posted August 30, 2004 03:26 PM              

An Earthy Mercury Retrograde

From August 9 through September 2 we’ll be in another Mercury retrograde period. (I can hear you groaning from here. But this one won’t be too bad, I promise.) The last Mercury retrograde was this spring, from April 6 through April 30. Mercury retrograde periods happen about every three months and last roughly three and a half weeks.

I know, the words “Mercury retrograde” sound pretty dire. But don’t panic. There’s no need to bury yourself in a vat of Haagen Daas or have a month’s supply of chocolate bars airlifted to your house.

Then again, you can never go wrong with ice cream and chocolate.

Mercury retrograde’s impact depends on what is going on with the other planets. If there are lots of squares and oppositions, and the planets are pulling at each other’s hair and sticking their tongues out at each other, things can feel pretty stressful down here on the ground. Our nervous systems are very attuned to the activities of the planets. So we respond to their cosmic shenanigans by emulating their peevish attitudes. During a tense Mercury retrograde, people can suddenly turn into cranky 5-year-olds, quarrelling over everything from toys to boyfriends. “My toy!” “My boyfriend!” “My Post-It Notes!” (Melodramatic moments can happen in the workplace,too.)

Fortunately, for the next few weeks the planets are acting more like harmonious roommates than warring neighbors. To borrow a phrase from Martha Stewart, It’s a Good Thing.

Communicator Mercury, stamina planet Mars, and worker bee Jupiter are all in Earth sign Virgo throughout this period, bringing a spirit of discipline and organization to the scene. With Virgo helping us to analyze situations and prevent problems before they can happen, we’ll be in “Be Prepared” Girl Scout mode. We’ll be more likely to carry maps and have a back-up route prepared in case we run into one of those notorious retrograde traffic jams.

We’ll have an extra copy of our address book handy for when our beloved Palm Pilot gives out on us, sending our list of business contacts to Outer Mongolia. And, of course, we’ll have an extra pair of pantyhose stored in our file cabinet for when the sharp objects in the office aim themselves at our legs right before an important meeting. (This has been known to occur more than once during Mercury retrograde.)

Mercury retrograde times can create feelings of frustration or powerlessness if you try to rush around or push too hard. So the key is to slow down, plan your route and your actions ahead of time, and practice lots of deep breathing. That way, when your 50-year-old boss starts channeling his inner 5 year old, you’ll be ready to give him a smile, a lollipop, and a pat on the head, your positive attitude intact.

Do:
Leave extra room in your schedule to make appointments on time
Carry maps so that you can plan alternative routes in heavy traffic
Practice kindness, compassion, and peaceful thinking

Don’t:
Work up a voodoo curse on people who annoy you
Blow up at others because they are stressed out and acting funny
Abuse caffeine or ginseng – be kind to those overworked adrenals!