posted November 16, 2005 09:38 PM              

He has disrespected me (out of nowhere, he boldly slapped my butt on 2 different occasions when I was walking in front of him), asked for a kiss several times after date #2 (he won't listen to me when I tell him he's nothing more than a platonic friend), he made several chauvinistic remarks about woman being inferior to men (the worst one was how he's happy that in his new religion of Islam the word “Allah” has no feminine form to it), he's like a chameleon (I notice he takes on the outer personality of the people he’s interacting with), and he's indecisive (wants to take the lead but cannot decide on a place to go). Plus his morals clash with mine and I know he lied to me twice.

Please take a look at his chart and tell me what you can about this guy. Do you see any violent or psycho aspects in his chart? His birth date is 2/24/77, birth time around 5 am,Capricorn ascendant, moon in Taurus, Venus in Aries (opposes Pluto), Mercury and Mars in Aqua. I have read about Mars in Aqua, but I still don't understand how it plays out in real life.

His chart link

*EDITED: He no longer works with me. He found another job because they were very close to firing him for not following instructions despite many warnings! He barely made 3 months*

posted November 16, 2005 11:45 PM              

Ignore anything else and he will get the hint.

I would usually say otherwise but i have a very similar Cancer friend and he annoyed me to no end. Then one day I told him off and said in no way did I want to have sex or date him until a man made me feel secure and the only way that would happen is if he spent a lto of time with me and trusted and liked me. I said if you don't like what I do for you then you really don't like me. Be honest. Each time he got hyper and sexy, I would ask him if he really cared about me or not because he wasn't being trustworthy.

I kept preaching that without getting angry, and still kept being his friend as long as it didn't interfere in anything.

A month or two later he did a 180 degree turn and told me what a Lady I was and how he respected that. I got tons of compliments but I stayed the same and then he became brotherly and sweet.

So far I like him this way and he finally let down his macho shell and showed me how he works night and day to support his son, and is super responsible and well liked by all his friends. He dropped the crudeness, and I met friends of his who said he was the greatest guy, he only acted like that with me.

So sweetcappie, men's brains turn to pudding around us earth women.

It's normal. better to be paid attention to by someone who is gaga over you than someone who has lukewarm attention because the passion fades. Eventually you end up with a brotherly like affection and you he may make you feel proud or happy someday if you are really under his skin.

Now the Cancer friend of mine is under my skin a bit and I worry about him and his family, his work ethic and morals are very high unlike what I first thought, so I will never stop caring about him. Strangely it takes months for me to have real physical interest in anyone, because I do not trust my first instincts anymore.

Being so nice as a Taurus I tend to discount anyone who is crude or who has bad manners, but many times my instincts are not really active and I am going along for the ride.

Maybe there is something really interesting to you about your Pisces when you listen to him talk about his life? He's your puppy but he maybe hiding some part of his life he doesn't like so he loses himself in women. What if he is a piano player in secret? You never know with water sign men, they are full of surpises and generally have much talent.

This Cancer of mine has without knowing it, taught me so much regarding my career.

posted November 17, 2005 09:24 AM              

If he is idealistic he will eventually be your friend but be less, less pushy, just let you know he's around to talk.

And always in every friendship there is one who is a little more pushy than the other, it's never equal.

But in my Cancers case once I put my foot down very firmly-his attention dropped off and he now only talks about work/family.

I said, if he really wanted to be my friend he would RESPECT my wishes and trust me to make the right decision regarding my body and our friendship.

That's pushy, but you have to push back, as he is taking it for granted that he knows what's best for the future friendship. Being a woman you know what he wants and don't let him delude himself. Don't encourage him to find someone else where as that can be cruel, but let him know he can't delude himself into thinking that the spark exists. Then tell him to stay friendly, because most men would get mean.

posted November 17, 2005 01:41 PM              

Natasha-
I contacted him and followed your advice. I think he understands. He told me he was shocked that I took his ass-slap as disrespect (I wonder how its possible for him to not find that disrespectful!).

His responses today were: 'Cool, I understand what your say but I guess I don't want to be always in the friend list. I would be lying if I told you I have no sexual desires but that's not my goal. I trying to be in your heart not your pants. Feel me. I respect you and will not let the desire of grabbing your ass take over me."

I read somewhere about the Venus-Pluto opposition and how they get hard-to-control sexual impulses--I guess that's a perfect example of that!

posted November 17, 2005 02:59 PM              

Sweetcappie, I have to say I admire your honesty, for laying out the rules on how stuff works best for you. There were times when i was dating that it seemed like all i wanted from certain women, was just a simple honest answer to something. Most of the time they kept feeding me b/s just to try to let me down easy or something. But the problem with that was Instead of being able to talk platonically, I gained a lot of Disrepect for them. Only because they couldn't or wouldn't be forward with me. I just wouldn't try to hint anything, just make sure its straight forward to the point, if he doesn't like it, he'll get over it. From the sound of it it seems like you'd be that way anyway, but if he's all that worried about getting hurt, then he wouldn't open himself up to much, I.e. to show you that he is Chevanistic. Most guys I know including myself when we express our feelings all the time we tend to be phased by less stuff.

posted November 17, 2005 08:51 PM              

Slapping u on the butt?!?!?! Uhhh... yeah.. how classy....

posted November 17, 2005 09:15 PM              

Pans = Happy to hear your male perspective. I have noticed in my past that if I"m dating a guy that wasn't clear about his intentions or lied (typically saying they want to get serious when they really just want a fling), that it would hurt or anger me. I figure things are so much smoother when both parties are honest.

posted November 17, 2005 10:08 PM              

It's easy to forget people romanticize things once in a while and fall in love with someone if they think that person has qualities they don't have. How many times have I romanticized someone in the office when I thought that man had something special??

Men act that way because they think women like it, they don't know any better so I don't get mad anymore. Still it's like any attitude it has to be confronted.

Worse still is the kind of man who is predatory, perfect to the letter, opens doors, offers to walk me home, carries packages for me, and then bluntly demands a romantic relationship behind closed doors-or else he will take off.

That is even more common and much worse because the rejection is not taken well and the sting is remembered-the revenge is not pretty.

Getting drunk and calling in the night is not psycho, just horny!

Earth women are naturally honest-it's our best quality.

The Cancer I know told me he dislikes my confrontational ways and it could even be seen as abusive if it meant I was not loving, but I know I am loving so I don't need to reassure him of that. It's my way and I give love when I feel I am doing the right thing. He may not take me out to dinner but he was honest with me and will be my friend who will call me when he wants to hang out. Obviously I can't take advantage of his friendship for dinner and such, and I wasn't planning to.

I respect him though for making it clear, as I am sure women do take advantage of men by leading him on, although I am not one of those women.

In my view relationships with water men are very subjective and the ending is up to the earth woman, she has control as long as she addreses the emotions. It's very hard to do that, but if respect is maintained the friendship can be rewarding.

Honestly in the end even Pisces men have rewarded me with so much in the way of education, confidence and emotional support in times of trouble that I am more forgiving of their defensive ways. The way a man shows he is a real man is how much he can be depended on, and water men are pretty cool compared to some others.

Then again I have to work with many different people-and I have more trouble working with Aries, Leo, and Aquarius men.

posted November 18, 2005 01:12 AM              

btw i find it disgusting that he took the Allah word like that. the entity Allah has no gender and the Quran CLEARLY says so, it only uses He because it is a common assumption in every culture to use male pronouns (He who laughs last laughs best etc.), and also because in arabic , verbs conjugated for howwa (male pronoun) are smaller and easier to use over a long period of time. anyhow he sounds like a chauvinistic pig. i would not bother myself over him. he needs a good logical telling off. if u confront a deluded pisces with pure cut and dry logic they will freak out and sometimes reality can be too much for them. however, it will definitely have an affect.

posted November 18, 2005 10:14 AM              

SecretGarden , I like your name, reminds me of a great book I read. I agree with you about how he really misinterpreted the word Allah. His chauvinistic words sparked a big debate between us and his male cousin (who defended us women). It was interesting to see him bring his guard down. He said Allah or GOD could never be a woman because woman are too emotional to rule the world or be president. Well me and his cousin gave good arguements and I think he understood that us woman are more powerful than he thinks.

posted November 18, 2005 12:00 PM              

Watcha wanna know ? I'll be glad to oblige.