posted October 30, 2006 03:02 PM              

My man-
3/26/1985
6:29am
Chicago, IL

When I did our charts on astro.com I noticed some things i was curious about-

composite sun in 4th
composite venus in 5th
composite eros in 1st
composite moon trine neptune
composite venus trine mars
composite venus, jupiter and mars trine pluto
composite vertex in 7th
compsite karma in 1st
composite juno conjunct pluto
composite psyche conjunct sun & mercury
composite moon sextile pallas

synastry-
my karma conjunct his mercury and venus
my amor conjunct his mercury, venus and ascendant
my valentine conjunct his mercury & venus
my north node conjunct his ascendant
my north node same sign conjunct his venus, sun & mercury
double whammy- my juno conjunct his saturn, his juno sextile my saturn
his valentine conjunct my ascendant & saturn
his cupido conjunct my sun & mercury
his vesta conjunct my saturn
his moon sextile my sun
his moon trine my ceres
his saturn conjunct my ascendant
his vertex square my mars
my vertex square his mercury & venus
double whammy sun trine saturn

we have a lot of bad too though

double whammy sun & mercury square mars
double whammy his venus square my mars, my venus trine his mars
double whammy his venus trine my uranus, my venus square his uranus
my moon square his uranus
his pluto square my sun
my neptune square his sun

posted October 30, 2006 04:30 PM            

You're not ready for a partnership, and neither is he. Time for some reflection on yourself and what's important to you in life.

posted October 30, 2006 04:53 PM            

No one can MAKE you do or feel anything. YOU are responsible for your own actions and reactions. No one has the ability to push your buttons unless you LET them..... are you saying that your boyfriend maliciously "provokes" you??

And I'm wondering why you are "yelling" at us but begging at the same time. You obviously know something about astrology. Of course there is potential in your relationship. But whether the potential can be expressed is up to the both of you and how MATURE you can/will be with the issues you confront.

I think this quote from Steven Forrest may be apropos:

quote:

---

To me, in the realities of the astrological counselling room, there are two immutable premises:

There is no manner of astrological interaction between two people that
is so inherently sweet that enough selfishness, confusion about sex, or
immaturity cannot turn it sour.

There is no manner of astrological interaction between two people that
is so inherently bitter that enough patience, devotion, and humility can
not only make it last, but make it something precious to both people.

---

posted October 30, 2006 05:03 PM              

I know that it probably goes without saying -- but I do think that if you guys are committed to making it work, it might be a good idea to see a therapist or a counselor together. There *are* astrological counselors out there, though you may have to search a bit to find one. I know of one in New York who is *amazing*. She is a professional astrologer who also has degrees in psychology (she specializes in Jungian).

Anyway, that said, I took a peek at your composite, looking specifically at the composite nodes. It helps to remember that the entire composite chart is a map of midpoints--it isn't an actual chart in and of itself. The composite NN is the point where the two North Nodes meet, where the couple's growth as a unit needs to go. As two individuals work on their nodal tasks, the result of their efforts in terms of their relationship are reflected in the composite. Also, the 'given' in terms of relationship, what we don't have to work on, is reflected in the South Node. This is why I often give the South Node in the composite a lot more weight than the North Node, unless the couple is very much tuned in to growth and development.

Anyway, your case with your boyfriend is indeed complex -- composite Pluto conjuncts composite SN in the 9th, in Scorpio. This points to a past together (SN) fraught with power struggles (Pluto) where sexuality (Scorpio) was abused or not dealt with properly, due to clashing beliefs/principles (9th house). This is a tough signature, but not necessarily a bad one.

The key here is to focus on the composite NN, in Taurus in the 3rd. Communicate, communicate, communicate. In Taurus, you need to learn how to to communcate with each other in real-world terms, in ways that increase each other's sense of security (Taurus).

This is emphasized by composite Mercury conjunct Chiron -- composite Chiron is a place where healing can be had, attained as a couple. Conjunct Mercury this shows that healing can be attained in communicating with each other -- of course, this also shows that there is a deep wound in this area. Much work may need to be done.

That composite Merc/Chiron is part of a t-square in your composite -- that Me/Ch opposes Saturn/Uranus, and that opposition is squared by Mars/Jupiter. Lots of energy in this relationship, and it may take some work to get it flowing positively. Focus on the point opposite the apex -- this would be 7th house/Virgo. There's the communication theme again, with the sign of Virgo being highlighted. Try to develop a Virgonian approach with each other.

I know I haven't even had a chance to look at your charts individually, which matters a great deal...but I am hoping that this little bit will help some.

Take care of yourselves!

posted October 30, 2006 05:18 PM              

So, I noticed right off the bat his Saturn is on your AC. This means he CAN be a bit of a "downer" for you...but it also indicates strong pull, heavy attraction, lots of "real world" stuff to work out together. You have a Juno/Saturn conjunction on your ascendant -- this is something similar to what one of my closest gal pals from college has, she has a Saturn/Juno conjunction on the DC. Saturn is where our fears/limitations reside...but it also where we can build something real in this life. With it conjunct Juno on your AC, part of your lessons in this lifetime revolve around issues of equal partnership, and this will not be easy for you to deal with (for where Saturn is, there is usually a lot of fear). You must learn to let go of your fear.

Now that said, I saw that your nodal axis lies right on his AC/DC axis -- this is a very STRONG tie. It's one of the most common aspects in long-term (15+ years) marriages, that of the nodal axis of one person tied in with the angles of another.

posted October 30, 2006 05:35 PM              

There are a lot of squares between yours and his personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars), indicating that your energies tend to "combine"...sometimes violently. You can work things out together...but not if either of you insists on slapping the other.

Get ahold of yourself before this escalates any further, sit down with your boy friend, and see if you want to work things out between you. If you do, because of your anger issues, perhaps you want to have a "safe word", a word which you both know and which either one can use when someone "goes too far". Then you can stop what you are doing RIGHT THERE, calm down, and work things out between you. Beware of the "control games" on BOTH sides...they are death to a healthy relationship.

Relating in a dangerous place,

posted October 31, 2006 01:12 PM              

I totally understand. If there's one snippet of wisdom I can say that I have attained at this point in my life, it's the value in an objective assessment of one's various life situations/predicaments. And this is not always easy to do -- I was having a discussion with a friend about this once. We were talking about human nature and how there's one problem with psychological knowledge -- people have a very hard time applying it to themselves. He (my friend is a network engineer, so he works with computers) said he thought there was a clue to this from computer programming in a procedure called recursion. Recursion means making the program loop back on itself, to use its own information to do things over and over
until it gets a result. You use recursion for certain data-sorting algorithms and things like that. It has to be done carefully, though, or the machine falls into what is called infinite regress. It's the programming equivalent of funhouse mirrors that reflect mirrors and mirrors, stretching into infinity. The program keeps going, repeating, but nothing happens. He told me he thought that something similar happens to people when they turn their psychological insight-apparatus on themselves. The brain hangs, going nowhere. It has to be that, because we know that people can think of themselves indefinitely. Some think of little else, and yet many never seem to change as a result of their self-introspection. They never understand themselves better. It's rare to find genuine self-knowledge.

I think astrology is a gift which can help us in our search for self-knowledge. I struggled with my interest in astrology at first, due to my background in science/math. I found much writing on astrology lacking, until I discovered the works of Liz Greene and Jenny Wade in particular. Now I see the links between astrology and science -- both quantum physics and string theory have gone beyond Einstein's understanding of the universe, which we now know to be more interconnected than he could have imagined. Physics and astrology are coming together more and more, and one day perhaps our mortal minds will
crack the mystery of why symbolic languages (such as astrology) work. So I don't know why some folks reach backwards to try and prove something like this -- to me, it just isn't necessary. Let the material determinists and the rationalists have their day -- their world is crumbling, and most of them don't even know it. We live in a world where we know (or rather, string theory physicists know) that there are eleven other alternate dimensions sitting right next to/within ours -- we just can't access them with our pitiful three dimensional sense. Why look back, you know?

I do wish you and your boyfriend much luck, warmth, and growth.