posted February 03, 2005 03:42 AM            

I'm no sure-handed sharp shooter, so I communicate like a shotgun blast. My impatience to communicate leads me to spend a lot of time explaining myself in the aftermath. I want so desperately to seize the moment, to cut through all the bull and just make a connection, say something real.... I need to learn to take it slow, and remember that I only have one chance to make a first impression on a person.

Its that pesky Aqua moon: how many times have I made drastically impulsive moves, only to have to swear up and down that it is nothing like me - lol! But then, "fools rush in where angels fear to tread". Surely a certain degree of recklessness is essential!

With Cappy on the Ascendant, and Saturn in Virgo, at times, I’m not at all comfortable with my Aquarian side, or with Aries ruling the 3rd; at least, not while there's a close Mars/Merc conjunction in Sag. For one thing, it's not "cool". It's childlike. Too open, too effusive, too forthcoming. I know it causes me to appear very different than I am; very naive. But I'm not naive, just innocent. Unfortunately, most people can't tell the difference.

Communicating can be so frustrating; feels like I'm doing sign-language at a distance of a hundred yards, in a thick fog,... under water. I can get so bogged down in the minutia of a thing, that, if I tried to order my thoughts, I'd probably never get them out of my head, let alone onto the page.

Also, since Aquarius/Uranus is strong for me, I tend to take certain conceptual associations for granted, and I juxtapose ideas, which may, at first glance, appear odd or incongruent: “Judgment is the antithesis of understanding.” - that’s mine.
Oh, and I’d like to give every homeless person in the world a t-shirt that reads:
WILL BEG FOR FOOD.

I'm a very serious person, but I also love to bring out the kid in everyone. I’m kind of like Andy Kaufman in that way. My humor can be very sardonic and detached, with a strong sense of the absurd. If something goes wrong, I might say "let's get ****** about it!" At other times I'm just plain goofy…... real goofy. As in “this is so stupid, I dare you not to laugh” goofy.

With intimates and familiars, I can be very calm, reserved, and down to earth. Still, I often get carried away with myself, and I am definitely something of an absent-minded professor. Hence, like VTT, I sometimes fear I'm too eccentric for anyone to "get".

I don't think its the desperation talking, when I say that I would belong to any club that would have me as a member. On the contrary, I think it sets an exceedingly high standard. And its probably a rare bird, who could turn a lovingly blind eye to my idiosynchracies. People like me, no question about it. But, its one thing when people cant help but like someone, and another thing entirely when they feel they can love them intimately, as an equal? I dont want to just be admired for my peculiarities, by people who are amused or excited by my idiosynchratic nature. I want to be loved for it. I feel so unique, I wonder if anyone is similar enough to me, that they could enter into a really deep, like, to the roots, rapport with me.

The Stellium in Scorpio, Jupiter in the 7th, Neptune in the 11th, the 1st house Moon, and the Pisces SN, - all make it very easy for me to love, and to show affection for people. I'm good at seeing and appreciating their strengths, and getting them to do the same. I make a great teacher. I’m good at inspiring, encouraging, and sparking enthusiasms in people.

I think I'm so nervous and aloof much of the time, because I don’t know how to harness my “electro-magnetism”. It makes sense that I share my Sun, Moon, and Rising signs with Italian actor Roberto Benigni.

Because of my deep love-nature, it can be challenging for me to know when and where to draw boundaries between myself and others. Often, it seems I'll get as close as they'll let me. I'll have to get too close, just to know where the line is. And then I respect it, wherever it is.

I can easily charm people and make them feel like my best friend, not because I manipulate them, but because I have the ability to genuinely and demonstratively empathize with whomever I come in contact with. I don't judge people, and they are drawn to me like travellers to a well. And sometimes they do drain me.... And I feel like I hurt people when can’t commit to maintain this emotional connection/support regularly, so, often, I will appear uncharacteristically cold to more “casual” acquaintances, while I am learning to remain detached, to ration out my energies, and to reserve the tidal waves of display for one or two very special people in my life. But, as I have no one to be truly intimate with, which is what I most desire, I find myself having to hold a great reservoir of emotion at bay. And it feels like a damn is about to burst.

Stephen

PS. I also want to mention that my dog, Tinker, a grey Cockapoo, died a couple of years ago, and it still really messes with me not having an animal in the house. I love animals, especially dogs, and I have very good reason to suspect that I possess a psychic link with them. Its no wonder that I rush right up to people I like, - people I have a 6th sense about, - and practically lap their faces off? I'm HIGHLY intuitive, and, because I know my "hunches" (especially about people) are rarely off, I prefer not to deal in mixed-messages. At least, that way they know how I feel, or how I am prepared to feel about them, right?... I forget that others aren't always open to the same message, and that they need time to come to these realizations in their own way. Trouble is, I'm afraid I wont be able to persuade a person of my true worth, by making recourse to more conventional means.

---------------------
"I want to love first,
and live incidentally."
- Zelda Fitzgerald

posted February 03, 2005 09:56 AM              

Dear Stephen,

First, I would like to express condolences for the loss of your companion. I am not much of an animal person but I can relate to losing someone close to you, someone who was a constant companion and playmate.

Its true that people are easy to like and to make them like you is such an amusing pastime that it can consume years out of your precious reservoir of energy and time. But humanity is alluringly magical, almost prismatic in its myriad of colors and energies. It’s hard to resist its charms and its perhaps the best course to give in and spread the light of your love and emotions among all you come across. And therefore, it is especially endearing to be party to the inner secrets of your social behavior and graces. You come across as a charming, yet enigmatic persona, sometimes playful, often affectionate and always a hidden volcano of boiling intensity, the darker end of the rainbow.

I wish for you the graces of Mercury, to bless you with clear and articulate expression, and the sword of precision to cut through the cobwebs in your mind. I wish Venus would send her progeny to strike your heart with a longing for a sweet Persephone of your own, to hold and cherish and confuse and intimidate all at once ... so much so that she never gets the thought of leaving your lair. But most of all, I wish you a playmate, a companion to share and marvel at all your idiosyncrasies, sit on the grass and watch the fireworks of your wonderful and powerful mind with you …

Love

Maya

posted February 03, 2005 11:40 AM            

Do you want to know who I am?

I am the b-st-rd son of Emma Bovary and Dmitri Karamazov; Winnie Cooper and John the Baptist; Joan of Arc and P.T. Barnum; Sappho and Diogenes. I'm Kermit the Frog on acid.

Pleased to meetcha!!!

Woo-hoo,
Stephen

posted February 03, 2005 12:36 PM              

I'm really not sure that I fear I'm too eccentric to get, I've just noticed it in my life. People have insulted me by telling me, "You're too weird," and then stop talking to me like I've done something horrible, by saying something off-the-wall. It's this closemindedness or needing to live a small, barriered life that a lot of people have that disgusts me and makes me notice my eccentricity more. I still amount my eccentric nature to my Uranus squares as I have nothing in Aquarius which strikes some people as odd after being around me for awhile.

posted February 03, 2005 05:47 PM            

My best friend is an AquariusAriesAquarius, with Mars/Merc in Pisces, in the 1st.
He's an amazing person, and he gets me, but even he thinks some of my ideas and interests are outlandish. And if I show unbriddled enthusiasm, forget about it.

There's another friend, who had some dark "Christian" experience, which he jokes bitterly about on his way to the packy. His uncle is some amazing healer/missionary in Africa. He's so ashamed, but he's a Libra and he just shrugs it off and smiles, and smiles. We make eachother laugh at breakneck speeds. He's clever, and we're always sparring, especially when we play chess, spinning phrases back upon eachother - showing the situation in one light, then another, until we cant even find our breath to say the latest gem on the tip of our tongue, and we laugh ourselves sick.
I cant do that with anybody.

Another friend shares an interest in the western mystery tradition, but there is some incredible roadblock to our communication. He mumbels, trails off, spices his incoherence with esoteric buzz-words, and I dont know if he has anything to say at all. I lean in, ask him to speak up - try so hard, - but he too shrugs it off as it what he was saying didnt matter anyway. He's got a close sun/moon/chiron conjunction in Taurus.

The rest of the people in my life are pretty-well-confirmed cynics.

My ex still x-ercises a powerful influence on me. Her sun is on the Libra/Scorpio cusp, mars and venus conjunct in Scorpio, mercury in Scorpio, Cap rising, Cancer Moon. She is clever - a veritable encyclopedia of pop-culture trivia, very witty, but close-minded, and sh-talking. I know her so well, and I care for her, but her tongue is like acid, and whenever i visit her, i leave feeling like hell.

I can't blink without hearing her shrill "What's your PROBLEM?!?"

And the eventual refrain, "Duh, I'm just KIDDING!!! Urgh!!!"

Calgon, take me away.

posted February 03, 2005 05:49 PM              

Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Gemini 27°52'09 12 direct
Moon Taurus 29°31'58 11 direct
Mercury Gemini 07°46'37 11 direct
Venus Taurus 22°54'09 11 direct
Mars Libra 08°19'27 03 direct
Jupiter Scorpio 00°32'22 04 retrograde
Saturn Libra 15°29'54 04 stationary (D)
Uranus Sagittarius 01°34'37 05 retrograde
Neptune Sagittarius 25°36'24 06 retrograde
Pluto Libra 24°10'45 04 retrograde
True Node Cancer 13°22'33 12 retrograde

House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Cancer 27°29'48
2nd House Leo 17°27'11
3rd House Virgo 11°17'51
Imum Coeli Libra 11°33'31
5th House Scorpio 18°15'37
6th House Sagittarius 25°34'35
Descendant Capricorn 27°29'48
8th House Aquarius 17°27'11
9th House Pisces 11°17'51
Medium Coeli Aries 11°33'31
11th House Taurus 18°15'37
12th House Gemini 25°34'35

Major aspects
Sun Trine Jupiter 2°40
Sun Opposition Neptune 2°16
Sun Trine Pluto 3°41
Moon Conjunction Venus 6°38
Moon Quincunx Jupiter 1°00
Moon Opposition Uranus 2°03
Moon Sextile Ascendant 2°02
Mercury Trine Mars 0°33
Venus Quincunx Neptune 2°42
Venus Quincunx Pluto 1°17
Venus Sextile Ascendant 4°36
Jupiter Sextile Neptune 4°56
Jupiter Square Ascendant 3°03
Uranus Trine Ascendant 4°05
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1°26
Neptune Quincunx Ascendant 1°53
Pluto Square Ascendant 3°19
Numbers indicate orb (deviation from the exact aspect angle).

This is me

------------------
~*~ Cusp: Gemini/Cancer, Cancer rising, Taurus moon ~*~

posted February 11, 2005 08:28 PM              

I'm a twentyseven year old female - ignorant, arrogant, pretty, smart, shy and a few other things including lazy and easily discouraged when it has to do with the "norm" and "majority" or I have even one thing I can't stand about myself. I like to do things in my style and I don't like to follow - well, I rather understand something rather than mean something but that's been changing these past few years. i am very funny (especially when I don't realize it or try to be) but that's at the expense of myself because the wierdest things happen to me but I'm old enough to be use to it like making sure my feet are firmly planted on an icy surface and hands are steady - lol. I LOVE a challenge especially in regards to romantic/personal situations. I LOVE to see peoples faces and interactions of any kind. I don't necessarily like talking to people on the phone - at all. Actually, I can speak when it comes to speeches but don't ask me about anything personal - I might studder sometimes because my "true" feelings are as flighty as I am and never seem to ground itself. I ALWAYS have ideas and I think myself to sleep so much so I don't remember actually falling asleep. Ummm, I like to write but that's an ongoing process. I like to read also but reading has been out of the question these past few years as far as lengthy books are concerned but I feel that is beginning to change again, I have yet to finish reading any self-help book but I'm a sucker for novels and such. I LOVE to help others and I think that's my path in life which is cool because I seem to help others better than myself and I actually unknowingly help myself by helping others plus I'm beginning to realize that I enjoy it, it's fun, and I can actually come and go as I please rather than be restricted to one thing/one career, etc. I can ascertain situations, trends, etc. pretty well but if I try to place a bet, monetarily or otherwise, I usually lose otherwise I'm pretty much on target. I don't really like to be depended on more than a week and it's very difficult for me to depend on someone else - especially if my heart is on the table because I'm forced to remember that I have one. I love to watch sports but really only when it's like a get-together with a bunch of people or close family members (I have been out of the social circle for a bit and I mean a bit but I make up for it on the net) - been a bit lazy in actually participating in sports these past few years. oops. I love all the sciences - especially metaphysical endeavors. I like studying politics (ahhh, my way or the highway). I get nervous when I realize that people are following me or that I have to start a conversation or that in order for any project to start I have to make the initial move - everything will be fine, just don't tell me that I have to make the initial move and such. lol. I like to travel any way possible - responsibilities and money be damned, I always find a way. I LOVE the arts and I mean, I really love it only I "left it to others" a time ago because I didn't want to make a "living" off of it. yeah, duh??? I still keep an eye on it all though.

I never had a "boyfriend", have had secret lovers, never been married, don't have children, i'm the oldest of four......mom is deceased, father is non-existent and I'm cool with teens and elderly but anybody else requires effort on my part. I look serious but am really into playing, adventures, and surprises.

I tend to know people of all nationalities, etc but seem to have a difficult time with females unless we both respect each other enough not to judge one another and one dirty superficial downward look my way - i'm not interested in you and I don't care if someone doesn't like me, I rather like that very much but if someone compliments me, I get really nervous because I'm not use to it/not use to actually hearing it. I have no problem with men unless a "label" is necessary for our relationship then I'm uncomfortable and squirming away. i like to present myself "differently" - I don't like to fit in rather I end up standing out regardless because that's just how I am - I'm just coming out of self-confidence issues that plagued me for years so now I'm feeling very good about myself and what I do, am capable of doing, have done, and will do in the future.

l o l / whew - I think I introduced myself enough. Here is my chart - aren't there so many trines - I heard that makes the native lazy / lol, go figure.

Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Sagittarius 27°03'37 05 direct
Moon Aries 16°15'38 09 direct
Mercury Capricorn 02°55'46 05 retrograde
Venus Sagittarius 18°52'56 04 direct
Mars Leo 11°17'39 12 retrograde
Jupiter Cancer 01°36'25 11 retrograde
Saturn Virgo 00°29'41 01 stationary (R)
Uranus Scorpio 14°42'40 03/4 direct
Uranus is technically near the end of house 3 and is interpreted in house 4.
Neptune Sagittarius 16°16'21 04 direct
Pluto Libra 16°24'45 03 direct
True Node Libra 12°16'03 02/3 retrograde
True Node is technically near the end of house 2 and is interpreted in house 3.

House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Leo 24°10'59
2nd House Virgo 16°36'00
3rd House Libra 14°09'10
Imum Coeli Scorpio 17°05'46
5th House Sagittarius 22°30'14
6th House Capricorn 25°31'00
Descendant Aquarius 24°10'59
8th House Pisces 16°36'00
9th House Aries 14°09'10
Medium Coeli Taurus 17°05'46
11th House Gemini 22°30'14
12th House Cancer 25°31'00

Major aspects
Sun Conjunction Mercury 5°52
Sun Opposition Jupiter 4°33
Sun Trine Saturn 3°26
Sun Trine Ascendant 2°53
Moon Trine Venus 2°37
Moon Trine Mars 4°58
Moon Quincunx Uranus 1°33
Moon Trine Neptune 0°01
Moon Opposition Pluto 0°09
Moon Trine Ascendant 7°55
Mercury Opposition Jupiter 1°19
Mercury Trine Saturn 2°26
Venus Conjunction Neptune 2°37
Venus Sextile Pluto 2°28
Venus Trine Ascendant 5°18
Mars Square Uranus 3°25
Mars Trine Neptune 4°59
Mars Sextile Pluto 5°07
Jupiter Sextile Saturn 1°07
Neptune Sextile Pluto 0°08

posted February 12, 2005 12:24 AM              

Okay about myself... I am known as sweet, a little sensitive, genuine, sometimes girly girly and really playful and spontaneous by my friends. I would say my picture of myself is a bit different..I am a caring and compassionate person so that makes me sweet and genuine. But they don't see that behind my smile sometimes I feel lonely in a world of small talk and material talk. I am most happy when I have deep conversations and feel I'm really connecting with people. I guess thats why I have my fiance, 3 best friends and a really close mom, godmother and little sis in my life. I don't make tons of friends, but when I do, it's always meaningful.

I can be really painfully shy sometimes around strangers, so thats always been something thats kind of kept me back from getting what I want in life. However watch out when you get to know me! You might get caught offgaurd hehe. Since I don't my birthtime yet...I can say Venus in Virgo and probably a shy asc. might be the culprit of making me shy, but this Lion is not so easily tamed.. beneath the rigid exterior, I'm a fiery, frolicking ball of sunshine I wish sometimes I had a sign that reads "Be patient and you will see this Virgin transform before your eyes into a brilliant Lioness".

Most don't get to witness this sight that is unless you meet me in a night club or party and I'm on the dancefloor. When you put on dance music put me in a room full of positive energy...you will have the pleasure of meeting ME in all my glory! I love dancing and the arts, I feel like I can express myself through it.

Anyways I guess thats enough about me for now, don't want to bore you guys. Heres what I know about my chart w/out birth time...

Sun~Leo
Moon~Taurus
Mercury~Virgo
Venus~Virgo
Mars~Cancer
Jupiter~ Sag
Saturn~Libra
Uranus~Sag
Neptune~Sag
Pluto~Libra

Do you guys know if all the Sag would make me more uh Saggy, even though those planets don't influence much of my personality?

posted February 12, 2005 07:30 PM              

I'm pretty indecisive, which I think is because my head (virgo) often contradicts with my heart (pisces). Or rather, my heart disagrees with what my head is thinking. Or to put it another way, my head often scoffs at what my heart is feeling. Or something. :P I could go on.

Anyway, I'm a complete daydreamer, but often lack the nous to act on my dreams. I kind of like to not act becuase that way my dreams do not disappoint. (I tend to find real life disappointing and have developed screwed-up ways of thinking to deal with it.)

I'm also pretty introverted; lately I've become even more so as I've recently started keeping a journal again. I love writing but find it hard to do so without over-criticising myself. Its a real bummer! But I have this strong need probably because over the years while growing up I feel as though I gradually lost my voice (not literally), due to extreme lack of confidence and upbringing and certain life experiences. I'm trying to get it back now, but to do so I am going through a lot of self- analysis, which means i tend to shut the outside world out and find it hard to resurface again.

Anyway, enough about all that, I love astrology, and this great forum, full of great people from all over the planet. you guys rock!!!

here are my stats:

planet sign degree house motion
Sun Virgo 12°33'35 03 direct
Moon Pisces 21°25'25 09 direct
Mercury Leo 27°23'05 02/3 stationary (D)
(Mercury is technically near the end of house 2 and is interpreted in house 3.)

Venus Virgo 15°01'11 03 direct
Mars Aquarius 11°59'06 08 retrograde
Jupiter Scorpio 29°16'05 05 direct
Saturn Gemini 06°22'02 11/12 direct
(Saturn is technically near the end of house 11 and is interpreted in house 12.)

Uranus Libra 11°59'43 04 direct
Neptune Sagittarius 00°27'42 05 direct
Pluto Virgo 28°53'58 03/4 direct
(Pluto is technically near the end of house 3 and is interpreted in house 4.)

True Node Aquarius 14°21'36 08 retrograde

House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Cancer 08°47'36
2nd House Leo 02°43'04
3rd House Leo 28°52'44
Imum Coeli Virgo 29°17'33
5th House Scorpio 03°21'25
6th House Sagittarius 07°26'32
Descendant Capricorn 08°47'36
8th House Aquarius 02°43'04
9th House Aquarius 28°52'44
Medium Coeli Pisces 29°17'33
11th House Taurus 03°21'25
12th House Gemini 07°26'32

Major aspects
Sun Conjunction Venus 2°28
Sun Quincunx Mars 0°34
Sun Square Saturn 6°12
Sun Sextile Ascendant 3°46
Moon Opposition Venus 6°24
Moon Trine Jupiter 7°51
Moon Opposition Pluto 7°29
Mercury Square Jupiter 1°53
Mercury Square Neptune 3°05
Mars Trine Saturn 5°37
Mars Trine Uranus 0°01
Jupiter Conjunction Neptune 1°12
Jupiter Sextile Pluto 0°22
Saturn Trine Uranus 5°38
Saturn Opposition Neptune 5°54
Uranus Square Ascendant 3°12
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1°34
Numbers indicate orb (deviation from the exact aspect angle).