posted May 03, 2006 05:16 PM            

It is well known that men and women use a wide variety of gestures while paying court to somebody. Most gestures are used unknowingly. The success of the relationship depends on your ability to give certain signals and perceive the ones that are being sent to you.

Raised eyebrows. When we see a person that we consider attractive, we begin raising and lowering our eyebrows. If the person also feels drawn to you, his eyebrows will also start going up and down. This gesture lasts only 1/5 of a second but it takes place all the time, with people of both sexes and all ages. This "eye making" can be easily left unnoticed, but if you do notice it, you will certainly be given 100% of the person's attention.

Slightly opened lips. If a person likes you, his or her lips automatically open the moment your eyes meet.

Standing at attention. If a man is standing straight, with his shoulders squared and with his belt tightened, he's trying to show himself in all his beauty. If he is leaning forward to hear what the woman is saying, it is even better.

Adjusting the clothes. If a man is adjusting his tie, he really hopes that you will notice it. He may also sleek his hair, pull down his jacket, see if his lapels are in the right place. When a man is playing with the buttons of his jacket he's probably nervous. Using this gesture he's also trying to demonstrate his subconscious wish to get undressed for you. The next stage is when he takes his jacket off and places his arms on his hips. If he has used all these gestures, it means he's already imagining your shoes under his bed.

Playing with the hair. In order to show her sympathy towards a man, a woman makes a movement with her head to get her hair off her face. She may also move it aside with her hand. She tries to send the same signal by licking her lips. By the way, men also like sprucing up while talking to a woman. At the same time a woman will never miss a chance to count the number of times a man sleeks or bristles up his hair during the conversation.

Voyeurism. A man is openly trying to show that he's examining the woman's body, by casting some looks at its most beautiful parts. Ladies, you shouldn't be flattered, he automatically scanned your figure the first second he saw you. All he wants to do now is to let you know that he considers you as his sexual partner.

Crossing the legs. If the toes of a person's shoes are pointed at you, he or she is certainly interested in you. If you point your knee towards the person you're interested in, you'll demonstrate that you're ready for a closer relationship. One of the most captivating poses is when a woman is sitting with her legs crossed under herself and her knees are exposed to the person she's talking to. It means she's wants a man to take more decisive steps.

Playing around with cylindrical objects. A man, as well as a woman, when excited, will definitely find a glass or even a fork to stroke it or to touch it with his fingers. Cylindrical objects remind men of the woman's breasts, and the women of the man's genitals. Woman's wrist has always been considered one of the erogenous zones. When a woman is interested in a man she'll try to keep her palms and her wrists in the man's sight.

Touching the face. If a person is interested in you, he'll keep touching his chin, his ears and his cheeks. It means that he or she is subconsciously fixing the lies. This is a combination of nervous and autoerotic actions. When we're interested in somebody, our lips and the lower part of the face become very sensitive to stimulation. If you're smoking, you'll begin inhaling more often. If you're drinking something, you'll begin taking more sips. You enjoy touching your lips, and what is more, you let the other person know that a kiss is not far off.

The leading hand. It is a good sign if a man is holding you by the elbow or by the shoulder. In the first place, it is a good way to lead you through the crowd. Secondly, this way he can be sure that you don't get lost. Thirdly, this will frighten away the other men: after all, you already have one by your side. Fourthly , this lets him accidentally touch you . All in all, it's a good gesture.

He's offering you his sweater or his coat. Few men would be very glad that a woman came back from a date wearing somebody else's jacket, even if otherwise she would have died from cold. Men offer their jackets or sweaters to women because it's a defensive, sexual and proprietorial gesture. He's saying 'What is mine, is also yours ' (and otherwise ). At first the jacket smells of him, and then it smells of you. Eventually, by giving it to you, he'll have one more cause to appear on the scene again, at least to get back what belongs to him.

posted May 04, 2006 12:25 PM              

"Raised eyebrows." .....

For me, it has happened on couple of occasions where the Sagi female when she looked at me and there was nothing to communicate offhand, thus raising her eyebrows in the similar fashion mentioned above. And I too did the same as I also didn't had anything to say and just reciprocate whatever she did.

Well I am still having inner turmoil (even before reading above signs) of my feelings for the Sage fem. Though the interactions are lesser and also I see that her interactions with others are also similar; still I can't make myself move away from thoughts that she has some softness for me.

now with ur post, I would be in more miserable state (or maybe subconsciously optimistic) just kidding
I now have to look for same signs, in her interactions with 'others' also, so that I make the "stuck thought" of her liking me, go away.

posted May 05, 2006 02:17 PM            

LOL...that is too cute about the Aqua and the hate LOL.... I knew a Leo that would pucker up his lips and look into la la land when he was thinking about sex.

The problem with body language is that most of the time the cues are incredible subtle. For example - the raised eyebrows are quick and they don't raise significantly. Another "tell" is when you meet someone and they actual eyes open a bit wider. It takes only a few seconds and then its gone.

Two people that are in love are most likely to mirror each other symmetrically - meaning hips turned towards each other and similar body stance.

People that have are "intimate" with each other will allow a closeness that others would not normally do. For example, a male will lean over the female colleagues desk and brush her arm while doing it. Or at a party you will see those two people standing next to each other in a manner that just two friends wouldn't do.

As always there are exceptions to the rule. I had an Aqua friend that didn't have a concept of personal space - combine that with his culture (His family came from the Phillipines) and he was just a "close" person.

Villy,

How are things going? It seems like forever and a day since we talked about your work and the Sag. Please fill me in.

Take care,

posted May 05, 2006 07:23 PM            

To this day it sometimes pops into my mind when I am getting to that point (not hard since I am usually in some state of arousal).

Can you imagine being with someone and you think "Ahhh.... this is where the vas deferens is sending x to why and the blood is engorging his "magick wand" LOL....

I am doing well... battles in other forums, laughing at self-proclaimed gurus and his little groupies.

I am deeply in love with Mr. Leo.... we are getting married on June 29th in the Leo city of Las Vegas!!! How Sag and Leo huh?

We just about did it before he had to go to Germany, but decided to wait until he comes home. Lioneye, I have never met someone or loved someone so completely as him. We get along like two best friends, but we are also so deeply in love/ attracted to each other. There hasn't been any conflict, red flags or other wise. It just "fits".

It is such a breath of fresh air - God knows I have kissed (among other things) a few frogs - Married one and almost married a real toad!! LMAO... Seriously, my best Scorp friend (She is married to a fellow Scorp) nicknamed the ex-fiance the Fugly Toad. Speaking of which, his mail started coming to my PO box (he had sent mail there before he moved to TX without my permission. Then it finally stopped and what do you know... started to come directly to my house). Mr. Leo was NOT happy and wanted to contact the ex's CO / 1st SGT. Mr Leo is a much higher rank and has a hell of a lot more in his background - well, like any Leo LOL.... I set things straight with the ex.. who I then informed about Mr. Leo being ticked, what he wanted to do and since he is my future hubby and resides here... well, the crap needed to stop.

The Ex's response? OH yeah... well now I am married too so there!... Yeah, I am thinking the new spouse is as made up as his so called deceased daughter. He once told me he had to fly to San Ant. for a memorial service for her, had this huge story of how beautiful it was (and I knew he had been lying because I flew out the same day and knew there were only flights into Dallas). Well.... he finally admitted he lied.

To me, he became the lowest human being on the planet - to lie about a memorial service - but then again, there was no daughter. Ick..... It was quite an exchange of e-mails this last go round. He even said "My wife and I don't understand why you contacted me if you don't want any contact or memories of our former relationship" I said "I am not sure how I can make it any more plain spoken to you or her... I don't want your mail coming to our house. I want you out of my life, which is why I left your a$$ in the first place and which is why I told you to get lost in January AGAIN!!

SO...I am thinking his involvement with me is finally over. I don't think he will even try to pull the mail crap again. My life is like a drama. LOL

So, yes, things are going smashingly!!! How are you!

AT, how are you doing? Are things better these days?

posted May 06, 2006 07:25 AM              

Last few days were full of inner turmoil, as I returned back to my home office.

I have been away for couple of months. Well it surely helped me; in terms of me able to get back to my own self (I mean being around with her was affecting me a lot. It used to keep my mind busy thinking about the situation and our behavior ... whatever I used to do at work was affected with me being in that state). While away, I did have few thoughts, however I think these were normal ones which didn’t affect me so much internally.
I myself didn't initiate any friendly communication (chat/email) as such (I know its like avoiding someone, however I think I haven't got much choice and feel she would think rationally about the same and not feel bad).
I did try to initiate a round-about communication (to check if she initiates communication) and got one friendly official email, which I replied back in a bit friendly manner (commenting that I couldn't make myself write, in response to her statement of - not a single mail from you). However seeing not much contents in her reply to some of my queries on how things are going n all; I just didn't took it further on in a personal way (I mean I did reply but it was a normal professional mail). Since then there has been no friendly types of communication.
I think this (total black out in communication from both ends) was good for me; as its like a fight for me- one mind doesn't want to get involved due to various reasons and the other dreamy mind (when away the dreamy mind didn’t have much strength) tries to go into dreams and feel good about it.
There has been 2/3 official mail communications from my end, however on a friendly level its almost "no communication" (and seeing her normal official replies might have lighted me a bit).
Unfortunately I had to return back; Saying unfortunate, not just due to being into a situation with her, however I have my own other personal reasons of staying away. I did make up mind to be as professional as possible in our interactions and in my thought process.
I was hoping my heart doesn't again feel goody by being around her, as internally I don't want such a relationship. Even if I imagine it results in some relation, I feel I would make myself resist to strongest extent, with thoughts like - "I would be playing with someone else's emotions by giving false hopes n all, when I know that my internal being is still in turmoil. When I know I may not be able to give any kind of commitment from my side due to my own reasons, there is no point to start any form of relationship"

Now I don’t sit just besides her place (bit away, not too far) and not involved in same kind of work. Still my first few days were terrible - as she is still nearby and I can hear her voice when she interacts with someone else or her walking past.
We hardly had any conversation at the start. It was nothing like before, when we had lots of small interactions. I was feeling so bad, at first I thought it was due to jealousy (like/love-hate relation). After sometime I realized that my terrible state was more due to my attraction to her. (I have no idea if she misses interacting with me like before - and I don’t know how to get to know about that. Maybe you got some inputs for me)

posted May 06, 2006 07:27 AM              

Worst part is I don’t know what her feelings are – of which my mind keeps thinking the same thoughts again and again … debating that her interactions are same with everyone and there is no attraction of her to me.
No one likes to be attracted to a person, who is not attracted to himself – I guess this results in the state of ‘is there an attraction or not’. Even if there are strong indications that the other person is not interested, one keeps thinking that other person has some feelings (as his own attraction for the other person can’t see the reality).
Even if I come to know that other person is attracted to me, I don’t know what to expect of it. So it’s like going through such a state of affair mutely till it ends someday.
I think, by now, she might have at least a faint idea (or more) of my subtle attractions to her.

I was trying to look for all the above body lang. signs during the recent conversations (thanks for posting them it surely would help). In most conversations she was the speaker. I am unable to keep my gaze fixed with hers for long, as then I get lost and loose my concentration of what she is saying. Well she doesn’t falter much even if my gaze is met with hers for long (I guess it implies either she has nothing much for me or she has more control of herself). Her hair was already tugged back neatly, so didn’t get to observe if she would move it back from her face. She doesn’t touch her chin, ears or cheeks. I do touch my ears a lot. Also I don’t recollect if she had raised eyebrows earlier in subtle fashion (1/5 sec).

Sometimes I think it will be a pity to shy away from such a relation where such natural feelings are at play. It would be like a loss. I keep oscillating whether to have control and remove the thoughts (in reality I can’t remove these feelings), not doing things which might result in more closeness OR act naturally and go with the flow. Either ways my inner state is not so good to be in. Again my work gets affected (even if there is no interaction or there is an interaction – though not having an interaction might affect more). I am thinking to shift my place further away where I can’t see if I stand up or hear her when she interacts with someone else (dunno how it goes).

Also I think I can never get her year of birth and time of birth to check her chart.

posted May 07, 2006 01:10 PM              

Me? Well, I suspect I am 1/2 way through ny divorce from Mr. Aqua...our house is under offer, so fingers crossed, the sale should go through.

As far as guys go, plenty of dates, but nobody I have really fancied as yet, getting my rocks off on hobbies etc. for the time being...will let you know when something comes up though.

posted May 08, 2006 11:44 PM            

Villy - Sag women can be very forthright if they're attracted, but may contain it, especially in a work situation. We saggies also will observe first before showing any attraction. Most of the time, though, we welcome sincere interest in getting to know us and being a witty, caring friend.