Posts: 117
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Registered: Feb 2010

posted May 24, 2005 02:33 PM            

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I have a question, Do you guys feel that you should begin a new relationship w/someon even though you have really strong feelings for your ex. I mean it is over for you guys and it does not seem that you will be getting back together both of us have feelings for each other but I have let my be known in a sense and that he is still very special to me. He has not said that but I know I can tell bc I know men and I know him.

I have met someone else that I am inerested in nothing heavy we have just been chatting a lil and there is an attraction. I want to move on with the new guy I mean it is over with me and my ex. My girlfriend says DON'T go there yet. WAIT until all of your feelings for mr ex is gone. WHAT?????? That may be the next 6 mnths from now or later. I want to move on. Do you guys think that it is ok to start a new relationship even thogh you still have feelings for you ex but at this point does not seem we are going to get back together. I can't wait forever.

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posted May 24, 2005 02:40 PM              

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hey mama mia , i feel it happens with everyone , i have always maintianed there is nothing called true love ( thats my opinion, no offences to those who believe it is)
if the relation brakes in some nasty situation , than hatred and jealousy overshadow even the finer moments spent togetther but if it doesn't it sure will remind u of the goodness of that relation .
the way out i feel and u know is to get practical , nothing else.

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Posts: 117
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posted May 24, 2005 02:52 PM            

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I understand that,but I also understand what my girlfriend was saying. And it was simply do not bring another person into you all's stuff. He has no idea that you have feelings like that for mr ex. Work it out first,but it is hard for me to wait. Two days a week I see my ex and my heart cries for him he does not know the extent of it though. I see the new guy I met the same two days in the same place they are not friends or anything they just shoot ball togehter. My girlffriend says that if my ex finds out he will be hurt and not even think of getting back with me. (WHATEVER) although I was told that more then once. I do not want to hurt anyone I just want to be free and happy.

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posted May 24, 2005 03:18 PM              

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AWWWWWW Mama.............sending love to ya girl,
you will know if its too soon.dont be scared to love again but do allow time to heal /
that being said
you know when you love someone it doesnt die it doesnt go away sure it may evolve into something else but if you are true to yourself it wont disinegrate / but will enrich you and become a part of your growth
cause if you love even just a piece of a person its a piece of you and nothing/ no one can change that
be proud to still love him but dont let it stop you from loving others
its the boundries and our place in ones life that changes /always changes
but if we are healthy about it we should continue to cherish these things for the self knowledge it blesses us with.

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Posts: 117
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posted May 24, 2005 03:27 PM            

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Now see that is the Devilfish that I know and like always spreading words of wisdom.

My ex and I have broke up 4 mnths and my feelings have never died down at the least.
I am not sure that we will get back togehter I know that he still has feelings for me but he is to stubborn to even go there right now. (AQUA) I know that real feelings do not go away like fog on a misty morning. I guess it all boils down to me making a decision,stay in the unknown or move to where things are a lil clear...

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posted May 24, 2005 03:32 PM            

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Oh and Devilfish YOU know Im Pisces I can love over and over and over never scared to love again.... :-) You know bout that girl...

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posted May 24, 2005 03:58 PM              

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you & i both know it!
now if we could convience others, that'd be even better, lol.

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posted May 24, 2005 04:10 PM              

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Since you don't even know if the new guy will work out or not until you give him a chance, I would say go out and do traditional fun things with him. Evaluate him like any other boyfriend, really find out if you like him or not on his own terms, don't worry about dragging him into your stuff, everyone has baggage, it's not big deal.

I still have very strong feelings for my ex, but I have to go out sometime, have dinner, go to shows, who will take me if I wait? He's certainly not waiting for me. Men do not wait, they may go back, but not for a very long time.

Have fun, who knows what changes this man might bring into your life?

Natasha
Taurus

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Posts: 117
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posted May 24, 2005 04:26 PM            

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Sthenri: That makes sense to me and that makes me smile, more then anything I am curious about this guy and his way of being. We will have fun together is the attraction really there, whats he like outside of this gym. I am going for it and oh well to who does not uinderstand. I can't put my life on hold any longer for something that may not even happen. Plus this guy is FINE and I am excited have not been this excited in a while...I have not asked his b-day do not know if I will for right now just do not want to form an opinion right away.

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posted May 24, 2005 05:51 PM              

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Sometimes it's good to have a break in between. I think you should maybe spend some time alone and have a relationship with yourself for a bit.

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posted May 24, 2005 05:56 PM            

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Have been doing that and I am ready to have some fun with a companion. I have taken sometime for myself and I am not waitng on any one anymore. I firmly believe that after a brak up you should be alone and mostly I have to cause I only have feelings for that one person,but soon as I start to feel for another guy I know that I can be ready...

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posted May 25, 2005 11:37 AM              

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mama, u broke with ur ex but are still friends - thats the situation, is it .
o , well i was thinking u were a libra , do u have heavy libra influence in ur chart?
i have a pisces female friend in almost ur situation but the man here is adear friend of mine tooo , i am in between (LOL)
i dont think suggestion are what u need now , u just need to know ur own gut feeling?
best of luck!

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posted May 25, 2005 11:44 AM            

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Nope I am Pisces with Heavy Aqua influence.
Moon Merc Venus and Asc in Aqua. We are not real good friends like b4 but I know that he still has feelings for me,he may or may not ever tell me that but I know, I am a Pisces we tend to know alot. Im tired now and ready for some fun and I am not going to wait any longer going with that decision. We Pisces tend to be indecisive but when we do decide that is it...

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posted May 25, 2005 11:52 AM              

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Yes, I can never get over my ex until I find a new companion to have fun with, you can only spend so much time in solitary if you miss having someone, you want a new someone! It's not like you aren't drained. As for having a relationship with yourself, it's also nice to have someone pay attention to you for a change, take you out, treat you as a decent human being especially if the ex ended it badly.

They always say, I'm sorry it ended this way but they don't help you pick up the pieces or care.

So have fun,

Natasha

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posted May 25, 2005 12:07 PM            

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Ohhh you are so right Sthenri I am so gone..
I crave fun now and I want to be in the company of a man or men if it gets to that.
I have met someone that I am interested in which is hard for me (that is me being interested) it is hard for me I am extremely picky I guess. I am not going to let this pass me by for something that may never be something again. It did end badly as far as I am concerned but I am over that over it all I am just ready to jump back in the game the ball is definetly in my court and I will be playing to win if you get me.. Thanks again for you encouraging words they always help.... ;-)

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Posts: 1120
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 25, 2005 04:56 PM            

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Mama Mia,

I do so relate to your post, I went through something very similar.

I was already a mature woman the one and only time I fell in love. I comitted completely (partially because he was sick)
The relationship ended after 3 years and when it did I was hurt and depressed. I kind of did the hermit thing just completely withdrew. The last thing I wanted was to get involved again (rebound)

But as any woman knows there is always someone on the sidelines hoping to get lucky (even if it just mini me). Don't sell yourself short, if it isn't right (and you will know) just wait. You never know if maybe in the future there will be a reconciliation, and you would hate to hurt him especially with someone who in the end really didn't't matter.

I had one old friend who literally showed up everywhere I was and kept asking and asking me out even though I made it clear I wasn't ready to jump into anything, but finally I relented and agreed but only as friends. Well this person wanted more and I just couldn't recipricate his feelings even though I was cool with my breakup I still loved my ex very much.

What ended up happening was a perfectly good friendship just went down the toilet. He was hurt and became very bitter.

My advise to you is if your not ready don't push yourself, give yourself time to heal.

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posted May 26, 2005 09:40 AM              

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We Pisces tend to be indecisive but when we do decide that is it...

just see if the time has come to take the ultimate decision .
ah , well i wanted to ask this - did our suggestins in any way have pushed u take the decision ?

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posted May 26, 2005 11:17 AM            

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To answer your ? Cancerrg yes it did. There was a 50-50 thing going on but I made the ultimate decision. I am not waiting on anyone anymore life is to short. Once we make a decision that is it...

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posted May 26, 2005 11:21 AM              

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Then you know what, baby?
Go ahead and be with this new guy, sometimes it takes a while to get over someone, especially when you feel like it's unfinished

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Posts: 207
From: Portland, OR, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 26, 2005 10:44 PM            

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Mama, what sign is he?

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posted May 27, 2005 06:22 AM              

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We Pisces tend to be indecisive but when we do decide that is it...

mama : we cancers take decisions this way too , i wonder what other signs do it this . do the scorps act this way tooo?
ny idea?

ah , u know why i did ask u whether the suggestion pushed u in taking the decison because everrytime i advice someone ( sometimes i am too blunt) i always have this feeling what if the decision goes wrong ? its quite detrimental at times.

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posted May 27, 2005 09:47 AM            

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Blue which he? Well I already mention the Aqua and well he is all that I have been talking about since joining this forum. So I guess you me the new guy. I have not asked that or his b-day just trying to stay neutral a lil and not form an opinion yet. I kind of get a feeling that he is one of the three either a Cap, Cancer, hate to say it Aqua...Just basing that on some of observation that I have made. I am going to find out bc the suspense is killing me I will let you guys know though.

Cancerrg I think water signs have a problem with this too. Pisces are notorious for being indecisive. I am trying to get better with it. I am really only this way when it comes to affairs of the heart LOVE if you will....

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Posts: 77
From: Virginia
Registered: May 2009

posted May 28, 2005 02:50 AM            

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aww...I don't know what to tell you, but I can at least send you a cyber hug...

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posted June 03, 2005 03:04 PM              

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If you can keep from bringing up the ex, or moping in front of the "new" date, then go ahead. But if you find yourself doing that on the first date, either have a quicky to help move you along, or work on getting your wits about you.

I for one have always tried to be responsible with other's feelings when it comes to ex's. If I don't feel like the new person will take me to that next level, I stick to myself for a while longer, then try again. When it comes to dating others who are getting over someone, or someone who has been divorced for less than a year, I definately stay away no matter my feelings for them.

------------------
... it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness

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posted June 03, 2005 04:36 PM            

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AJ I am so ready that I could not mention him at all(da ex) I am ready to have some fun, even though I still have feelings for him if I feel for another guy then I am ok when I cannot that is when I still need to chill.. Thanks!!!

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