posted April 19, 2006 03:00 AM              

I have recently learned I am pregnant, however the circumstances are unusual. I am wondering if my Chart, or the father's Chart might highlight any issues I need to consider in making my decision about keeping this child. Everyone I have spoken to has strongly recommended I have an abortion, and whilst I understand their views it is not a decision I can make lightly

I have known the father since birth, we even shared a nursery for a short time. However, our once loving and intense relationship has been all but destroyed by his controlling and violent behaviour, which I believe is a nasty but sad by-product of his life history and mental illness. I believe every child has the right to know its parents, but am concerned for both my own and the child's safety not only know but in the future also.

My birth data:

31 May 1971 at 11:00am in Melbourne, Australia.

His birth data:

25 March 1970 at 1:00pm in Adelaide, Australia.

The child was conceived in the first week of March 2006.

Any astrological insight would be much appreciated.

Ditto

posted April 19, 2006 08:53 PM            

I saw your post last night and I was a little overwhelmed by the gravity of it and didn't feel comfortable responding. I wanted to wish you light and love and all positive blessings because I really feel for someone in your predicament. However, I don't feel that an astrology reading is appropriate when my personal judgment from the information you provided is that this man is a danger to you, he's mentally unstable, violent... you need to protect yourself and your baby.

I'm not saying your child should have no contact or not know his father at all, but you should be very careful if you decide to allow your child to have access to him.

I did look at your synastry and I saw that his Pluto is square your ascendant in a very tight orb... this is a difficult aspect because Pluto is transformative, it can be destructive and in this way, his powerful Pluto energy is at odds with your Ascendant which is the very basis of your being.

You also have his Mars square your Venus so I can see how hopelessly attracted you are to one another, but please... astrology is not the answer to this problem. If a man threatens you with violence, especially with a child at stake... all bets are off.

Please take care of yourself and your child. Your child is the number one priority. Don't expose that innocent little person to someone that can cause him/her harm... it's not worth it. All the best.

posted April 19, 2006 08:59 PM            

and I also send love and light.

You'll know what to do.
Try not to listen too much to others..even if they are your friends..... after all, at the end of the day, it is you who shapes your life's path.

posted April 19, 2006 11:50 PM              

Thank you for your love and light and words of wisdom. It is true and my principal concern is for the safety and wellbeing of myself, my child and all those I love around me.

I also appreciate your comments regarding our difficult aspects, especially how his Pluto impacts my Ascendant, and would like to explore this further.

I have done what learning I can do over the past few months regarding Astrology, but as you all know, its not so simple - and when under pressure...

An astrologer told him 18 months ago, before he relocated to my home town, that he would meet a woman here and she would be with him for the rest of his life. He believes that person is me. I'd love an alternative interpretation.

One thing that has helped me push through the 'garbage' he has brought into my life, has been an unexplainable feeling that we are destined to play a role in each other's lives. My role to him somehow being the Healer that will enable him to get the help he needs ??

I know the violence is unacceptable, and that i will not be free until healing happens, we are already bound by family.

posted April 20, 2006 12:43 AM              

I can imagine what you are going through right now. There is no easy answer - both decisions will change your life forever. I think psychics and astrology can be great tools, and friends can offer their loving opinions, but PixelPixie is right when she said that you must choose what you wish your life path to be. Only you can do that, and only you have to live with your decision.

I can tell you, that I have been through this myself, and I opted not to keep the child. It was the right decision in many ways, but my heart still hurts and I never stopped loving that little soul. It was the hardest thing I ever did, every part of my being wanted to run away, and I know I could not do it over again. My mind knows I did the right thing, but my heart still wonders sometimes... with that said, I know women who made the same choice and felt an undeniable sense of peace and relief, knowing it was not the right time to be a mother.

I wish there was an easy answer. I think your heart and soul will tell you what the right thing to do is if you listen closely. The answer is within you.

Peace & Blessings,
Scarlett

posted April 20, 2006 01:04 AM              

You said:

quote:

---

An astrologer told him 18 months ago, before he relocated to my home town, that he would meet a woman here and she would be with him for the rest of his life. He believes that person is me. I'd love an alternative interpretation.

---

This is the problem with predictive astrology. In order for it to work so "nicely and neatly" everyone has to agree to do whatever works best with the energies of the person whose chart is being done. And the world doesn't work that way!

YOU have a lot to say as to whether or not you will be with him "the rest of his life". Perhaps your role is to wake him up to knowing that relationships aren't "predicted"...they are worked on by BOTH people in the relationships. And if he can't do that...he can't have a relationship.

Relating,

posted April 20, 2006 02:23 AM            

Maybe your role in healing him is by forcing him to face his demons. Maybe by your stating that this is unacceptable to you and he cannot be a part of your life as long as he behaves in a violent, threatening manner, will force him to seek help and become a better person that you can let into your life and that of your child.

posted April 20, 2006 04:08 AM              

But I felt he was my miracle baby, meant to be, as the father was told he couldn't have children. My instinct was to keep him despite all the hard circumstances. (I say he as I knew he was a he before he came.)

And so Conor was born 9/1/1991 weighing 9lbs9oz (how about that for 9's!!!) And he was a joy. The father never ever bothered with him, hasn't been interested to this day. But nevertheless Conor thrived. Now I have a great hubby, another daughter and Conor is 15. He's destined for great things, I feel, and my choice was right. (Lexigraming his name comes up with HE CHOSEN ONE.)

I am not saying you should keep your baby Ditto, not at all, that's for you to decide. I am saying LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCT! There is no right or wrong. My instinct gave me the right answer. Follow your instinct and therein lies the truth.

Lots of love to you, let us know how it all goes

posted April 20, 2006 04:27 AM            

Your emotional styles are compatible, allowing you both to feel you can be yourselves. Even the
way you experience "down time" is in harmony, so you can rejuvenate in each other's presence.
You speak the same emotional language and likely feel that you "get" each other at a deep level.

Ditto's Mars square MARCH25's Mars:

This is one of the red flags to watch out for in comparing charts. Your energies tend to conflict,
particularly if either of you attempts to correct the other's actions. This is a passionate aspect,
which is wonderful in certain arenas, but can also lead to passionate arguments. You can only be at
ease with each other to the degree that you can accept the differences in how you both go about
doing things. Otherwise, there tends to be conflict over everything. Learning to avoid expressing
yourself to each other when your solar plexus is tight would help immensely. When your solar
plexus is tight, your partner hears whatever you are saying as a punch. Harness the power, and
great things can be accomplished with your combined energy; otherwise, petty arguments and
disagreements rule the day.

Ditto's Chiron conjunct MARCH25's Chiron:

You are naturally empathic toward each other's deep sensitivities and support each other's efforts
toward healing.

MARCH25's Sun conjunct Ditto's Chiron:

It is likely that you will come into each other's lives at a time when you are both recovering from a
wounding experience. Your relationship heals these wounds for each other. After this initial healing,
you may find a common interest in alternative healing and spiritual paths.

Ditto's Sun trine MARCH25's Uranus:

You encourage and support each other's uniqueness and individuality and put very few restraints
and expectations on each other. This allows your relationship to continue to grow and evolve.

MARCH25's Sun trine Ditto's Jupiter:

You encourage a positive outlook on life together and there is no end to the number of
growth-oriented activities that you could enjoy together. You both feel confident that it is safe to
trust each other. Shared experiences with travel, education, and philosophical pursuits are favored.

MARCH25's Sun trine Ditto's Neptune:

There is a natural intuitive flow between the two of you that is quite comfortable. You can be
drawn to understand the subtle realms together through meditation and spiritual practices. You
empower each other's faith in listening to the "still quiet voice within."

MARCH25's Sun trine Ditto's Ascendant:

You enjoy and support each other's outlook on life, making it enjoyable to spend time together.
Your personalities mix well.

Ditto's Sun sextile MARCH25's Mercury:

Communication and a natural understanding of each other are favored. You "get" each other and
readily resolve the natural conflicts that arise in relationships. You stimulate each other's mental
activity and readily learn from each other.

Ditto's Sun sextile MARCH25's Chiron:

You have natural empathy and support for each other's wounds, and in this gentleness, there is a
healing.

Ditto's Sun opposition MARCH25's Neptune:

It is not likely that you see each other clearly. Neptune is the blind spot, and when challenging the
Sun, you can lead each other into illusions. MARCH25 sees qualities that may, or may not, be in
Ditto. Ditto can look at MARCH25 as being totally ungrounded in reality.

MARCH25's Sun opposition Ditto's Uranus:

This tie creates a strong fascination, but is considered unstable. Your wills can clash over the
slightest of issues, as you both absolutely resist either of your attempts to take charge in the
relationship. The relationship requires a great deal of freedom to make room for this aspect.

MARCH25's Sun opposition Ditto's Pluto:

Power struggles are likely to erupt unless both of you stay vigilant for any attempts by the other to
control the relationship in any way. MARCH25 can feel that Ditto is always pulling strings trying to
get something. Ditto can feel as if MARCH25 is always challenging Ditto's authority.

Ditto's Sun square MARCH25's North Node:

The relationship goes through periods where growth seems to be stalled and you pull each other
into past patterns. Are you going to support each other's growth, or hold each other to the past?

Ditto's Moon sextile MARCH25's Ascendant:

You feel at ease and comfortable in each other's presence. This relaxed flow between the two of
you allows you to spend considerable time with each other.

Ditto's Moon square MARCH25's Neptune:

It is not likely that you see each other clearly. You can imagine qualities in each other that don't
exist, or pull each other into escapist behavior, or feed each other's fears. Absolute honesty,
including avoiding "dishonesty by omission," is required for a healthy relationship.

MARCH25's Moon square Ditto's Ascendant:

Misunderstandings often arise when MARCH25's emotional needs are expressed in a way that
irritates Ditto. Your relationship benefits from spending a little time apart in the daily schedule to
avoid getting on each other's nerves.

Ditto's Mercury conjunct MARCH25's Mars:

This aspect leads to passionate, intense communication between the two of you that can also be
volatile if not directed wisely. MARCH25 motivates Ditto to act on ideas, and Ditto brings ideas
and information to MARCH25's activities. All of this is favorable when it leads to action. The
trigger for volatility is that MARCH25 can seem intimidating, overbearing, and even hostile to Ditto
unless MARCH25 is able to exercise restraint when Ditto is giving signals of being overwhelmed.

MARCH25's Mercury conjunct Ditto's Chiron:

You support each other's interests in alternative healing, and provide each other with insights into
the significance of your past wounds.

MARCH25's Mercury trine Ditto's Jupiter:

This aspect is very favorable for communication and mutual interests in continued learning. Ditto's
philosophical outlook on life is expansive and uplifting to MARCH25. MARCH25 engages Ditto's
philosophical beliefs and helps plan movement toward goals.

MARCH25's Mercury trine Ditto's Neptune:

You have a highly intuitive rapport with each other. This supports your communication, allowing
you get the subtle nuances. You help each other rise above petty issues and can encourage each
other's interests in spirituality and the arts.

MARCH25's Mercury trine Ditto's Ascendant:

You have a natural understanding of each other and feel free to express yourselves to each other,
knowing you will be understood.

MARCH25's Mercury opposition Ditto's Uranus:

A tension exists in your communications with each other. Ditto wants MARCH25 to change the
way MARCH25 thinks about something in a way that is inconceivable to MARCH25.
MARCH25 can feel Ditto is a disruptive, unruly influence, and Ditto can view MARCH25 as
narrow-minded and stuck in conventional thinking.

Ditto's Venus conjunct MARCH25's Mars:

Strong sexual attraction is always present with this "cosmic glue" combination. Even when you're
upset with each other emotionally or mentally, your bodies would just as soon be hugging. The only
danger of this tie is taking this magnetism for granted and failing to cultivate the ongoing courtship
required to sustain the initial spark.

Ditto's Venus conjunct MARCH25's Saturn:

The best of this aspect is a serious, commitment-based relationship with a strong sense of
responsibility for each other. The worst of it is if Ditto feels disapproval from MARCH25, making
the flow of love difficult. When at odds with each other, Ditto can feel MARCH25 is an oppressive
responsibility more than a joyful companion, and MARCH25 can view Ditto as undisciplined and
indulgent, and needing to learn restraint.

MARCH25's Venus conjunct Ditto's Chiron:

Your values, appreciation for beauty, and capacity to receive love are fertile ground for healing for
Ditto. The activities that you enjoy together naturally lead to soul growth for both of you. You can
be drawn to the arts and creative expression as a method for healing.

MARCH25's Venus sextile Ditto's North Node:

Your values and tastes are in harmony with one another, and you are naturally attracted to activities
that lead to mutual soul growth.

Ditto's Mars trine MARCH25's Uranus:

You encourage each other's independence and have marvelous improvisational skills together. In
romance, you take delight in each other's exploratory and innovative sexual style.

Ditto's Mars square MARCH25's Saturn:

The potential for angry flare-ups is strong. Ditto feels pressured and disapproved of by
MARCH25, fueling anger and resentment. MARCH25 feels Ditto is purposefully trying to be a
source of aggravation and irritation. To avoid the defensive reactions that are sure to be there
otherwise, it is essential to avoid correcting each other's behavior.

MARCH25's Mars square Ditto's North Node:

MARCH25's choices of activities are often off track for the path of soul growth for Ditto. You
would be advised to allow space in your relationship for your separate interests.

Ditto's Jupiter conjunct MARCH25's Neptune:

The best of this aspect can lead to providing each other with spiritual insights and bursts of pure
inspired creativity. The danger is looking at the world through rose-colored glasses, which is
always pleasant enough in the moment; but avoidance, denial, and escapism are also possible with
this combination.

Ditto's Jupiter trine MARCH25's Chiron:

You learn from your relationship how important a person's philosophy and beliefs are in terms of
the creating and healing of wounds. Through this firsthand experience, you may be drawn to
teaching others how to liberate their relationships by changing their beliefs.

MARCH25's Jupiter square Ditto's Ascendant:

Many disagreements can erupt because your basic beliefs about so many life issues are at odds
with each other. These arguments aren't so hot as to be threatening, with Jupiter involved, but Ditto
can experience MARCH25 's beliefs about education, religion, and politics to be way off base.

Ditto's Saturn trine MARCH25's Pluto:

You give each other strength and support for tackling large projects, and the two of you together
are very effective when dealing with administrative authority. You can count on each other during
crunch time, when your back is against the wall.

Ditto's Saturn opposition MARCH25's Neptune:

You tend to feed each other's doubts and fears, eroding each other's strength. When a cycle of
doubt comes over the two of you, it feeds on itself, and soon everything can look bad. This misuse
of the imagination needs to be addressed as if it were a test. Discipline needs to be developed to
block these negative wanderings of the imagination.

Ditto's Uranus opposition MARCH25's Chiron:

Here, we have two rebels with two different causes. An example would be two people who both
rebelled against traditional health care and found their own, but different, alternative paths. Until
you can honor these differences, the tendency to look at each other's path as eccentric at best, and
as having little merit, will certainly be felt as challenging.

MARCH25's Neptune trine Ditto's Ascendant:

This is a favorable aspect that allows MARCH25 to help Ditto rise above petty issues, and Ditto
to help MARCH25 follow spiritual and creative vision. Involvements in the arts and spiritual
activity together are highly favored.

Ditto's Neptune trine MARCH25's Chiron:

You two have an intuitive awareness of the role of imagination in healing. You can work with each
other in the subtlest realms of spiritual and vibrational healing. You intuitively understand the power
of prayer in healing work with each other.

MARCH25's Neptune sextile Ditto's Pluto:

Your interactions with each other invariably help you both rise above the petty, lower currents of
reality. If you attempt to meditate together, you will feel as if you are being lifted up on unseen
wings.

MARCH25's Pluto sextile Ditto's Ascendant:

You support the deepest type of spiritual transformation in each other and can be a source of
hidden strength for each other.

Ditto's Pluto square MARCH25's Ascendant:

MARCH25 can feel intimidated by Ditto because of something that neither of you is conscious of.
This makes it difficult to have a relationship until trust is established. You see each other's
idiosyncrasies and subconscious behavior patterns. It takes great sensitivity of delivery to discuss
such issues without arousing your partner's defenses.

posted April 21, 2006 03:29 AM              

We have had long discussions, and if I could believe in him now, it would seem that now he is prepared to let me be the person I am, and to take the hard steps to our Healing together. He, for the first time, acknowledges he has behaved wrongly - explaining (not excusing) how he has protected himself against his own pain by lashing out at others.

He is convinced that our child is female and that he wants to play a significant and positive role in her life. He grieves that I may abort his/our daughter.

All of this as the tears roll down his face and my heart breaks, because I just dont know.

Loulou, my instincts are confused, but thank you so much for your positive story. We two are the only ones thinking this child may have a life. All of our parents believe this child will destroy our families.

I appreciate shop22much response, the full of extent of this will take some time for digesting (a much needed meditative long weekend beckons).