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Author
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Topic: Mother/Daughter lessons
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valcap
Newflake Posts: 0
From: manteo nc usa
Registered: Sep 2009
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posted February 04, 2005 12:30 PM
  
Hi! I have had the pleasure of visiting this forum daily for some time now, and it is so comforting to find like minded people with such solid insight. I have been struggling with a situation and would welcome your thoughts. My relationship with my mother is causing me great pain and negativity. I have tried so hard for so long to keep plugging away, but the result is always the same. I keep feeling this need to remove myself from such constant negativity, but i hesitate because i am afraid that reaction can't be right. I believe we are incarnating with specific people to work through unresolved issues, and i fear that abandoning the relationship is the opposite of what i am meant to do with it. However, i also wonder if my lesson this time around might be to stand up for myself and not allow people to harm my spirit. I pray for clarity on this issue, and have opened my heart up to the answer, whatever it may be. I am wondering if there is anything in my chart that may guide me as to what my lesson with my mother may be. ANY thoughts any of you may have would be so greatly appreciated. Much Love.
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Atlantic Myst
unregistered
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posted February 04, 2005 12:55 PM
Val Cap post your chart so we can see. Awwww I know how you feel I have a pretty rocky relationship with my mother she's a gemini. Sometimes we are best friends and sometimes we want to bite eachothers heads off. What sign is your mother?------------------
~*~ Cusp: Gemini/Cancer, Cancer rising, Taurus moon ~*~
Let's go...
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maya-v
unregistered
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posted February 04, 2005 01:02 PM
For me, its worse because my sister is a Cappy Sun Libra Moon with a Gem rising. Mom is a Scorpio and I am sadly a free spirited but very deeply rooted stubborn Bull. So, er, the combination is somewhat combustible. Now I live like a million miles away and can see them in a softer light ...Except my sister just dropped the bomb that she is planning to VISIT me and will be staying for TWO MONTHS to get a few courses in Photography and get closer to this guy she is pretty serious abt. Nothing wrong if you look at the surface but it is freaking me out BIG TIME ... I just got some sense of balance and self-pride and Im sure she is going to destroy whatever calm there is in my seas with her constant negativity and petty competition. My friends keep telling me to be strong and stand up to her petty games but Im so used to being pulled down by her I just get thsi other personality around her - she brings out the worst in me! It might have something to do with Chiron in Taurus and also Uranus in Scorpio in Third House ... I can never escape the clutches of my dysfunctional family!!! On the other hand ... "It's very expressive of myself. I just lump everything in a great heap which I have labeled "the past," and, having thus emptied this deep reservoir that was once myself, I am ready to continue." Zelda Fitzgerald IP: Logged |
valcap
Newflake Posts: 0
From: manteo nc usa
Registered: Sep 2009
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posted February 04, 2005 01:17 PM
Thanks for the replies. My mother is a pisces sun sign, but without her birth time i am in the dark as to her other data. It's hard for a cap like me to entertain the idea of letting go of a family relationship...
My planets are
Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Capricorn 19°22'38 12 direct
Moon Scorpio 10°46'43 09 direct
Mercury Sagittarius 28°21'26 11 direct
Venus Aquarius 22°31'39 01 direct
Mars Aries 09°34'15 02 direct
Jupiter Sagittarius 24°26'22 11 direct
Saturn Taurus 29°59'08 04 retrograde
Uranus Libra 18°14'48 09 direct
Neptune Sagittarius 04°23'22 10 direct
Pluto Libra 02°02'34 08 retrograde
True Node Aquarius 05°22'19 01 retrograde
House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Capricorn 25°17'37
2nd House Pisces 07°19'33
3rd House Aries 16°04'03
Imum Coeli Taurus 15°45'05
5th House Gemini 09°23'41
6th House Cancer 01°07'13
Descendant Cancer 25°17'37
8th House Virgo 07°19'33
9th House Libra 16°04'03
Medium Coeli Scorpio 15°45'05
11th House Sagittarius 09°23'41
12th House Capricorn 01°07'13
Major aspects
Sun Square Uranus 1°08
Sun Conjunction Ascendant 5°55
Moon Quincunx Mars 1°12
Mercury Sextile Venus 5°50
Mercury Conjunction Jupiter 3°55
Mercury Quincunx Saturn 1°38
Mercury Square Pluto 3°41
Venus Sextile Jupiter 1°55
Venus Trine Uranus 4°17
Mars Trine Neptune 5°11
Saturn Opposition Neptune 4°24
Saturn Trine Pluto 2°03
Saturn Trine Ascendant 4°42
Neptune Sextile Pluto 2°21
Numbers indicate orb (deviation from the exact aspect angle).
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GingerB
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2005 07:56 AM
I've no experience compared to some of the other's here, but I can tell you, that if a Pisces is being negative, it is because somewhere inside themselves they are not happy.
(possibilities of planets being placed may have alot to do with this if it is a 'natural' thing for her to be this way)And more than likely if she's being negative with other's, then she's already chewed her self up really good. The negativity usually starts inside, and eats it's way out. She may have been unhappy, uncontented, and miserable for a very long time, before she started on anyone else but herself. (other than her children, which she may figure understands her as she does them, since you are a part of each other) Maybe you could ask her for her birth data, here and there. Ya know...
Mom where were you born?
(some other time)Mom do you have a birth certificate, can I see it? ^ the above would be the way a Pisces would do the asking, as we are usually pretty good at fishing for info in a round about way, and are usually patient enough to do so at different times, as long as we get the info. Being a Pisces she's proably very perceptive. Just ask her right out for this info, and let her know that you want to try to figure out how the two of you might be able to get along better, or something to that affect. Is she in physical pain?
Physical pain, continually can make the best of us turn into hateful beings, even and especially to ourselves, and then to the world outside us. How old are you? IP: Logged |
GingerB
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2005 08:06 AM
And I think, that if you know the day and year, you should be able to find her moon sign.
That would help some...IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 4783
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 06, 2005 08:10 AM
Welcome!  ------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
ariestiger
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2005 01:48 PM
Valcap,
Your 4th house could tell you a lot. As far as I see you could have Saturn in the 4th, a "heavy" planet in the house of motherhood/family. My DH has the same placement and has lessons that need to be learned from his relationship with his mother/family. I on the other hand have Saturn in the 10th (house of fatherhood), with an empty 4th house, and have issues with both my parents and families in general.So yes, astrology does work!!! IP: Logged |
valcap
Newflake Posts: 0
From: manteo nc usa
Registered: Sep 2009
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posted February 06, 2005 11:08 PM
Thanks so much for the thoughtful replies and welcome  I hesitated to ask for help in my very first post, as I have not contributed in a recognizable manner here yet, but I know this is a special place with much wisdom floating around, and I know that i did not stumble upon it by accident.
Yes, saturn is in my 4th house,and i have experienced extreme hardships with my mother. I am an adult now(33),a mom myself, and my children are such gifts to me. I tell them every day how happy i am that I get to be their Mom. My relationship with my own mother is complex, painful,and quite draining. She has been incredibly unhappy my entire lifetime, and my 95 year old grandmother has told me often that she used to worry constantly about my mother even as a child because she was so unpredictable and often in despair. I have 3 siblings who are also working through their own issues with my mom, but the sole burden lies on me.(By my own choice.)I suppose the truth is that it would be such a relief to cut myself off from her, but when i am still,listening for that small voice, I always get one word;"love". I just wish i felt it possible to be loving to myself while demonstrating love to her. I guess i want easy answers to the same questions that are swirling over in another thread in this forum. We are all seekers...IP: Logged |
thirteen
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2005 10:41 AM
I feel compelled to respond here, not astrologically but from my own wisdom and experience. I am 45, have has issues with mom all my life. Even now after her heart attack i find the same tension there. I think you may be doing the right thing by pulling away. I did. I kept phone contact but no in person visits. What happened was her heart attack. It forced me to reconnect and that is what life does with those our souls have chosen to journey with. Life will show you what needs to be done. So if you feel that pulling away is right then that is what life is showing you now. Don't worry. They don't ever really get too far away. Somehow someway you will reconnect. Just follow your intuition.IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2005 12:18 PM
Hi valcap. Welcome!  I have mother issues too, and I agree that we are incarnated with certain people for whatever Karmic reasons... BUT... There is such a thing as Free Will. If the person you are incarnated with freely chooses to be a toxic person, I believe you owe it to yourself to stay away. Trust me, plenty of other people will pop into your life with similar issues as your mother, and allow you to work out your lessons with them. Detaching yourself from your mother will not change the fact that you have specific Karma to be worked out. Karma will see to it that you have the opportunities to learn the lessons you set out to learn to begin with. You don't have to completely let go. I'm sure you love your mother, and want only the best for her. I find imagining a short brick wall between the other person and myself to be helpful. Low enough that you can see them clearly, but high enough to keep their yucky energy on their side of the wall. Their problems are their problems... not mine.  IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2005 12:23 PM
I see myself having a heart attack before my mother, so I have learned not to have sympathy for her. It was a tough decision. Maya, your sister sounds like mine. I do not like living under the same roof as competitive women because it undermines everything. One of the reasons I believe I have so much trouble with the other woman in my romantic relationships, is because I had to compete with my sister, who would take my boyfriends. I always feel undermined by another woman in a relationship.I relate to seeing someone in a softer light far away too, but then reality hits. Maybe your sister has changed, or at least you can advise her that you have boundaries right away and then do not change them. Natasha
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thirteen
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2005 01:47 PM
"Trust me, plenty of other people will pop into your life with similar issues as your mother, and allow you to work out your lessons with them. Detaching yourself from your mother will not change the fact that you have specific Karma to be worked out. Karma will see to it that you have the opportunities to learn the lessons you set out to learn to begin with."I really like this comment. Its so true. When I got away from my mother it did seem as if I had a very similar Karma to work out with Mother in law. ( I did it!) and now I do find that it is easier to deal with that particular issue with my own mother.
Very interesting perspective and It feels right on to me. Thank you. IP: Logged |
astro junkie
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2005 04:10 PM
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valcap
Newflake Posts: 0
From: manteo nc usa
Registered: Sep 2009
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posted February 08, 2005 09:36 PM
Great perspectives! Thanks for sharing them with me. I like the "brick wall as a protective measure" idea. I am trying to work through this relationship instead of letting it go but it is such a struggle some times. i sense that as long as i am holding on to anger towards her, withdrawing from her or not is irrelevant. The anger is the stumbling block. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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