posted October 30, 2004 03:11 AM              

rising = 17 cappy
sun = 13 taurus
merc. = 3 gemini
venus = 29 pisces
mars = 0 libra r
jupiter = 4 scorpio r
saturn = 17 libra r
uranus = 3 sag. r
neptune = 26 sag. r
pluto = 25 libra r
true node = 15 cancer
chiron = 22 taurus

him - oct. 6, 1981 12:04 am

rising = 10 cancer
sun = 12 libra
merc. = 3 scorpio
venus = 26 scorpio
mars = 21 leo
jupiter = 19 libra
saturn = 12 libra
uranus = 17 scorpio
neptune = 22 sag.
pluto = 23 libra
true node = 28 cancer
chiron = 22 taurus r

posted October 30, 2004 03:16 AM              

mine = 29 virgo
his = 11 cappy

posted October 30, 2004 09:39 AM              

All that Scorpio in him, will be controlling of your Gemini Mecury. Eventually he will feel like you are running away and you will always feel like you have to prove yourself to him, with a new test. Scorpio influences can make a person angry and even testy, and your Taurus Sun won't understand, why you just can't get along.

He may see your nature as a a weakness.

No, I don't think marrying some one when you know it will fail is a good idea, that's not thinking carefully, have more faith in yourself.

Natasha

posted October 31, 2004 10:41 PM              

He swears he isn't as controlling as before, but every night same thing, tv, until 11pm, exactly no talking. if you try to talk to him he gets angry, no talking, no interest in how you are, just tv. Same with everything else.

Now if he never changed then, he won't change now, I can watch him and get mad or stay away. If I say let's talk sometime, he says dont' talk that way to me, this is the way I am, I'm not changing.

So I have to warn you that just because Libra rules manners, doesn't mean you can allow a Libra to walk over you. Once a Libra does, he or she will do it so well, you may get resentful again, and isn't that torture if you can't handle it?

Libras and Taurus fight because they are both stubborn, someone has to be docile. If you can do it, then great, but if you can't don't try, just be a friend when you can be a friend. Libras also like to be in control, so you can't lean, Libras prefer to lean on you, especially with Mercury in Scorpio, to test you. This doesn't work so great with male Libras as it does with female Libras.

I can get too impatient personally with the males. If you want someone to follow you everywhere and make sure you are brushing your teeth, getting home okay, that kind of thing, Libras are the ones for you. But if that bothers you at all, say so, or forever hold your peace.

Libras are wonderful people, but there is little wriggle room on many relationship issues without work. In other words, LIbras like things done their way, and Taureans have trouble with that eventually. Confrontation and talking are key, it's easy to avoid this with food, sex, or events.

posted November 01, 2004 12:39 AM              

i didn't mean to say that i know the relationships won't work if we get back together. it's funny you said that, because i guess somewhere inside of me, i do know that. i meant more to say that i feel that i would not be challenged in the relationship and i feel as if i need someone who challenges ME, not me challenging them, in order to grow. it got to the point that i was basically his mother. like i was always yelling at him to get a job, fix his car, call this guy, pay this bill, ect. i could not stand it anymore. i really don't know what happened. it started out so equal and beautiful and turned into something ugly.

he has major problems in his childhood, which i know are the cause of his lack of assertiveness. once, after a major problem arose because of his problems, i made him promise to go get help. he promised. he broke that promise to me and i knew i just had to let go. i can not help someone who is not willing to help themselves. i beat my head against a wall for so long, and for what? now that i write this, i wonder just why i want to get back with him?
last night i cried all night and couldn't sleep because i missed him so much. i just miss having someone to talk to, to trust, to do things with, to hold and confide in. we really were best friends, despite all i have said above. you see, i went through these same issues before we met. i got help for mine, so i totally knew where he was coming from.

i know i deserve someone who will do anything for me, and work on the relationship no matter what. i know i deserve not to settle for less. it's just so hard. so very hard. i've made a deal with myself that the next person i date will ask ME out. i'm waiting for someone who likes me enough to show it again and again. i want action! i always ask people out and then they never like me as much as i like them. this time it is differant!

posted November 01, 2004 03:44 AM              

You might feel like you're going to die, and you feel out of place because you've broken the routine. It's up to you, but I'm just saying, this pain is something I think all of us can relate to.

posted November 01, 2004 07:44 AM              

What he needs, is his proverbial kick in the pants. The warning that if he doesn't change, that's it. You've done that by breaking up with him.
It seems that some men seem to know they can get away with things with women because they knwo we'll love them no matter what, and it is silly that some people have to actually break up with them to get through to them that this can not go on. it is a sort of laziness on their part.

i also believe that in a relationship, it takes two to tango. every action has a reaction. look at what you don't like in your partner, and think about how you may be causing a certain behaviour pattern in them. you say he acts like a bit of a doormat. if you confront him about this, that certainly won't make him feel very masculine, will it now? if you keep poking at him, hoping to get a reaction, you might only be making the matter worse. some men like to be adored, to feel they are dominant. positive reinforcement is such a wonderful thing for this. tell him how he makes you feel safe if you're out in the dark or watchign a scary movie, make him feel like a man when he is with you. well that's my method, i don't know! i'm sure he'd cotton on if you suddenly changed, but you'll have to see how to do that yourself. this is just my opinion of course, ignore it if you wish.

there may be thigns about him that annoy you, but at the same time, you have to see what you really have. the grass is always greener on the other side, until you get to that side and realise that when you get what you wanted - in your case, someone to 'challenge' you, they don't have some of the most important qualities that your previous man did. maybe he'll be more aggressive, less caring, less tolerant... who knows. it's all chance! you start looking back to that grass on the other side all over again. lesson: you can't have it all!!

If he's not bad for you physically, if he doesn't make you cry too often (i guess they all do to some degree), then don't nit pick. i find myself doing that too often with my boy, and sometimes i just stop, and remember the fact that i have a really great guy.
in almost anybody you meet, you will find things about them that you don't like, or that you find unacceptable.

i think it is truly beautiful that you have found someone that shares the feeling with you that they would rather die than go through the pain of breaking up with you. that doesn't come along all the time! screw your intuition of a possible "twin" soul coming along. you could be wrong! you are already in love, you need look no further. cherish what you have, it most certainly does not come along every day.

it is in moments like these, when i tell others how important their relationship is, that i appreciate my own that little bit more. love is so important, don't throw it away if you want to keep it!

if you think he needs to be coaxed into changing a little, make him sweat a bit... then get back together by all means. i live for happy endings so make sure you give us all a report back!

p.s. don't have the stubborn approach of, 'next time i get with a guy HE will be the one asking me out'. i tried that method once. in the end i decided that i'd have to start makign the moves because i was getting nothing. finally i got someone worthwhile, and we both did a little moving. that was nice. sort of like a compromise.

the overall message for my post:
don't lay the 'responsibility' on any one party or you will probably be greeted by Karma and get nothing for being stubborn!

posted November 01, 2004 03:10 PM              

i just broke up with my libra....my first serious relationship....was 2 years long....

anyways....he was just so unassertive, undecisive.....it was so frustrating cos I used to push things to the limit just to try and get him angry...so he would express himself to me....though all that I suceeded in doing was feeling like crap myself....cos i became somebody i wasnt and didnt like....god, the things i would say to him....!

so...i broke it off...and needless to say he was distraught....he wrote me this super long email calling me all sorts and i was just like 'finally'...he even said he knew hed been too easy on me throughout the relationship and that it would change.....but i just didnt want it anymore...

cos i want a man to be a man...and i understand....from speaking to a lot of libras....that when they love you, they would lose themselves in you and do anything for the one they love...even to the detriment of themselves....but i dunno,i dont believe in a love like that...where you allow yourself to be mistreated and hurt.....
but it was difficult cos so many things were absolutely wonderful.....we loved each others bodies, we made each other laugh a lot, we are both creative and like each others ideas and work, everyhting about fromm the fact that I felt like th man n the relationship....just like you....

the thing is since it was my first serious relationship, i wanna find out if theres always that niggle you get about your partner or whther my idea of perfection actually exists.

posted November 01, 2004 06:02 PM              

If you are miserable once there is a reason, the challenge with Libras is that they like things to be perfect, so it's tough to investigate those feelings.

Puppy, I didn't mean my ex was assertive, the way he was controlling was when
I wanted to go home because it was late and we had a drink together,
He refused to drive me home because he wanted me to stay all night with him so we could drink and talk more.
I wanted to go home and sleep,
so he refused to let me walk, and insisted I took a cab and insisted on giving the cab driver instructions, so I didn't get lost.
To my own house??
That took about an hour, by that time I was really tired and overslept the next day.

I was angry at his controlling and leading.
He isn't really assertive as in let's talk. At one point I turned to him and said I need a friend too, let's talk about our feelings now. What are you feeling right now? Talk to me, about more than what we are drinking, I need to know why you are acting this way and it's clear you are upset. I care about what you are feeling and I want to talk about what I feel too.

Instead he turned away.

I feel that he is assertive by being cold to me, that's not any better. He doesn't want to talk about his feelings, and I do. I always will, so I won't stop asking, or think my feelings are wrong, at the same time he needs a woman his life who can serve him and adore him the way he wants, without deep questions.

Not every single person we love is meant to be an intimate partner, but that person can share and talk, about everything with us. I keep my expectations level, so that I know my ex and I will always share interests in movies, but we may not go to the movies together and share popcorn, because deep down, he's not that type of person, he only sounds like he is.

But there is nothing wrong with sharing, talking and laughing, on the phone, during the day, but trying to put yourself in a position where he will wake up and start to think like you do, is just hurting yourself. Take what he offers, friendship. Anything else and you are really trying hard to connect with him emotionally when in fact Libras like some emotional separation.

Try melding with an Aries and see if you can do it, not possible right? Actually you can but it would be concious, with Libras the romanticism is not concious and so he hasn't put himself out there, you can really get hurt because LIbras value friendship most of all.

Have you tried going out with another just as friends to see? I recommend doing that, it doesn't have to be serious, but letting others into your life is a good thing right now. There is someone special who wants to share and be there for you to lean on, but you have to let him in. Don't be afraid, the fact that there is someone else is a good thing, the Libra will always be your friend.

Natasha
BTW I have Uranus trine Sun, and Mercury trine Venus so I attract a lot of friendly types who are not emotional. At this point in my life, I make it very clear I will not threaten to leave if I don't get a response, but I very much would like an emotional response soon, because I am looking for one. I say I want to be heard about this, since I am open, meaning to others.

posted November 03, 2004 01:32 AM              

i saw him today. we still miss each other. i feel as though i have matured so much since we broke it off (or tried to break it off) in august. i feel as though you are right when you say "forget the soulmates". i did ask someone out who was more aggressive soon after we broke up. it was a disaster. i saw the qualities i take for granted in my libra from that whole experience. yes, my libra does **** me off, but i want to make it clear that i have NEVER lost my respect for him. he is the utmost gentleman and morally repsonsible person. the "aggressive" person i asked out lost my respect over and over.

i kind of like the position i am in. it gives me clarity to view the relationship with. i am learning alot. yes, he does need a kick in the pants, but i am too stubburn as well. we love each other so much. when we broke up it was mainly because he would not get a full time job. i would not accept this because i was not going to support my future husband financially if he is perfectly capable of doing so himself. he could not get a full tiime job because he has social anxiety disorder,ect which he would not get help for even though i have it to and offered to go with him, set it up, call the people, finanicaly make it able for him, ect.

i see how you are saying that i am taking away his manhood. that was a big mistake on my part. he will not date me again until he can support himself. that is how much moral responsibility he has. i just thought that by breaking up it would give him a "kick in the pants". it has not so far. but, we are still friendly and we still love each other very much. i feel that this is really a mature love on my part. i love and respect him. it may not be passionate all the time, but he makes me happy for the most part and i understand when you say that that is a love that does not come along often and you just need to accept each other's annoying characteristics. i have for 4 years.

posted November 03, 2004 02:56 AM              

By the way you've expressed yourself, sounds like you met your muse. Any creative person always has a muse in there life, and if you two are able to really dig deep within yourselves individually, then anything is possible.

Sometimes, you break up and continue to belive anything is possible, but the one thing he's DECIDED not to do is be the man you see in him.

He may be a few steps ahead of you right now. He may have seen your entire future together flashback. As in, back to the future.

No matter what happens, you "hear" him continually, and you haunt him, both primal ploys to keep each other from straying too far. Natures way.

If he marries, be sure you will be happy for him, and send blessings his way.

He'll be your greatest love, but not your greatest husband.

posted November 03, 2004 05:59 AM              

i think that sometimes (ok - alot) i tried to make him into someone else. he even mentioned this on occasion. i see this now and am ready to love him for who he is. i have before but somehow lost that along the way. i think that being alone for awhile made me get back in touch with who i am, and therefore it is easier for me to let him be who he is. i think this time alone has taught me alot. i actually have more respect for him because he did not bend to my will and change.

as far as me seeing a kind, loving person in him ~ well that came totally from him. he has shown that to me many times and continues to.

as for my muse, well i don't really see this guy as that. that's more that stupid cappy that made me so mad. he has actually inspired me to write a book. my libra has inspired me to become a better person.

posted November 11, 2004 02:25 PM              

Just find someone you can trust and be close to, everything else is gravy.