posted December 19, 2006 12:30 AM              

I apologize for the 'me' oriented (selfish-like post), but I admit I have wandered around this forum for quite a while now and just had to ask...

For most of my adolescence I have been referred to as timid/ meek 'the quiet' girl by outsiders and by fellow class mates (even my teachers thought this). Yes, I admit that at times I could (can) be 'anti-social'. However, not known by many others in my life is my love of music...singing. I mean, honestly everytime I try to sing in front of not only strangers (but also even my extended family members); I 'shell' up...I feel like my chest is about to collapse in and I become too nervous to continue the song; and so I leave the song unfinished. This keeps on happening over and over again. Not once, not twice but it is a vicious continuous cycle. I mean, who has ever heard of a singer who does not have the nerves to sing in front of others? I personally know it is ridiculous on my part to be so nervous but it seems that my 'mind' thinks that I can't stop this.

My chart is as follows, I am pretty sure this is my birth time. Hopefully, my sources (i.e.: both of my parents) are correct:

I guess what I am asking is quite childish and maybe even silly...but how does one overcome shyness? Does it have something to do with my T-square (I believe) opposing my first house 'expression'? Or is it because of my Virgo ascendant and/ or Chiron (wounded healer) in Gemini (communications) conjunct my Midheaven (seen by public)?

I also become shy just by speaking in public (not just singing): it even goes as far as stuttering when I get too nervous whilst speaking. I don't know, I do have quite a lot of saturn contacts in my natal chart (mercury square saturn being one of them) maybe this may be one of the reasons. I just want to overcome this...because quite frankly I need too. Oddly, I was always hyper as a child (ages 1 to 8)...my mother said that I was a, "fireball" (her exact words) the jokester (good ole' Aries sun).

I apologize for not being able to make the chart any larger. My birth time is as follows:
April 3, 1988
6:12 p.m.,
Bottrop, Germany

Many thanks and deepest regards,

Amelia

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'Virgo Ascendant, Libra Moon, Aries Sun'

posted December 19, 2006 12:46 AM              

The only way to get rid of shyness is to keep putting yourself out in front of other people! Your nervousness will never go away...instead, it will become a nervous ENERGY to perform. But first you have to learn to USE that nervousness...and that means getting a LOT of experience in front of an audience.

If you are interested in learning how to be in front of an audience, I suggest looking to see if there is a Toastmasters International club anywhere near you: http://www.toastmasters.org

You will have the opportunity to be in front of and talk to a friendly, helpful crowd of people. And if you want to put a little singing into your talking...that's even better! All you need is the confidence positive, enjoyable experiences in front of a crowd brings...and you can find that at Toastmasters.

A Toast to your singing!

posted December 19, 2006 01:37 AM              

There's a lot I could say but I'll keep it limited to now. But let's first look ar your
Pisces Mercury in the 7th house - your communication style is naturally poetic and musical; you probably express yourself better through music than through ordinary language; you are also very intimate in your communiction style, and muchof what you say comes straight from the heart. You also are highly senstive to the nuances of the others' verbal and nonverbal communication styles, which might be confusing at times. You might sometimes feel overwhlemed just through a mundane conversation with another person, because of all the nuances you pick up and absorb from them.

You have several significant apsects to your Mercury:

- Sextiles 9th house Taurus Venus and 5th house Cap Mars help gives your Mercury a stronger aesthetical sense as well as refinement, intuition and added senstivity. The 9th house helps add sophistication and the 5th house helps add creativity. These are very good aspects for an artist of any kind!

- Quincunx with Libra moon adds a deep emotional passion to express yourself in beautiful ways with others, but there's a bit of tension wiht this aspect that make make you hesistant and self-conscious, as Libra is very concerned with how it appears to others. Your moon falls in the Gemini decan of Libra, which makes it more sympathic to your Mercury (mercury rules Gemini), but it also adds more nervousness to this aspect.

- Squares Uranus and Saturn conjunction. This is a tough one, but not as bad as it seems. You'll need ot grew into this one. Uranus and Saturn are paradoxical - Saturn is conforming, while Uranus is rebellious. This disagreement between Saturn and Uranus places a lot of tension and stress on your Mercury. However, notice that Jupiter trines this difficult conjunction as well - there's your saving grace. Jupiter knows how to roll with Uranus' craziness and tolerate Saturn's pushiness. Jupiter falls in your 8th, which rules the deeper subconsciousness and our deeper fears. Jupiter here can help you face those fears in a positive way, although this may take some practice for you to tap into its benevolent energies. But know it's there - you certainly have it in you to overcome your fear.

Jupiter, whose sign is Sagittarius, rules higher thinking, spirituality and travel, both literally and figuratively (like traveling through mental thought or artistic expression). Here's a meditative exercise for you to practice to help you tap into your Jupiter's positivity and benevolence: print out your chart, and sit down somewhere by yourself. Look first at your Pisces Mercury. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine Mercury as your talented, musical "inner voice" looking to find its way out into the world where it can be heard. Trace the aspect lines from your Mercury to that Uranus-Saturn conjunction. Now think about your fears, your anxieties you feel when you try to sing in front of other people - all that confused, mixed up feelings inside of your that seem to pull you back into yourself. OK, now trace the aspect lines from that Uranus-Saturn conjunction to your Jupiter in the 8th. Now close your eyes again, and try to imagine Jupiter as a big, smily, jovial face radiating joy and kindess. Imagine that face as though it's sitting in the middle of your deepest, darkest place in your soul, where all your fear and anxieties live. Imagine that face laughing and illuminating that dark place with joy and confidence. Now, once you can imagine, sing aloud. Even if it's just onenotes. Just sing as loud and as long as you can while imagining that joyful Jupiter face. As you sing, smile and try to make it sound as joyful and happy as you can.

Try doing as often as you can. It may take some practice, but over time it'll come moreeasily to you. Once you have practice envisioning that joyful Jupiter face when you sing, you can use that to help you when you sing in front of others. Good luck to you!

posted December 19, 2006 01:43 AM              

I'm surprised the Aries won't come out more. You know they can be mean at times and agrressive.

posted December 20, 2006 01:32 AM              

Gemini Nymph: Wow, thanks so much for the in-depth diagnosis of my natal chart. Yes, you cleared up a couple of questions for me. Like how to 'balance' my uranus and saturn (who both square mercury); it always confused me a bit...how to balance the 'conformer' with the 'rebel'. I guess Jupiter does help a bit with that . Also, yeah...you just got me to remember that my Libra moon IS in the gemini decan; a lot of nervous mercurial energy there. As for, being self-conscious of what others think of me; that part is also 100% accurate...I do worry too much about what others think of me; their expectations. As for communicating better through music that is also correct and I do pick up 'nuances' from the environment and/ or people fairly quickly; actually very quickly is more like it. Thanks so much for the mind/ meditation 'exercise' tip; I WILL give a try.

Sweet Stars: Don't get me wrong, I do have my 'one minute' temper tantrums but it seems that my Libra moon does not like my Aries' sun rudeness that much and it ends up getting stifled, heh. That or the fact that my sun is a singelton; I have read that when it is a singelton one can expect either extremes of expression or extreme suppression of ones' sun sign traits. That or the fact that I was raised by a Libra Sun (with Venus and Mars in Virgo) mother; she always emphasized (and still does emphasize) politeness and putting others first, heh.

InLoveWithLife: Yes, I just really now noticed the 'yods'; thanks for pointing it out. and coincidentally it is pointing to the second house of Taurus; again...maybe emphasizing Taurean traits...i.e: MUSIC, singing, and yes...I do 'love' food. heh.

Anywho, thank you all for the lovely and insightful replies,

posted December 20, 2006 04:50 AM              

Sorreee, I digress.

I guess what Im trying to say is there is no right way to be and you shouldnt pile that pressure onto yourself. You are shy...embrace it (I am shy. So??!!)
Just dont let it get in the way of u doing what it is you want to do.

posted December 20, 2006 12:36 PM              

^ Dew, your brother sounds almost exactly like me. haha. The whole reading newspapers and being able to stay content with staying in my room almost the whole day is definately a typical for me. My parents STILL think I'm weird for being this way but he's lucky to have such a cool sister like you...my two older sisters on the otherhand; agreed with my parents...LOL.

I guess, I do have to 'embrace' my shyness; it is an aspect of my personality but, yeah to let it stop me from achieving my goals is pure nonsense.

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'Virgo Ascendant, Libra Moon, Aries Sun'

posted December 20, 2006 01:03 PM            

As for singing, i can totally relate. I am incapable of speaking in Public or giving presentations. I just finished my final and it was an oral exam. I almost passed out having to sit there in front of the teacher and rake through my brain for answers. I think overcoming that comes from within you. I have always been shy and pushed around in my childhood. Im not anymore because I decided for myself that the people im afraid of are no better than me. I have the power within me and who are they to make me feel inferior. I think if you consider yourself as an equal you will be less scared of speaking out...

The way I deal with Public speaking now is by having my entire speech written out, I dont even pick my head up when i speak but i keep mentally telling myself to slow down. While my mind is blank i can be confident in what i wrote out. And id say practice makes perfect, parice among friends. Try to speak up as much as you can in a group. My best friend is always the shy one in the corner, just go the center. They are your friends whats to fear?

And whats even funnier is shes born on April 3 too but in 1987. Thats awesome..and her name is Amy...the coincidence is actually bizzare.

Best of luck to you love!

posted December 20, 2006 01:50 PM              

I mean, yeah I too always seem to pick up some responsibilities ('burdens') for the sake of my family members. Funny about all the coincidences between your friends' natal chart and myself. haha, who said astrology was false...

I mean, yeah I think it all comes down to one feeling 'inferior' even when basically that isn't true... I really wish I could bestow the world the gift of confidence; it would help A LOT. All in all, I have learned that when someone is nervous of what others think of them; they in turn need to remember that the other person is just as nervous as how they appear to others; it's all relative... I just need to remember that.

Anywho, I will definately give this a try and yes, I will find out who my 'real' friends are.

Ironically, my name asteroid ('Amelia') makes a square to my sun...odd but true, lol.

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'Virgo Ascendant, Libra Moon, Aries Sun'

posted December 20, 2006 09:11 PM              

Yeah, I think we as humans are entitled to have some flaws or 'quirks', maybe we should all get to embrace this fact more.

I too wish you luck on this.

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'Virgo Ascendant, Libra Moon, Aries Sun'