|
Author
|
Topic: Cardinal moms & daughters: anyone else have a clash?
|
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 26, 2005 07:35 PM
  
My mother is Capricorn/Leo Moon/Virgo Rising and I am a Libra/Pisces Moon/Leo Rising. For most of my life it's been kind of a love-hate thing between us. I struggled with my self-esteem for many years because my mom would always tell me things like "you'll never be pretty, you'll always be plain" or "why don't you wear something more chic". As an adult, I managed to escape her "constructive criticism" for many years by drinking and not coming around much. Now that she's elderly and I find myself in charge of her care, we have another problem: she resents me because in a sense our roles are reversed and I'm the "mom". And now that we're in closer contact, I'm a target for that "constructive criticism" again.
Anyone have any suggestions for dealing with this relationship so I won't end up in the nuthouse or back inside the bottle?IP: Logged |
moonshine
unregistered
|
posted February 26, 2005 08:05 PM
I so sympathise with you and relate to your situation Azalaksh.  My mother sounds a lot like yours, I've grown up with her making similar comments like "no-one'll ever marry you, you're too ugly" "you're not capable of doing that" etc etc. And constantly putting me down in front of others.I'm also afraid of what's going to happen when she gets too old because if she has to move in with me, I will be joining you in that nuthouse! Because Im in a similar situation, Im not sure of what advice I can give you. I know how hard it can be to talk to or reason with these types of personalities.  My mum's a Gemini and I've roughly worked out that her moon might be in Capricorn. So there's some similarity there. Apparently Gem/Cap is a hard combination - and sounds much like her from what I've read.
.
I also have a pisces moon, like you, and tend to take things to heart and absorb whatever comes my way. I dont think my cancer rising helps me defend myself very well either! So we have some similarities in our signs - I wonder if there is something there?  She's also a master of emotional blackmail and knows just to make me feel guilty. It took me a long time to finally move out because I felt so guilty about it! As much as I hate blaming my problems on my parents, I can't help it, they (esp my mum) have really held me back, sometimes overtly, but mostly by gnawing away at my confidence. I hate to "blame" people becuase I think it sets me back, but I do all the same. Be strong, I know what you're going through. Love, Monika 
virgo/pisces/cancer
IP: Logged |
moonshine
unregistered
|
posted February 26, 2005 08:11 PM
I've just realised you were asking about Cardinal signs.. me & my mum are both mutable,and we still clash! :-\IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 26, 2005 08:37 PM
Thanks Moonshine, you don't know how much I appreciate your empathy (Pisces Moon to Pisces Moon)! Sometimes I wonder if this is a "karma to pay back" situation where I ragged on her or demeaned her in a previous incarnation....
Maybe the squares "clash" is applicable in any of the quadruplicites, not just Cardinal. I just thought it might be more pronounced because of the Cardinal energy.
I can post our charts here if anyone else (sthenri? A.J.?) who is skilled at the synthesis has a moment to share their thoughts.
You hang in there too, Monika! Thanks again.IP: Logged |
moonshine
unregistered
|
posted February 27, 2005 02:02 PM
Thats a good idea - why dont you post your two charts, Im sure someone here will help you analyse them!  IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 27, 2005 03:59 PM
OK, but I couldn't get the graphic image thing right. I've seen other people post their charts from astro.com but I haven't figured it out yet....here I am:
http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=achart_4dgfileifkWqZ-u1109014729.10247.4918.gif&res=100&va= and here's Mom:
http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=achart_4dgfileifkWqZ-u1109014729.10313.32463.gif&res=100&va= IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 95
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 27, 2005 09:25 PM
I'm a cancer and i really clash with my aries daughter, shes a real piece of work, yeah sometimes i just spank her senselessIP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 27, 2005 09:35 PM
Gee, thanks, BR!
(**thinks of spanking naughty mom**...)IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Newflake Posts: 8
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 28, 2005 01:55 AM
BR~ Don't be a geek!
Yeah.. you're a Cancer all right...  ------------------
......Everytime she sneezes I believe it's love.......~*Counting Crows* IP: Logged |
astro junkie
unregistered
|
posted March 01, 2005 11:20 AM
Azalaksh -Your mom may be toxic for you ... hate these kinds of dilema's. ------------------
... it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness IP: Logged |
thosa
unregistered
|
posted March 01, 2005 11:27 AM
My mum and dad are both cardinal signs...mum libra, dad aries and I'm a cancerian...and yes I've had my fare share of clashes with them...and I hate to have clashes with them, cause it leads nowhere, and I know most of the time there's not even a logical reason for the clash to occur!IP: Logged |
Saturn's Child
unregistered
|
posted March 01, 2005 12:41 PM
Azalaksh...I know it's difficult for you.
My mom was a cappy...and a perfectionist...I am a Gemini and imperfection personified! Growing up I felt I could never measure up to her standards. Later, when she fell ill to cancer, I moved in with her and became her primary care giver. It was at once the most beautiful and horrible experiences I've had. I would not trade it now and will never regret having done it. Before she died she told me things I never had known about her...like, she wanted to be a dancer???? Who would have thought??? Anyway, it will make you stronger, as challenges generally do. I also feel as if some karmic debt was paid. I do know about the love/hate mother/daughter thing...for sure. What I can tell you now is...since she is gone now 15 years, I do not miss her any less than the first year after her death. Treat the whole situation, including yourself, with love. You know from the past that the bottle won't really help. Try to be strong and continue to let yourself grow. You will come out on the other side of the situation in a better place.Blessings  IP: Logged |
Mystic Dreamz
unregistered
|
posted March 01, 2005 05:14 PM
Gemini/cancer here born on the cusp. My mother is a gemini. We can be great friends one day and talk and talk and talk then the next day we wanna kill eachother.
My cappy sister says she sometimes feels like shes her mother lol.
But then again cappys sometimes try and be everyone's mother lololo IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted March 01, 2005 11:15 PM
Thanks, Saturns Child, you really touched me by sharing your experience. I think Parent-Child relationships are THE most difficult relationships we are ever given to deal with. And you are right (and I discovered this finally for myself ten years ago) the Bottle is no help, although for many years I found solace there. I read somewhere that Pisces Moons can be more likely than others to suffer the fate of death by drowning -- either internally or externally, and with my Neptune conjunct Sun, I was close to experiencing that internal drowning.
I really feel strongly about the Karma-to-pay-back angle, so I take it One Day At A Time with Mom. I know I will miss her when she's gone, but she wants to die and be with my dad, and it's tough to deal with a person who just doesn't want to be on this planet, so I pray that God will let her go soon. Not for my convenience, but because she's so unhappy and in such poor health.
Thanks again for your compassion, everybody who posted here (except BR!),
KarelIP: Logged |
moonlightmaiden
unregistered
|
posted March 03, 2005 07:50 PM
My mom and I are both cardinal....I love her so much and really depend on her sometimes....I think I tend to get on her nerves sometimes (but with everyone eh) but we have always been super close and never clashed....of coarse this probably doesn't help much hehe we have had some nasty fights but that has been two times out of my entire life......but I have to agree with some of the things said about Capricorn (moms sign)I really clash with my dad though who happens to be a cardial sign as well, we have that love/hate thing going on.....well its just really one sided....he doesn't hate me at all hehe  IP: Logged |
astro junkie
unregistered
|
posted March 05, 2005 12:18 PM
Azalaksh -Wow - there's a lot going on their. Best wishes. ------------------
... it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
