posted February 01, 2006 01:49 PM              

You asked:

quote:

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...I would love some input about his 12th house placements, and his inability to express himself about anything relating to him personally.

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The 12th house is ruled by Neptune, which has to do with the "spiritual". Neptune "spirituality" is achieved by "dissolving" everything it touches. So the Neptune dissolves the barriers between yourself and others: so you are never sure if it is YOU who is doing something or if it is the OTHER PERSON who is doing something. The result is energy (planets) in the 12th house (ruled by Neptune) become VERY sensitive because they channel through them all the energy around them in addition to all the energy of the person themselves.

So, it could be, for your husband, very few things are "personal". A LOT of things are both his AND everyone else's...the normal barrier of "his" and "other people's" simply don't exist for him in some things (indicated by the types of planets in the 12th house).

Of course, seeing the chart would help in understanding better how this works. If you post birth data in the format:
Month Day, Year
XX:XX AM or PM
City County/Province Country/State

people on Lindaland could create the charts themselves. Alternatively, create your astrological chart at Astrodienst (http://www.astro.com) and post it at photobucket (http://photobucket.com).

Spiritually dissolving,

Tim

posted February 01, 2006 02:30 PM              

Thanks for the complement and the info! Since we are talking about "spiritual" issues, let's first look for Neptune. In your husband's chart he has:
Neptune (spirituality, also confusion) conjunct (energy is combined with) Descendant (others), indicating that your husband tends to "blend" with other people.

As a result he may identify more with other people (i.e., feel closer to) than with himself! This is because the Neptune dissolving STRONGLY connects him into others. However, since he has more planets focused on the left of his chart, he tends to FOCUS on himself, despite his strong connection to others. This can cause a confusing split on "Who to focus on: me or them?"

We also see that he has:
Neptune opposite (energy is over-excited by) Mercury (thinking), indicating that the Neptunian confusion is stimulated by thinking AND that thinking stimulates the Neptunian confusion.

Furthermore he has:
Mercury conjunct Ascendant (self), indicating that the confusion affects him personally.

So much for Neptune challenges...on to the 12th house! He has:
Sun (self-expression) conjunct Moon (home, also emotions) focused in the 12th house (spirituality), indicating that his ability to emotionally express himself is "dissolved" by the self-expressions and emotions of others.

People with a LOT of Neptune energy and 12th house focus, such as your husband have a LOT of energy flowing through them: theirs and...everyone who is near them! As a result, it is VERY common for these super-sensitive people to take "time outs" from the world and simply retreat from the everyday energies so they can be by themselves and get SOME sort of sense of what "themselves" is! So your husband may be able to be "personal" but most likely that is when there is no one around to witness it! That's OK...that's normal for this sort of Neptunian situation.

You mention needing to "deal with this in the right way, without hurting his feelings, or making it worse". Perhaps the best way to "deal with it" is to let it alone! Unless his interest in others is becoming an issue in your marraige or he himself has some problems with the way he expresses himself, let him connect into people and the world around him in his own way. That way may not be easily visible and apparent to others, but it IS deep and intense...and important to his spiritual growth.

Spiritually,

posted February 01, 2006 02:48 PM              

Are you concerned that he isn't assertive enough? (i have this problem with my Mars in 12th)

According to Robert Hand - and referring to what Tim was saying - a good way of freeing up the energies that sometimes fester in the 12th for want of expression is to turn them outwards towards other people. 'Give your 12th house away', as he says (at least i *think* he says that , but my memory's a bit crap!)

At any rate, it certainly works for me to take up a fight on behalf of some other people - maybe if he's not already involved in some manner of caring profession with all that stuff in twelfth, doing something along those lines, where he's called to fight the good fight on behalf of other people, might coax some more assertiveness out of him, and relieve any tension.

Another good way is to make him realise (if he doesn't already) that anger can be expressed diplomatically. If he's anything like me the thought of making a scene over anything makes him wince inwardly.. but i bet he regularly has all manner of crises behind closed doors, and maybe about the most unexpected things too..?

Gently encouraging him to chat about things might be the way forward.

Regular Purgings! That's what 12th -house types need

posted February 01, 2006 06:30 PM              

quote:

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Thanks for the complement and the info!

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posted February 02, 2006 12:28 AM              

Some say that my Virgo analysis and precision was dissolved the moment I went into astrology!

Fully dissolved,

Tim

posted February 02, 2006 12:39 AM              

You said:

quote:

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i worry that our mercury placements hinder our communication, this is the only area where we differ. we take what each other says in the wrong way alot.

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You have a couple of things which make communication a challenge between you:

His Mercury (thinking, also talking) opposite (energy is over-excited by) your Mercury, this indicates you tend to take opposite sides in things and have difficulty seeing the other person's point

Your Saturn (duty, also restriction, authority) conjunct (energy is combined with) his Ascendant (self), so he may feel personally restricted by your authority

Your Saturn conjunct his Mercury, indicating you may restrict his talking in some way

This indicates that your well-meaning attempts to help him communicate will most likely be taken as an attempt to restrict what he has to say. As mentioned previously, it is best to let him communicate the way he does and try to understand him the way he is, not as the way it seems to you he SHOULD be.

Suggesting mutual acceptance of communication styles,

Tim