posted November 17, 2005 05:47 PM              

Case in point: I have an old room mate whom I was very close too, but who has moved over east for a while to study. When she left I said that I would help her out with money if she got into trouble. sure enough she needed some when she got over there but then it became an allmost two weekly affair of asking me for dollars. I didn't even notice it, untill another close freind pointed out that possibly, just possibly, I was being taken advantage of. Then the penny dropped..... 0_o

I have recently been saying no to her asking's, and I tell you as a Pisces it has been one of the hardest things. I have so much trouble saying no....

Its really been getting me down. Much to the dismay of my stronger friends, there is still some part of me that thinks maybe she really does need it....

posted November 18, 2005 12:14 PM              

Hi,

1 - learn to be assertive

2 - realise that Pisces likes the feeling of giving so we get a payoff ourselves, then playing the unknowing victim is even more of a buzz subconsciously

3 - know that most people find it easy somehow to take from a Pisces, the guilt isn't there for them and they are quite shocked sometimes or in denial when they realise they have indeed taken advantage of you

4 - some people are just a waste of oxygen and food

Don't compromise who you are just because someone is blind enough to confuse your strength with what they percieve to be your weakness.

Natasha

You sound like a nice person. Take your son swimming at a beach if you have one. And watch the change. Natural water cleans us in more ways than just the physical. As does the beauty in nature as well.

posted November 18, 2005 12:40 PM              

I agree with most of the wonderful posts here, and I want to add that I had similar problems like yours: being taken advantage of because of "natural sweetness, generosity, niceness, whatever you want to call it". But you know what, life will keep throwing the same lesson in our face until we learn the lesson, and I used to think why is there a pattern, but it is MY problem, not theirs, I allowed it, because I didn't learn the lesson, because some people are just like that (not bad by nature, but we feed their greedy side with our misplaced generosity). Mis-placed generosity and kindness are equally bad as lack of them altogether. When you realize they are doing just that, taking advantage of you, you will stop feeding their bad side, and they will stop draining you, until the lesson is learned, life will throw these people/patterns in your face, and you are starting to question it, which is a good thing!

They will not be hurt by our saying NO, in fact, they are expecting it most of the time, our delay is only prolonging their draining.

I don't mean to sound harsh or portray your friend negatively, on the contrary, I just feel your problem because I know how it feels when you feel being taken advantage of like that.

posted November 18, 2005 04:43 PM              

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Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

posted November 19, 2005 01:53 AM              

In high school, one of my "best" friends..She called herself that, needed money every single day, for food and drinks at the school cafeteria..and whenever we went out..I payed for movies and lunches and dinners for her.. I thought she was genuinely in a very bad financial situation.

Then I went to her house, which was like a castle and found out she had plenty of money to spare..So next time she asked me for money to buy food, I asked her why she doesn't bring a sandwich or something to school..if she really doesn't have the money..so her answer was that she's "embarrassed" ..why would someone be embarrassed to bring a sandwich to school..everyone did lol

Also, when I didn't actually have money..she basically begged me to ask other ppl for money FOR her because she was too "embarrassed" to ask anyone else and otherwise she'd "starve”… which I also did a couple of times before I realised how much of a scab she was.

posted November 19, 2005 10:33 AM            

quote:

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aww Quark I know how you feel. Pisces Merc here. This has happened with a couple of people, giving money, never getting it bk..finding out they didn't actually need the money and were just taking advantage.

In high school, one of my "best" friends..She called herself that, needed money every single day, for food and drinks at the school cafeteria..and whenever we went out..I payed for movies and lunches and dinners for her.. I thought she was genuinely in a very bad financial situation.

Then I went to her house, which was like a castle and found out she had plenty of money to spare..So next time she asked me for money to buy food, I asked her why she doesn't bring a sandwich or something to school..if she really doesn't have the money..so her answer was that she's "embarrassed" ..why would someone be embarrassed to bring a sandwich to school..everyone did lol

Also, when I didn't actually have money..she basically begged me to ask other ppl for money FOR her because she was too "embarrassed" to ask anyone else and otherwise she'd "starve”… which I also did a couple of times before I realised how much of a scab she was.

But it was a good lesson for me..because I also tend to over help a lot..and it’s made me realise that you should only do *so* much for someone.. because there comes a point when they should be accountable for their own lives. It’s still hard for me to say “no” though..very hard

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posted November 20, 2005 05:13 AM              

Are all Pisceans going through same phase ƒº Only thing is I don¡¦t even have to decide whether to give or not (leave saying No to them), as they are in need. Yesterday only one of my friends requested for monetary help and today my relative also needs some money. Anyways I am surely going to help them out. I know the reasons why it is required.

Well very true, we can¡¦t easily say the big NO word. However I treat it many times as a gift. And if I know the reasons I surely oblige and help them out.

Don¡¦t worry, if you know the reasons and her intentions are right, you could help her out (of course not at your own cost that you need to borrow it from someone else).

posted November 20, 2005 07:02 AM              

hahahahaa, roflmao, from one Pisces to another Water.... u rock!

posted November 20, 2005 08:14 AM              

im a piscean and i can understand how you feel..

All i can say is that by experience ive realised that some people do not deserve help that we give them and since they know our weak points they make us feel horribly guilty for not helping..

however if your friend really does need help and she is not using you then naturally you should provide it..

im in high school now and when i had joined this school a couple of years back EVERYONE used me..

this girl in my class (shes a piscean too..god knows how..) she sat next to me.. We used to have prep sessions in which we were supposed to do our homework.. she used to tell me to do one subject of hers and in turn "promised" to do one subject of mine..however when i was half way through her work i realised that she was going on with her own work while mine lay forgotten!!!

i swore to myself to never help her but everytime she asked me to do her work for her i would refuse at first but then feel so terribly guilty that id end up in the same situation again

But ofcourse now ive learned how to say the word NO and i dont help people until they need it really bad..

posted November 20, 2005 06:54 PM              

Right now, I get taken advantage of a lot by a woman at work. She uses the fact that we're "friends" to take advantage of me in lots of little ways. Like she constantly borrows money from me, for little things, e.g. chocolates, and then never pays me back, knowing that I wouldnt ask her for it. Or she will give me the money for something (eg when I go to the shop) in lots of change, so when I go to the shop it is always invariably short and i end up subsidising for her. It feels petty to me to make a demand for a fifty pence, and Im pretty sure she knows that. Over the years Ive probably shelled out for a heck of a lot of chocolate bars for her!

She constantly borrows other things from me too - if she notices I have something in my bag (eg a nice, expensive hand cream, she WILL come over a borrow it later with some excuse. It sounds petty but its so annoying! When I point out anything to her, she gets loud and makes a big deal of apologising sarcastically, so I look like Im just stingy. I hate that!!

I've had similar problems with boyfriends in the past too.