posted January 23, 2006 01:13 AM            

quote:

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North Node in Capricorn and the 10th house

Attributes to develop – work in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents:
Self-control
Approaching life from an adult position
Self-respect
Staying goal oriented
Sensible approaches to problem solving
Keeping commitments and promises
Letting go of the past
Self-care
Accepting responsibility for success

Tendencies to leave behind – working to reduce the influence of these tendencies can help make life easier and more enjoyable:
Dependence
Moodiness
Insecurity leading to inaction
Limiting self through fear
Using the past to avoid the present
Isolation – spending too much time at home
Lack of self-respect
Avoidance of personal risk
Controlling others through emotional overreactions

The Achilles’ heel Capricorn North Node people need to be aware of is dependence. The desire to be taken care of (“If there’s no one to take care of me, I won’t survive”) can lead them into the trap of an unending search for security (“If I can just get a strong enough foundation under me, I’ll have the energy I need to take charge of my life”). They develop emotional dependencies on others, which force people into becoming a basis for their security. But it’s a bottomless pit: they can never get enough reassurance to feel safe, so they never gain the security they think they need to be capable adults and take charge of their lives.

The bottom line is that at some point they simply have to be willing to run the risk, take charge, and assume full responsibility for the consequences. When Capricorn North Node people recognize a goal that’s truly important to them and live by it, they gain the self-respect and assurance they need to live responsibly. The irony is that once they take charge, they feel secure and in control of their own destiny.

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posted January 26, 2006 09:00 PM            

Are we the only two with NN in Cap?? What do you think of the interp??

Ya know, I’m not terribly fond of that “approaching life from an adult position” crack, or the “sensible approaches to problem-solving” thang What fun is that?!?!?

I’m going to try the super-scanner at work and run the text-recognition software on ‘our’ chapter – if it works I’ll let you know Her insights are marvelous, except for a couple that I take issue with such as the above

posted February 21, 2006 05:53 PM              

Thank god.

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Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

posted February 21, 2006 06:35 PM              

This description makes me feel because I do all the things on the "must move away from" list and none of the things on the "striving for" list.

I'd like to know how one becomes self-secure. I have been terribly insecure my whole life and no matter how much I try to become secure I'm left feeling empty and alone.

posted February 21, 2006 06:50 PM            

I'm sad to hear of your angst -- I'll copy the chapter this week and get it posted here. There are a lot of sobering yet really beneficial comments she makes about our position that I think will be really helpful for you -- they were incredibly enlightening for me. Do you have a troubling transit to your Moon??

And Jan Spiller explains the "insecure" feelings that can occasionally plague us -- I'll get the chapter up for you as soon as I can.....

posted February 21, 2006 07:45 PM              

My mind is always somewhere else...I couldn't even tell you how many times people have waved their arm in front of me and I don't even see them. It's like I'm too lost. They probably think I do it to be funny but I really don't see them, lol. Then I'll blink and ask "Hey, who won the game last night?"
they'll answer "..Um..Duke...That was random."

posted February 22, 2006 06:43 AM              

I'm not sure about transits. This is a long-standing issue I've being trying to cope with since I can remember.

Life is just so big and scary and I learned nothing in childhood to help me cope with it I feel like a childish wimp!

posted February 22, 2006 10:33 PM            

Here's part of 'our' chapter from Jan Spiller -- will finish the rest in the next few days.....

quote:

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WHAT THESE PEOPLE REALLY WANT
What these people really want is an environment in which to feel safe, protected, cared for, and doted on—a place where they feel they truly belong. To achieve this, they must be willing to let go of the idea that one special person—or group of people—is going to provide it just because they think they need it. Instead, Capricorn North Nodes must take charge of creating what they need for themselves. By pursuing a goal that energizes them, or by finding an ideal or set of principles that builds their self-respect, they will develop feelings of belonging in whatever circumstances they find themselves.

Capricorn North Node people need to find a focus beyond their scattered emotional needs and those of people around them. When they bring themselves into alignment with a higher principle or spiritual belief, they feel protected and nurtured.

TALENTS/ PROFESSION
These people excel at being the "boss," so management, public speaking, politics, and entrepreneurship are good choices for them. Others are willing to cooperate with their goals, since they approach people under their authority with sensitivity. To achieve success in any area, these folks need to be "in charge" of their own piece of the puzzle.

Additionally, Capricorn North Node people have finely honed instincts for empathy. They are always aware of the feelings of others, and when they use this ability in a management situation their sensitivity encourages people to assist them with goodwill and enthusiasm. However, if they involve themselves in professions that stress nurturing as the end result, they often become enmeshed in feelings of helplessness, unable to get "on top" of the situation. They are better off in goal-oriented professions or positions that enable them to use their sensitivity to lovingly organize others to work toward a specific goal.

HEALING AFFIRMATIONS SPECIFIC TO CAPRICORN NORTH NODE
• "I cannot control others, but I can control myself."
• "In releasing the past, I deal more effectively with the present."
• "When I take charge, I win."
• "When I feel self-respect, I'm on the right path."
• "I don't need to depend on anyone else to take care of me."
• "I can take charge in this situation."
• "I am in charge of my inner state of being."

PERSONALITY
PAST LIVES
Capricorn North Node people have spent many lifetimes as householders: As central figures in the home and on the farm, they were thoroughly identified with their family or clan. Through these incarnations, they developed a natural understanding of how families work and the emotional attunement to others that is characteristic of this nodal group. But they have not had a lot of past-life experience being out on their own. And although in this lifetime their greatest joy will come from being out in the world, the problem is getting them out there! By giving up worldly experience to be in the home, they sacrificed their sense of competence and self-respect. In this incarnation, they are learning to be in charge of their own destinies.

In past lives the home was everything to these folks, and all their needs were taken care of by the family: They were fed, clothed, given shelter, and protected. So they came into this lifetime with tremendous dependence needs and now look to others to help them "get their life together." When things don't go as they want, they overreact emotionally, subconsciously hoping that others will see how upset they are and change their behavior. But other people perceive this as a means of controlling and are unwilling to modify their behavior just to appease these natives.

Capricorn North Node people are learning that in order for their lives to work, they must approach situations from a position of being "in charge." They must discard all tendencies to manipulate people through emotional outbursts, and instead approach others from a position of authority—with quiet self-respect that is removed from emotional reactions. It is a by-product of taking charge of themselves and having their own life goals. From a take-charge position, they can relate as equals without depending on others' goals for security.

FAMILY KARMA
These folks have difficult family karma. Too often, they are born into a situation where immediate family members have many emotional problems, and the Capricorn North Nodes spend a lot of time being sensitive and empathetic. However, they are drained by the incessant demands of those around them because they take on others' problems but don't feel capable of helping them change.
From past lives, Capricorn North Node people are so used to nurturing family members that they have lost a sense of their own direction. Thus, in this lifetime they tend to have difficulty when they get too close to members of their immediate family.

Actually, the problem isn't the closeness but rather their subconscious intent: "If only I can get this person on track, then finally I can have my own life, pursue my own goals, and be a person in my own right!"
Because of this subconscious motive, their "support" of family members has an unpleasant emotional intensity. They want to "get it over with" so they can live their own life. The problem is twofold: (1) trying to get the other person on track is a way to postpone making the commitment to taking care of their own lives; and (2) trying to help someone else achieve success is premature when they have not yet learned how to do it themselves.

The first job for these folks is to decide to distance themselves from total emotional involvement with their family. Once they let go, they are in a position to proceed with their own life. It is fine for them to be in touch with family members when they can objectively understand others' emotional needs from a detached position. When their happiness is no longer dependent on resolving the problems of everyone in the family, they are actually quite good at managing the family in a way that brings productive results for all concerned.

If Capricorn North Node people were to manage their families the way they run businesses, their family life would be extremely successful. In fact, they are expert managers because they have a natural understanding of people and can gently align others to cooperate in reaching the goal in ways that don't hurt anyone's feelings. They need to approach family members in the same way: from a position of authority, not of need. To do this, they need to discover what the other person's goal is and objectively support him or her in reaching it.

Alternatively, they need to have specific goals in terms of how to run the family, assume the role of manager, and facilitate family members in reaching the goals that promote everyone's best interests.

EMOTIONAL SENSITIVITY
These folks are extremely sensitive to their own emotions and those of others. Because of this innate awareness, they understand why people become upset and can't do things. They are so aware of the reasons people fail that they often become too accepting of their own lack of accomplishment. When they are having a "bad day" or don't feel like being disciplined enough to work toward their goal, they apply that same understanding and sympathy to themselves as an excuse to postpone direct action—and it becomes a self-defeating escape hatch!
Capricorn North Node people are also very tuned in to the realm of emotional connectedness and understand how people's feelings can affect others. This is both an asset and a detriment. On the plus side, it enables them to negotiate life more smoothly. The liability is that they sometimes feel for other people more than others are feeling for themselves—and this can be debilitating. They can't handle negative energy, so they mitigate their own behavior—their plans and their own personal direction—in order to accommodate others. In this way they don't have to deal with others' emotional distress—but they can easily end up being controlled by the feelings of everyone around them.

These folks take personal responsibility for other people's moods; they want to make the other person happy so that they can feel better! They can’t separate themselves from the generalized mood of people in their immediate environment. And the other people may resent not being allowed to express their true feelings because it upsets the Capricorn North Node person.

For example, if a family member invites Capricorn North Node for dinner and she really doesn't want to go, she will generally go anyway to avoid bad feelings. These natives live in avoidance of anything that might stir up emotions—in themselves or in others. This is one more technique to avoid responsibility: They don't want to make decisions because they're afraid that any decision might cause negative feelings in someone else.

Capricorn North Node people are learning to stop controlling other people's moods and simply allow those around them to feel what they feel. Sometimes people have to experience negative feelings in order to resolve important issues; when these folks try to block that experience, they rob the other person of the opportunity to grow. If someone puts his hand on a hot stove and gets burned, that's part of learning not to put his hand on stoves. The same holds true on the emotional plane. To a large extent, these folks operate from their emotions, and this equals "how to lose" for them in this lifetime. Their unique challenge is to take charge of their emotions rather than being victimized by them, and to allow others to take responsibility for their own feelings, and to grow and mature as a result.

DEALING WITH EMOTIONAL ENERGY
Capricorn North Node people are very emotional. They cry at movies and at sad stories; their feelings are very present and available to them. These folks can be so overrun by their emotions that they can't think, they can't function, and they don't know why. This can happen when they are faced with personal loss or in professional situations involving confrontation or performance; they can't seem to control it—it simply escalates.

One thing that helps when their emotions take over is to concentrate on slowing down their breathing. They need to relax, focus on letting go of the thoughts that are making them nervous, and visualize memories that have made them feel happy and peaceful: a beautiful mountain, a time by the seashore, and the like. Then they will calm down and be able to function again.

When these folks face circumstances requiring them to take charge, they may think the situation is beyond their ability to control, and they panic. They think of the possible negative consequences, their fears and insecurities arise, and all the muscles in their body tighten up. Thus, when emotions start to overwhelm them, they need to deliberately breathe, relax, and expand beyond the emotions. They can visualize themselves becoming bigger than the emotions and regaining their serenity.

Ultimately, they should not allow themselves to get into this kind of frenzy to begin with. To that end, they can notice that whenever they allow something to become excessively important to them, they become anxious. Recognizing this can make a significant difference in maintaining their peace of mind.

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posted February 23, 2006 01:25 AM            

Also, the family bit. It didn't fit me exactly, but I definitely feel like I have to stay away from them. My mom did come to me quite often with her problems when I was growing up.

posted February 23, 2006 08:37 AM              

I've never given much thought to the moon's nodes before but this explains everything.

I am going to write out these affirmations and stick them to my monitor where I can see them daily!

Thank you for sharing

posted February 24, 2006 12:02 AM            

quote:

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FEAR OF REJECTION
Capricorn North Node people hate the possibility of rejection—in fact, even the thought of being rejected is crippling for them. If someone rejects them, not only do they feel bad about themselves but they also think it was their fault. These folks are so insecure and so terrified of rejection that they enter situations very cautiously.
Part of this fear of rejection stems from their past lives, when they were shielded from the world by stronger family members. They harbor a perception that they aren't worth much by themselves; and when they are rejected, it proves to them that they're not worth much. This response is irrational, but it reinforces their inner fear, and when they think someone has rejected them, they can't sleep all night! Understandably, then, these folks hate rejecting others. They tend to take responsibility for other people's feelings and spend a long time going over all the reasons why they were justified if they have to reject someone. But they know how it feels, and thoughts of how others are feeling can upset them for hours.
Making a decision to take charge will empower Capricorn North Node people to rise above their anxieties and take steps to resolve difficult situations in a responsible way. In a personal relationship where a misunderstanding has occurred, they can take the initiative and call the other person: "I'm concerned we may have a misunderstanding, and I want you to know I would never do anything to intentionally hurt your feelings." Or: "I think we may have had a misunderstanding, and I don't want you to feel rejected."
If they come from the position of taking charge to create mutual harmony, they will know what to say to promote that harmony.,If they are temporarily too upset to make the call, their best bet is to wait until they've calmed down. They can say to themselves: "There's nothing I can do about this right now. So I'm going to call tomorrow and resolve the issue in a caring way.

HANGING ON
Capricorn North Node people are so open to their feelings that they also tend to keep open a door to feelings from the past. They don't want to close off any of the happy times, because they don't know what's going to happen in the future. They usually avoid thinking about the future at all costs. But until they begin to consciously visualize a positive future, their only reality is the past and the present. When the present does not make them happy, they drift back into thinking about the past. This process is not healthy because it distracts them from taking constructive action in the present.
When they look back at the past, these folks are seeking to regain memories and feelings of joy and love. But they also become aware of things they didn't do and wish they had, which makes them feel remorseful. This diminishes their power to take charge in the present. They need to remember that their past oversights occurred simply because they didn't have the Light at the time to know what they should do. But what they know now can empower them to reach their goals if they remain focused in the present and look to the future. The past is only beneficial when they use it to take note of which behaviors were self-defeating and which behaviors led to self-respect and strength.
Capricorn North Node people have a difficult time letting go. They are very sentimental, and they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. When they start to leave a situation, even if it's clearly not working, they get depressed—so they tend to "hang in there" until they realize, deep down, that there's no hope. They do all they can to make the relationship, the job, or the situation work. When their survival is threatened, they will leave; but they would be much better off letting go before the situation escalates to that point.
Their difficulty in letting go occurs when they lack goals for the future. Then they dwell on the past, which makes leaving an old situation far more difficult. For these folks, the best way to let go of the past (or a difficult situation in the present) is to focus on a specific goal that gives them a sense of purpose and direction. For example, if they have left a romantic relationship and miss the intimacy, their first tendency is to feel nostalgic and dwell on the closeness they no longer have. A better resolution would be to focus their energy on establishing a new relationship by joining a dating service, going dancing, or participating in other enjoyable social activities. The past must be released in order to experience the empowerment of acting in the present.
One of the most difficult things for Capricorn North Node people to let go of is their drive to control. They always want to make situations work out their way. They think that if they are in control, they are realizing their potential—but they need to recognize the difference between control and management. Trying to control other people so that their own emotions remain undisturbed means that Capricorn North Nodes are operating from an emotional plane with a self-centered view.
However, when their intent is to manage a situation, they organize things according to a bigger picture—they have already determined what will work for everyone. Now they are coming from a place of mental process (not emotions) and goal orientation. But to reach that place, they must first release the desire to control others.
Capricorn North Node people always want more—more attention, more time, more nurturing—in order to feel good. Their whole world revolves around their family, and they expect the dynamics to be reciprocal. But more nurturing from family members usually isn't forthcoming—it's just not set up that way in this lifetime.
Moreover, these folks avoid taking action by always thinking they need more help, more advice, more confidence—more of "something" first! They think that the "more" they are seeking will come from other people. Actually, the "more" that will truly fulfill them involves focusing on goals that will expand them personally—and then taking consistent, daily action to reach those goals.
As parents, Capricorn North Node people often seem like "one of the kids," because they approach children as equals rather than as parents. They are reluctant to assume the responsibilities of parenthood; they question their capability to take care of others when they are not even sure they can take care of themselves.

NEED FOR ATTENTION
Especially when they are young, these folks do anything for attention. Often when they act moody or snap at another person, it's an attempt to gain attention. This attribute sometimes keeps them from exercising their achievement "muscles"—they think they should be given attention for who they are, not for what they do. They may even create crisis in their lives so other people will become interested in them. However, it's a double-edged sword because they often sense this problem in themselves (the fact that they are "manic" for attention), so they feel guilty and berate themselves when they think they are getting too much attention.
When they are holding back and not reaching for their goals, they feel they don't deserve attention and thereby keep themselves from receiving the very thing they crave the most. The irony is that when they set a goal and go for it, others do notice and willingly give them attention and respect in a healthy, satisfying way. In addition, when Capricorn North Nodes are taking chances with their lives and working toward their goals, they feel worthy and become open to noticing and receiving the attention they need from others.
It would also help these folks to begin paying attention to themselves; to give themselves credit for making improvements in various areas of their lives. When they show care and concern for themselves it mellows them; they begin to feel better about themselves and less dependent on others.

AVOIDING RESPONSIBILITY
These folks hesitate to take full responsibility for themselves—it goes against their grain. They would have to "leave the womb" and go out into the world! Sometimes it takes a sledgehammer to wake them up and get them to take charge. They often appear to be taking responsibility, and with the "small stuff' they usually do: paying the bills, buying groceries, listening to family problems, and so on. But they continue to avoid larger issues. For example, when they try to figure out what to do with their lives, they just sit around and consider an endless stream of ideas. When they finally become motivated, they ask themselves: "Do I really want to do this?" Then they give up again!
Capricorn North Node people have a thousand excuses emanating from their subconscious, urging them to postpone working toward what they are here to do in this lifetime—what would truly make them fulfilled. If they finally say to themselves: "This is ridiculous! I'm just going to do it!" the commitment is made and they begin taking steps toward the goal.
Because these folks are very loving, their habit of yielding to others tends to interfere with their life. They may allow sympathy to cloud their vision because they don't want to evoke an emotional response from others. They let others have their way, rather than holding to their own principles.
They need to re-examine their values in relation to how they show love. One value should be keeping commitments, which creates a basis of inner strength. Capricorn North Node people need to let others know what the rules and limits are, and then stick to them unflinchingly. If they say to their teenage son: "You may go out, but be back by 10 P.M. or you can't go out for the next three nights," they need to stand by that statement. If the teenager returns at 10:30 P.M., they must be willing to endure his temper tantrums over the next three nights to stand by what they said.
Of course, if they have done this consistently, the teenager will already understand that if he breaks the rules, his parents will stand by the punishment. But if the parents become "sympathetic" and let their son go out, he will cease to respect them, and they will cease to respect themselves. These folks must learn to stand behind their word. Their commitment must be stronger than their fear of upsetting the other person.
Capricorn North Node people are learning to become responsible for themselves in this lifetime: figuring out "what they want to be when they ‘grow up' " and clarifying their goals. Being responsible for themselves includes supporting themselves financially and finding other levels on which they have never taken charge before. That's exciting and challenging—and it will give them a chance to grow!

LEARNING ADULT APPROACHES
Capricorn North Node people are learning to be adults in this lifetime and to discard their tendency to have childish reactions. To be adults requires them to actually make a commitment to a goal. When they do this, that area of their life becomes absolutely magical. Suddenly everything works to their advantage, they are filled with vitality and confidence, and they walk the pathway to success easily and with great joy. They need to use the technique of making commitments in areas of their life that are not yet yielding the results they want. Being willing to face the fear and develop the habit of making commitments is their key to self-respect and success. These folks often have a "hyper" quality—they want to "get to the next thing." This emotional restlessness prevents them from understanding what is important to them and following through. As soon as they focus on a specific personal goal, the restless emotional energy is channeled in a productive direction. Until then, they will only be working toward others' goals, and will never notice the opportunities that are being presented to themselves.
Also, Capricorn North Node people sometimes doubt their own competence to take advantage of opportunities for themselves. In a childlike way, they think they're supposed to know things that they truly don't know, and they try to hide their lack of experience by pretending the information isn't important to them. The adult perspective is to understand that everyone needs information from others to reach their goals—no one reaches a goal without input from others who are more experienced. These people may also be too ready to obey outer authorities rather than listen to their own inner truth. They may blindly follow another's expertise—especially if they're paying a lot of money—even if, in their hearts, they know that something else works better. However, they are learning to trust themselves and remember that no one knows what will work for them as well as they do. These folks have a tough time being the ultimate authority. They can take charge, instruct others, be the boss, and supervise lots of employees under the auspices of someone else. It's easier for them to work toward someone else's goal. They don't care about getting the credit, and they certainly don't want the ultimate responsibility. The irony is that Capricorn North Node people, more than any other nodal group, are gifted in their ability to be "the boss." They are so emotionally sensitive to others that when they take charge, they do it in a way that does not diminish others. They are not blocked in reaching their goal because they haven't alienated anyone along the way. As a result, however high their goal, everyone will support them in reaching it. In fact, they are scheduled for easy professional success this lifetime, once they've made the commitment to create it. Often these folks think they are not good communicators, but they only have difficulty in this area when they become emotional. When they allow themselves to get lost in their emotions, they can't think straight; then, when they speak, it's just a jumble of emotion! However, if they pull back from their emotions and speak from the "in charge" part of themselves, they find the perfect words to evoke respect and cooperation from others. The difference is the part of themselves they access: the emotional part, or the adult part. If they become emotional, they can regain inner equilibrium by asking themselves: "What can I do to take charge of this situation from an adult point of view?" For Capricorn North Node people, strength increases with age. This applies to every aspect of their life, but especially to their professional life or other areas of goal fulfillment. The passing years also help these folks to take things less personally. When things go "wrong" they understand that they are not personally at fault—different things come together to create a difficult situation. As Capricorn North Node people begin to expand and take a larger, more compassionate view, they also ease up on themselves. 'When they stop blaming themselves for everything, they also stop blaming others.

NEEDS
SECURITY
Capricorn North Node people have an insatiable need to feel secure. From past lives they are accustomed to being nurtured and protected, and although in this lifetime they are the ones scheduled to provide for others, they remain content to just breathe their way through life—to just get through it with as little exertion as possible! They like the safety of routines: waking up at a certain time, eating at a certain time, coming home, watching television or reading, going to bed at a certain time. Ultimately, however, they will have to leave their routines behind to find the greater security of self-confidence: knowing they can take risks and succeed.

BELONGING
These folks have a deep need to "belong." In past lives, they strongly identified with their families and took comfort in being part of a group. Now they must learn to be discriminating and choose to spend time with people who give them that feeling of belonging—to satisfy their need in a responsible way. Home and property are also important in giving them a sense of security. (However, unless there are other factors in the birth chart indicating otherwise, these natives do not have very good "real estate karma" in terms of making money.)
Because of the focus on home, they may spend too much time there. When they do, the home can keep them from expanding and taking charge of their life. If these natives run their own business, it is generally a good idea for them not to run it from their home, but to rent a space—even if it has to be in someone else's home. They need to get out into the world on a regular basis to keep their energy in motion. Excessive time at home can make them too comfortable and life can become a routine they use to avoid interacting with the outside world. Then the opportunity for true vitality, growth, and progress is aborted.
Capricorn North Node people are afraid that they don't belong—and they don't know how to behave in order to be accepted. So they look around to see what behaviors are approved of by "the group" and then emulate those behaviors. They crave intimacy, and the only way they can think to get it is by yielding to the group. However, going along when they don't really want to can be a source of deep disappointment for them. The group generally doesn't reciprocate by yielding to them.
These folks can also get derailed when they become part of a "clan" or "clique" because they apply their "adopted" principles to other groups, which leaves them feeling alienated. And they don't understand why! The problem with trying to meet their need to belong by becoming part of a clique is that it implies exclusion of other groups—they think they only belong with a limited number of people. Although it does work to pledge themselves to a cause that is greater than their personal life, problems arise when they forget to discriminate. For example, if they have fervor about Republican politics when they're in a group of Republicans, that group will make them feel as if they belong. But the same fervor will make them feel alienated in a room full of Democrats. If they want to feel accepted, they should focus on whatever principles they have in common with the people they're speaking to.

FEAR OF FAILURE VERSUS SELF-RESPECT
Capricorn North Node people have such an exaggerated fear of failure that it cripples them, stopping them from making the changes that could lead to success. As long as they are afraid they are going to fail, they think they can "get away with" depending on others. They think they "aren't quite ready" to be adults and seek opportunities for success. However, sooner or later they recognize that no one else is going to take care of them—it's just not set up that way in this lifetime.
Sometimes these folks use any excuse whatsoever—even their age—to avoid facing their fears and going out in the world. After years of wrestling with themselves and finally deciding they won't be fulfilled until they accomplish their "mission," they may decide that their age will interfere with attaining the goal. Fear of aging can—for these folks—be a reflection of the part of them that doesn't want to grow up.
However, Capricorn North Nodes are the very people who should embrace age: "Thank goodness I've finally reached maturity!" What they'll be embracing is a willingness to start working toward a goal that will make life meaningful, bring them fulfillment, and give them self-respect. With these folks, it is illogical to think that age could work against them professionally: The roles they seek are usually enhanced by age, as it gives them more power, credibility, and authority. While they can also achieve their goals early on, often it is in the second half of life that Capricorn North Nodes finally take a stand. Thus, when they feel pressured by age considerations, it's really their psyche saying: "It's time!"
These people recognize that they will be much more unhappy if they never try to attain their goal than if they try and fail—as long as they give it 100 percent of their effort. The voice that keeps saying: "What if you fail?" is part of the past-life mechanism that doesn't want them to be out in the world. It's really saying: "Don't grow up . . . Don't go out," and this is self-defeating. If they listen to that voice, they will never gain self-respect.
In a past life the Capricorn North Node may have had a husband who didn't allow her to go out, or an overly protective parent whose voice she has internalized. But it finally boils down to saying: "Okay—that's it," and taking charge of her situation. In that instant, her position in life makes a complete turnaround. When these natives are willing to take full responsibility, they begin to exercise control over their lives and gain a sense of self-respect, which is what they need more than anything else.
In fact, when Capricorn North Node people are in doubt about whether a specific action is correct, they can use the barometer of self-respect to determine if they are "on path." For example, if they are anxious about making a phone call, they can ask themselves: "Regardless of the outcome, will making this call give me a sense of self-respect?" If the answer is yes, they will "win" by making the call. If the answer is no, they should re-think their position.
Capricorn North Nodes like to float along in an emotional haze, which automatically puts them in a "one down" position. But when they approach life from a "take charge" position, everything shifts and they feel empowered. Yet there's a lot of fear around doing this because they're not accustomed to it, and they're afraid of not being perfect or not being competent. But regardless of how long they postpone, sooner or later in this lifetime they will have to stand up and take charge. The sooner they make this shift in attitude, the sooner they'll start enjoying themselves.
For example, I had a Capricorn North Node client who wanted to be a teacher. Many educators go right into teaching after college, but he postponed it until he had earned three college degrees—and even then he didn't feel ready to be in a position where he would be expected to "take charge." Ultimately, he just did it—and that's what it takes for these folks. Once they take the plunge and "just do it," their success validates their abilities.
Once these natives are in charge, they are in control of their emotional needs and can be sure they are taken care of. No longer at the mercy of other people, they finally feel self-sufficient and secure.

MAINTAINING A POSITIVE, FOCUS
Capricorn North Node people are good at encouraging others to pursue their dreams by offering motivation, enthusiasm, and supportive energy. Now they are learning how to encourage themselves. Although these folks are subject to dark moods, they are very resilient. They don't "get down and stay down"; when they're pushed down, they get back up. They just have to remember that if things don't turn out exactly as they want, that's okay. Their challenge is to go out and give it their best shot.
These folks have an unparalleled connection with their emotions. 'When they say: "I'll bet you can do it!" with feeling, it reassures others and themselves that they can indeed accomplish their goals. Because they have such a strong mind-feeling connection, they also are good healers. However, to truly be a source of encouragement for themselves and their loved ones, they need to overcome the habit of dwelling on the potentially negative consequences of every situation. They think they're "protecting" the other person from being hurt down the line, but actually they're creating road-blocks in that person's path. They need to focus only on achieving positive results. These natives are not normally courageous and do not take the chances that those in other nodal signs might be inclined to take. Thus, when people they care about are excited to take a chance in life, these folks need to consciously show a positive attitude.
The best bet for Capricorn North Node people is to overcome their fear by concentrating on creating success. For these folks, looking at the negative side only drains energy from the focus they need to win. They must remind themselves of past successes and concentrate on the nuts and bolts of how to attain specific goals. When they learn to focus on the positive, their emotions will support them in creating the results they want and in encouraging others to succeed as well.

TAKING CHARGE
These folks often come from a framework of limited goals. From past lives of spending all their time in family environments, these natives are new at being in the world, and they lack the confidence that comes from experience. But in this lifetime, it's set up for them to win every time they take charge and accept the opportunities presented to them. Through positive experiences they will gain confidence in their own abilities. They need to recognize that since their goals are often "safe" and not based on taking risks, it will benefit them to be open to other people's input. This input can help them expand to new levels they wouldn't have thought of on their own.

FACING ISSUES
Capricorn North Node people may think they're very open, but actually they have a lot of trouble sharing how they feel. They can appear shallow to others, since they don't see very far beyond their immediate situation. They may understand things easily—they are often very intelligent—but putting their ideas into practice is tough for them. They have so many negative thoughts that it's difficult for them to accomplish things or to face issues in a positive way.
They avoid issues partly because they imagine so many reasons why the other person responded in a certain way—without asking the other person what is really going on. They get "feelings" and "hunches" about why the person rejected them, or said what he said, and so on. However, their instincts are nearly always wrong. If they look back over previous experiences, they notice that what they suspected was behind other people's behavior was often inaccurate. Thus, their best bet is to directly ask the other person why he responded in the way he did, and then listen to what he says.
It helps if these folks have a specific goal in mind before trying to resolve an issue with another person: wanting to create unity, wanting to end the relationship, wanting feedback so they can modify their behavior to get better results, and so on. If they have a defined goal—separate from the feelings of the people involved—it helps them remain objective. For example, if they have to fire an employee, focusing on the goal—firing the employee—is the only thing that keeps them from being lost in the intensity of the ensuing feelings. In resolving a misunderstanding in a friendship, their best bet is to have a goal in mind and let the other person know their intention: "Look, there's something I want to share with you, and I want you to know that my intention is to create greater closeness between us." When Capricorn North Nodes take charge and let the other person know their feelings have been hurt, they often find that the other person didn't realize how they were affected.

INTEGRITY
These folks are learning to be forthright and have integrity about what they do and do not know. Because they tend to feel incompetent when they don't have all the answers, they often do nothing in situations that seem overwhelming—or else they respond with a behavior pattern from their past. They are learning to acknowledge when they do not have the answers—by speaking directly to the other person—and to get more feedback about what the other person needs. For example, I had a client with this nodal position who taught high school students how to play all the band instruments. He was proficient on the drums and knew the other instruments only superficially. One day a student approached him with a question about the trumpet: "How do you play an F note?"
My client was worried: "What if I tell him the wrong thing? I'll look stupid!" But he knew there were different ways he could respond. He could intimidate the student: "What do you mean? You don't know?"—which would deny the student the help he needed. Or he could say: "Listen, I don't know right now, but I'll check on it and get back to you." When these folks say "I don't know," it makes them equal with others and promotes the feeling of intimacy they seek. When they follow through and find the information, they generate respect and appreciation.
The first step is to have the humility to admit "I don't know." Then they can seek more information. When they take the other route (intimidating the person with an overly emotional response), they distance themselves, and mistrust and defensiveness result instead of the intimacy they desire.

FREEDOM FROM EMOTIONAL BONDAGE
RELEASING THE PAST
Capricorn North Node people often dislike, and feel alienated from, one or both of their parents. They may not overtly express this, but deep down it is true. They may think their parents didn't give them the support they needed to successfully go out into the world. Or they may think their parents tried to make them into someone other than the person they were destined to be. These thoughts can cause them to achieve less than what their innate capabilities would allow. In a subconscious attempt to punish their parents for this injustice, they may keep themselves from reaching their goals. For example, if a parent once told the Capricorn North Node she was a failure or made her feel that she was "not good enough," she may sabotage herself in order to punish her parent for the mistreatment: "See—I'm not a success, and it's all your fault!"
To be successful, these folks have to be willing to put their own best interests and self-respect ahead of the desire to cast their parents or others as wrong: They have to be willing to say: "Yes, you are right. I am capable of more than what I was achieving before." This requires maturity. It also requires a conscious effort not to dwell on the past, and to stay focused on what makes their lives strong in the present—doing things that bring them self-respect.

MASTERING THE EMOTIONS
Capricorn North Node people are so sensitive that they are aware of all levels of communication, including others' words, feelings, and body language—and all the discrepancies and uncertainties that accompany them! When someone communicates a decision to them, they are immediately aware of all the contradictory feelings underneath. For example, if they are invited to someone's home for dinner and they say "No thank you," even if the person says "Fine, another time," these folks will stew for hours about how, underneath, the person had many other feelings—which may or may not be true! These folks need to remember that the friend, taking into account his or her feelings of disappointment, sadness, understanding, and caring, decided to respond by saying: "Fine, another time." They are learning to attune to others' actual responses—not to the feelings they imagine are underneath.
These people always do better if they have time to think things through, because an unexpected event or new information can cause their emotions to boil over and confuse their thinking. Sometimes, if they can't find a solution or make a decision immediately, they react with frustration. They can't get a handle on how to respond because there is so much emotional interference. But taking a stand involves making a decision, and there are contradictory feelings about nearly every decision one makes. The idea is to focus on the decision and not on the possible repercussions. Handling negative repercussions is simply an opportunity to grow and become stronger.
These natives also need a defined goal to keep from being lost in their emotions. If you place a handful of crabs in a barrel, the crabs will remain on the bottom of the barrel even if the lid is off and they have the opportunity to climb up to freedom. Occasionally, one crab may start climbing up the side of the barrel, and all the other crabs will pull him back down to the bottom again. For Capricorn North Node people, their emotions are like fearful and possessive crabs: They always pull these natives back down until they simply make up their minds to go for the freedom and let nothing hold them back!
Sometimes these folks need to suffer an incident that wakes them up to the necessity of facing their emotions—then life becomes much easier. Up to that point, they are victimized by their emotions—totally overwhelmed by their feelings on a regular basis. Until they learn to put their feelings in perspective, their emotions represent something scary and "out of control" that they want to avoid. When these natives indulge in negativity, the negative feelings overwhelm them and they even begin to experience negative physical reactions.
One of their greatest challenges in this lifetime is discriminating between positive feelings and debilitating, negative emotions. There are four primary emotions that, when indulged, are a Pandora's box for Capricorn North Node people: Fear, Anger, Guilt, and Insecurity. They absolutely cannot afford to indulge in any of these four emotions, because they don't know when to stop! Once they get into Guilt, for example, they can never feel guilty "enough"—they keep piling it on and it lasts for a lifetime.
These folks are so conditioned to indulging the negative feelings that they don't even know they're doing it. The first step is to notice when they are experiencing one of the four emotions and to be aware of the consequences. For example, when they allow themselves to become angry, for a brief period they may actually be "mad" (that is, insane). They say and do things they wouldn't say or do if they were thinking clearly. They need to notice the consequences of acting on any of those four emotions, and they will see the disintegrating effect. Then they can learn to stop, just as they wouldn't keep their hand on a hot stove once they see that it's getting burned.
Other nodal groups know where to draw the line and can use these emotions as a "wake-up call" to change their behavior. But Capricorn North Node people are addicted to their emotions and absolutely cannot allow themselves to indulge in any of the "big four" just as alcoholics cannot allow themselves to take even one drink. Fear, Anger, Guilt, and Insecurity are not only mentally debilitating but physically dangerous as well. On the other hand, Joy, Love, and Appreciation are pleasurable and healthy. In fact, any other emotions—aside from the "big four"—are fine for these folks, because they don't lead to uncontrolled excess.

RELATIONSHIPS
DEALING WITH EMOTIONS
Everyone wins when Capricorn North Node people learn to pull back and don't allow themselves to be caught up in others' emotions. Other people win because they can express how they feel without the native reacting inappropriately. Capricorn North Node people win because they don't have to appease others for fear of their emotional response. They can just watch the other person objectively and say to themselves: "Well, that's Joe having a temper tantrum," or "That's Mary being Mary." They can allow other people to be themselves without being swept up in the negative energy. To acquire the habit of a healthy emotional distance, they can silently remind themselves: "When I let others be themselves, I am free."

DEPENDENCE
In past lives, these folks got used to other people rushing to their rescue whenever they became upset, which led to reliance on others for emotional stability. However, the price was high: This behavior robbed them of the strength of knowing that they are capable of solving their own problems and being in charge of their own emotional states.
Too much support from others actually became a liability for them, creating a deep insecurity that they might not be able to "get it together" on their own. Thus, in this lifetime they are no longer allowed emotional dependence. When they get truly upset and "fall apart," it doesn't work for them—it's not set up in their charts that way. Whenever they become overly emotional, they might as well know that rather than taking care of them, others will walk away. This is life's way of curbing self-defeating emotional dependence.
Capricorn North Node people's emotional upsets are a bottomless pit. They want attention: They want someone to enter their emotional state and resolve it for them. But when they act on this they don't feel good about themselves after the emotional frenzy and are left hoping the other person doesn't think less of them. This is why consciously behaving in ways that gain respect from others—and, more important, increase their own self-respect—is so important for them. It is a compass that keeps them on track and leads them through the mire of shifting moods.
These folks are often especially susceptible to developing an overdependence on family—a feeling of "us against the world." This is why they tend to be patriotic—it's an extension of the "us against them" principle. Often they go out of their way to pay full taxes, feeling obligated to do their share to support the expanded "family unit" of their country. Subconsciously, they still feel dependent on family for survival. In past lives, if the family rejected them, they were banished to fend for themselves and their survival was in jeopardy.
Capricorn North Node people think they need to rely on others. They want to know that someone else is there, and they tend to create a habit of dependence: giving people rides, buying things for them, and so on. Their entire life revolves around the other person.
When they feel someone is there to back them up, they can summon the courage to successfully enter the world. Yet should that person suddenly leave, these folks fall apart professionally as well as personally. Suddenly they're terrified that they can't achieve their goals, even if they have been successful for years.
Actually, these folks are the ones with the power. When they misunderstand that and give their partners the power, it spells disaster for the relationship. When they let others be in charge and make all the decisions, they aren't being adults and they ultimately lose the respect and love of their partners. However, at any point they can turn the situation around and say to themselves: "Okay—now I'm going to take back my power and start being an adult in this relationship," and change their behavior.
Sometimes the "child pattern" is triggered when the Capricorn North Node gets married. As soon as he has that secure "family" feeling, he starts giving the other person all the responsibility. As long as he does this, he'll never have a happy marriage. Whenever the overly emotional child part of these natives emerges, the situation goes downhill. But all they have to do is consciously access the adult part of themselves and start practicing right where they are! Once they take responsibility for their own success, others never let them down. Capricorn North Nodes are in charge, and their lives become magical.

CONTROL
Capricorn North Node people have problems being assertive because they don't want to upset others. If they hurt the other person, they know they will feel bad, so they tend to go along when they really don't want to. If someone close wants to do something and they don't want to, they are likely to go along and be miserable rather than make the other person unhappy. To take charge in that kind of situation, their best bet is to say "I don't want to do it," explain how it would be counterproductive, state what they would rather do, and stick to it. This builds self-respect. When they do it without an emotional charge, the other person is generally fine with it, so both people are happy.
Because Capricorn North Node people feel controlled by the emotional reactions of others, they try and control others through their own emotional outbursts. When they get upset, their emotions fill their words and their energy field, and others often acquiesce simply because it's not worth dealing with the intense emotions that emerge when Capricorn North Nodes don't get their way.
It is their style in asserting themselves that determines the result. For example, if they are going to be working late, they tend to make excuses: "Well, I think I can get this done in 30 minutes and then I'll hurry and come down and get dinner . . . and what would you like to eat . . . oh my God, oh my God." That's not being an adult; that's a child trying to please. An adult would say something like: "I'm going to be working until 9:00 tonight, so you might want to go out and get your own dinner because I won't have time to make it."
Alternatively, if another person wants them to do something and they say: "I don't want to do it!" with an emotional charge, the person will back off. But this doesn't promote closeness. The idea is for these folks to establish a sensible, in-charge-of-self position: "I don't want to go with you this weekend because I have to get up early for work on Monday and I need to catch up on my rest." They need to let the other person know why they have decided it is not in their best interest to "go along," and then stick to it.
If they want some time to think it through, they should say: "It sounds like a great idea. Let me think about it and I'll get back to you." They are learning to stand up for themselves in a rational way instead of allowing themselves to be influenced by other people's emotional intensity or seeking to control the situation through their own emotions.

DENIAL
Capricorn North Node people sometimes overlook problems because they don't want to deal with anything that is emotionally unpleasant. They fear they may somehow create a crisis by facing things directly. If no one else brings it up, they let it pass and hope it will go away.
The problem is that they don't speak up about things that hurt their own feelings. They overcompensate by taking on too many of the little responsibilities in a relationship because they're afraid of losing their partner They think: "Well, if I really love her, I'll just accept it." They avoid direct communication and instead get angry and quiet with the other person—and then the relationship ends anyway!
Another technique of denial is using a lack of understanding as a way to postpone taking responsibility: "I don't understand it enough to take charge yet." Capricorn North Node people also use the word "understand" when they actually mean "accept." They may say: "I don't understand why you are doing this to me! I don't understand why you are so upset!" But they are just putting the attention back on themselves; they're really saying: "I don't accept that you are doing this to me! I don't accept that you are so upset!" They use denial as a means of avoiding responsibility for finding a resolution.
Owing to their sensitivity to emotions, these folks are acutely aware when problems exist in their relationships. Denying the discontent may work for a while, but the problems don't "go away." Capricorn North Nodes never want to bring up unresolved issues because part of them fears they may not be able to handle the conflict. Actually, a festering issue becomes more difficult to resolve over time—a difference of opinion can lead to a divorce. Facing it right away and exposing the underlying feelings are the keys to talking it out and restoring good feelings on both sides. When the partner says "I'm upset—I have a problem in this relationship," going into denial is absolutely "how to lose."
For Capricorn North Node people, exposing the problems they see is the key to keeping the relationships that are important to them, but everything depends on the approach. If they approach the other person from a position of taking responsibility for guiding the relationship to a predetermined goal (a happy marriage; a long-lasting, permanent friendship; a long-term business partnership, etc.), they can expose the problem in the context of seeking a mutually satisfying solution. For example: "There is an issue in our relationship that is upsetting for me, and I want to discuss it and learn more about how we both feel, what we need, and how we can handle it in a way that works for both of us." They should identify the problem, explain how they feel, and solicit information about how the other person feels, keeping the positive goal in mind.
Once they have initiated an exchange of information and viewpoints, they open the way to a higher level of emotional well-being for both people.
In a marriage where a situation has been unresolved for a long time, taking charge may mean going to a marriage counselor to make sure that each person understands the other. After all, the relationship exists because at one time both people wanted it; with proper communication, the original enthusiasm can be restored and perhaps even enriched.

ROLES
ATTRACTING THE RIGHT MATE
Owing to past lifetimes of dependence, Capricorn North Node people think they need a strong partner for protection and support. Sometimes they attract the wrong person to partner with—someone who wants to take care of them and keep them in the home. But if this happens, their inner self begins to rebel after a time, and they end up repelling the very person they were attracted to. In this lifetime, something inside them wants to prove their capacity to take care of themselves. What they really need is a partner who can support them in developing their own professional and personal authority.
When these folks come from a position of neediness, their relationships break down. However, when they enter a relationship with the resolution to take responsibility for their own happiness, the relationship can assume its proper importance. But the fulfillment they seek can never come primarily from a relationship; it will come from actively pursuing their mission and participating in life from a take-charge position that builds self-respect.
Even in close relationships, these natives are better off maintaining a sense of their own authority—not compromising themselves to appease their partner. For example, I had a client with this nodal position who had tremendous creative energy and a real talent for writing—she was published nationally while still in college. When she married she stopped writing, putting all her energy into emotionally supporting her husband and children. She "didn't want to upstage [her] husband and undermine his confidence."
Twenty years passed. When her children left home she was filled with resentment toward her husband, blaming him because she hadn't pursued her writing career. Her husband had actually encouraged her writing, but she projected that her success would have upset him emotionally even though he encouraged her verbally. I had occasion to speak with her husband, and he truly did want her to pursue her career! It even would have helped out the family financially. This particular story does not have a happy ending: The wife chose to continue blaming others for her sense of failure, which prevented her from actively taking charge of her own life.
This is what happens when the Capricorn North Node uses others' feelings as an excuse for not living her own life. In fact, she is responsible for using her time in ways that build self-respect. The first person who needs to understand where she wants to go and what she wants to do is Capricorn North Node herself. Then, when she lets her partner know what's important to her, the relationship begins to accommodate her!
Once these folks are actively pursuing their own goals, acting out of integrity and being themselves, they can see whether the people who are attracted to them will be an asset or a liability. They can be objective, because they don't need the other person for their survival. In fact, the right person will be attracted to them when they have found a goal, made the commitment, and are actively on their own path. Then they emit an energy that is aligned with their spiritual self, and people who can support that energy will be attracted to them. If they are already married, taking charge will give their partners an opportunity to support them in a new way.

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posted February 24, 2006 12:03 AM            

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THE NURTURING MOTHER
Capricorn North Node people too easily take on an exaggerated "mother" role in personal relationships. This absolutely does not work for them—or their loved ones. They often become lost in the role of nurturing mother, subject to the constantly changing emotional force fields of others. When they find their lives swallowed up in catering to other people, they feel victimized. In fact, no one requires the amount of "presence" that these folks tend to provide.
Their motive in playing the role of the nurturing mother is to keep the moods of those around them happy. But others perceive it as interference, and Capricorn North Nodes experience an energy drain, so both people lose. Also, oversensitivity to others' moods can cause these folks to be manipulated. Others become dependent on them to supply physical things to keep them in a good mood. It is a form of constant nurturing, and these natives generally feel good providing it. But they should protect themselves from those who approach them in hopes that they will play the "caretaker" role all the time.
Philosophically, Capricorn North Node people think that all people should help each other and, if everyone did so, the world would be a better place. So they usually try to help if they can, and they do it without an ulterior motive. But although they instinctively take care of people, it's often without knowing what will really help. They consider others' physical needs but not the deeper issues. They would like to be able to take care of others' spiritual needs, but they don't know how.
Instead of playing the nurturing mother role in this lifetime, they need to put more emphasis on the "father" role—taking responsibility to help others achieve constructive goals. This means listening to accurately discern the intentions of the other person, and then consciously deciding to help. Sometimes they take on a mothering role in the hope that it will evoke a "take-charge" attitude in the other person. Ultimately, for their relationships to work, these folks must become conscious of how others are really feeling and then take charge. If they need help in making a decision, they should call on an invisible father figure—their Higher Power—to enable them to assume the father role in difficult situations.

INTIMACY
Capricorn North Node people value intimacy: being able to talk freely, bare their souls, and be close without fear of judgment. They don't understand when this intimacy doesn't happen. When they find someone they want to be close to, they usually work hard to create intimacy; but sometimes no matter what they do they ultimately feel shut out. One of their lessons is learning not to take things personally: Some people don't want intimacy. Not everyone holds the same values as they do. They are learning not to waste their time trying to create intimacy with those who don't want it. If it isn't working, their best bet is to let it go. They need to allow other people to choose whether or not to be intimate, and respect their choice.
On the other hand, some people may indeed want to be intimate with the Capricorn North Node, but she may not value closeness with them. The person might be a business associate whom she sees regularly; but when they establish intimacy, the Capricorn North Node ends up feeling drained or depressed. Perhaps underneath she doesn't really respect the other person's principles. Once again, discrimination is the key. It may be that there are some people with whom it is not appropriate for the Capricorn North Node to be intimate, even if the other person desires closeness. The native can tell by monitoring her energy level. If she feels happy and invigorated, then creating intimacy with that person is appropriate.

COMMUNICATION
A primary factor in the problems experienced by Capricorn North Node people in relationships and intimacy is their disinclination to listen. They can be practically impossible to talk to, unless the other person is willing to do all the listening. They are so thrilled when the attention is on them or when someone asks their opinion that they lose touch with what the other person wants. They mean to be helpful, but since they don't really listen they can't see where the other person is headed or the answer he is looking for—so they just go on and on without any focus. Their minds jump in a lateral direction. It reflects a lack of discipline on their part.
To truly hear the other person, listening has to be very deliberate for these folks. Often they don't listen because they don't think they have anything to gain. Unless it directly involves them, they don't take the trouble to come out of themselves and connect with others, empathize, and actively participate—it requires too much effort. They tend to think only in terms of: "How does this affect me?" When something larger is presented, they don't always understand its importance. Indulgence in this tendency keeps them from establishing the intimacy they long for, since they aren't really connecting with others.
If what the other person is saying doesn't immediately affect them, they start thinking about something else, so their response may be inappropriate and invite rejection or misunderstanding. However, they gain more from their interactions when they do take an interest in the other person. When they deliberately pay attention and try to hear the other person, their responses are much different. Both people feel more at ease in the interaction, and Capricorn North Nodes realize that putting energy into hearing the other person is worthwhile. They will gain more satisfaction and a better understanding of both themselves and others.
Capricorn North Node people also tend to project their own needs onto others, rather than hearing the other person's needs. They may even say: "Tell me what you want, and I'll see if I can do it"—but then they don't hear what the other person says. They hear the words but don't understand the meaning, so they can't act on it. Especially if the relationship has emotional or personal overtones, the other person's communication may seem threatening. This is because deep down, they think they are incapable of filling other people's nonphysical needs. They're afraid that even if they understand, they won't be able to do anything about it—and then the other person will be disappointed and they will feel incompetent.
To make their relationships work, Capricorn North Nodes must deliberately concentrate on listening. Even if it's something that they fear may upset them, they must be open to hearing it in order to gain accurate knowledge of what is happening. Their minds work quickly, but unless it's a poignant or pragmatic matter they know they can't process the information instantly, so they don't even want to allow the information in. It is perfectly understandable that these folks don't process information as quickly as those in other nodal groups because their emotions are connected with their minds. It takes them awhile to separate their mental process from their feelings, and they need private time to reflect on the overall picture. Being willing to think about it later gives them the space to listen without feeling they have to respond on the spot.
Sometimes in conversation Capricorn North Node people become flustered because the other person asks for feedback or advice. They're surprised that the other person would respect their judgment. But when they haven't listened, they haven't taken responsibility for wanting to help the other person and aren't able to respond. 'When they are focused on helping others, they can bypass their emotional response and connect with their ability to see the larger picture.
Another block to communication occurs when these folks think they already know everything. And they do know how everything operates in the context of their own world. They know how to maintain the status quo in their family unit, and they're comfortable in their "womb." They fight to maintain the principles of their world rather than recognizing that there are other "worlds" from which they could benefit as well. They will grow and gain from what they don't know, not from what they already know. If they become more solution oriented—open to ideas beyond what they already know—they will no longer fear not having "the answer."
Not listening also causes them to miss opportunities because they are concerned only with their immediate affairs and not the larger view. In order to stop missing these opportunities, they can consciously say to them-selves: "What opportunity is this person bringing me? What is the opportunity in this situation?" By focusing on opportunities that are being presented, Capricorn North Nodes' capacity to listen will shift to a focused, take-charge mode.

SELF-CENTEREDNESS
Capricorn North Node people often are self-centered, and that is one of the reasons they don't use their gift of empathy: They don't want to exert themselves. They regard themselves as very practical people. If they don't think there's something they can do about a problem, they don't want to "waste" the energy. They may think they're being sympathetic with someone, but it's not true caring because it doesn't contribute to the other person's well-being.
Empathy involves being with someone. It's an active process: "getting into" the other person's situation and feeling what the other person feels. What can help these folks make the transition from sympathy to empathy is realizing the shortcomings of sympathy: Sympathy doesn't solve problems.
No other nodal group has such tremendous capacity for empathy, yet Capricorn North Nodes may be afraid to actively empathize with someone. They sense how the other person is feeling, and they fear that if they allow themselves to experience it, they'll get hurt too and still not be able to help. When they do step out of themselves and empathize with the other person, suddenly the answers come to them and they are able to constructively improve the situation.
For example, I had a Capricorn North Node client whose father recently passed away. The day before his father died, my client entered the hospital room and his father—who was in an oxygen tent—stretched out his arms and said: "I'm having a hard time breathing." My client didn't know what to do to help. So he stayed for a few minutes longer, made an excuse, and left. When he reflected on the incident later and empathized with his father, he realized that he should have simply stayed and held his father's hand.
These folks have beautiful and loving ways of helping—when they take a few moments to empathize, they know exactly what to do. When they clearly distinguish between sympathy and empathy, they want to be empathetic. They realize it is good to exert themselves and contribute in some way so they feel connected and can establish the intimacy they seek.

GOALS
GOAL ORIENTATION
The salvation for Capricorn North Node people lies in becoming more objective and goal oriented in all areas of life. Without a goal, they drift in a sea of emotions and are pulled under by their own moods and feelings—and those of the people around them. There's no way out of the fluctuating emotional morass other than to attach themselves to a goal that is larger than their personal life. By holding to that goal, they can pull themselves out of the emotional force field.
In any area of life where they feel bogged down by emotions and needs, they must set a specific goal. For example, if they find themselves bogged down by their children, they could set a goal for ways of dealing with the children (for example, to concentrate on breathing, to maintain a state of serenity). Actually, they may want to establish a specific goal in relation to each child (to support Johnny in being more lighthearted, to help Cindy gain confidence, etc.). By focusing on the goal rather than the child's current emotional state, they will be able to maintain their own emotional balance and be more effective as parents.
Commitment is key for these folks: making the decision to achieve a role with dignity, self-respect, and the integrity of actualizing their potential. In working toward their chosen goal, considerable character development takes place. Reaching a goal is extremely fulfilling for these folks; it validates their power, expertise, and competence in a way that nothing else can. In the end, the self-assurance and self-respect that has been gained from the process is their true reward.

SETTING GOALS
Having a defined goal is an absolute necessity for Capricorn North Node people. In the process of working toward a goal, their whole life takes on power and vitality. Thus, finding a goal that they feel is appropriate, and then going about attaining it, is the real key to enjoying their life. Once they define a goal, their access to emotional power helps them get there; this is a highly positive use of their emotions.
In any area of life, when they exercise self-control it's healthy for them. If they take control of their diet and pay close attention to their eating habits, it's positive and nurturing and they feel great about themselves. If they schedule a regular exercise routine, it gives them the self-respect of applying discipline to reach a goal.
Capricorn North Node people have a desire to demonstrate that they can handle their life and prove their competence. They're not afraid to work, but they don't have much confidence—and the only thing that will give them confidence is the success of accomplishment itself. No matter how intelligent they are, if they don't put anything into practice they will fall short of realizing their full potential.
For these folks, part of being able to achieve goals involves being realistic in terms of what they can do. Once they see the bigger picture, they can set smaller goals to get there systematically. When they set goals they know they can achieve, meeting each one gives them confidence to go on to the next.
For example, they may want to lose 50 pounds. Rather than setting one ultimate goal of losing 50 pounds, they are better off saying: "I want to lose 2 pounds in a month." Then, if they lose more than 2 pounds in the first month, they can expand the goal to 4 pounds in the second month. If the result is too difficult to attain, then the next month the idea is to set their expectations lower. It's important that they be flexible and not pressure themselves—they can readjust the goal according to the results they achieve. If they have a smaller goal and attain it, it makes them feel good. They validate what they accomplished, and they have more confidence to proceed to the next goal.
I once had a Capricorn North Node client who wanted to exercise by swimming. At first he swam one lane at super speed and was exhausted. He wanted to be able to swim back and forth, and he could see people 70 years old who were going back and forth—how did they do that? So he talked to them and he practiced, and after a while he was able to swim back and forth. His next goal was to be able to swim a mile, and after that he set a goal of swimming his mile in 45 minutes. Then he got it down to 32 minutes—and after that he felt like he was training for the Olympics! This is how these folks become experts at accomplishment: They set attainable goals and then expand them. They are learning how to accomplish goals by staying focused and not getting frustrated. Then the entire process is exhilarating!

SENSIBLE APPROACHES TO REACHING GOALS
A primary purpose of this incarnation for Capricorn North Node people is to learn the art of goal achievement, and they are destined for great success once they learn how. Ultimately, it is their destiny to learn how to take care of themselves. By postponing the time when they take charge, they waste the resources of vitality and youth—after all, it takes energy to build a financial base or a business that will support them. The sooner they take control of their life and start to plan ahead, the better their chances for success. Their best bet is to identify a long-range goal they can begin working toward energetically and get right to it!
These folks often worry that by pursuing a larger goal, their personal life will suffer. So they become immersed in their daily pleasures and problems, ignoring the fact that they're not taking sensible steps to ensure their future. They don't take opportunities because all they think about is what they don't want to do, rather than focusing on the larger picture of what they do want to do—and then going for it. They don't want to disrupt the status quo to build for their future, when in fact putting their attention on planning for the future ensures their happiness in the present.
Because no one else is going to take responsibility for Capricorn North Nodes' happiness and security, there is no escaping their destiny. The sooner they take charge, the easier it will be and the more nurtured they will feel. For example, I had a Capricorn North Node client whose money from her divorce settlement was almost gone. She had an opportunity to buy a successful pet grooming business with nothing down and an affordable payment schedule. She was good with animals and loved them, and she had the artistic ability to do the grooming. This opportunity was truly a gift of circumstance.
Immediately, rather than seeing the fortuitous nature of the opportunity, this client began creating emotionally charged concerns. Was it truly the "destiny" she was born for? Was it what she wanted to do with the rest of her life? Was it going to interfere with her community theater activities and her favorite morning class at the gym? She approached me with the question of whether she should accept this opportunity or, instead, sell her mortgage-free house to buy more time before deciding how to earn a living.
Once again, Capricorn North Node people are learning to focus on the reality of the future in a sensible way. Selling the house would only postpone a decision and leave this woman in a worse position. And because she would have to pay rent somewhere else, she would need even more income. However, if she rose to the occasion and accepted this business opportunity, she could easily provide for her future. It would require pouring her full concentration and energy into the business for the first year or two, but once it was established and operating smoothly, she could hire people to take over (and she could use her native talent to manage others). After two or three years, she would have more free time and the security of still living in a mortgage-free home, supporting herself with earnings from her own business.

SEEING THE LARGER PICTURE
When Capricorn North Node people focus on the goal they want to attain, they can easily create success. Thus, it is crucial for them to see the big picture—truly understand the larger goal—so they have confidence in playing their part. If they don't understand exactly how their part affects the total picture, they lose confidence.

A HIGHER POWER
To transform their needs for dependence into strength, these folks would do well to align themselves with a spiritual presence or Higher Power that they can depend on to take care of them. This will help them focus beyond their scattered emotional needs and retain a sense of being in control without being controlling. If these folks feel they aren't in control of a situation, they go nuts. For example, if they're driving and the traffic is slowing them down, they often overreact. Actually, it is valid for them to want to feel in control of their lives. However, as in the example, this is not always possible; they need to understand that they are ultimately in control of themselves, regardless of outer circumstances.
One way of doing this is by recognizing that a Higher Power is always in control and, thus, whatever is happening will ultimately work to their benefit. In the example, being delayed in traffic might mean they won't meet someone they would rather avoid! When they keep their eye on the bigger picture, it prevents them from feeling helpless. Then, when they are in a position in which they have no apparent control, they can say: "There's a reason for this," and just let it go.
Capricorn North Node people have a feeling that there is a job they were born to do, a "higher mission" that is part of their destiny. If they don't realize this life purpose, part of them feels deeply unfulfilled and guilty. That destiny is different for each of these folks, but inwardly they know which direction to take. It will always involve achieving a position of authority, accepting responsibility, representing an ideal, or demonstrating a truth that is more important than their personal lives.
They will know their mission because it is the natural pathway that opens before them. They may even pursue it for a while, feel wonderful about themselves and achieve remarkable success, and then abandon the path for one reason or another. Until they go back, pick up the pieces, and follow that sense of mission, they will feel restless. The issue of success or failure is far less important than making the commitment and actively pursuing the goal. These folks must rise above the temptation to get so bogged down and distracted that they accomplish nothing beyond meeting personal needs. When they exert themselves and put a social good above their personal desire to remain comfortable, they are filled with a sense of love and the feeling that "this is right." Then they know they are performing their mission.

ROLE MODELS
Capricorn North Node people love role models—they want to be like their ideal of someone else who has a good wit, "presence," a command of the language, or success in achieving a goal they admire. This can be positive for Capricorn North Nodes. When they have a role model to emulate, it helps them grow and everyone wins!
It works for these folks to emulate successful people. They can take courage from how the role model does things and learn how to succeed themselves, if they really pay attention. In past lives, they invalidated the authoritative part of themselves that took responsibility for guiding the ship. In the process of allowing others to be in charge lifetime after lifetime, their own capacity to take charge became weakened. But in this incarnation it is their job to direct the ship; like it or not, others are depending on them to do so. Every time they take responsibility, others appreciate and support them and all of life supports them as well. It's up to them to fill the role for which they were destined and, in the process, become a role model for others.
Capricorn North Node people tend to let others take credit for their work. Secretly, a part of them doesn't want to be publicly acknowledged as being responsible for the outcome—even if the outcome is successful. They're happy just to see their mission fulfilled; they aren't particularly motivated to get the credit. On a practical level, however, it's in their best interest to be willing to accept credit when they've earned it.
For one thing, public recognition is a healthy energy for them—it validates their self-esteem and acts as a barometer to show when they are on track and fulfilling a public need. Someone has to take credit for the success, and it might as well be these folks because the energy of acknowledgment is not an ego trip for them and does feed an area in their psyche that lacks energy.
Moreover, accepting recognition gives them more credibility as individuals who can create success in the projects they undertake. For example, if they organize co-workers to make a change that is good for the company, and accept recognition as the one who headed the project, their managerial talents will be validated and they may be promoted to positions where they can better use their abilities. Recognition is a key to opening up more opportunities to exercise their sense of public responsibility.

THE MANAGER
This is a lifetime in which the universe supports Capricorn North Node people taking public positions and pursuing professional goals. They do especially well when they are in charge, because they are excellent managers. They are most confident when they approach a situation from a position of authority; this applies to both their personal and professional lives.
Also, in the process of managing others, these folks learn how to better manage themselves. For that to occur, they need to manifest integrity and an absolute commitment to keeping their word. In order to stay in touch with their power, Capricorn North Node people must be on time, do what they say they are going to do, be honest with others, and always behave in a way that promotes self-respect. This will make their lives strong. They are not allowed to "get away with" childish or irresponsible behavior.
From past lives, these natives developed tremendous emotional sensitivity. When they take a moment to "tune in" to the emotional states of others, they accurately understand other people's needs and concerns and can speak to them in a way that rallies the necessary mental and emotional support to reach the goal. They do this automatically, although it is a gift that most other people do not possess. In this lifetime, they also have the gift of seeing the bigger picture and being aware of the correct path to follow in order to achieve goals. This is a new gift (not from past lives), which they must begin to exercise in order to recognize that they have it. These gifts make them highly successful as managers because they're managing and motivating with an awareness of how others are feeling and directing them with understanding:
Capricorn North Node people become upset when those in higher positions do not manage them—or others—well. Something within them deeply resents mismanagement from lack of knowledge and/or insensitivity, because they instinctively know how to manage in a way that inspires willing support without diminishing others. They can become very unhappy and critical. They tend to hover around taking responsibility, and they're filled with opinions about how things should be run. They come close to "stepping over the line" when someone else is in charge because they think they should "run the show"—and indeed they should! They are often afraid to take charge, and at the last minute they say: "Oh no, you do it, and I'll help you." When they hold back, they never really know if their ideas would work.
Because these folks do have a talent for humane and wise management, they have the responsibility to try to shift the way any mismanagement is handled when a lot of people are being affected. They need to apply for a promotion or otherwise do what they can to bring good management to the situation by sharing their knowledge in appropriate ways. For instance, if their feelings are hurt owing to insensitive management, they could communicate it in a responsible way: "You may not be aware of it, but it hurt me very much when . . ." and then let the manager know what can be done to make it right. "When you changed my title it hurt me very much. I respond better when I have a title that gives me a feeling of importance." By helping others to learn better management, they validate their own knowledge and satisfy their sense of mission.

SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES
Capricorn North Node people don't usually see the vision of what can be. They are generally good at whatever they are doing, they like the safety of it, and they're hard workers; but they are not accustomed to recognizing opportunities. It's important for them to seize opportunities in order to avoid regrets later in life.
When these folks allow themselves to become too limited in their own worlds, they can't envision possibilities for the future. They see other people taking risks and admire them for it, but they are reluctant to do the same because they are afraid of losing what they have. They must recognize that safety can lead to stagnation.
This is a lifetime for learning to take advantage of opportunities. They need to focus on one goal and then make a 100 percent commitment to reach it. The instant they make the commitment, they have the power to do it—and suddenly opportunities stream across their path. As they take each opportunity and complete it, they have taken one more step toward accomplishing their final goal. Each time they complete a step, the energy of success feeds them power and confidence to seize the next opportunity. They gain so much strength and competence from the path itself that by the time they reach their goal they are fully qualified—and centered inwardly—to be in that position.

RECOGNIZING OPPORTUNITIES
Owing to so many past lifetimes spent in family environments, it's natural that Capricorn North Node people think in a supportive way rather than an opportunistic way. They have a natural desire to help people, and this is why they attract people who need help. But they need to be open to the possibility that they could help the other person and help themselves at the same time, creating a win/win situation. In this incarnation they are learning to utilize the opportunities life brings to further their own position, prove their own competence, and personally get "on top."
For example, I had a Capricorn North Node friend who sold life insurance. One of his clients died. My friend was working with the widow, who now had a large business and didn't know what to do with it. Wanting to help out, my friend connected this woman with a business broker, and she received a lot of money and some very valuable stock from the deal. The broker asked my friend: "What do you want out of this?" He answered: "Well, I just want her to come out all right." He should have made a commission and gotten some stock, but these folks often miss opportunities that fall in their laps in just this way, and then regret it later.
They must be alert for unexpected opportunities, which are gifts life wants to bring them. If they miss the opportunity by virtue of their naïveté, someone else will point it out to them as the business broker did. Owing to their lack of past-life experience, Capricorn North Node people can't expect to always spot opportunities on their own—but they can listen to others. When someone asks them a question regarding personal gain for themselves, their best bet is to say: "Gosh, let me think about it, and I'll get back to you." They need to slow down and give themselves time to think it over.
Life and other people know, on a deep level, that these folks are not used to being in the world. So it's perfectly fine for them to check out what is fair by asking others who are already successful in the world. Better yet, they could say to the person who is pointing out the opportunity: "What do you think would be fair in this case? What would you do if you were in my position?"
Capricorn North Node people are highly active and tend to act without thinking. But restless, nondirected motion is counterproductive for them. They become so involved in doing that they don't stop to think about where their energy is—or is not—taking them, what the end result will be, or how it will affect other people. They must be more aware of the possible consequences of their actions and deliberately channel their energy in ways that will help them get on top of things. Since they are responsible for the results, it behooves them to take charge of the process to ensure that the results are in alignment with what they want.
For example, I had a client whose father was a Capricorn North Node person. She came from a very close family, and over the years her uncles and other relatives had given her father many opportunities to become wealthy. They brought him real estate deals, business partnerships, and investments. But her father stood firm: "No, I'm a working man; I don't invest." So he never bought his own home or invested for his future or the future of his family. He took care of day-to-day responsibilities, working long hours six days a week, but never took the initiative to be responsible in a future-oriented, sensible way.
Today my client's uncles and cousins are all wealthy, but her father is running out of money in his retirement and doesn't understand how he got into this situation. He just kept putting one foot in front of the other, going along in his comfort zone. Subconsciously, he was thinking that someone else would take responsibility, which equals "how to lose" for Capricorn North Node people.
These folks often get "stuck" in a conservative position as a way to avoid "upsetting the apple cart" or risking emotional responses from others. Also, by supporting the established way of doing things, they are less likely to have to take a stand. Until they understand that this is a lifetime of accepting opportunities, they don't want to take risks. They are afraid of losing the day-to-day security of their stable life and of taking responsibility for change.
I had a client with this nodal position who ran a small franchise business and rented an office in a large building. He was approached by the owner of the building with the opportunity to purchase it for a good price. My client didn't take it because he didn't have the money. He might have found a way to do it, but he didn't see the opportunity. His first thought was: "Why would I want the burden of owning an office when I can rent it?" The property later sold for such a high price that my client would rather not even have known about it!
In becoming goal oriented, these folks are learning how to use every "obstacle" to their advantage, so that everything becomes a stepping-stone for reaching their goal. As factors they didn't anticipate arise to distract them, they are learning to see the larger picture and regard everything as an opportunity they can use to their advantage, rather than becoming emotion-ally overwhelmed.
For example, if the Capricorn North Node is training for a marathon and strains a calf muscle so he can't run for a few weeks, he should use the time to develop his upper-body strength. If success is in his mind, he can accept everything that happens and use it to his advantage. The sense of self-sufficiency gained through this process will be enormous, as these natives recognize that all along they had the qualities they needed to manifest their dreams.

CONVERTING EMOTIONAL ENERGY INTO POWER
Owing to many past incarnations immersed in family life and focused on feelings, in this lifetime Capricorn North Node people are born with direct access to raw emotion. The only problem is that they're stuck in the middle of it! Emotion is an incredible power, and they are learning how to direct it in a positive way.
The irony is that these folks always seem to think they lack the positive qualities inherent in the negative emotion they are holding. For example, those who have a lot of pent-up anger generally feel lacking in assertiveness, initiative, courage, and independence—aspects of the positive side of the raw emotional energy whose negative expression is anger. By consciously directing this energy into a take-charge attitude, it will naturally be discharged in a constructive direction—working for them rather than against them.
Interestingly, in astrology the same planet that rules initiative, courage, assertiveness, and independence—Mars—also rules anger. To get the angry energy out in a positive form, Capricorn North Node people must take charge, assert themselves, and take the initiative in all areas of their lives.
For example, I had a client with this nodal position who went out of her way to take a friend to a big clothing sale. They arranged to go at 1:00 in the afternoon. My client was free until 6:30, when she had another appointment. However, her friend arrived late, took an inordinate amount of time at the sale, and insisted on "primping" in the bathroom before going home. My client became more and more angry as she watched the time slipping away. She mentioned to her friend that she had a 6:30 appointment, but the friend didn't seem to care. In the end, my client was late for her appointment and felt angry and frustrated throughout the rest of the evening.
How could she have converted the angry energy into initiative? She could have taken charge at the very beginning and said: "We have to be done shopping by 5:00." By stating the goal at the very beginning, these folks can bypass getting angry when they don't get their way. When their motive is pure—they want to help—they need to let others know in advance what the parameters are: "I'll help you with this, and I need to be done at this time. Does that work for you?" There will be awareness and agreement about what is going on—and they will have converted anger into executive energy.

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posted February 24, 2006 06:20 AM              

I've read the first instalment with rapt interest. Everything described is so "me".

I will come back and read your latest post this evening. Looking forward to it.

I am going to practice being in control of my life while I'm out and about today.

Thank you ever so much. You're brilliant.

posted February 24, 2006 10:41 AM              

You are great. I have Aqua NN, but having Cap Sun and in the 4th hs, lot of it resonated anyway. Thank you for posting it.

Aen

posted February 24, 2006 01:54 PM            

Where's your mom's NN?? Perhaps there's something in there about "unreasonable expectations for the scion"

From my perspective in relating this to my behavior, I always thought the reluctance about confrontation was a Sun/Venus in Libra-pacifist-thing. This interp really filled in a gap for me.

It was really self-affirming to read that basically I'm on the right track, on my way to learning/living the difference between "controlling" and "managing". And again, I thought this was a Libran attribute, with overtones of Cardinal energy.

And in what I now understand is typical Cap NN fashion, I always thought that when I was rejected by other people for whatever reason, it was something I did *wrong*. Imagine that -- it's not always about ME!!!

This book is a real eye-opener!!

posted February 24, 2006 02:28 PM            

The only person in my family whom I can even guesstimate the time for is my little sister who was born Easter Sunday while I was at church. That's the whole reason it stands out in my mind. Still not sure of what time of morning, though.

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I never had a clue where my aversion to confrontation came from, but it can be severe, and I hate not being able to manage those emotions that go along with wanting to confront someone. I'm definitely going to have to really consider and absorb that idea of 'managing' versus 'controlling.'

posted February 24, 2006 02:40 PM            

Using noon and Oakland for your mom, I came up with NN at 29Pis25. An 11-hour swing either way doesn't make any difference (I tried it) -- she's still NN 29 Pisces (hmmmm, anaretic degree, the "degree of fate").....I'll be text-rec'ing and posting the Pisces one for a Pixie-pal soon, so keep an eye out

I *totally* get where you're coming from with the lying-awake-in-bed-at-night-second-guessing-your-decisions thing. But we can only let it go and get our beauty sleep if we covered all the bases and made the best decision we could, and you did in your vendor example. Let the chips fall where they may!!

posted February 24, 2006 03:42 PM              

quote:

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Capricorn North Node people are very emotional. They cry at movies and at sad stories; their feelings are very present and available to them. These folks can be so overrun by their emotions that they can't think, they can't function, and they don't know why. This can happen when they are faced with personal loss or in professional situations involving confrontation or performance; they can't seem to control it—it simply escalates.

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OMG! Finally, I make sense to me! Thanks so much Zala for doing all this! It's clearly helped so many of us, and I for one don't mind admitting that there are tears pouring down my face as I type this, (see earlier EMOTIONAL chapter ) mostly because of the realisation that all this wonderfully insightful information brings to those of us with this placement; we CAN do it! We can rely on ourselves, we can do what we want to do with our lives, and we can take back our own power in every area of our lives and be happy just to be ourselves.

I recognise that need for family and intimacy so keenly; but now I realise that I'm my family - if I had no one else in the world I'd still have me and that's enough. We must never rely on or make someone else responsible for our happiness, our success or our security. It's too much to expect of another human being and a lack of expectation of ourselves. I shall hereforth stand on my own two somewhat shaky feet, (being as they're not used to such hot-headed displays of self-control! ) and get out into that there world and do what I want to do!

posted February 24, 2006 04:02 PM            

My parents and younger siblings are in Tennessee (they moved there the week I graduated high school). My older sister and her family are where I was born and raised, Orange County, CA.