posted February 02, 2007 09:09 AM              

I have another situation now.

I woke up this morning to find a text message from my cancer saying he is so unhappy. I replied and then played my voice mails and he called multiple times while I was sleeping and left a voice mail, so I sent another text about that. Then I went by his house this morning to give him a hug on the way to work but didn't want to wake anyone, so I just kept driving and sent another text telling him I tried to come by and give him a hug. Now I'm hoping when he wakes up he isn't overwhelmed with the 3 texts. Was that too much? I'm just so worried about him. Haven't heard anything from him yet this morning, but his last call was at 1:15 am, so don't expect he's up yet.

posted February 02, 2007 09:31 AM              

the strange breed of cancer male that many of us has been dealing with on this message board...

he seems to need us and want us, but for some reason or another has to hide it in a shroud of "casual" dating. I think mine has even said "casual relationship" which made me laugh on the inside.

The only way i have been dealing with this is to put on my SUPER DUPER protective heart and soul cloak, and go along with it. And i have faltered, just recently, and let my heart come out and his response was....."you have to watch yourself" SO, Just to give you advice from a similar situation, this cancer o mine has brought so much into my life, I am going to swim against the current as long as I can hold my head up. If I really start sinking.......(and i have but then made it through).....i will drop him from my life. Then, it will not be worth it to me anymore.

Mine opened up to me one time and told me that he can "talk a good game"...which to me meant he doesn't always mean what he says.

I think it was good that you responded when he was down, maybe he will realize that you are worth much more than the title he's currerntly giving your relationship.

It seems like three texts and you drove by his house....he should really appreciate that.

I hope he gives you some of that cancer sunshine today and opens up a little as to what his feelings were last night.

posted February 02, 2007 09:38 AM              

If you want more from this man that just casual stuff, just make sure that he knows that you struggle with those feelings. I think in some strange way they like that........just in case they come around, you will be there for them.

posted February 02, 2007 09:44 AM              

I haven't TOLD him I have feelings for him (it's only been 2 months). I didn't want THAT to scare him away either, but I think my actions show that I do.(?)

I sure hope he tells me what was going on. I'm so afraid he will make light of it today and I am kicking myself I didn't wake up to any of his calls last night when he was ready to talk. ACK!

posted February 02, 2007 09:56 AM            

i think he likes you. but like i said in a previous post-its very tricky-you are going to have to deal with him coming in and out of the shell, skirting sideways, running away. this cycle will repeat itself alot.
i do find it interesting that as a sag you really like him..do you have cancer on your fifth house? as a cancer, i am surrounding by lots of family, friend, and boyfriend who have alot of sag influence in their chart. its almost uncanny. i really like sags very much. do you know what rules his fifth house by chance?

posted February 02, 2007 10:04 AM              

I don't have an exact birth time, so not sure about his 5th house - BUT I do know he has either a scorpio or sag moon - does that help?

posted February 02, 2007 10:04 AM              

Life is so precious and so short. It is a shame to waste time.

Own your feelings for this guy and share them with him. Be fearless! Be yourself!

posted February 02, 2007 10:14 AM              

artgirl - I KNOW! Cancer men have gotten under so many of our skins!! Ugh! I think they ARE worth it though :-) Oh don't worry, I NEVER call unless I'm returning his call. lol I have texted him, but only a few times in the 2 months we've known each other. Today I was just worried after his message and sent a few at once.

UPDATE: WTF?!! Now he says he's sorry it wasn't like that - he was out with the boys and got drunk and was just horny. WTF?!! Was he so unhappy he couldn't get his rocks off or is he downplaying it now? What do you guys think? I replied with: But you said you were so unhappy - do you just not want to talk about it now?? No reply yet.

posted February 02, 2007 10:32 AM              

It is excrutiatingly difficult for most of us to voice what it is we have in our hearts. For the very fact that words and feelings are really not that synonymous.
I could tell you I like you...but I am feeling a whole lot more than 'like' for you.

And the nore you try and get us to talk about our feelings, the more frustrated and messy a whole affair can be.
So the best thing to do is not to play games....and not be swayed by his game (otherwise he will only end up feeling guilty!!)...and just to carry on with yourself.

Just let him know in no unceratin terms, that you are not interested in games and when he's ready for anything real, to let you know.

Cancerians like straight-forward talk. It cuts through the BS that is their overactive emotions

When we have a tiff, my boyfriend (Sag sun, Taurus moon, Sag merc and venus!!) loves to communicate and try and talk it through butI remain so passive and mute.
But I just need to think.
Though I end up feeling friggin awful about it and frustrated with myself. It becomes a mess.
Whereas when I am given space and no attention is given to my passivity, I am but like a rose

Just be patient with him.
I really hope this helps

posted February 02, 2007 12:59 PM              

Well I was really far from "kissing his butt" a little while ago. I have now told him off! LOL Uh oh, our first fight. lol

He had already made the "must have been one of your other booty calls" comment and then after that, he was STILL saying it wasn't him. I forwarded him the message and told him to quit talking about me having booty calls, that it couldn't be farther from the truth and it is p*$$*ng me off. I said you must be talking about yourself.

No reply and that was over an hour ago.

Oh well, I won't be called a w**re (in so many words) and he should know by now I am not one! It was almost 7 months since I had sex before we met and THAT he knows!! WTF?!

posted February 02, 2007 01:07 PM              

*UPDATE: WTF?!! Now he says he's sorry it wasn't like that - he was out with the boys and got drunk and was just horny. WTF?!! Was he so unhappy he couldn't get his rocks off or is he downplaying it now? What do you guys think? I replied with: But you said you were so unhappy - do you just not want to talk about it now?? No reply yet.*

posted February 02, 2007 01:13 PM              

This may have been what he was doing....

posted February 02, 2007 08:12 PM              

Meanwhile, that crap story about drinking with his friends and being horny and that's the only reason he called you is...crap. He might have been horny but you don't call someone for a straight booty call and end up saying that you are unhappy; that's absurd. At most, he drank, he got horny (understandable), then he started to feel vulnerable then some long-ago pain kicked in and he started stewing in it and then he remembered that you guys have an arrangement (that is emotional even if you call it FB) and decided to call you. He couldn't get you so he was forced to confront those feelings rather than dilute them in sex and when that happened he left you the message about being unhappy because he wanted you to help the pain go away and you were not there to do it. In the light of a sober day, he was horrified that he allowed himself that vulnerability in front of you and decided to perform that crazy song and dance about not remembering (Cancers rarely forget). "Maybe that was one of your other booty calls," I agree that he was trying to see if there is anyone else that you have that particular arrangement with because now he is wondering why you didn't answer your phone.
Either way I don't think that all of those text messages were too much. It shows that you care and that you take his feelings very seriously and Cancer really needs that to open up. I do think that he is now thinking about what to say to you next. So leave him to do that in quiet. I think the next thing that he says about this particular situation will let you know what his intentions for this relationship are. If he says something explanatory about it - okay, maybe he's ready, if he tries to play it off - can you handle waiting until he is ready; if he ever is?

That's my opinion I hope that it helps.