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Author
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Topic: Holding grudges
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BlueEyes24
unregistered
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posted July 07, 2006 11:19 AM
 
What signs in the natal chart are more likely to hold grudges than others? And what signs find it easier to just let go?I have Sun in virgo, Asc in Sag, Moon & Venus in scorpio (in 11th house) and I absolutely HATE holding grudges. I actually hate conflict, period. I don't forget, but I always forgive. How I see it is, the past is the past, and that's that. I'd rather move on towards the future than dwell on the past. The reason I'm asking is, I have a friend who still dislikes a guy who tried to "hook up" with his HIGH SCHOOL girlfriend, while he was still with her, years ago. He does not have feelings for her anymore, he is actually in a very happy relationship right now, but he did not want to go to a mutual friend's house because that certain guy was going to be there. I asked why, and he said once he does not like someone, he will never like them again. I think that's a very strong statement. He has a lot of scorpio placements, including Scorp rising, & Scorp mars. And also a cancer moon. I'm wondering if it's a Scorpio thing to hold grudges? Anyone else with a lot of Scorpio placements ever feel this way? IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted July 07, 2006 11:23 AM
Cancer. Even when they let you think they've forgotten or forgiven, they haven't really. My Mum is a double Cancer and she PRIDED herself on keeping grudges. They are very quick to judge and very slow to change their minds. Swerve IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Newflake Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 07, 2006 11:25 AM
Scorpio, cancer, and Taurus are notorious for holding grudges. But that's going by sun sign only. I know I hold grudges. Not even gonna lie. I think that most likely it's because we have such a hard time forgetting past hurts. We're all very stubborn and have alot of pride. Don't squash that.Now if you wanna go into placements, alot of Scorpio is a start. But I read somewhere that saturn in the 12th house is another culprit. I can testify to that as I have saturn in the 12th. IP: Logged |
CrankyCap
Newflake Posts: 0
From: Ohio
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 07, 2006 12:17 PM
Taurus, Taurus, Taurus! lol If I were to "guess" I would agree with Cancer and Scorp as well, but I know first hand that Taureans are horrible about this. My mother (double Taurus) is the worst. She NEVER forgets, and she'll use the past to give you a guilt trip in the present. If you p*ss her off, she won't speak to you or even look in your direction until she's good and ready - which can be weeks. Also, my best friend is a Gem with Taurus in Mars and Venus and Merc in Cancer. About 7 (yes, 7) years ago a mutual friend of ours (Aries) wanted to ask a guy out that the Gem had a thing for. In typical honest Aries fashion, she brought up the topic with the Gem first to make sure that she was ok with it. The Gem told the Aries that it was "fine" but it really wasn't...of course. Both girls have moved on but no longer speak. The Aries lives out of state, but I still keep in contact with her. She harbors no ill will toward the Gem at all, but the Gem would still take any opportunity to run her over with a mac truck! Despite the fact that that was 7 years ago and they're both married to other men! I know the Gem will often purposely ask me how the Aries is doing just so that she can add a snide remark. It blows me away sometimes. I can't believe the animosity she still has after all these years. I think it's the Taurus in her, with a little bit of cancer tongue lashing as well. IP: Logged |
The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake Posts: 122
From: England
Registered: Oct 2009
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posted July 07, 2006 01:05 PM
Well, Fixed signs will probably come tops for this!!And I can confirm Scorpios are prime suspects of this! The ones I know anyway, they can get grumpy over anything and stay like it for ages! It's almost admirable. Personally, I'd love to hold a grudge but being a Virgo with an Aries Moon it's practically impossible. I'm just crap at it. haha IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Newflake Posts: 8
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 07, 2006 01:13 PM
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Grudges are something i really really learn from in this lifetime..
I agree with the synopsis so far... fixed signs are definately more likely to hold grudges.Myself? I try to let things go..
I won't forget usually, but I will forgive.... but it depends on the situation..if I have a repeated problem with someone.. like it's always the same, we never get over it, I do tend to think the worst if it comes up again.... I guess you'd either call it a grudge or a learned behaviour. Hard to define.
If it is something that happened, not a repeatd thing, I'd hope to be forgiven and not have it held against me, so I try to do the same.
I also learned from my Oma, who is an Aquarius ( fixed) she never lets go of anything, and she explains her breast Cancer that way... it manifested in her body, because her emotions let it. A big block. Near her heart.
That as an expamle enlightens the forgiveness I would like to nurture. IP: Logged |
Aquarius_Lover
unregistered
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posted July 07, 2006 01:58 PM
I do hold grudges. I'm a Taurus  I try to take things casually, forget and forgive in name of harmony and such, but I seldom suceed. The offense or whatever hapenned is like engraved in fire in my brains. Now, this is a terrible trait to live with The only two things who are safe from my wrath are children and pets. BTW, I have a lot of Taurus/Scorpio placements. IP: Logged |
nove731
Knowflake Posts: 43
From: Strasbourg, France
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 07, 2006 02:13 PM
This is one of those times when I think that there is some truth in sun signs.  I'm an Aries, and I rarely care enough to carry a grudge. IP: Logged |
mysticaldream
unregistered
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posted July 07, 2006 07:02 PM
Well, I try really hard not to hold grudges because morally I know the right thing to do is to let it go....... BUT I find myself feeling bitter/resentful even after a long time if someone has crossed me. It takes ALOT of effort on my part to really have "good feelings" toward that person.....I do have Scorpio rising, and Venus and Neptune... no Cancer or Taurus, though. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 4416
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 07, 2006 07:21 PM
I'm a Capricorn 8th house Sun. I can hold grudges. I'd say that there's generally a qualifier. It's a bit convoluted to explain, though.IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Newflake Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 07, 2006 09:14 PM
I'd say look for hard saturn aspects too. It can make one resentful when wronged.IP: Logged |
pisces_girl
unregistered
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posted July 07, 2006 09:31 PM
In my experience, no-one can hold a grudge like my cappy friend with a cancer moon. She still holds grudges towards people she feel who wronged her when she was in primary school and this girl in early high-school. She is naturally a very trusting person, and opens up readily to new people, but when she finds out she has been deceived by them behind her back... well lets just say there is no wrath like that of a woman scorned.IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
unregistered
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posted July 08, 2006 12:18 AM
Taurus/Scorpio here, and 'grudge' is my middle name.  Actually I hold a grudge for a while, but even as it slowly disappears I never forget the harm or hurt that was done by the person who caused the grudge, and I am never the same with that person again... a lot more distant. For me it's a defense mechanism, of once bitten twice shy. IP: Logged |
Love
Knowflake Posts: 54
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 08, 2006 12:33 AM
I am a Cancer with a Cancer Ascendant and a Cancer Venus and a Taurus Moon and I really do NOT hold grudges. I can be stubborn and I won't forget you hurt me for a long time, but I will let you make it up to me and prove that I can trust you. I absolutely forgive. Like Pixel P was saying about her Oma, if I hold stuff in I get sick almost immediately so I learned not to hold anger in since it really only hurts me in the end. So maybe by being a Cancer or Taurus or Scorpio you have the astrological DNA to hold a grudge, but maybe you can bypass it...
Love 
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A Perfect Circle
unregistered
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posted July 08, 2006 02:28 AM
I'm a Libra, I don't think it's physiologically possible for me to hold a grudge. If I get into arguments with people who do, it's always really awkward because I want to just forget about it and move on 30 seconds later, whereas they'll stay ****** at me for weeks. That being said, if someone cheated on me I'd probably never talk to them again.IP: Logged |
scorpiopride
unregistered
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posted July 08, 2006 05:05 AM
Yes I am defianetly a grudge holder. I'm a scorpio sun and a leo moon.I think the worst grudges I hold are the ones where my pride is hurt. (which is most of them) I also never forgive or forget. This is something I have battled with for the past few years. One day I found myself weighed down by grudges that no longer mattered and were only hurting me. I have tried to learn to let them go through astrology. actually it was in trying to understand myself and the things I don't like about myself and wish to change. Astrology is where I've learned it's the fixed scorpio in me that makes me not forgive or forget. Then my leo moon that makes me take things too personnally.
Knowing these things has helped me at least somewhat release myself of these demons that ate at me daily. I still carry my grudes to a degree but now I understand why and have been able to push them back, making it easier to focus on the more important things in my life. IP: Logged |
zoso
Newflake Posts: 15
From: Reno, Nv
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted July 08, 2006 05:28 AM
Ugh! hahaha I hate myself for holding grudges since my Sag stellium usually wants to live and let live. But I've got Venus and Saturn in Scorp and Moon in Taurus...it's maddening!!! I usually forgive and forget until the same person irritates me again...then I start to remember every little thing they've done wrong to me...even when I hadn't realized that I was keeping score. I'm such a biatch sometimes! IP: Logged |
Lauren
unregistered
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posted July 08, 2006 06:45 AM
I have a Capricorn moon in the 8th and my Asc is on the Cancer cusp. The only reason I’d have a problem with someone is if they harmed myself or someone else intentionally. Whether it’s psychological, physical or emotional hurt that they caused.. I’d see this as wrong. If it was unintentional I wouldn’t keep a grudge. If it was intentional and they apologised and actually acknowledged what they did, I wouldn’t keep a grudge but I would be wary of the person. Worst case scenario would be if they aren’t willing to recognise what they did and they don’t express any sort of remorse for the person they hurt, whether it’s me or someone else. I’d see this as them not having the strength of character and decency to right their wrong.. I’d also see it as them putting their pride on a pedestal at the expense of other people’s feelings and I could never again trust a person like this, so I wouldn’t interact with them any longer. It’d almost be like they no longer exist to me. IP: Logged |
sugar_buns
unregistered
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posted July 08, 2006 08:43 AM
well im a virgo with libra asc n aqua moon- apparently not a combo known to hold grudges but boy do i hold them n hold them tight.
i think its bcos of my pluto in 1st house conjunct asc n saturn in 1st house aswell. plus top it my moon sits in the 4th house- making me pretty touchy emotionally, like a cancerian.
i dont know what happens but when someone intentionally or unintentionally p*sses me off, i can never see that person in a positive light again( unless its a family member). even i try to curb this habit but its very difficult, almost like painfull.
n ya i may forget the other random things in life but never an incident when person hurt me, NEVER.IP: Logged |
illusions_fool
unregistered
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posted July 08, 2006 10:52 AM
I don't know about who holds grudges, but I forget in an hour at most when someone's upset me. Aquarius/Pisces Cusp Sun, Aquarius Moon in 12th, Aquarius Mercury in 12th and Pisces Rising sextile Neptune.
Like Sid [from Ice Age] said, "You know I'm too lazy to hold a grudge." lol.~Rebekka IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Newflake Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 08, 2006 01:07 PM
Oh yes, I also have to agree that Leo influenced people do this as well.Again, it's the pride....don't squash it. I know the longest grudge I've ever held is actually still in process.Oops.My sister holds grudges as well even though she's a pisces sun, but she has a scorpio rising and alot of other fixed placements in her chart. I can't blame her, seeing the people who claim to be her "friends". IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 4416
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 08, 2006 01:42 PM
Lauren touched on one of my qualifiers - intent, which factors largely in determining who will have a grudge held against them.IP: Logged |
mars446
unregistered
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posted July 08, 2006 10:33 PM
Pis asc, Virgo sun and mars, Leo moon and venus- all in 6th houseI used to be so obstinate in holding grudges. However, when I put myself in situations where I was the one who was wrong, my pride broke down (b/c I knew what I did was wrong, but still was forgiven) and found that holding grudges is sometimes not fair to others, because they might have gone through something that could be right, but the mind doesn't understand the reasons of the heart. However, there was this one kid (I call 20 yr old guys kids) that was just sooooo callous in his demeanor, seriously not a people person (though I thought he was nice and funny).......got me so angry, and after not talking to him for a year (yes, I can do that)......I talked to him again just for the fact that we were friends, and thought, what the hell, just toss it over. He got me angry with the same thing that got me angry a year ago, and was so stupid as to telling me, "Oh, I actually thought that you weren't going to talk to me ever again" I was like........R U SERIOUS? I didn't even expect an appology b/c I threw it out, and he said that. And ever since then, never said a thing to him. It's been over a year now. Anyways.....I try to be as accomodating as possible, and hope to understand the other's point of view, b/c sometimes I think people need some help getting out of their bad habits, and if you show them that ur willing to help them out by forgiving, then there would be the possiblity for change. It happened for me, and I like to think the best of people. But that kid definitely had no brains at all....just downright stupid and obnoxious. So no bother boiling my blood, killing some of my nerves for someone who doesn't deserve it at all. The End  IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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