posted January 27, 2005 02:24 PM              

I pretty much told him how a good friend hd told me how archers tend to sometimes think from their horse end (laughs on that) and how I was told that I could say how I dont like him drinking too much alcohol or coffee - he said your friend is a wise person!

And now he wants to take me along with him on his adventures - he finally figured out what he wants and he is certain that I am the one who will share the magic with him!

I am still a little wary - but he has a tendency to melt my defences with his bright optimism. He says he cannot guarantee not to hurt me - just that I am the only person he sent away and who came back to tell him that I still loved him.

posted January 27, 2005 02:41 PM            

But, you have to give yourself a lot of credit too..because for some reason Bulls seem to have a way with us.

The major problem, that I see, between the two signs is that the Archer always needs to communicate and analyze (when we say we can guarantee we won't hurt you it does mean we think we will..it is just we hate promising something and letting the person down). The Bull likes to go on that steady path, not having to deal with the little details of analyzing this and that in the relationship. If it works..then is works...that is your philosophy.

When we start in on our questions "Do you still love me as much as you did before? Do you think we moved to fast? Are you happy?" The bull starts to think "OMG..this person is trying to break things off..or trying to shake things up". It freaks you out..and that freaks us out..LOL

I just went through that with my Bull. We are apart because of his training in MO..so the communication is important to me. I can be very abrasive and word my questions wrong. My analyzing can drive him nuts..but I am starting to learn why. It opens the door to an insecurity.."what if my prized possession wants to leave" is what the Bull thinks..then that starts the Bull's temper to spark.

Are you in a position where you can travel with him? That would be great and quite an adventure. Nothing ventured- nothing gained. If you get tired of it, then let him know..but he needs to know that you are there for him and that you accept him for who he is..magick and all.

posted January 27, 2005 10:17 PM              

And when I have made up my mind to be firm, he calls and I fall again - and once he is sure he has me back, he starts acting bossy again!

But he sneaks in an 'I love you' and waits, holding his breath, for me to say it too .. like a little boy at a candy store and I melt! But I was demonstrative - I told him I wanted to hug him and jsut cuddle and if he came around I might do that and earned a head massage in return - so I think, even if my case is entirely hopeless, we might be making some progress!

posted January 27, 2005 10:28 PM              

if you believe in magic (as i know you do!), i'll tell you what this song just said, i was typing, and looking for similar words..

"don't go too far.. stay who you are.."
sounds like good advice. keep it slow and steady and let him SHOW you and PROVE that he is ready to give and be the loving partner you need.. know what i mean?

posted January 28, 2005 12:51 AM            

Sometimes we Saggies can get too busy for our own good..meaning we forget to call...

It is hard for us to believe sometimes that we are so incredibly loved. Every time we say "I love you" we worry you won't say it back- because we realize that people can change their minds. Most often, we have been let down enough that we learn NEVER to take someone's love for granted. We like being chased a bit- just enough to let us know and when we are being stupid- tell us...tell us "Hey I love you, but this has to work both ways...you need to call me and let me know you haven't dropped off the face of the Earth!!!"

Keep up your optimism, but don't be afraid to be firm. Tell him what you 'NEED' and how if he wants you to join his circus you need certain things..like knowing you are important to him and that he loves you.

Also..here is a secret..he always wish the other person says they love us first...and often..then when we are secure we say it all the time. Once that love stops..we freak out again.

We also take things literally...that is a part of our child like thing in us..

I was married to a Virgo and when I told him I was not only promoted but I got a $5000 raise..he said "Congrats Honey..it's a Steak dinner tonight". I was so excited..I came home..but there was no dinner out..it was like nothing happened.

I was crushed. I felt like he let me down.

posted January 28, 2005 08:06 AM              

I told him things had to be different this time - I told him how I wanted to be his friend first and how I wish he would call before he disappeared. He told me he could not promise, and also that we were in too deep, we were too crazy in love to set boundaries and try to take things light. While this is great news from Mr. Evasive himself, it also means things are not gonna work out quite like what I expected.

I left him four messages yesterday - just four. He said he could tell how much I love him by the 'buncha' messages I left. I got a sneaky suspicion he was just absent to see if I miss him - cause I was so ambivalent the last time we talked - he wanted me to admit I felt as vulnerable as him and agree to his terms! Sneaky ****ard.

Now I have to go away for the weekend and I am sooooooooooooo tempted not to call and tell! But I am not so sure I want to get into his cat and mouse games - any advice?

posted January 28, 2005 08:57 AM              

1. Go on your weekend...and do not call him. If he calls you and you are available, by all means answer. Just do not call him again.

2. Make him work for you...you are worth it. What does this mean? Well, let HIM call you...men are hunters by nature...let him hunt you!! Back off and let him continue to come to you...trust that the love is strong enough to bring him around...trust and believe.

3. What is with the roller-coaster act of his appearing and disappearing? Why is this a trend with him? How exhausting...the base of your relationship can not survive if the base is made of jello...more stability is needed in order for you to find further depth in this relationship...

4. I am happy he is back in your life for your sake-please remember who you are and what you want in your ideal relationship...your Life and Happiness should only be 'enhanced' by this man and his love, not 'twisted and wagged back and forth like a dog's tail'...

5. Be strong and relax...let him come to you because you are worth the effort! Remember that always!

Good Luck-enjoy your weekend (even if he does not call...no worries-you WILL talk with him again)...Be in control...not trying to control him and his actions...just observe and you will learn a lot...

posted January 28, 2005 01:33 PM            

I like what GemStar said. Remember you have to be firm- you need to have kind of guidelines.

Contrary to what people may think, Saggies do NEED and RESPECT a firm hand in a relationship. Not being suffocated, but letting us know what the "rules" are without being so forceful that the leash is super short.

Don't leave without letting him know you are going. If he already knows you have a weekend planned- then that is enough. Don't play cat and mouse games for the sake of playing them. But you don't have to call him if you are busy and told him as such. Then just call him when you get back, let him know you are in town and love him..etc..

Remember the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you expect him to call you when he is out of town, then it has to work both ways unless otherwise informed.

He does need to do some chasing. Gem is so right about "having him work for it". I do that with my Taurus- there has to be some challenge. Even though I send him cards while he is away (about one every two weeks or so) I can't call him and leave lots of messages. 1) that is not my thing and 2) it would show that I am chasing him.

posted January 28, 2005 02:31 PM              

Pidua is right...Do unto others(etc..).

Just be yourself! Relax...and let him do some of the chasing...there is a lot of satisfaction in slowing down and letting Time and Love do their magic...just be patient...and enjoy your weekend in the meantime!

posted January 28, 2005 04:33 PM            

He talked to you yesterday. It isn't like he is ignoring you- he isn't going to call every couple of hours..that is stalking LOL

I know long distance things are hard- my guy and I lived in different states for a few months before I moved out here- which is why playing games is even worse on the relationship.

I was under the impression that the two of you hadn't talked in a couple of days- or he hadn't returned your call. But if you never even let him know that you are going on a trip..if this is a snap decision to make him see how much you mean to him- be careful of the consequences.

He already came back to you

He has made attempts at including you in his life

He says he loves you

Again, if he can at least reach you via cell phone, then cool- but if you split without any notice that could freak him out.

I remember one time when I was living in Maryland and Mr. Taurus was already out here. He was notified that he might have to leave for Iraq- and decided he needed some time to meditate. He went to a Bhuddist temple in Tucson. I thought he was only going to be gone until the following evening..but he wasn't and I couldn't get a hold of him.

I was frantic. I was scared and then I was ANGRY- it is still one of the few things that when I think about I get a bit steamed.

He has also played some of those "let her worry so she can see how much I mean to her".

I HATE those games...and when he does it to me, my natural instinct is to do it to him. BUT the resulting guilt is too much.

Save the game playing for nights of Trivial Pursuit or Monopoly..

posted January 31, 2005 03:05 PM              

My weekend went GRREAT! I got an eye infection and had to sleep it off but that was fun too!

Guess what - He called, then I called, then we cried on each other's shoulders abt how stupid we were and I made him promise not to play stupid games anymore. And today I wake up to an offline message from him telling me how he might not be able to call for a coupla days and he really misses me and will try to be with me as soon as possible! I mean, could you ask for a sweeter guy >>>

But my policy of a taste of his own medicind worked and now Im humming Gwen Stefani - Underneath it all!!!

In fact, Im in such a happy place, I will post the entire lyrics to that silly song stuck in my ear!

There's times where I want somethin' more
Someone more like me
There's times when this dress rehearsal
Seems incomplete
But, you see the colors in me like no one else
And behind your dark glasses you're...
You're somethin' else

Chorus:
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
D'You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely

You know some real bad tricks
And you need some discipline
But, lately you've been tryin' real hard
And givin' me your best
And, you give me the most gorgeous sleep
That I've ever had
And when it's really bad
I guess it's not that bad

(Repeat Chorus)

So many moons that we have seen
Stumblin' back next to me
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me better
I've seen right through and underneath
And you make me betta
Betta... betta...

Lady Saw:
For real
'Cuz underneath it all,
You are my real Prince Charmin'
Like the heat from the fire
You were always burnin'
And each time you're around
My body keeps callin'
For your touch
Your kisses and your sweet romancin'
There's an underside to you
That so many adore
Aside from your tempa
Everything else secure
You're good for me, baby
Oh that, I'm sure
'Cuz over and over again
I want more

Gwen:
You've used up all your coupons
And all you've got left is me
And somehow I'm full of forgiveness
I guess it's meant to be

posted January 31, 2005 05:05 PM              

Coupla things you might find amusing ...

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/004367.html

posted January 31, 2005 05:17 PM            

I am sorry that we keep missing each other..I am going to be leaving for Phoenix in a few and then flying out to Idaho tomorrow until the 7th. I will still check my e-mail though, in the evenings when my nephew goes to sleep ( I am taking care of him while his baby brother is being born- or hatched...LOL).

posted February 01, 2005 03:47 PM              

He is really making an effort to make it work for us. Can you believe it he gave up alcohol AND cut down on his caffeine intake after I told him I didnt like it! He is sooo strong and powerful, Im so proud of him!

posted February 07, 2005 04:49 PM            

I'm back ..Sounds like you woke him up and your firmness is what he needed. We look at our mates firm hand as being loving- not mean (unless they keep being critical- then all bets are off LOL).

Also, make sure you are always truthful- no lies of omission or "white lies" we HATE that..I am having a bit of a time with that right now. I have caught Mr. Taurus in a couple of "lies of omission" not on big things- just he saying he e-mailed me when he didn't (he later admitted it) or omitting details that he knows would upset me.

Archers just KNOW when someone is doing that- and it drives us nuts- because our analytical mind starts to ponder "well, if he / she can lie about little things, then they will lie about big things- therefore I no longer trust them". LOL..it is sad, but true.

Anyway, I have a ton of empathy for your Archer. I am a bit down about not getting a job that I wanted. In order for me to live with Mr. Taurus I must live in a "geographically remote" area. The closest Biotech is in Tucson and that is 75 miles away. He doesn't want me to take a job in Phoenix (where my dad lives) because it is 3.5 hours away and I will have to live with my dad / stepmom 4 days a week. I am running out of option LOL...but..I know Jupiter's luck will pop up sometime...

I am so happy for you..how are things going now?

I should also add though..that I spent the most wonderful week with my Scorp Sun / Taurus moon Nephew..My brother's wife had to have a C-section on 2/2/05 (a new little boy...he is so adorable). So I lived at their house full time. Lance is a doll and active as heck (Aries rising) we had so much fun and he just loves me to death (the feeling is mutual). I hear he has been a terror now, constantly asking where I am..LOL..

posted February 07, 2005 09:59 PM              

Thanks for the email addie too, I am sending you one in a coupla hours - hope it gets there soon!