posted March 13, 2006 12:03 AM            

I've been going through an awful period in my life for the past couple of years. I just turned 29 in January, so I guess I must be experiencing my Saturn Return. 2004 was a terrible year for me - I married someone I was not in love with; it was a decision made with the head, one I've regretted ever since. I did this, despite the fact that I was in love with a sweet & sensitive Pisces guy (and have been for the past 5 years). It's a long awful story on why all that happened...

Anyhow, once I made that huge mistake & realized that I can't live without my Pisces, I decided I had to do something about it. I was a graduate student at the time, close to finishing my degree. However, my advisor who's always been at cross-purposes with me, put a huge obstacle in my path, which made me re-think finishing the degree with him; simply put, if I continue with him, there's a good chance it may never happen. I started hunting for a job in the hopes of finding some way to support myself so I can end the marriage. I've never had trouble finding jobs before, so I was sure I'd be able to get one. However, it seems that the planets are against me there too. I've been looking for about 6-7 months now, with no luck. I'm getting desperate...

My parents have offered to have me stay with them if I need to, but I don't want to take them up on it. I'm a grown woman, and if i live with them after i leave my husband, I'll have to subject myself to their constant interference (something I've dealt with all my life). While they keep saying they'll support whatever decision I make, they really don't want me to divorce my husband as they're sure that the marriage will work out if only I give it some time (based on a couple astrologers' readings that the planetary effects will wear off by Jan. 2007). I've had trouble in the past with my mother, with my need to constantly try to please her to my detriment, and this time around, I've decided that I'm going to do whatever I have to, to break free of that. I'm hunting desperately for jobs so I can do this on my own.

So, I'm stuck in a marriage that's been dead since it began, and have no means of getting out of it, at least not yet. It is so hard to have to stay here day after day, not knowing if and when I'll ever get out of it, it's almost unbearable some days. As for my Pisces, I don't have much contact with him, but for an occasional touch-base email about nothing of consequence, once every couple months or so. He was my best friend I've ever had, and I miss him so much it hurts me almost physically to be separated from him.

In the midst of this chaos in my life, I don't feel like I know who I am any more. The thing is, for most of my life, I've had something to do, and now I'm unoccupied (no longer a student but not working either, not wanting to be my parents' little girl any more, and not wanting to be a wife any longer). It's a huge identity crisis, the likes of which I've never experienced before, so it's very unsettling for me, being a Capricorn who's used to having everything in her life in order. A huge source of pain for me is that I can't even have the support of the one who is dearest to me, the one person in my life I felt like I could turn to, who always let me be me, my Pisces love. It just wouldn't be right to expect him to help me with this,
not until I get out.

I'm fighting hard to keep faith & not give up hope. Is this all due to my Saturn Return? I didn't realize it pretty much rocks your very foundation, or is this just my experience? When does this Return period end? I've heard it lasts from ages 28-30. Do I really have a whole year more of this to live through? Is there any way of getting through this without losing your sanity?

posted March 13, 2006 01:07 AM            

Its not so much your Saturn return as it was transiting Saturn opposing your Capricorn Sun (last year) This is a low point in the cycle of life.

posted March 13, 2006 01:22 AM            

I would just suggest you reconsider
reaching out honestly to the Pisces,
and telling him how you feel.

Water signs are different from most...
They can really thrive on being needed.
And Pisceans, especially,
are often waiting to be handed an engraved
invitation to serve a purpose.

Warmest Wishes to you,
and lots of luck with the job search,

posted March 13, 2006 02:14 AM            

I followed your thread in SU last year and I've been wondering if you were ever able to make a break from the Scorpio and return to your Pisces.....

Please read the Eclipse threads here -- do you have any planets between 23-25 Virgo, Sag, Pisces, Gem?? Big changes may be in store for you on Tuesday March 14th!

I've been rooting for the Pisces guy since the beginning!! I hope your job search is successful soon.....

posted March 13, 2006 08:36 AM              

I had the saturn opp sun last year too... made a BIG DUMB mistake right afterward that won't be forgotten for many years to come.

Don't worry if you haven't been able to find a job so far. Just imagine yourself far away from your current situation with a good job and your Pisces sweetheart for a minute. Once you start believing it's possible it'll start happening.

I wish you the best of luck with overcoming this. Meanwhile, whatever positive transits you are coming up in the near future will offset the saturn one in a matter of months at the most.

posted March 14, 2006 08:00 PM            

I'll post my chart here in a bit, and would love your opinion, if you get a chance!!

*edited* Here's my chart:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Capricorn 27°40'59 02 direct
Moon Capricorn 05°11'26 01/2 direct
Moon is technically near the end of house 1 and is interpreted in house 2.
Mercury Capricorn 07°07'15 02 stationary (D)
Venus Pisces 14°33'13 04 direct
Mars Capricorn 12°42'28 02 direct
Jupiter Taurus 21°11'02 06 stationary (D)
Saturn Leo 14°40'39 09 retrograde
Uranus Scorpio 11°25'49 12 direct
Neptune Sagittarius 15°12'03 01 direct
Pluto Libra 14°11'24 11 stationary (R)
True Node Libra 29°12'49 11 retrograde
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Sagittarius 07°37'32
2nd House Capricorn 06°21'34
3rd House Aquarius 06°17'35
Imum Coeli Pisces 08°09'24
5th House Aries 10°24'34
6th House Taurus 10°26'15
Descendant Gemini 07°37'32
8th House Cancer 06°21'34
9th House Leo 06°17'35
Medium Coeli Virgo 08°09'24
11th House Libra 10°24'34
12th House Scorpio 10°26'15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Major aspects
Sun Trine Jupiter 6°30
Moon Conjunction Mercury 1°56
Moon Conjunction Mars 7°31
Moon Sextile Uranus 6°14
Mercury Conjunction Mars 5°35
Mercury Sextile Uranus 4°19
Venus Sextile Mars 1°51
Venus Quincunx Saturn 0°07
Venus Trine Uranus 3°07
Venus Square Neptune 0°39
Venus Quincunx Pluto 0°22
Mars Quincunx Saturn 1°58
Mars Sextile Uranus 1°17
Mars Square Pluto 1°29
Saturn Square Uranus 3°15
Saturn Trine Neptune 0°31
Saturn Sextile Pluto 0°29
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1°01
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

posted March 14, 2006 08:26 PM            

The Pisces had told me last year though, that it was getting too hard for him to think of me being here with another guy , and he said he'd rather we "find" each other once I get out (it would feel more 'right' that way), so I've hesitated to contact him since then. But this is too much for me to deal with alone... I need him so badly.

I'm actually going to get a chance to see him this Friday; it's a meeting I'm attending that he'll most likely be at. I'm hoping that it will spark something, that he'll at least be my friend again...

posted March 14, 2006 10:04 PM            

Speaking of jobs, I was amazed to see that the lunar eclipse/full moon tonight is in my 10th house, just past the MC! Though, I don't have any planets at those degrees you mentioned. Could this be significant that the eclipse is happening right in the middle of my 10th house? Oh, i really hope so!!

posted March 14, 2006 10:12 PM            

So, you made a big mistake too (damn saturn opp sun!)... were you able to fix it later on? Do you think it was partly the effects of that aspect, that led you to it? I mean, I honestly can't believe sometimes that I made the mistake I did - for some reason at the time, I thought marrying was the easy way out; it was like I was possessed by stupidity, or blinded in some way. If i only knew then what I do now...

posted March 15, 2006 07:31 PM              

my mother passed after a long fight with cancer, (the last of my family)my love life turned upsidedown, i relocated, lost a bunch of friends, made new friends that turned out to not be so great, etc, etc... just a crazy time!!!

hang on tight and ride it out... you'll be ok. but it's tough.

------------------
libra sun/ pisces moon/ aries rising

my chart: http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?nhor=2&nho2=2&btyp=24&mth=gw&hsy=&zod=&sday=14&smon=3&syr=2006&rs=&orbp=&cid=gc8filewKxdJv-u1054681426&lang=e&gm=a1&ast=