posted February 08, 2007 11:51 AM            

By: Terry Marlowe

Fun Read! Thought I'd list the one thing mentioned that will not be tolerated...
Or in otherwords, The Dealbreaker.

Besides Infidelity,
What is your Dealbreaker? Do you agree with these?

Aries: Indolence

"Aries is on the move so much that usually only Gemini (or another Aries) can keep up.
If you want to spend too much time on the couch watching "Six Feet Under",Thats exactly where your relationship will end up."

Taurus: Nagging

"Okay, so its true that in any relationship, both partners are going to bug each other about leaving the toilet seat up, straightening the kitchen right after dinner instead of first thing in the morning; and using each other's razor in a pinch. To a certain extent, such exchanges are healthy; and can actually be an impetus to get chores done. But when it comes to the Bull, a little goes a long way. Taureans are persistant to a fault, and they admire perseverance in others - and yes, it takes alot to irritate them. But when you persevere in nagging, thats another story. Drop by drop, like Chinese water torture, the nagging seeps into the Bull's consciousness, and then boy, does he see red. Remind your Taurus about little things gently and tenderly, and give him/her plenty of positive reinforcement when he responds."

Gemini: Being Smothered

"Gemini is an air sign, and needs to be able to breathe. Make sure to be able to give the Twins space or you won't be sharing a room, much less a bed."

Cancer: Rejection, Either Real or Perceived

{this one is long! but true..so very true!}

"Take note of the word "perceived". You don't have to flip Cancer the bird to wound him. It can happen so very easily by accident, especially if you're a more thick-skinned sign, like Sagittarius. When a Crab "thinks" he's been slighted, he will act as if he has been slighted.
What's the difference, your Crab will point out, between "thinking" I've been hurt and actually having "been" hurt, if I "feel" hurt.
Logiclly, of course, there's a big difference; but the consequences for you as Cancer's lover will be very similar. Cancer is a water sign, and effects of rejection either real or imaginary, will ripple within his depths for miles."
{to paraphrase}
Say he spent all afternoon making you dessert... he's excited... but you... you went to lunch with your chocoholic sister and so you refuse your Crab's crowning glory- his dessert- expect serious sulking at least till morning.

{okay back to the text}
"On a larger scale, perhaps you head out for a few after hours drinks with co-workers. {huge mistake} You don't bother to call home since you don't expect to be long, but when you finally glance at your cell phone, its 10:00 p.m. and you already have three rather snarkey text messages from the Crab! You hightail yourself home, and find Cancer waiting on the couch.
"Was Eddie from accounts there?" he asks. He's suspected you for months of having a crush on Ed, even though thats the farthest thing from your imagination. Answering honestly, you make the mistake of confirming that Ed was present. You've cooked your own goose, honey. Now your in for Crabby petulance for at least a week, and all this sulking might be more than you can take." {Amen}

posted February 08, 2007 12:00 PM              

I also find this person is very accurate when describing Cancers, which I have had several dealings with.

posted February 08, 2007 12:11 PM            

~Kevin

posted February 08, 2007 12:52 PM            

"As we've seen, Lions have alot of Pride. Serious insults about Leo's career progress or family show discourtesy. You're being even more disrespectful if you humiliate the Lion in public. Does this mean you must tiptoe around Leo all the time? No, just watch yourself in public. If necessary, you two can duke it out in private."

Virgo: Neglect

"Do not neglect Virgo, your relationship, your appearance, your house or apartment, or your career responsibilities. If you do, the Virgin will initially try to help, but if you don't shape up, he or she will give up on you."

Libra: Intellectual Starvation

posted February 08, 2007 01:11 PM            

quote:

---

Libra: Intellectual Starvation

"You're romancing Libra, so shouldn't we be talking about daring deeds done in a gondola? This is a love affair, not a lecture hall. Maybe your love is into sleek cars and doesn't care whether or not mourning becomes Electra. Nevertheless, Libras must be able to connect to their partner mentally, or ultimately the relationship will be brief."

---

posted February 08, 2007 01:22 PM            

quote:

---

On a larger scale, perhaps you head out for a few after hours drinks with co-workers. {huge mistake} You don't bother to call home since you don't expect to be long, but when you finally glance at your cell phone, its 10:00 p.m. and you already have three rather snarkey text messages from the Crab! You hightail yourself home, and find Cancer waiting on the couch.

---

Well of course its true. If your spouse were to go out all for hours of the night without letting you know, you'd be P***** off too.

And about percieving being hurt; how are you percieving to be hurt if you are hurt? I've never understood that particular description of cancers, it just doesn't make sense to me.

posted February 08, 2007 01:44 PM            

"You'd think such a sensuous person would hold modern views on relationships. You'd be wrong. Have you found a Scorpio who's into sex parties and swapping? Then boink with my blessing. Otherwise, assume that on the subject of fidelity, his outlook is as old-fashioned as a 1950s poodle skirt."

Sagittarius: Clinginess

"A Sagittarius is the wrong choice for you if you require his or her constant reassurance or presence. Maintain an active social life of your own and lean on your friends if you need. Archers find clinging behavior off-putting, even in someone they love."

Capricorn: Irresponsibility

"This kind of behavior in intolerable to the Goat. Respect your elders, get to the office on time, and stash cash in an easily accessible place in case of emergency. You won't have to use it, of course, because Cap won't allow emergencies to happen. (yeah, right... and people say Capricorns are realistic. Emergencies do happen.)"

Aquarius: Self-Centeredness

"Aquarius is a detached air sign. Unlike the water signs, the Water Bearer runs from introspection faster than a Cancer darts to a donut sale. It doesn't mean Aquarius won't examine his or her flaws or problems. He just doesn't want to wallow in them, and won't like it if you do."

Pisces: Possessiveness

"Yes, we've pondered this dilema. We know the fishes don't have a wandering eye~ they have four wandering eyes. The only suggestions astrology can offer is to allow Pisces room, avoid giving her the third degree, and define your own limits. You already own a doormat; you don't have to be one."

posted February 08, 2007 02:07 PM            

Any other Dealbreakers for Libra's ?

I've got that loaded 7th house and the mental connection is important to me, too..
A big chunk of foundation..

posted February 08, 2007 02:26 PM            

btw - last night we had a talk and well unlike others this one didnt end as well as Id thought.. after the argument (talk) i went to my comp for a little bit and then she hadnt fell asleep so she go up came over and tapped me and asked me when i was coming to bed (sounding frustrated) and I told her in a litlle bit... and so I eventually did... but when I got into bed I took a pillow and laid down so that our heads were at the others's feet. (cause I had slept like that the night before to get comfortable cause the beds are small for two people) but then after like 5 mins she got up and told me that she was going back to her room to sleep , she said b/c so I could get some sleep but thats bs. omg I was so Pi**ed i think i almost started crying.. she had the nerve to ask me if i was alright and she gave me a kiss on the forehead.. ughh but w/e (so that was like the first time in a few weeks we havent slept in the same bed together so im just like wtf. so far im not talking to her today and Im going to go tonight without sleeping with her as well .. assuming i can avoid her.. - two can play this game!

posted February 08, 2007 02:35 PM            

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

posted February 08, 2007 03:10 PM            

I'm a Virgo

posted February 08, 2007 03:26 PM            

"A Sagittarius is the wrong choice for you if you require his or her constant reassurance or presence. Maintain an active social life of your own and lean on your friends if you need. Archers find clinging behavior off-putting, even in someone they love."

_______________________

That is SOOOOOOOO true!!!! It makes me insano if someone is clingy and that doesn't have to be in the form of touchy clingy. It can be emotional as well. I had a friend that would keep me on the phone whining for hours. I would tell him I had to go and he would bring something else up that would lead him into a tirade about being dumped... Soon, I stopped taking his calls at all.

posted February 08, 2007 03:30 PM            

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

posted February 08, 2007 03:59 PM            

Kevin: I’m also a Cancer dating a Cancer. And in the early phases of our relationship we did fight about once a week, but after a year and a half our fighting has diminished greatly. I think it’s very hard for Cancer’s to trust and open up in relationships. We’re so soft and sensitive at our hearts, and we tend to get crabby and snappy when we feel hurt or rejected. Unfortunately when you have two cancers involved in a relationship you are BOTH sensitive and can both be crabby – so one of you will snap at the other, then the person snapped at gets hurt and snaps back, which wounds the original person even more. It’s a vicious cycle. In other relationships I think it might be a bit easier because one of the people (the non-Cancer) just wouldn’t react, or wouldn’t get as hurt. But with two sensitive crabs you’ll react to each other in hurt a lot. Here’s the good news - as you are with each other longer and start to trust that the person you are with adores you, isn’t going to leave you, and doesn’t want to hurt you, you’ll find that the arguments diminish. You don’t react as much to the perceived hurts or slights – nor do you pull back into that cancerian shell as much. You get more comfy and cozy. It’s really wonderful. My guy and I have been dating for 1.5 years now. Not long in the overall scheme of things and we’re just now getting to that trusting place where we’re at home with one another. It’s really wonderful. So hang in there and take good care of your little crab girl – and for heavens sake stop playing games, please.

The rejection game will do nothing but hurt you both. One of you has to stop the cycle or it will destroy you. Your girl was very obviously hurt that you didn’t want to go to bed with her (in her mind) and when you did you slept in a funny position that made her think you didn’t enjoy sleeping with her at all. You rejected HER by not explaining yourself. You could have gently told her why you wanted to stay up on your computer, and reassured her that you love sleeping with her. And when you got into bed you could have cuddled up close to her (in a normal spooning fashion) because you knew she was feeling small and maybe a little hurt. And when she sulked away, heart broken, you didn’t follow her, so now she’s pulling away from you into her little shell. And you are all mad (although you hurt her initially) and now you are pulling away and thinking about playing games. Ick! I hope you can see how destructive this cycle is. One or both of you needs to break out of it by just being honest, and expressing how you are feeling and how much you care for the other person.

Being a spiritually enlighten crab you should know that there are two “versions” of every sign. The enlighten, whole one that takes the high rode and develops the best aspects of his or her sign, the growing, spiritually “new” version of the sign that takes all the rich, good attributes and uses them in a manipulative and hurtful fashion. You know enough of astrology to chose the higher road here. You should recognize your girls sad, hurt feelings as rejection and you should be able to go to her and apologize (Yes, I really think you need to say you are sorry for hurting her), talk things through and make things right. If you really love this girl please please don’t play the normal cancer shell games with her. Being a Cancer you should know the cardinal rule – NEVER let a Cancer start to retreat into her/his shell. If you don’t catch her too soon she’ll pull away so deep you won’t find her again. Give lots of hugs and love and never let a day go by that you don’t talk or don’t try to make things right. If you really want to marry this girl, this behavior is essential on both of your parts.

posted February 08, 2007 07:12 PM            

let me clear a couple of things up ...

Its orignally always me getting hurt.. but instead of looking sad I get more ****** because .. the situations are always in which she does something that bothers me (or doesnt) and I look past it .. but then if I was to do something just like that then she would flip.. this is what I mean when I say she is unfair and this isnt really equal.. she is wrong alot of the times and sometimes she just cant accept it... I reassure her when I need to... and dont get me wrong.. i do surprise her.. i have cooked countless meals for her surprised her with little gifts... I do everything for her!! but you see its kinda one sided and I know i should just accept that instead of trying to always get back at her or make her look wrong (even though she is) its jsut frustrating as a cancer when you do so much ... and the same isnt getting extended to you..

ugh!

btw I love the story of you and your cancer .. thats amazing.. I wish the best for both of you! and its kind of inspiring.. it seemse cancer - cancer are the more prominent 1-1 sign relationships .. wonder why.. I had a friend in high school who dated this girl and as far as I know they have been together for almost (maybe over) 4 years.. I didnt actually find out that they were both cancers until this past year which was very interesting... the female is def. the more dominant between them.. lol is was kind of intersting.. i think in these relationships its kind of a toss up to see who grabs the dominant role.. between me and my crab its kind of like we both dominate eachother at times.. and especially her in public... but when its just me and her she will usually willing give in to me and respect that I am the more authoritave and correct person when we have problems... maybe its my virgo ascendent lol!! or my mars placement

... One more thing I wanted to mention b/c it was interesting..
- My cancer girl and my mom interchange sun and moon .. could this be a good thing?

Mom - SUN - Sag
MOON - Cancer

Gf - SUN - Cancer
MOON - Sag.

ok just replying back.. im sure I have more to say.. thanks Isolaede ..and stargazer

posted February 08, 2007 07:29 PM              

I also have Gemini Asc, Venus in Sag, and a Pisces Moon. I cannot handle being "smothered", "clinginess" or "possessiveness."

But at the same time I wont tolerate being neglected...with a virgo 5th house.

posted February 08, 2007 07:32 PM            

quote:

---

I experienced almost that exactly scenario. I suspected my ex had a crush on one of his co-workers then one night he didn’t come home, and I called him at like 3 or 4 AM to discover he’d been hanging out with this girl most of the night at a coffee shop. I’m fairly certain he didn’t cheat on me physically, but his doing that even though he knew I was worried about her was a deal breaker for me. I ended the relationship firmly and without remorse shortly after.

---

posted February 08, 2007 08:27 PM            

If you might permit though – let me give you a little insight on what I think is one of the fundamental differences been male and female Cancers, and really between men and women in general. Both boy and girl crabs are tender and easily hurt, but girl crabs have a much greater compulsion to talk about their feelings about the matter.

I think men are trained to take everything in and soldier on – silent and strong. This training starts when they are very little. Speaking in general terms, I think women generally don’t receive the same training. In fact, we’re encouraged to express our feelings. So, when a girl crab is hurt she tends to talk about it. Believe it or not, the quicker she talks about it the easier she is. Speaking from personal experience, I used to bottle a lot. Ultimately I always talked about what hurt me, it was just a matter of when. If I bottled for a few weeks, what hurt me would have gotten bigger, and darker. Kind of like a kettle boiling, pressure would have built up until it finally exploded out. Knowing that destructive tendency in my own personality I tend to tell my guy what hurts me right away these days.

Another interesting piece of information: I can almost grantee you that every time your girl flips out, at the heart of her insecurity and snappishness is a fear of loosing you. She doesn’t think you love her enough, or are going to stick with her. She desperately yearns to have someone understand her feelings and not reject her for them, so when she tells you how she feels, she’s already flinching inside expecting anger and rejection. So, basically, what she needs even more than an apology is a reassurance that you adore her no matter what, need her, and don’t plan on going anywhere. You could still be furious at her, but once she knows that your love is secure, she’ll soften up immediately, and transform from a hard prickly angry porcupine, back into that sweet dreamy girl you know and love. It works like magic almost all of the time.

In the early parts of our relationship, before he understood me better I think my crab was often hurt by my little bouts of honesty, and outpouring of hurt feelings. I didn’t always express my feelings in the most constructive manner, and sometimes I think they came out snappy and more aggressive than they should have. I had to learn to tone things down and use a more gentle approach when communicating with him, and he in turn has learned to immediately recognize when I’m hurt and address the situation right away. He doesn’t let me sit and stew for long any more. Generally I’ll get pouty, and tell him he hurt me, and he immediately explains what was going on in his head, and reassures me how much he adores me, and *POOF* everything is ok. And all in less than 5 minutes with no drama or arguing.

Again, the good news is – while we’ve both made conscious decisions to treat each other more carefully, most of our current harmony just came naturally – from learning each other better. I don’t get hurt as much when he get’s silent or distant, and he knows that some days I just have “mopey” days and he doesn’t get impatient or hurt by them. It’s wonderful.

So, just remember that your girl really does need to talk about her feelings. And she really isn’t “wrong” for feeling a certain way. Hehe. Remember perceived hurt is just as real to us Cancers as the real deal. Maybe you could help her learn to express her heart in a more healthy manner. And maybe you, my dear crab, could also learn to talk more about your needs. For example: Why don’t you try sitting your girl down and expressing how it makes you sad that she doesn’t cook for you, or do as many nice things. I actually had to do that with my crab boy – I was doing SO much for him in the early parts of our relationship, and he wasn’t doing as much. I told him in little ways over time – like “Gee honey, I love it when you cook for me. It means so much, and you haven’t made me anything in a long while which makes me kind of sad.” He was delightfully receptive. I honestly think some things just don’t come naturally to people – maybe their childhood home environment was different, but some people just aren’t as naturally giving. But the good ones are willing and eager to learn.

posted February 08, 2007 10:28 PM            

I am more like the girl you describe.. she is more inclined to be strong and hold it in.. in alot of ways she is very masculine.. so yea.. but I am really the one who does more for the relationship... but she has started to pick up on it a bit so its looking a little bit better.

so what were the thoughts on her and my mom interchanging?

thanks!

posted February 08, 2007 10:56 PM            

So, being faithful and loyal in a relationship is out of style?