posted December 22, 2006 07:52 PM              

SSIA (subject says it all)

I have two Leo parents whom I love dearly. Problem is....I'm a submissive Virgo with them. One bosses me around like I am a "maid".....get this get that.

I need to stand up to them, but I am approaching 35 and still act like I am their little kid. yes, mom, whatever you say. I can't even tell them anything, we just think soooooo differently.

posted December 22, 2006 08:10 PM              

It usually ends up squashing me until i have no voice left. Jeez, sounds pathetic huh?!!!!!

Also, i have this thing where, I don't want to "ruffle" peoples feathers, because it seems like both of my parents are willing to speak very loud, very honest, and when anything came in the way of that, they are both VERY tough with any criticism or fight. So, I just learned how to aquiesse to the "higher leo's power"

posted December 22, 2006 10:18 PM              

And I have seen this in a lot of other Leos. I HAD a Leo friend at college till she snobbily cut me down majorly just because I got a higher grade than her in the same class, as if I did it on purpose to show her up. But you know, she wouldn't show up to class and she wouldn't do her work.

posted December 23, 2006 12:38 AM            

My dad DEFINITELY had his moments of being a pompous a*s, no doubt about it, but his positive qualities were SO good that it often made you forget his negative. Deep down he was always just a big, insecure BABY. Although, he'd never let anyone know that. The funny thing is that I think during my parents' early years of marriage, my mom was deeply afraid of his temper, when really he just knew how to BELLOW really loud. There was no bite with his bark. My brother, sister, and I learned quickly that he could be easily manipulated even though he himself was the king of manipulation. He ALWAYS wanted to get his way. I remember one evening last year when I had rented a couple movies. When he came home he didn't want to watch them and threw a fit. My sister and I tried reasoning with him, but that just fueled his temper and he threw a guilt trip on us. We both knew that he was in the wrong so we didn't back down, I grabbed the movies and she and I went into another room. In his typical fashion, he came to US not long after...not with an "apology" but with a long face and his head down asking us to come back in the other room to watch our movies and he told us he'd watch them with us. He was easier to deal with when you called him on his crap, or used the same manipulation on him that he used against you.

For all of his faults though, I still think my dad was the greatest. I admired him so much. His "toughness" was more of a surface thing, where as my mom...she's always been much more difficult for me to handle. My sister and I both felt it was easier to talk to our dad about our problems. He always looked at things objectively, and he could see two sides to a story. With my mom, there is always only one side - HERS. And you CANNOT tell her any different. To this day, my mom is one of the few people in this world who can make me cry. My dad never did. Deep down he was a sweet, soft-hearted man. I could always convince him before my mom to bring home a new kitten or puppy when I was growing up...he could NEVER turn down a puppy! LOL...poor thing cried like a baby when we lost animals too. My mom's definitely the tougher nut to crack.

posted December 23, 2006 01:17 AM              

I agree, however that Leo is all heart though. you get warm and fuzzy around them. their tendency to boss is an outer layer to gain respect (and probably demand love). But it doesn't always work the way they think it works.

posted December 23, 2006 08:24 AM              

I think it is very interesting that more than one of ya'll said to "call out" the leo when they are being "too much". I have hardly ever done this to either one of them. It's kind of like walking on eggshells around both of them, so everything remains the status quo.

Maybe this is the problem i've always had, they assume that because they are telling me everything up front, that I am doing the same.........huh, i never thought of that.

I just don't want any LOUD temper tantrums or crying ("do you know how much I do for you......love you????...sob sob sob" from them.

I need to put on a thicker skin around them......I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT!!!!

posted December 23, 2006 05:22 PM            

You are likely to be held to a higher standard than your friends and it's quite likely you will not be permitted to do all the things your friends do.

Leo takes child rearing seriously and you will learn the lessons they have to teach you whether you like it or not. Most Leos have been down many roads, some with a lot of potholes. Don't be at all surprised at their determination to prevent you from making the same mistakes, some quite costly.

Perhaps one day you'll appreciate that but if not...TS.

It is seldom I've read such BS. I don't know any Leos like you've described and I wouldn't recommend trying those tactics on any Leo I do know, myself included.

thedividedsky, it's time to have a calm reasonable talk with your Leo parents...about making your own decisions and being "responsible" for the outcomes. You might be surprised at their acceptance of the changed relationship.

posted December 23, 2006 05:38 PM            

I can't speak for my father because he was great and a decent non-pompous leo. My personal comments in particular deal with leos that are other people that I have met that needed a real good kick up the butt. Being with parents is different as there is a love there and we do owe them for raising them.

posted December 24, 2006 08:27 PM              

Things said here are OPINIONS, and ways certain people do NOT get along, should everything always be about niceties? Sorry, but that's not how the real world works, I think covering up the bad things in life is a good way to be fake. I'm a Virgo, and Leos like to try to tear me to pieces and run me into the ground, this is truly what occurs, should this not be discussed on an astrology message board? Why is that bringing up bad feelings for you, jwhop, does it remind you of yourself? If you're going to get defensive over something you don't like to read, maybe it's because it reminds you of a part of yourself you'd like to hide because it hurts others but you enjoy doing it.

Either way, I'll say what I want I didn't state that anything I said was FACTUAL, just subjective experiences, in that case I can't be wrong, since that's what I experienced. SO TYPICAL though of people who want to hide someone's negative, SUBJECTIVE, experiences. Maybe someone needs to take care of their 8th house/Pluto/Scorpio issues? Darker things in life do occur!

posted December 24, 2006 09:34 PM              

Guess who has to be the center of attention whenever the family gets together? Guess who's problems always have to take top priority? Guess who's always bossing eveyone around? Guess who's always making mean jokes at others' expense, but can't take what he gives? Guess who always has the tantrums and emotional hissy fits that absolutely exhausts everyone within a 10 miles radius?

I grew up in an emotional vacuum because my brother's incessant neediness and demanding sucked my parents dry. He's so self-centered and narcissistic he scares me. Seriously. He lies, schemes, manipulates, pout, rages, lies some more - whatever it takes to get his way, because he cannot tolerate things otherwise. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: my brother's an a**hole.

posted December 25, 2006 10:42 AM            

I make no apologies for enforcing my rules, my values and my ethics over those of society, those of my children's friends and their parents, those of my children's school teachers and everyone else's.

My children graduated from the family environment Summa *** Laude. They grew up straight, strong, responsible, free and independent, well able to cope with whatever life throws at them, achieve their dreams and take care of themselves.

No question, it would have been much easier to go with the flow, to say yes instead of no, absolutely not and hell no, to avoid all those "Awwww Dad" moments. I took the path less traveled and I have no regrets for having done so.

I do regret I didn't have any knowledge of astrology to tailor those lessons I taught to the individual personalities and psyches of my children. They do, so perhaps they will use it and those lessons they teach their children will go down easier.

Now, I'm almost ready to leave to spend Christmas Day with those children I oppressed in a Leo tyranny, an Aquarius, a Scorpio and a Gemini, daughters all.

A very strange thing happened. As my daughters grew up, left the home and gained some experience in life, "dear old dad" got a hell of a lot smarter. I have all the "Thank You" cards to prove it..."Thank You cards which I keep...and cherish.

posted December 25, 2006 01:30 PM              

VTT: Probably stating the obvious, but basic sun sign incompatibility huh? I have good friends who are Virgos and good friends who are Leos, and they def get on each other's nerves. You can see the teeth gritting or the eyes just burning to roll at the slightest turn of the head! I'm a Taurus with a Leo Moon/ASC so I tend to get caught in the middle.

Well I have met some beautiful, nurturing, supportive Leos and I have met those Leos that everyone here is talking about (spotlight hogs). I just went to a Christmas party at one's house and she passed out her baby pictures and gave an autobiographical voiceover narration!!! (But she got me a nice, thoughtful gift so I guess I should be grateful.) Still makes me wonder if her Leo Sun is conj a Leo ASC though. She is an aspiring actress for God's sake.

Anyway, I think what I meant to say was I'm sorry you all had to deal with the sourpuss breed of Leo!

posted December 25, 2006 02:23 PM              

u dont need to apologize. why shud u? it is not you who is under fire here. in fact, no leo in specific is. ppl r just coming in and sharing their experiences, both negative and positive, with leo's they know. why do u think u have to justify your actions as a leo parent? and setting high standards for your kids is one thing, while domineering over them, and not letting their personality grow is something else. Like in the movie 'in pursuit of happyness', whr the dad tells his son 'don't let anyone tell you what you can or can't do, including myself'. i feel tht even little kids are individuals, and have a right to opinion, no matter how silly it might seem to us adults.

anyways, now if there is a thread about cappy's i knw i wud tend to get a little bit defensive. but then i knw tht thr r all sort of crappy cappy's out there.(and someone at this very moment might be thinking the same abt me!) one needs to acknowledge and give credence to someone else's subjective experiences without saying tht its all non-sense. u knw, u r sounding like u yourself were dividedsky's father. just think back to how u yourself might have felt abt your parents whn u were a kid, instead of identifying yourself so much with the parent role.

posted December 25, 2006 09:34 PM              

jwhop- you are one Leo out of millions. just because you think you are and/or probably were a good dad, doesn't mean every Leo is.

VTT- oooooh yeah. Let's talk Leo fathers, eh? This could be fun.

I was my father's b!tch until my parents divorced when I was 13. At 8 years old I was working "on the farm" four hours a night after school..

What? Do I hear the backtalk of "kids should work, don't act spoiled.." Yes, I agree kids should work- but not to the detriment of EVERYTHING ELSE IN THEIR LIVES. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere or do anything- EVER. When he bought the farm, I was pulled out of Girl Scouts, dancing classes, swimming lessons. So much for a well rounded childhood.

Oh, yeah, this is good too- because I was A GIRL, not only did this make me sub-human, but it also meant I was required to do a couple hours of housework too, above the outside chores. And watch my brothers, also (who, BTW, didn't have to do anything.)

On a daily basis I was called stupid, lazy, and told to shut up on a hourly basis. I never did anything good enough (I was A CHILD!! how am I supposed to carry 3 times my weight in milk to the bulk tank and lift it OVER MY HEAD?)

This is how my Leo father would "discipline" me by constantly berating me and threatening me. I once watched him beat a cow with a pitchfork until its knees buckled.

Inbetween the crazed rages, my father was silent. He wouldn't talk to anyone, just GLARE. He refused to talk to my mother during her third pregnancy because she couldn't darn his socks correctly. Because she was sick from being pregnant. Because she wanted to see her family- and he refused to let her go visit them.

Maybe he was overprotective of his wife (very Leo) he didn't give a sh!t about me. I used to get beat up BAD on my bus- and he did NOTHING.

oh, yeah, because I was a girl I was EVIL and only I had to go to church twice a week- no other member of my family had to.

I tried like h@ll to please him. I did everything he asked for chores, but I never did it quite right, and never fast enough. I would cook for him, make sure it was ready when he came in the house, never good enough. i got straight A's in school, and never heard a "good job."

We lost the farm and for the next 4 years he changed jobs every 6 months... working for the same 2 or 3 farmowners, and I still worked outside as part of the help. Years later, my brothers worked for one of these guys like I did- for 6 months each. They each got a steer to sell at auction which garnered them 3 grand for a college fund.

What did I get, for doing it for years?

NOTHING.

My mother told me years after the divorce the reason she finally left my father was because he was getting more and more agressive and she feared for my safety. yah. great guy.

Oh, there's more, but even I am tired of this tale of woe. I try not to think of it much. I am old enough to let it go. I didn't talk or see my father for about 10 years. I do speak to him now, and we have pleasant spats about politics. According to him, everything that ails the world is due to poor parenting (!!!!!!) its amusing.

I cannot bring myself to stay a night at his house. I still have weird dreams of my father choking me to death. He doesn't think there was anything wrong with my childhood. All I want is for him to acknowledge I didn't have it easy. I no longer hope for any kind of apology- I just want him to see it.

That won't ever happen. Too much pride.

MK

posted December 25, 2006 10:21 PM              

Astro aside... someone very close to me, his dad shares traits with yours and VTT's dad. His dad's not a Leo---I dunno what sun sign the guy is, but he's def one of those folks who would throw a violent tantrum if someone accidentally slammed a microwave door while he was sleeping...

posted December 26, 2006 12:33 AM              

Eh, so weird- I haven't had one of those "hey, my childhood was miserable!" moments in awhile.

Must be an X-mas present from the Universe.