cancer in the 12th...needs someone somewhat Piscean to help him explore that house. So far so good?

That troubles me somewhat. Although I do have Neptune rather close to my first house cusp, and squaring my Venus, I also have t-Neptune conjunct my moon and oppose my sun and Mercury...so I may seem much more Piscean than I really am, just because of the current t-Neptune, and that's only temporary. When it passes, I won't be that way so much. But I WILL always be into 12th house subjects, like feeling God all around me, and talking about life after death, and ghosts, and the psychic realm, as well as battling with my own demons of addiction. (that he knows nothing about)...and just feeling really unachored without a strong, earth bound influence in my life. That could be temporary too.

Oh well. Reasons, seasons & lifetimes.

posted June 30, 2004 02:08 AM              

AHHHHH!!!! UHHHHHH!!!!

Yeah.... that's how I feel most of the time, and CURRENTLY he's doing all the acting weird crapp, but I'm hooked. Head over heels in love with this guy.

As far as other Libra planets, I think you meant if I had more. No. But he has a ton.

Merc - Libra
Venus - Libra
Pluto - Libra
MC - Libra
NN - Libra
Pallas - Libra
Vesta - Libra

The thing is, every single one of those Libra placements (except MC), ALL fall in his 9th House. So I'm wondering if a Sag girl will... well... I'd be willing to love her too. But will feel hurt if I'm shut out completely. I'm also almost sure he's got a Sag Rising.

The only planets I have in my 9th are Jupiter & Saturn Conjunct in Capricorn. His Moon is in Capricorn.

But there's a TON of other almost mystical aspects between us, such as his NN, Pluto & Vesta (which is in his first House along with his Singleton Cappy Moon!), are all Conjunct my Libra Sun.

Stuff like that... a lot more too...

But he's the 3rd guy IN A ROW I've dated with a Cancer Mars. I guess my Cancer Moon or three Scorpio planets understand these guys better than most.

I often wonder if a Sag will take the initiative and take him. But I vibrate 100% to this man, and I've never felt this way.

Hope I didn't get off track too much...

posted July 04, 2004 10:31 PM              

Lioneye, I wouldn't worry too much because you do as I remember now, have Neptune in the 12th. What could be more Piscean than that? Why haven't you told him about your addictions? You would feel better exploring those doubts, so you can conquer them.

Cancer Mars in the 12th means that he is capable of commitment to a Piscean person, but that may not translate as emotional, passionate attachment. That's actually what long term couples look for, because we know emotional love is a high that wears off. It's the emotional dependency that stays, that determines the long term part.

Your virgo is not going to leave anytime soon. We give up part of the emotional high when we opt for long term. Your Neptune in the 12th, has a lot of doubts, real and imagined. Not only that you do need romance. I feel from your post that you may worry about the emotional love part wearing off? you are a romantic Leo woman so I don't think that will happen, if he is at all interested in love.

Do not work too hard on making sure, work on your own self doubts first. If you were for example to go to a workshop or spiritual counselor together, it would make you both happy.

That's my take,
and astrologically,
marriages do not always last even with this aspect. The potential is there for long term, but the emotional love has to be found. There is also a fear of being abandoned because this is a mars aspect. Mars energy is emotional dependency and it rules aggression but also fear of rejection. This man would need lots of day to day affection and cuddling, or he would feel alone in a short time. He may run to keep from feeling that way and get involved with a more intense partner. Partners that are laid back or interested in independence day to day, have less of an impact.

People do not always realize that while Mars rules masculine energy, it also rules the weakness of traditional males. Fear of becoming emotionally dependent on someone, and for that reason there is a strong feeling of anxiety. This anxiety is constant with or without a partner. It's important to accept that it can't be FIXED.

This aspect must be accepted, or else the man will not feel accepted. If the man feels overwhelmed by fear of change in his partner, or some instability then he will want to flee emotionally. He will stay if asked but his emotions will be scattered. But he has to accept that when we love others we do change them, for good or for worse. However this man will not be happy with a mate who makes drastic changes for him. He is less assertive, than the traditional male but wants a woman who is more traditionally female, that is who does not want to change him or overwhelm him with emotion.

Gloria, you are an intense woman and your Libra is taking a break, he is likely not good at processing intense emotions, due to his Sag/Ascendant. His desire is to please and right now you don't sound happy. You have every reason not to be, but he is not going to be able to handle it, that is the challenge.

Hope this helps,

posted July 04, 2004 11:04 PM              

And he DOES know that to do that would mean us taking this to another level. Combined with his financial security worries, he will only reunite with me if he is sure he can.

But I'm not so arrogant to think I'm doing him a favor by being separated from him, to try to motivate him to take the next step in his life. I'm not betting a bunch of chips on him changing, because I like him just the way he is. I'm only hoping that he's able to sort through his feelings, understand them, and not be afraid.

And as Natasha says, I AM passionate. But we didn't start out that way. Not even when we took it to the next level, I would not call it "passionate", or at least as passionate as the last kiss I gave him. When it comes to this, I'm like a ballroom dancer, let the guy lead. HE was the one who kept raising the "level" of passion, and I'd just follow. But then he lead me (ON PURPOSE) to a level that began to open all the spickets, and I suspect he did it on purpose so I'd spill the beans. But I did so without shame, regret, and then I walked the f away.

posted July 05, 2004 10:45 AM              

Ways to cope? The best is therapy, but not talking, art therapy, work therapy, doing things, with someone or alone, where you are happy. Organizing your thoughts, arranging them around some thinking/feeling place you are usually happy. This is what I have been told by other Cancer moons and I agree.

posted July 07, 2004 06:23 AM              

You didn't know he had a Singleton Cappy Moon in his 1st House?

... hee hee ...

Yup ...

Neither my Jup nor Saturn in Capricorn is Conjunct his Moon, about 10 degrees apart. How much should I just sit back and relax and watch karma at work with this in mind?

It's not like I have all my hopes on him as in marriage or something, I mean, if it's meant to be, OK... but it's just like being angry at myself in a way. I get to be with these interesting guys, and then I'm alone again. But if I try with a guy I wouldn't normally be attracted to, it's the same thing, you know? Been there too.

Might as well keep life interesting. No matter what, there's a tremendous sorrow in my life, and I have no family support. I'm the little gypsy again, and she's a little tired. No. Exhausted, and has been for many years now. Something is going to give out soon. I just feel it.

Anyways, back to astrology, you mentioned the aspects Moon & Jupiter, although not Conjunct, I have Moon in Cancer, he has Jupiter in Cancer. Along with his Mars in Cancer (which IS Conjunct my Moon), his Mars & Jup are in his 7th House. My Moon is in his 7th House.

Also, I just KNOW there's something about my Venus & Pluto in Virgo doing something I've never experienced. I mean, I'm just feeling my Virgo influences OOOOOZING over his Cappy Moon, and the aspects for all 3 are tight.

posted July 07, 2004 09:07 AM              

Gloria, nothing changes us from the outside, those emotions were meant to be, and if he can't handle the real you then why do you want to hide that? Your Cancer moon never shows itself completely, you are hidden deep within a well, he will never get to your essence, so you couldn't have been unveiled so quickly. It's just a feeling of vulnerability you had, and talking to him about it just made it worse.

We are all vulnerable, but in fact you are not yourself all the time, your moods are constantly changing back and forth like the ocean. Do you accept that there is nothing wrong with that yet? Because if you don't, it will make you feel down. His perception of you isn't you at all, the real you is very strong but hasn't even shown herself.

Dont' feel tired out, you've got more to give, only you don't know if you want to give it.

Opening up to another human being the way you did with him is really tough, and brave.

You do need a break, emotionally but you didn't scare him off, he is only waiting for you to be the way you were. If you want to be happy, you have to be yourself regardless of whether or not he is dependable or not, love him anyway, but take a break for yourself. Facial, Massage, Trip, try something a little bit different.

posted July 07, 2004 09:26 AM              

If you are feeling negative towards yourself do what ever it takes to get out of that place, it's not a request, it's a requirement.

Then you can think about the Libra, keep grounded in yourself, look at how you feel overall towards yourself every day.

You were referring to yourself as another person who let you down, go back to the start, you were happy when? Don't think about when it went bad, start thinking about when it was good.

Getting back to that good feeling place is simple, just remember what it is that makes you happiest and don't let negativity intrude, no matter who or what it looks like. I'm sorry to tell you this, but even if the Libra calls, I am leaning towards the belief that you need time for yourself to sort things out, maybe by yourself or with another??

What are your thoughts on that?

posted July 07, 2004 10:26 AM              

I see what you are saying, and totally appreciate your thoughts as usual. Yeah, he's seen a different side of me, and we talked about that, as well as how I'm seeing new sides of him as well. We have both become more vulnerable to each other, and it's been fantastic for both of us, but he is the one hesitating the most. That's fine, everyone goes at their own pace.

I'm not waiting for him or anything, and I just have a difficult time accepting that my life has been so much about being alone.

I do think it would do me good to do something new and different. I suspect my current transits will force me to no matter.

Thank you!