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Author
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Topic: Elusive Pisces
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rainbowdreamer
unregistered
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posted November 01, 2006 10:18 PM
 
The man I believe is my soulmate has reappeared in my life after almost 2 years--workplace only. I never reciprocated when he made attempts to show affection, when he was gone I deeply regretted that. Now of course I am ready to do so and he is totally elusive with me. I am told by a coworker who most likely knows him better than I that he is being this way for the sake of his job and it will most likely blow over. I am told to give it time. I am so confused. Most of the communication problem I will attribute to the Mercury retrograde, but then I don't know if he is being elusive specifically with me because in time he has changed as well as I have or if we just need time to reconnect. I am also extremely hurt as it feels like we are a couple who just slams doors in each others faces.
Feel free to reply if you wish--just blowing some Scorpio steam.IP: Logged |
villy
unregistered
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posted November 02, 2006 01:42 AM
You know what, I am in similar situation (except its other way round along with the fact that I don’t think that the other person would ever think of getting in a relation because she is married with kid and she said she never had any feelings for me).Thing is once the other person has shown no interest in us Pisceans, we don’t keep pushing for it. I can’t make myself to even act like before (normal colleague interaction), because its like falling down in someone’s eyes (taking wrong meaning of a friendship/colleague relation, that too a married female .. my friends would surely ask if I have gone crazy). Secondly, we act elusive because, being in touch with the other person is going to invoke the feelings for the other person, though other person doesn’t have…. So its better not being in touch with the other person, as I can’t be sure of myself/my feelings even though after coming to know she doesn’t have anything. Being away also helps in loosing those feelings/affection for the other person. Also I think psychological (may or may not be right) that being in touch with her, I don’t want to influence her in any way. I am not sure but I feel that once opening our feelings with a person and other person responding negatively and after that we still being in touch with them and behaving normally like nothing has happened and we took the response graciously, might result in development of some feelings in other person (which we don’t want). (Hope I haven’t confused with all my thoughts  ) Thirdly as your friend mentioned, his job (or you can say self-respect) is also at stake. He tried once, and got a negative response/no response, he doesn’t want to be seen doing that again.
If he tries again, and say you didn’t had any feelings for him; what if you create a fuss about it, what if everyone comes to know, what if you reported him to someone for his retries. He is already feeling guilty of doing something which he thinks he shouldn’t had done (though it was not wrong of showing up one’s feeling) so can he go the same path again. Abuse at workplace is a big thing, which surely would keep him at bay. We leave the other person as it is. If the other person wants us they have to try it, as we don’t want anyone to be with us without his own will (unless the relationship has reached bit far). He might be elusive and away from you as he doesn’t want you to get hurt in any way. If someone doesn’t like us or has some issues with us, we just go away (not only due to us being hurt, also we don’t want to get in someone’s way as the other person doesn’t like us) We are sensitive creatures and want to protective ourselves. Its nothing to do with you. If you need him you have to take the steps. Remember he is a fish, you have to plan the bait (not to eat him, but for being a friend) Good luck. [On a side note I have given up on people to understand us  whatever it be, let it be... someone thinking in some way, others thinking in some other way, it doesn't make much of a difference, as the truth (here truth is something else) is unknown to all of us....as usual we go with the flow of life]
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Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 117
From:
Registered: Feb 2010
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posted November 02, 2006 11:18 AM
awwwhhh In all honesty this is just my opinion I think that Scorp women are the best for Pisces men.Scorp women set Pisces men straight on their bullcrap cause they can be full of it. And they serve Pisces men on the sexual tip to keep them tamed.
I agree to everything Villy has said about how us Pisces ppl operate when in certain positions... IP: Logged |
rainbowdreamer
unregistered
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posted November 02, 2006 01:35 PM
Thanks villy and MamaMia for your responses. I have been left pretty emotionally drained from having the deepness of this water relationship that I am somewhat at a loss for words. Both of you helped me immensely and as soon as my thoughts are in some semblance of order I will find a way to respond better.
Thanks again, you have both helped me to see things from a fresh perspective.IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted November 02, 2006 05:36 PM
I want a Scorpio woman!I met one the other day again after not seeing her since January when she had a bf. It was so funny watching the usual scenario play out, with being drawn to each other in a room full of people and us being the only two who knew it was inevitable and everyhting else leading up to it a formality. Words aren't really nessecary, more a nicety. Its just there. Why don't you tap into that energy again and pull yourself away from your own subjective point of view. You'll simply...understand...and the answers will be inside of you. Whatever they are. Good luck. Swerve IP: Logged |
lals
unregistered
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posted November 02, 2006 06:22 PM
I am a scorp and my brother a pisces who just think quite tangential. But I am at total ease with piscean girls few of them are very good friends of mine.IP: Logged |
rainbowdreamer
unregistered
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posted November 03, 2006 01:08 AM
Villy, our situations are not far off--the man I am thinking of is also married--making things a little more difficult. Funny, before I met him I saw a picture of him and knew there was something in his eyes that I had to find out what it was. When I did meet him several weeks later, I wanted to know what was behind the eyes. I had been in good relationships before, but very turned off by guys making cheesy passes. I told myself I would not be the pursuer in a relationship, he would have to come to me. When I first met him, it was just as Linda describes in LoveSigns. Every day we saw each other after, he would always wink at me in a way that would never make me feel violated but melted my heart. I of course always wanted to find a way to show that I cared but never could quite find the right way...also a little hindered by the fact that we were always at work and I could never manage to bring myself to let down my guard in that setting, also a new territory in that he is married. I know he felt something in that first meeting and even if he was unsure what it was I think he was at least curious to find out. I found out through another coworker that he had left--he was not finding the right work he needed at the time. I tried very hard in my own quiet way to get him back to work with us, and now after almost two years it worked. He seems happy to be back. Of course he comes back when the Mercury Retrograde is interfering with all of our communications, so this leaves me somewhat perplexed. I had all these visions of how things would be when he came back and they were pretty much shattered. I did say to him "Welcome home". He did start some small conversation with me in the beginning. Later I asked him about how things were going and issued him a slight warning to "watch his back" because I knew coming back to work with us meant more than a business transaction to him because he cares so much (I was concerned about his Piscean nature being trampled on again, I confess). He told me he appreciated my thoughts. This was it. No wink, no nothing. The next day same thing, doesn't even look at me most times. Day after that is no better. By this time I am feeling concerned about leaving him paranoid re: the comments I made about watching his back. I consider the Merc Retrograde carefully and still decide IIP: Logged |
rainbowdreamer
unregistered
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posted November 03, 2006 01:26 AM
want to clear the air of any misunderstandings. I tried to find a private place, however, it was very busy and there was not one in sight. I caught him in the hall and said I did not want him to misunderstand about the watching your back, it's just that I'm in a position to be seeing and hearing a lot of things. He said "I know, you're everywhere". He informed me that his coworkers were treating him well and, "Don't worry about me, I know how to watch my own back". He was already trying to walk away at this point as I was attempting to explain to him that although there was so much upheaval in his former place of work, our place had changed as well. He said, "I know" and left it at that. Again, no nothing, no smiles, no warm hug, no "thanks for watching out for me". Here I think there is a possibility he feels I am trying to be a mother to him. I also find out things I didn't fully know from another coworker who says things got really bad for him at the other place because he was so well-liked and respected that he always got the work. He didn't mind, but co-workers did. She says he is trying to come in quietly and just do his thing. Completely understandable. I find that he is extremely private, again something I understand because this must be my middle name. I just want to make absolutely sure there isn't something I have done which has made him hate me. I don't know if in this time away he has had second thoughts and told himself to forget the whole thing or if it is truly all about the job. I know it was said that I need to be making the moves now, but I just don't know if that is really what he is looking for. As he was leaving one night, I told him I was really glad he was back and I got no response at all. I somehow do not think this is a case where he did not hear me. Someone tell me, what is the deal and how do you think I should proceed?IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted November 03, 2006 08:56 AM
He's married right?Then unless you are happy to be just friends I would say stop altogether. It's very unfair for you to do anything else quite frankly, and he would feel that. "He said "I know, you're everywhere"." - could be a big warning. Swerve IP: Logged |
rainbowdreamer
unregistered
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posted November 03, 2006 12:10 PM
Ohhh, here we go, opening the "married" can of worms again. I do not want to sound defensive, however, I do have a position on this as well. I am beginning to evolve to Linda's position that one or both does not step up to the plate re: how they feel due to their loyalty to their current partner.
She says this sense is mistaken because possessing someone whose true heart belongs elsewhere is a lonely possession--not to advocate adultery/divorce, only to point out that sometimes mistakes are made. This cannot be judged on a surface level.
I will go on record to say I care just as much about her as I do him. I believe there is a reason I have been put in this position and am simply here to find out what that is. Sometimes things happen...of course I would never wish upon a tragedy or anything...but things do happen. I believe in God and know that whatever is meant to be is meant to be. IP: Logged |
Happy Dragon
unregistered
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posted November 03, 2006 01:01 PM
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Happy Dragon
unregistered
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posted November 03, 2006 01:04 PM
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Happy Dragon
unregistered
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posted November 03, 2006 01:06 PM
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hippichick
Knowflake Posts: 588
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 06, 2006 12:10 PM
rainbowI have been following this thread since it started and now I feel I may reply. I am a Pisces sun female. Pisces sun is forever elusive....and when we are hurt, we swim very deep, away....... Sometimes into the arms of another, sometimes into the Divine, sometimes into addictions, usually into ourselves. We FEEL, so compleatly, so intensely, sometimes we just can not feel anymore, but we always come back to feel again. We must be elusive to protect ourselves, just as the prized and beautiful fish in the sea, if we do not run (swim away) and hide, we may very well be eaten....by those that inhabit the sea with us---those in our emotional energy field. Sorry for the metaphors, this is the way I like to relate (drives the earth signs CRAZY) but I know your Scorpio heart can understand..... My guess about your guy friend is that he once felt a very strong connection with you and very likely sitll does, but since you did not reciporicate initially, he may be hurt and needing to protect himself. And trust is HUGE for us. I trust automatically, everybody, but once the trust is broken it is very hard for me to ever trust the individual again...and I mean EVER! I give my heart so compleatly that once it has been broken, not the stickiest superglue or the best love can mend it entirely. Happy Dragon posted the amazing Liz Greene's work on the Pisces. She also mentions that the Pisces woman is more than a "witch"....when hurt she is a vampire!!! This may very well be true for a man as well---"hell hath no fury as the woman scorned......." You may also be experiencing his "shadow" which is VERY real...look out for the Pisces with lordly control issues...ewwww! Been there myself and I do not like it!!! I would also like to address your comments about connecting with "married" individuals. I want to thank you and applaud you for your post that addressed opening up the "married can of worms...." I agree with you totally. Just because someone is "married" does not mean we do not/can not connect...and we often do. Sometimes you just meet someone and, well...
I think alot of the connection that we feel, though, is a past life connection. I know for myself, the connections I have made with "taken" men have been very deep and profound and I have always make the mistake of thinking I was feeling something in the present or future, but most likely it was the past...that would be the only way to explain the way SO deep connection I have felt. I too feel and care about the women involved in the men's lives, and feel just so darn bad for the both of them, usually living a lie....but it is their life and lie to live and I will not take that from them. "Marriage" is a Christian term, vows that were taken in the Christian church before the Divine, and has legal implications as well. I respect that, though I am quite Pagan at heart, I respect Christianity and feel that if you take vows before your God, you should honor those vows....however then you meet someone..... My advice to you would be to go with the flow--not against it. Follow your heart. Read his energy field....use your intuition and most of all let go. Let him go to be what he will be, when he will be. If it is to be it will be. Bless him, love him unconditionally for who HE IS, not who you wish him to be. Sending peace and love Terri  IP: Logged |
Cardinalgal
unregistered
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posted November 06, 2006 01:28 PM
Hi rainbowdreamer  I just wanted to say hello and chip in with my 4 penneth for what it's worth This is merely my opinion, and I totally understand how you feel, but I think a little caution is advisable. quote:
She says this sense is mistaken because possessing someone whose true heart belongs elsewhere is a lonely possession--not to advocate adultery/divorce, only to point out that sometimes mistakes are made. This cannot be judged on a surface level.
Yes but I don't think you can take it upon yourself to decide what he feels at this stage, and what he therefore should/shouldn't do about those feelings. Whilst I totally understand the feelings you're experiencing, and the temptation to 'start the ball rolling' so to speak, I strongly agree with Swerve and would caution you to step back for a bit. His words "I know, you're everywhere", are a little enigmatic and could indeed be a hint that he feels pressured and crowded. If he does feel something for you and wants to pursue that, then I think it has to come from him rather than you being the one to place a difficulty in their relationship by deciding what's best for everyone, simply because you feel you have been put in this position for a reason. Perhaps the reason is to learn something yourself? There's no way of knowing until it happens. quote:
I will go on record to say I care just as much about her as I do him. I believe there is a reason I have been put in this position and am simply here to find out what that is.
That's lovely that you care about her too - and I think if you really care the best way to show that is to await a sign that he's really unhappy in that relationship and that it's you that he wants. To pre-empt that in any way would be unfair to all concerned because it makes it all about what you want. Do you know anything about his relationship with his wife? Do you know if he was definitely interested in you before or was it just a feeling? Was anything said or expressed between you? All these questions are worth asking yourself in order to gain some perspective. Sensing someone's interested in you is something we all do, but sometimes we're wrong or they simply don't want to do anything about it. In that case, I'm afraid I think their wishes have to be respected, despite what Linda said. They surely have to be ready to move on themselves rather than have the situation forced upon them? If I was you, I would let things unfold naturally without trying to direct them. Because the situation involves the happiness, well being and input of 3 people then it's not yours alone to direct. That said, I wish you happiness and love in whatever's meant to be. 
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Dulce Luna
Newflake Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2006 02:32 PM
I agree with everything Swerve said. Where his marriage is going is for him to decide, not you. You know how the old saying goes,"If you love someone then set them free......."IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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