posted March 29, 2005 11:36 AM              

But I like this guy enough as a person to try one more time: I've wasted the past couple of months dreaming/hoping for something more. But it's destroying me emotionally. He's been so incredibly patient and understanding in all of this (the bigger person, sadly) that I have to make it up to him by backing off. But I'm afraid of how to deal with the tiny details of staying in touch but detached and "friendly"

posted March 29, 2005 01:19 PM            

It *is* tough, especially when your heart is involved. At first, it may be necessary for you to limit contact for your own well-being and peace of mind.

I say this, because it is really hard for me to detach, especially when someone has my heart, especially an Aqua male...I speak from experience...

Aquas have a tough time with heavy emotional-ness. I'm not saying they can't at all, but approach most everything from a rational, cerebral standpoint.

That said and if you're still up for it...

Be friendly - keep up contact with a handwritten note (snail mail) or email. It is the thoughtfulness that will touch both the male and female. Aquas love to stay in contact with their friends, and your Aqua male-friend is exhibiting the typical patience and willingness to stay in contact even though he knows how you feel. Keep the subject light, but interesting. Aquas love a well-informed person, as they tend to be this way themselves, interested in everyone and just about every subject. An Aqua will always be interested in how you are doing and what is going on with you. Be a friend and show a genuine interest in return in his interests, unexpectedly ask him how he is from time to time. I can't emphasize the friendship side of things here enough, as much as it is hurting you - friendship is most important above all to the Aqua native.

Don't be surprised, though by their sudden interest and just as sudden detachment or 'disappearance'...this is typical of an Aqua person. It doesn't mean they don't care, because they do, but a light, airy approach is the way this native is most of the time. The more you are able to detach, the easier it will be all around for you in the long run with him and any other guy you're interested in, not just Aquas.

Oh, and they notice everything.
(ask me how I know)

I hope in time you find someone who fills your heart's desire so you won't be feeling this way...

Someone will come along and offer more feedback in this - I'm sure you've read other threads about this enigmatic native!

posted March 29, 2005 04:28 PM              

I have to give him his space. Do not pressure them emotionally, don't call them let them call you.

I can be very clingy and he'd sometimes back away. But then I had to start ignoring him not because I wanted to but because I had too.

Then he started calling me like hell we'd talk for 4 hours each night. The last 2 days I have spent with him.

It sucks because that is how they are unless they can feel secure enough to at least show some more feelings but they will usually be emotionally detached. Not in a bad way but that's just how they work.

I know it sucks. They will be like this with friends and sometimes even there family.

But if you are interested in more than a friend then make sure you let them know even if it is only once.

Then it is up to them to decide. Some of them take it......real......real slow.

posted March 29, 2005 04:43 PM            

Much more can develop from a platonic friendship for us Aquas. I often say we dont see ppl in gender, we see them as ppl first -and then much later, we see them as a person we are physically attracted to.

Keep up the friendship. Dont be heavy. Dont be too emotional and above all be interesting...this is how to win your Aquas heart.(did I mention patience also?)

posted March 29, 2005 05:20 PM            

the time i went through it, the guy was a libra male with an a aqua ascendant. i've known him for three years, but sometime last year i realized how interesting & smart he was, and besides that we had tons in common. but he has feelings for this aqua girl whose stringing him aroung majorly, so i had to back off. now i think i love him even more, real platonic love. i really don't feel anything any deeper now, and i don't want to be more than friends.

posted March 29, 2005 05:31 PM              

I know it sucks...my heart goes out to you.

posted March 30, 2005 12:13 AM            

I wish I had never fallen for such an air-guy. I know how it is to be emotional and it is very hard to detach. Maybe its not even worth it. I dunno, we'll see how it turns out to know if it was worth it.

I have to constantly try to find something "interesting" that is also "light" to write about to this Aqua guy, but unfortunately for me--I think heavy topics are way more interesting and I'd rather discuss them instead. I think passionately romantic gestures are a turn-on, so why am I trying to like distracted and un-emotional topics just to get this guy to like me? Because, honestly, the second that happens, I'll just want to get heavy and deep with him. What gives>>>>?

posted March 30, 2005 02:01 AM              

do you know your man's astrology?

~moon, venus and mars?

posted March 30, 2005 02:09 AM              

I tend to attract Aqua males for some reason, both Aqua suns and moons all the time, mostly Aqua suns, but I dont like them because they are not passionate/intense/emotional enough for me. I usually find that being driven, talkative, pretty which helps ALOT, and most of all, downright mean to them, can turn them on.

What do I mean by being mean?

Most of the Aqua men I know I find them to be totally unambitious and unworthy of a second thought by myself, I let them know that they have to straighten up before any woman will commit with them, they are too flakey and untraditional etc. I dont know why I Say this, Im not usually a mean person at all but somehow Aquas agitate me they bring out the mean side in me Im constantly putting down the Aqua men I know. And that makes them even more drawn to me. Theres this one friend I have, a very nice Aqua guy but a bit lazy and flakey, and hes SOOOO thin because he wants to be a model. I am always putting him down, not making fun, but seriously putting him down because I tell him NOT to do something so articial and shallow when he has potential to do so much better, not to starve himself when he looks better with some meat on him, to concentrate on school etc. always making fun of his ambitions. Every time he wants to confide something or ask an opinion about something, he always comes to me first, its not that I am purposely mean to him, but I will not sugarcoat anything in fact I will tell the truth as cruelly as possible.

I wont go around being cruel for nothing but will say some cruel things when I feel angry with him or feel that he needs to hear them.

For some reason this makes him more attached to me and dependent. Ive noticed that in two other Aquas I know too, one at work and another being my cousin.

It really helps if they find you attractive, they will be able to overlook all your faults. I have seen that they are really drawn to Leo/Libra risings and Gemini and Cancer suns, maybe if you dress like one of them, or carry yourself like one of them, you will be able to hold his attention in a different way. There is definitely a line between friends and potential lovers in the Aqua boys mind, the girl who doesnt look good at first sight will never be the one,

posted March 30, 2005 10:13 AM              

Are his views on love the same? Does he view monogamy the same as you for example? If his views on love are yours, and you think he is only being agreeable than he's a friend.

Aquas will say anything to make you happy because they are sweet,

I know it's frustrating to get into an Aquas head because you want to explore him to explore your feeings and move on. But he knows that and will resist attempts to understand him. I think you have already explored your feelings, platonically, and that's good enough to know its not going to work. He feels bad about it, but you have hit a wall where now you have to see him for who he is, and decide if that's good for you or not.

posted March 30, 2005 12:43 PM              

I am surprised that a Pisces Moon/Venus in Aries is so cold to you, he could be committed elsewhere and doesn't want to say, or it could be a work related committment. You just don't know, but if he doesn't want to tell you, he won't, and chances are there is a good reason.

Good Luck with your next Venus in Aries!

posted March 30, 2005 03:39 PM            

Here I am, 3years later still trying to be a good friend when I just burn inside for him! It's hard, but hopefully you have some Capricorn self control. I suck when it comes to self control, or maybe its just like how my friend told me "unrequited love is a ***** "

I keep thinking, if he waasn't so sexy and nice I could move on, but then I think of his perfect body and his deep eyes, and all that...>>>>drives me nuts.

posted March 30, 2005 03:47 PM              

So what is it that attracts you? Is he purposely leading you on, physically? If so then it's his problem not yours, and you need to set him straight so he keeps to himself. It's clear he needs that if he has said he needs boundaries.

Venus in Aries ALWAYS is very sexy and has a lot of trouble with separating personal and work life, they like to keep romantic relationships on the back burner away from public life, and are you interested in a private romance, or a public one? If you two were in love and none of his friends or family knew about it, would you nag him to be more open? Do you talk to him as a friend about his past loves and yours? Why would he want that? To a Venus in Aries, there is love and there is friendship, they are not the same.

By being his friend you are not helping yourself, only by distancing yourself and dating others will you earn his respect.

I should know, I am as Venus in Aries as it gets, with Venus trine Mars, and Cancer Moon, I say the same thing, I need to date outside my community to have boundaries, otherwise I feel overwhelmed with duties and obligations towards my loved one, and that makes me feel unromantic, and then I can't be romantic, and then my loved one gets bored with me, and I have to leave my community. I wouldn't mess where I live, or eat, in other words.

Venus in Aries with a water moon has a lot of trouble being assertive if you are trying to be attractive, so stop doing that. Just be yourself, and turn on the heat for others, but not in front of him or he will feel hurt. In the end, Venus in Aries, likes someone who feels safe, so if you are busy elsewhere but open to being friends, he will feel safe, he will not make the first move, because he has probably done that before, and been rebuffed every so slightly..we are very sensitive to rejection, and so avoid it whenever possible.

There is nothing wrong with dating others, I don't see why you have to get involved physically or emotionally, and it will boost your self esteem.

Ulterior motives are the worst!

Natasha

posted March 30, 2005 06:52 PM              

I cant' stand it when my own love life turns into a soap opera, waiting...so I can imagine it sucks for you to go through this.

You deserve better, you deserve someone who wants the best,

posted March 30, 2005 07:16 PM              

1. Very difficult to fall IN love with someone,
2. Very easy to be infatuated with someone because of their appearance, after all appearance is the first impression! Never underestimate appearance with an air sign, also with a Venus in Aries, any astro book will tell u appearance is the first thing that will turn us on, it is not the thing that will be most important, but in the first meeting, YES YES YES, it will, it is not superficiality, but seeing if we can be attracted to someone at first will depend on appearance,
3. Once in love, very difficult to fall out of it,
4. Very loyal to the one I fall for,
5. Once I fall for him, I will find him attractive, regardless of how I felt about him at first!

So there is hope , if he doesnt find you attractive at first sight, because you have to get to his water moon there, and believe me water moons are good people to have around they are very caring,

Not to undermine or contradict your words of wisdom Natasha, but to simply add to them,

posted March 30, 2005 07:18 PM              

I think it's a good decision you've made to distance yourself from your aqua friend right now. I know how it can be too upsetting to keep up the "platonic buddy" vibe when inside your heart is wanting more. Sometimes it's just better to extricate yourself from that kind of situation, at least until you start feeling a little better about it. So hopefully some distance will help.

posted March 30, 2005 08:19 PM              

i was just replying to the original post, about aqua men's mentality in general, and what to expect of one. if one of the hotties this weekend happens to be an aqua, or has any similar placements, it would be good to keep in mind some of the stuff you learned from the previous aqua

live and love, loving keeps one young, at heart and at the surface,