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Author Topic:   Break ups
lioneye68
unregistered
posted September 12, 2005 09:03 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You know - some signs seem to handle break ups better than others. I personally take a long time to let go of a person emotionally, but I have a very fixed chart.

Virgos - do you ever consider reconsiliation, or do you just consider what's done is done and never look back? I'm asking because I can't get a read on my Virgo ex. He seems so cold, but I can't grasp that someone can go from loving somebody with all their heart, to feeling nothing at all. Especially with venus/mars in Cancer. Aren't they suppose be the type who has a hard time letting go? I wish I knew what he was thinking. I don't necessarily want to be back together, but I need to know that he at least values what we had. He says such mean things to me sometimes. I can't grasp that. I don't get it.

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Isolaede
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Posts: 15
From: Sunny CA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 12, 2005 09:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isolaede     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've definitely noticed that some signs have an easier time moving on than others. I’ve had several Libra friends that could shrug off heartbreak with a level of casualness I found appalling. As a cancer with a Taurus moon and Mars, I'm hopeless when it comes to break ups. My loyalty quotient is just too high, and it leads m e to stalwartly hold onto Titanic relationships as they sink beneath the waves. I don’t look at this as a character flaw, as loyalty is an admirable trait, but I’ve had to learn to be very particular in choosing partners, because break ups are devastating to me.

As for Virgos, as a veteran of a seven year relationship with one, I can tell you they don’t let go easily, but they are very capable of doing what they think is right no matter what the consequences. My virgo ex still loves me dearly and I know now he’d step back into a relationship with me if the opportunity presented itself. However, it took me three years to realize that. If you’d have asked me if he’d ever come back when he walked out the door I would have said no way. Once he’d made his decision to leave, it seemed nothing under heaven or hell could have swayed him. He was ice cold. I think he assumed that mindset in order to give him the strength he needed to do what he saw as right at the time. Your ex would have even more of a tendency to turn cold because of his cancer influences. Cancers can pull back into their shells so deeply that they seem to forget how to feel. Your ex being cold and saying mean things is probably his defensive mechanism - a shell of ice he needs right now so he can do what he feels is right. So he doesn't die to much inside.

If you and your Virgo burned each other badly he will probably keep his distance for a while, but from my experiences with Virgo’s no matter how hurt they are they always care for and worry about the people they allow into their lives. Sooner or later he’ll start worrying about you and contact you again. He may not ever engage in a relationship with you depending on how hurt he was, but he’ll probably always care for your health and well being.

My Virgo ex is my single best friend in this world. I wish you the same blessing with your ex.

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lioneye68
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posted September 12, 2005 10:08 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for that, Isolaede

I wish that too. I'm just really sorry that things didn't turn out the way that both of us were SURE they would.
And it was my fault.

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AcousticGod
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Posts: 4416
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 12, 2005 10:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My experience with Cancers says that they will absolutely put on a tough face no matter what's stewing underneath, so I don't think it's odd for someone with Cancer placements to fake that they don't care. Just know that it is false, and they really do.

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alanabelle86
Knowflake

Posts: 40
From: Somewhere over the rainbow
Registered: May 2009

posted September 12, 2005 10:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alanabelle86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
with me, the feelings take a lil while to get rid of but usually when i break up with someone , its final. it may take a good month or so but not much longer than that. i keep my *feelings* busy by finding another love interest... i consider it *reinforcements*


moon in leo/10th.
venus retrograde in scorpio/1st
venus conj pluto
mars opp moon in the 4th


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Pop Producer
unregistered
posted September 12, 2005 10:21 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As far as I know Virgos can disconnect themselves from their emotions... This has a deep meaning, because they are born to get a job done not matter why. But they can be very cold when they want to.

Cancers just pretend. A breakup is a nightmare for a Cancer.

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Jazzebel
unregistered
posted September 12, 2005 10:50 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hey Lioneye,
I am a Virgo/ Gemini Moon and just like the person before me mentioned- I completely disconnect from my feelings after a break up. I do not miss anyone after we parted ways. I don`t even remember them, emotionaly. This may sounds harsh but we Virgos are notoriously mental. I also hardly explain why I wanted a break up, just shut up and stay cold and unaccesible, I am usualy that way when I was deeply hurt by the partner for one reason or another. If the reason for the break up was me, then I`d be very conscious and very compasionate and will talk and try to explain and will want to remain friends, will call regulary and make sure they are okay.
I`ve heard lots of people saying - "he/she just broke up coldly with me and I have no idea why", usualy the reference was made for anotehr Virgo. I am always surprised to find out their partners were Virgos.
Long story short - coming from a real Virgo, if a Virgo detaches themselves and shows coldness - their pride was deeply hurt, irreparably. They will never tell you why and when. Virgos are very insecure deep inside. They also hold grudges more and for longer then anyone else I know. I hope I am wrong in your case and he will contact you again. I dont know what sign is his Moon, but look to the Moon- natal(why does he react that way) and progressed (why it happens now) when things like breaks-up are concerned.

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lioneye68
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posted September 12, 2005 10:57 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
that actually sounds like him, Jazz. He has a Libra moon. Sag rising. (same as me)He seems to almost delight in saying the LAST thing I want to hear. He's having a power trip I think. But I know he's hurting too. I know he loved (loves?) me. He's just really really disappointed, and it may be unfixable. But, I love him still, whether we're together or not. I think he should appreciate that.

When is he going to stop being mad at me?

maybe never?

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Jazzebel
unregistered
posted September 12, 2005 11:07 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well, if his Moon is in Libra, then Transiting Saturn in Cancer (before entering Leo) was hovering over his natal Moon -women and emotions. That made him reconsider what is right and wrong in his relationships with women. That made him also insecure emotionaly and isolated. ASC in Saggitarius? Dont you guys have/have had TR Pluto on your Rising, that serves for a pretty life-altering kind of feeling

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lioneye68
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posted September 12, 2005 11:11 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting that you should mention Saturn. When we broke up, at that end of June 2005, his Venus had Saturn sitting right on top of it. Then, it moved on to Leo and sat on my Mars in early Leo. It's opposing my moon right now. Coincidence? I doubt it.

As for Pluto, well, it's in late Sag. now, and him and I have very early degrees of Sag rising. But, t-pluto is exactly square my natal Pluto, in late Virgo. Is that why he had to break my heart? Pluto?

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Jazzebel
unregistered
posted September 12, 2005 11:14 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I didn`t see your last questions - "when will he stop being mad at me".
And being the good girl that I am - I`ll tell you our Vurgoan secret.
When we are cold - our pride has been hurt, all right. Then we shut up, and we can stay silent and bitter FOREVER, i mean - it may prolonge for decades. Unless.... the person who brought us to that misery excuse themselves, and excuse themselves and tell us how much sorry and miserable they feel for making us feel that way, and they should sound peretty convincing and honest on top of it. I am telling you, if you dont fire back at him and drop your pride, telling him honestly how you feel, I am sure your bitter sweet Virgo will forgive you and try to be friends again (except if you cheated or betrayed him, that will never be forgiven). I hope that helps, I am wishing you well, Lioneye

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lioneye68
unregistered
posted September 13, 2005 12:08 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you, Jazz (and I think I read once thatyou lived in New Orleans - if so, please know that my prayers are coming your way, and that I feel a huge loss as well, having experienced Mardi Gras in 2002 - and having family in Baton Rouge)

So anybody have tips about getting over a broken heart?

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shop22much
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Posts: 0
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Registered: Dec 2010

posted September 13, 2005 12:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for shop22much     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am a virgo myself, and i can tell you from my experiences if someone breaks any kind of trust or hurts me, i do not easily forgive, and even when i forgive i make sure the person means it, and will drag it out for awhile and test them out to see if they truly FEEL/MEAN it.... I might talk to them again, try to stay friends(very important to me), but I will never see them in the same light again.....

it takes a lot to sway me away from the one I love, I can forgive many things but hurting me in a huge way or constantly, will end up just making me feel like....whats the point of this?
keywords: i will stay friends with the person.
break the trust= will take ages to repair....maybe even never
break my heart=always remember, but hide it under a cool facade...and just move on..
I guess people think virgos are cold, but truly we're not..I feel too much and maybe thats why I come off cold, I try to hide these emotions, because they scare me at times, I FEEL a lot.... virgos are controlfreaks i think, so maybe thats why we like to control our emotions..control how we look, we like to leave with our dignity intact....

even if i decide to fix the situation, there are some situations I know not worth preserving....for those few people i let fade out of my life for good.....***usually***didnt impact my life that much for me to really care...
any other questions, let me know, and i hope this helped...just woke up from a nap and my thoughts are a little scattered...lol

how to heal and deal with a broke heart:going out, go shopping, go to the movies, revel in the company of good friends, travel, if youre in school, devote all your attention on that...make jewerly, make something, something with a lot of detail, write a book, write poetry, sing, dance.....

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 13, 2005 01:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh Lioneye... is this the Virgo you moved in with?

Mr Taurus also has Venus in Cancer (mars in Pisces) and Saturn conjuncting his Venus. He is in the middle of a soul awakening.. childhood trauma coming back to haunt him (which explains so much of his behaviour). He has a Virgo moon as well....

Saturn in Leo isn't going to be much better for him and has proved to already start bringing out the harsh lessons for him. Add to that T-pluto kicking his moon / mars in the arse... well, it has been tense (which is why we are going our separate ways).

I am so sorry things didn't work out for you. I think of you often....

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pixelpixie
Newflake

Posts: 8
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 13, 2005 01:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My take on Virgo Suns and emotions.. at least the men.. they keep it inside.
Of course he feels.
He just doesn't want to dwell on it.
If pressed, he might admit it, but I doubt it.

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MoonDuchess88
unregistered
posted September 13, 2005 05:46 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, Virgo Suns do know how to put on a good face during times like these. Im remember when my virgo mother left my cancer father when I was nine. She never showed any type of emotion. She probably did have feelings but didn't show them. Maybe because she saw that the breakup was inevitable. But cancers are good pretenders too. My father never showed emotion either, instead he would try to reason and rationalize with her to stay(ok, I sooo think he's a libra rising ). And then there's me a cancer w/ a virgo moon...hehe Yeah I'm a pretty good actress too. I only break down in private.

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Pop Producer
unregistered
posted September 13, 2005 12:01 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As I said somewhere else, this also has to be with Virgo's sense of perfection. Being hurt by someone is a sign that the world is not perfect so they don't know how to handle those things... Maybe is better just to lock everything and keep functioning as if nothing had happened...

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 13, 2005 12:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Pop.. I think that is too general of a statement. I was involved / married to a Virgo for over 6 years. He is still a dear friend to me and I love him with all my heart. Yes, he did keep things in, but if you try to open the door to communication, they will come around.

He was very demonstrative in his emotions )telling me how he felt) he just had a hard time facing his own internal issues - which is where I Do believe you have a point about perfection. It isn't so much that they get down because the world is not perfect... it is that THEY realize THEY are not perfect.

The take the relationships failure to heart, feeling as though they caused it when in actuality it takes two to break things up (well..not in all cases).

My ex also has his Venus and Mars in Leo- along with several other fire planets. I have a Virgo rising conjuncting my Pluto in the first house- which does give me a few Virgo traits.

Overall, I find that MEN in general keep things in (as do many fire sign women) they can show their anger / displeasure / happiness... but being vulnerable / fragile is hard.

I have also noticed this with men with strong Virgo moons (my ex-Taurus is one of them) He is having a hell of a time with the fact that his emotions have come to the surface. He is not used to feeling vulnerable.

Lioneye... please do write back. I am sorry for your hurt.

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Mama Mia
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Posts: 117
From:
Registered: Feb 2010

posted September 13, 2005 01:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Lioneye: Lets see I have a hard time with break ups, it takes me a long time to let it go especailly if you really meant something to me..It is a process that is how I like to see it..

From my experience when someone acts as though your ex has been acting he is still harboring feelings and do not know how to deal with them or do not want to be vulnerable towards them..He wants to think that the decision or the break up is for his own good and he made a good decision and he may just be dying inside.

My lil one's dad is a Virgo with Gem moon and he would keep things in so bad that he would get these sis in his eye and parts of his body I always knew when he ws really stressed out. when we would split up always his fault he would get like your ex is. And yes it has been like 1 1/2 since we have really split and he stills tells me he F
****D up. We are still friends and will always be.. So give it sometime...


I also think that bc you are not forsure why he is feeling and acting the way he is thats what has you so confused. It is a kind of closure type thing that you need. I went through that too..I know closure is coming then you will be able to move on..

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firelights
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posted September 13, 2005 01:26 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
im libra with pisces moon
once i know i dont want a relationship i can let go of it like this
and get on with life
all it takes is a day
but my pisces moon never forgets..

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Mama Mia
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From:
Registered: Feb 2010

posted September 13, 2005 01:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmmmmmm I heard that Libra/Pisces guys walk away from relationship like nothing..That is scary seeing that I am kind of into a Libra/Pisces guy right now..

Sorry I do not know if you are male or female... But that is what I heard..


My Pisces sun would be hurt but My Aqua moon would make me press on...

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noreenz
unregistered
posted September 13, 2005 02:24 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lioneye (hug) I'm so sorry for your hurt. If you captured this Virgos heart....he ain't gonna get over you soon...we don't give ourselves that freely and when we do it takes a lot to get rid of us, ask any of my old boyfriends.lol I say, give him some time, a couple weeks or so....let him think you are moving forward....(it'll kill him, lol) don't get sappy on him, let him see strength....when he thinks you don't need him is when his eyes will look your way again.......remember, us Virgos are all about needing to be needed, heaven forbid someone we truly love doesn't need us anymore. Good luck to you sweetie! Noreen

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1scorp
unregistered
posted September 13, 2005 03:15 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ms. Lioneye

I'm not sure on the how or whys of your Virgo... but I think you're lovely

Tips? Plenty of exercise... plenty of outdoors... hmmmm... go to a new place with a different crowd/vibe than you're use to.

Just take a break for yourself ... where you think about no one but yourself and your well being.

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lioneye68
unregistered
posted September 16, 2005 03:50 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks everyone. This thread makes me feel better, all your well wishes and advise. I appreciate it.

It's been about 2 months now, and we haven't talked for about a month. I emailed him on the 7th to wish him a happy birthday, and let him know that he was on my mind, hope all is well, bla bla - he didn't reply. Then I forwarded an email to him that my sister in Baton Rouge had sent out, telling him that I was forwarding it to him "in case" he was wondering how they were doing down there. He didnt reply to that either. Of course, neithor email really called for or needed a reply. I didn't ask him any questions, or ask him for a response. So, I wasn't really expecting a reply. But a "thank you" would have been polite, I would think.

I'm starting to see a pattern, though. When we do communicate, I intiate it, and it's usually text messaging or email. He'll be freindly enough, until the point where I start trying to make arrangements to come get the rest of my things. Then, the conversation just drops off on his end.

I would think he would be more than happy for me to come retrieve the rest of my things.

I wish I could give all the details, but it was a long, complicated scenario that led to the breakup, and it was originally on the premise of being temporary, while we (or rather *I*) got some things straitened out. Then, I dunno what happened. I kept pushing at him, and trying to get some reassurance that he was sure he still wanted us to work it out and be together, and I guess I made him angry. And, since he's got that anger control problem, he said very nasty things to me. Even threatened to press charges against me if I ever called him again. Well, I did call him again, a few times since then, but it's all been mainly to make arrangements and coordinate times, for me to move my stuff out, and now, come pick up the last remaining things.

I just don't even know how I feel. I feel hurt, because he doesn't ever attempt to contact me. But, I feel free. But, I miss him terribly. But I wasn't entirely happy when I was living with him either. But it sure had it's moments. And he sure has some fine qualities. We were both just so greatful to have found each other, and so sure that we were meant to grow old together. The realization that it may have all just been wishful thinking, well it's just heartbreaking.

If it's heartbreaking for him too, and I have to believe it is, then what do we do about that? I feel like I know when he's thinking about me. I suddenly feel so sad, seemingly out of the blue, and I picture him just sitting there with a sad face, looking down at his hands like he does.

I just don't know what to do. Maybe he's expecting me to fix things - initiate contact, open up a discussion about it. Maybe he wants ME to come to HIM. He does have a Libra moon, and Venus & Mars in Cancer. Libra prefers to be pursued, and Cancer is just too guarded emotionally to expose theirselves.

Or, maybe I should do nothing and wait and see. Or, just do nothing, not wait for anything - move on. I can do that. I'll just have to move on with this big gaping hole in my heart, that's all.

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Mama Mia
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From:
Registered: Feb 2010

posted September 16, 2005 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lioneye8: I know how you feel babe went through the same thing recently, it gets better as time goes on, I know that you are hurting. Believe me he is hurting too. And he is not dealing with it real well and doesn't know how that is why he act the way he is acting..Hugs to you sit back and chill for a minute what is meant for you can't won't get away from you...

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