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Author
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Topic: Sags and communication (or lack thereof)
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dorkus_malorkus
unregistered
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posted December 15, 2005 10:44 PM
 
I have problems communicating with my Sag guy. It just feels like he doesn't listen to me sometimes. I can talk and talk to him and wonder if he has heard anything I've said! Despite this, he can be a real sweet talker and knows what to say right when I'm about to go off. It's like he senses when I'm getting angry and says something cute and then I usually forgive him. Well, maybe I am just boring? Well in any case, I have heard that Sags can talk your ear off, but aren't the best listeners  Any ideas what I can say to him without it sounding hurtful? Even though he can be pretty blunt (surprise, surprise) he can be very serious (moon in Cap) and takes everything I say very seriously, or as an insult. We've got a lot of squares in our synastry, too. All that Sag/Virgo energy happening  IP: Logged |
amisha121877
unregistered
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posted December 16, 2005 04:21 PM
p.s. i hope i'm not giving up the goods on my fellow sags  BUTyeah-up - on again /off again trance states  as a sag, i can tell you that i do NOT listen very well, AT ALL and am very hard-headed. as i get older, i don't think there is anyone who can tell me that's not a good way to be. maybe one day try this out for size, i need your advice on something. a friend of mine has trouble talking to her friend and she asked my advice on it - so and so seems like they are distant with them and she wants to know how she can talk to so and so and make sure she's heard, what suggestion would you give her? period. see if that works. good luck. IP: Logged |
dorkus_malorkus
unregistered
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posted December 16, 2005 09:16 PM
that's a good idea, thanks  i'm really mad at him right now though. i was on the phone with him and he felt the need to tell me his then best friend thought that i was ugly. and then he said "but i don't think that." and then of course he had to go so i couldn't tell him how that made me feel. i mean he apologized but he said it so casually. i'm really hurt at the moment. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 4416
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 17, 2005 01:27 AM
I just hope this isn't the one you're trying to move out with.  IP: Logged |
shop22much
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted December 17, 2005 02:06 AM
Im a virgo too(aries moon), and I can tell you if a sag ever told me I was ugly, directly or indirectly... I would give him a tongue lashing, I DONT TAKE NO SH"T, esp from sags I know what you mean about their honesty, i adore it, but sometimes they have no boundaries.....I would NOT SPEAK TO HIM AGAIN, ignore him, what a jerk!IP: Logged |
neval3000
unregistered
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posted December 17, 2005 03:00 AM
hello dorkus...MY ex sag. was like that...we were 5 years..At the beginning we have so conflicts..about life,carreer,friends..
Dont forget they hate boring things,pessimist things...If you want,you can tell what you say in funny and wisdom structure..They really like funny and philosophy..And they like surprizing...And when you meet first you seem open,when you sure about his eyes open shock him,and tell your words...In addition to that,travel a lot,because when travelling they can be very good creatures Actually,without sag.,the world can be boring,so be intelligent and attract him,smile now me:scorpio sun,sag.rising,aries moon...
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Betelgeuse
Knowflake Posts: 33
From: England
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 17, 2005 06:32 AM
I agree with everything Neval said. My girl is a Sag too, they are eternal optimists, love philosophical topics and good debates, adore variety and travelling and would much prefer to smile than frown. Agreed also, that pessimistic topics can depress a Sag, and they will actually 'turn off' and not listen. They want to be inspired and in turn they will inspire you back. Its not because they just grit their teeth and adhere to the positive whenever they can, its because they actually believe there is a hidden magic in the world, and its an elusive magic we can actually glimpse or touch if we are brave enough. IP: Logged |
dorkus_malorkus
unregistered
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posted December 18, 2005 12:53 AM
yes, it is the guy i was planning on moving in with i don't really know what to do. i called him tonite and told him what he had said (of course, he didn't realize what he had said)and that it was hurtful. i was trying to hold back tears at work today. i am particularly emotional lately. what hurt me the most is that this friend of his had dated my best friend and his friend had told him that i was "second-rate" i don't like to be compared to anyone, especially a friend. in response to this, my guy just kind of said "ohhhh" like it slowly dawned on him. and then he kept apologizing and promising he would never do it again. i told him i would forgive him, because usually i am an understanding person. but since we've been together (aug.) he's made me cry at least twice, and i'm not one to cry that often. he is constantly telling me that he's never met anyone like me, and that he's happy when i'm around, but i don't always know how to deal with his hurtful words. sometimes i just feel like staying only because i dread being alone. that's when i'm at my worst. and there's just so much going on right now in the way of me dealing with my own insecurities and coming to terms with the fact that i can never have the person i truly love. this also makes me feel awful that i can't give myself completely to my guy, because my heart is someplace else (with someone who could probably never return these feelings) sorry all, i know i turned this into another b*tch thread. but i've never really been struck with the harsh words of an archer before so this is all new for me IP: Logged |
Lialei
unregistered
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posted December 18, 2005 02:05 AM
that was very beautifully worded Betelgeuse.
I agree...especially the Love to Inspire and be Inspired part.  Although, I must be weird for a Sag, because depression always fascinates and draws me in, if anything. I love when others are real with me. I would hope if someone was sad, that they would feel safe to show their true emotion, rather then fake a smile. Dorkus, sorry...I think that was a thoughtless thing to say too.
Sometimes you have to look deeper into what a Sagittarian says, I think. If you really think about it, if he had agreed with your friend and thought you were ugly, then he probably would have thought twice before saying it. That could be why it just slipped out naturally the way it did. Not excusing what he said, just looking at why he would've said it.
His friend sure sounds like an ******* .  IP: Logged |
Betelgeuse
Knowflake Posts: 33
From: England
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 18, 2005 09:06 AM
Your right Lialei! Sags has a great ability to embrace negativity, seeing it just as the rollercoaster of life, there will always be highs and lows. Thats where the inspired Sag approachs kicks in, in times of sadness or despair, the words of a Sagittarian can be amazingly beautiful and lifting to the spirits.Dorkus, the greatest strength of a Sag is also their greatest weakness - their direct and blunt speech will often hurt unintentionally. And of course, most of the time they dont mean to say hurtful things, but it can have a profound effect on the people around them, hence the 'foot in the mouth' saying There is many ways you can view this simultaneous strength/weakness in a Sag, but here is the one I like best - Which would you rather have... A person who keeps everything to themselves and would rather lie than tell the truth, concealing much from you, or.. a person who is SO honest that they often blurt out silly things, but you always know where you stand with them. Id rather have the honesty myself, and if you keep in your mind that a typical Sagittarian is the symbol of truth, and truth spoken with a good heart without meaning to hurt anyone, then it helps us forgive those times when they say something outrageously insensitive!! All in all, its a quality that shines like a bright star in the zodiac wheel. IP: Logged |
dorkus_malorkus
unregistered
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posted December 18, 2005 09:52 AM
Aw that is beautiful, I never quite thought of it that way IP: Logged | |
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