posted November 04, 2004 12:57 AM            

So, anyone feel like explaining this situation to me? Or sharing a similar experience...?

posted November 04, 2004 09:29 AM              

In 25 years, you will be 44 years old, and most probably still be interested in men (and sex). He will be... errr... 74, and be retired, and living in an old age home that smells of medicine and yuk, other crap.

Could you really see yourself loving this man in 25-40 years?

This I say without judgement; just concern.

posted November 04, 2004 09:29 AM              

I've felt connections with older people too. Of course, nothing romantic ever manifests. The special *ageless* energy from those relationships helps me move forward in knOwing what to look for with peers around my age.

posted November 04, 2004 02:06 PM            

Not that I am an expert on this matter - I do know a few things about being with an older man.

I met, fell in love with and married a man that was 16 years older than me (we later divorced after two years of married - BUT - even after 7 years of knowing each other we are still friends). He's a Virgo, Gemini moon, Leo Venus / Mars, Mecury in Virgo. His Taurus rising allowed my Venus and Sun to fall into his 7th and 8th houses giving us a special connection.

I never really had interest in much older men either, in fact like you, the thought of being with someone more than 6 years older than me creeped me out. I met Mr. Virgo and we had this instant kinship. We could talk for hours about life, politics, science..etc... being a Sag that meant so much to me- to find someone that seemed to understand me so well. He had traveled the world, came from a different background (East Coast Blue Blood and I am a West Coast American Indian from the OC..LOL).

We both have backgrounds in Science- that really drew us together. He was also an excellent provider in that I never had to worry about bills or money (although I did pay for my own things / bills). It was just this total sense of security and friendship.

The problems came about when we talked about family, lifestyle..intimacy. See, me being young and wanting a family was in direct conflict with his desire to just settle down and be the DC power couple. When we met, I was 28 and he was 44. Even our music choices, cultural wit..etc.. was off. I didn't understand some of his references and he didn't understand some of my slang.

I wanted to go out and "experience" the world - he wanted to have dinner and watch TV. He wasn't a bore, but at his age, he had already been there done that and didn't need to see it again. At my age I had finished college, spent a few years working and was ready to see what the world had to offer.

Now that I am 34 I can see where he was coming from. I have no desire to be back in those college years, drinking from a Keg and watching people pass out on our dorm couch. I have no desire to backpack across the EU with nothing but a cell phone and a list of youth hostels.

I don't believe that age is anything but a number. I do believe that cultural differences exist and that if two people can agree on those differences and they are fine with those differences, then yes, they do belong together. They can weather the storms and people making comments. People WILL make comments. I look almost 10 years younger than I am - I still get carded. My ex looked his age - great for his age, but still looked it. There was a couple of times when people asked if I was his daughter. Oh well, these things happen.

Now I am with a Taurus that is 5 1/2 years younger than me. We have many of the same interests and can compare generational events that I could not with my ex. LOL...funny enough, he doesn't get carded and yet I do...so that is cool...Gotta love good genes..and a Virgo rising.

posted November 04, 2004 09:49 PM            

geminigirl: yes..nice to know we're not alone. Aside from this man, I've drawn older male friends (truly just compassionate father figures of sorts) into my life in droves lately, and I rather enjoy it.

Yin: appreicate the heads up. I'd love to keep touch with him as a friend. I just get this powerful gut instinct that he is meant ot remain in my life and will reappear for a purpose. I've only felt this way with one other person, and though they've yet to retur, time will tell, for in both cirumstances, their are pretty potent karmic aspects.

miss_muffet: I know, you have a good point, I'm not thinking that far ahead, and gosh, he didn't like try to 'pick me up' or anything, so perhaps I'm only imagining the chemistry, or he truly is mannered enough to realize the gap. I'm a here and now kind of person lately, anyhow, so it's good to keep the future in perspective.

Aphrodite: you said exactly what my mom dear told me. I don't eactly know how I'm going to apply this lesson, as those around me are pretty darn immature to a Moon-Saturn child like me, bah....!

pixelpixie: thanks for the empathy. It helps to know others have felt this confusion of magetism. I need to vow to live in the deepest most genuine side of me and embrace my Aries passion for life's fullest.

pidua: I loved hearing your story! Oh, it is very claifying in a variety of ways, and I will take your words to heart, and of course, keep you posted.

sthenri: as always, Natasha, I know your grounded advice keeps my in check, and of course, careful. I do hope we can maintain an honest, unidealized relationship, for both sakes.

Thanks and hope to hear more from my friends out here.
Love and Lite!!

posted November 05, 2004 02:56 PM            

Actually, I have always felt comfortable with older people. When I was a kid I gravitated to the adults and their conversations. Also, my background may have something to do with it. I have a degree in biology and chemistry which forced me to work with older waaaaaaaaaaaay brilliant people.

After graduation I worked for a veterinary lab with people that had more initials behind their names than I thought possible and I had to talk to them to arrange consults for our diagnostic lab work - sometimes more than 100 vets/ vets with PhDs and research facilities a day.

I felt very comfortable with his family, with the exception that their being somewhat blueblooded intimidated me. His parents are both Taurus peeps, his father retired as the VP of an International Nautical supply company and was not very demonstrative.

I come from a well-to-do family, but not nearly as well to do as his was...AND we are very passionate and demonstrative in our emotions / temper. But, once I met them I just gave them big hugs and let the chips fall where they may (Saggie).

In the end, they loved me and I loved them. I could talk business, politics, current events...etc..

posted November 05, 2004 03:46 PM              

its a karmic thang i believe.

posted November 08, 2004 03:08 PM            

I think that the fact that you looked at the situation from all angles shows just how smart you really are. If he cannot accept your feelings, then although he is older - he is not emotionally mature.

I have met many older men that seem very distinguished, but inside they are little boys that need moms. They feel that a younger woman will be easy to mold and shape into their ideal woman. On some level my ex was like that, but he wasn't ready for a woman that although was young, was also very opinionated and strong-willed.

College will bring you so many wonderful experiences and will teach you so many things about life and yourself. Being attached to an older man during these upcoming years can actually take away from the valuable lessons you will learn.

Although I wouldn't want to go back to college - I have a huge smile on my face because I know you are going to just LOVE what life has in store for you. I still look back on those days with some angst...but mostly I laugh at all the fun that I had.